“No.”
We’re still facing the same direction, so he can’t see my face. I only said I’m not nervous because I’m hoping to convince myself of that fact.
I’ve never done an interview before, except the short ones at auditions and that really extensive one I had to go through to get on this show.
“You’ll do great,” Aaron says, like he can feel the nerves buzzing off of me.
“I bet you’ll do better.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re a business guy,” I say. “You’re used to talking with people and selling them ideas.”
“Yeah, but you’re good at being you.”
“What?” I laugh, genuinely flattered.
“You are. It’s the reason they picked you for this show.”
“And why did they pick you, then?”
Aaron turns his face to the approaching shore. “Looks like we’ll be docked within a few minutes.”
From the dock, we’re shuttled back to the Santa Monica house, where a few crew members have stayed behind to set up an empty bedroom for our interviews.
Before leaving for today’s filmed date, I made sure to shut my bedroom door. Knowing there were people in the house who could poke around and discover things if they wanted to—like that Aaron and I have been sharing a bed—made me feel weird.
It sure will be nice to be back in my private apartment, where the only invasion of privacy I have to worry about is Molly using my razor.
Then again…
There’s one big thing I’ll miss.
My heart constricts as we enter the house. Tina’s already told us Aaron’s interview will be first, so I grab a sparkling water and head to the back patio. My anxiety is getting worse the closer I get to my interview.
One of the windows on the second floor must be open, because voices drift down. Aaron’s deep rumble causes butterflies in my stomach. Popping the top on the sparkling water, I take a small sip.
The back door opens, and Luzia emerges. She’s pulled her damp hair back, but her shoes are still wet. Without saying anything, she sits on the seat next to me, takes them off, and puts them in the sun.
“Sorry you got sprayed with water,” I say.
“It’s typical. That kind of thing usually happens to me.”
“Hey, sorry if I asked you this already, but you don’t know Molly, do you? Molly who works at the Out Now office.”
“No.” She leans back in her chair and stares at the ocean.
Too bad. I’ve been entertaining this fantasy of sneaking a note to Molly. Just to tell her that things aren’t as bad as I expected them to be. They’re actually really great.
“Rachel?” It’s another one of the PAs at the door. This one is a young guy who I’m pretty sure is only on his second day here. Production assistants seem to come and go fairly regularly.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“They said get to makeup. It’s almost your turn.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
While the makeup artist touches up my face in the hall, I try to imagine the questions I’ll be asked. There’s bound to be a curveball in there somewhere. Here’s hoping I’m up to the challenge.
A gray sheet has been hung across a wall in the bedroom facing the driveway, and several lights liven the stool set in front of it. One of the cameramen fiddles with his lens, and the sound guy puts my mic on. This should all feel normal by now, but it’s going to be really hard to talk about myself and come across as relaxed.
“Have a seat, Rachel,” Tina says, gesturing at the stool.
I do as I’m told, placing my laced hands between my knees.
Tina sits on a matching stool next to the camera. “How’s everything been going?”
The camera light is on. We’re doing this thing.
“Good,” I say, hating how stiff I sound.
Tina arches an eyebrow. Shit, shit, shit.
“I like the house,” I say, my throat hoarse. “And I’ve been having a good time on the dates.”
“Which has been your favorite?” Tina asks.
“Horseback riding,” I say. “Without a doubt. It had been way too long since I was in the saddle.”
Because I know she’s just going to ask me for more anyway, I keep talking.
“I did love whale watching today, though,” I say. “That’s something I never thought I’d have the chance to do. And being here in a house on the beach is amazing.”
“And what about Aaron? What’s he really like?”
My hands tighten together. “He’s cool.”
“He’s more than that. He’s awfully cute. What’s it like living in a house with someone like that? You’re the envy of a ton of women right now.”
The memory of his body pressed against mine on the boat surfaces. It’s impossible to stop my smile.
“Yeah,” I admit. “I’m sure I am.”
“What’s it like when the cameras aren’t here? Are you guys connecting?”
“Yeah. We are.”
I’m doing an awful job at this interview. The tension in the room says as much.
“What have you been doing together?”
Sex. And more sex.
“Hanging out,” I say. “Swimming, a lot.”
The other night, we went for a midnight naked dip when we were—mostly—sure the neighbors were asleep.
“We’ve watched all the movies in the house,” I add.
“Do you think Aaron is happy with the matchup?”
The question feels out of left field, though that’s probably my own nerves reacting.
“Um, I think so. Like I said, we’re getting along.”
“Enough to stay married?”
My laugh is hollow. “I haven’t asked him about that.”
Tina smiles and crosses in front of the camera. She stops close enough to me that I can smell the fruity scent coming off her hair.
“I know you’re nervous,” she says with a semi-forced smile, “but try your hardest to forget about the camera. Don’t think of this as an interview. It’s me and you in a room chatting, girl to girl.”
A deep inhale brings my shoulders nearly to my ears. If I use every ounce of my imaginative power, I might be able to pull that off.
“Okay.” I nod.
“And remember to answer by putting the question in there. It’ll edit better that way.” Tina goes back to her stool. “What’s your favorite thing about Aaron?”
I didn’t realize there was a list until I suddenly have to run through it. His good looks. His humor. The way he gives me his full attention whenever I talk. The careful, mindful way he performs every action.
“There’s a lot,” I say and blow a small breath out. “I don’t know if I could pick.”
“What’s something about him other people might be surprised to discover?”
“That…he’s really conscious of everything he says and does. Maybe it looks like he’s impulsive, but he’s not at all. He thinks things through first.”
“Sounds like a pretty mature trait.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“Is that something new for you?”
“Am I that way?” I ask. “Is that what you mean?”
“No, I mean as far as dating. What’s your experience with that been like? You’re in your mid-twenties, living in LA. Have you found dating here difficult?”
“I’ve found dating in LA to be…” Pain bubbles up my chest. “It’s been harder than I thought it would be. I came from a small town, you know. A lot of people in that area still marry people they went to high school with. There just isn’t a ton of options.”
“Did you date back in Texas?”
“I dated some in Texas, but it was never serious. I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life there, and a lot of the guys in my town already had everything planned out. They had the land they inherited or the jobs that had already been lined up for them. It was all really predictable.”
Not to mention I was seen as crazy the f
ew times I mentioned I wanted to be an actress. To many of the people where I come from, saying you want to do that is akin to saying you want to be a superhero. There’s no concept of the working artist and how that’s actually achievable.
“And what did you expect when arriving in Los Angeles?” Tina asks.
“Coming to LA, I expected…” It takes some thinking. This is an area of my life I haven’t devoted a ton of brainpower to.
“I thought it would be better,” I recall. “That because there would be so many more people, my chances would be better.”
“Have they been better?”
“Not really.” Emotion clogs my throat, and I clear it. “Dating hasn’t been much better here. Yeah, there are more people, but it’s like there are more complications, as well. I’ve met men who seemed interesting at first, and then they turned out to be vapid…men who were only interested in me because they thought I might have industry connections they could use…and then men who were just manipulative and mean. Shallow.”
I press my lips together hard. Bad mouthing the entire male populace is not my intention.
“I’ve met nice people, too,” I say, “but for some reason or another, it’s never worked out with any of them. Before I got on this show, I was about ready to quit dating altogether. My last relationship was a disaster, and I didn’t want to go through that again.”
Wow. Talking about this is turning out to be revelatory. If you’d asked me a month ago if I’d given up looking for someone, I would have said no way. But the truth is that I’d stopped hoping. I’d stopped thinking about boyfriends.
It’s not that I wanted to be single for the rest of my life; I felt that all my effort had taken me nowhere, so, little by little, I let the topic slide.
“If you were ready to quit dating,” Tina says, “what made you decide to do this show?”
Shoot. I almost gave myself away there by revealing I never had intentions to meet anyone romantically. Tina got me so relaxed that for a minute, I forgot I’m still playing Reality Rachel.
“Nothing else worked,” I say. “Not meeting people through friends, not dating apps. When the opportunity to do this show came along, I figured, why not? I have nothing to lose. Maybe, ironically, it’ll be what I didn’t know I was looking for.”
And it has been.
The truth hits with the speed of a train.
My ears buzz, and I’m only faintly aware of Tina asking something else.
“Sorry,” I say. “What was that?”
“If you had to choose right now to stay married to Aaron or take the divorce, which would you do?”
I open my mouth, stunned into silence.
“It’s a big question,” she says. “Take your time.”
“If I had to choose right now whether to stay married to Aaron or divorce him…” I shake my head. “I don’t know what I’d pick. I have no clue how I’ll be able to make a decision next week, let alone now.”
“And it depends on what he wants as well.”
“And it depends on what he wants as well,” I confirm, repeating back verbatim so she can use my answer in the edit.
“Do you have anything else you want to share? Final thoughts? What has this experience been like overall?”
“Well…” Unclasping my hands, I rub my palms against my thighs. “It’s been weird jumping into a relationship and having it filmed for others’ entertainment, but overall, I’m actually really happy I’ve done this. Aaron is a great guy. We got off to a rocky start at first, but I’ve never met anyone as kind and genuine as him.”
Genuine.
He tried to convince me that sometimes you can know a person from the get-go. Is it possible that’s what’s happened with us?
“Thank you, Rachel.” Tina looks to the cameraman. “We can cut.”
Relief floods me. The interview is over, and the best part is that it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be.
Tina meets me halfway. “You did a good job,” she says.
“Thanks. It was hard, but thank you for pushing me to talk.”
“You’re not ready for how much people are gonna love you. You’re America’s next sweetheart, for sure.”
Whether she’s blowing smoke or not, it’s a nice thing to hear.
“Thanks, Tina.”
Downstairs, I walk through nearly every room. It’s not until I see Aaron sitting by the pool talking to one of the crew members that I realize I’ve been looking for him.
He sees me across the yard and sits up a little straighter. My heart races; my chest expands. I swear I grow a little taller. If Aaron only keeps his gaze on me, soon, I’ll be big enough to touch the clouds.
He meets me at the pool’s edge, close to the spot where I slid into the water in my underwear after tacos and wine.
“How did it go?” he asks.
“Better than I expected.”
“Good.” His smile dazzles.
Yep. Everything is going better than expected.
Chapter 17
It seems to take the crew much longer than usual to leave, but maybe that’s my eagerness to be alone with Aaron.
Once everyone is finally gone, I lock the front door and head into the kitchen. Aaron is nowhere in sight, which isn’t odd or alarming for a house this big.
The fridge has been freshly stocked, but I must stand there holding the door and staring into it for a good five minutes. My stomach’s starting to rumble, but there’s nothing I’m in the mood for.
Taking an apple, I wash it off and take a bite. Maybe Aaron will have an idea of what to make.
He’s not in the backyard, and he’s also not in the living room or anywhere else downstairs.
“Aaron?” I call, heading up the stairs.
No answer.
He didn’t leave, did he?
No. Why would he do that?
Still, my pulse quickens, the thought of him vanishing from my life so quickly filling me with fear. We haven’t talked at all about what will happen once filming ends, and it’s not like I’ve made a move to open that conversation. If what we have going will end with the show, I’d rather not know. Ignorance is bliss and all.
My hand is on the door to his closed bedroom when suddenly it opens from the other side. Aaron appears, his hair combed back and smelling of a fresh shower. For a moment, I’m intoxicated by his heady scent.
And then I notice how dressed up he is. The blazer fits his shoulders perfectly, like it was cut for him, and the dark slacks are tight in all the right places.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi,” I say, blinking away the last of my stupor. “You look, um, incredibly sexy.”
“Thanks.” His grin melts me.
“But what are you dressed up for?” I gasp. “Dang. Did we have a date scheduled for tonight? I thought there were only two things for today.”
Aaron’s eyes widen. “Oh, no. We don’t have anything scheduled for tonight. I thought you might like to go on a real date. One that doesn’t involve cameras and doesn’t take place at a grocery store.”
I bite into a smile. “You thought the grocery store trip was a date?”
“I sure had a lot of fun on it.” He laughs.
“Me, too. I would love to go on a real date with you.”
Just saying the words makes me feel euphoric. A real date tonight means there’s the possibility of real dates in the future.
Maybe Aaron and I really will last beyond two weeks. As it turns out, I should have been more positive and open to that possibility all along.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“Where would you like to go?”
“Dinner.” I take his hand and swing it slightly. “I’m starving.”
“Okay,” he says. “But where to?”
“I dunno. Somewhere cozy. Maybe…Italian? How do you feel about that?”
“Sounds amazing. I’ll start looking for somewhere local.”
“I’ll get dressed.” Pushing onto my tiptoes,
I peck his lips. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
“Take your time. We don’t have to be anywhere.”
“Yeah, but I’m ravenous.” I start down the hall. A few steps to my room, I spin around, laughing. “Aaron.”
“Uh-huh?”
“You can’t look up restaurants. You don’t have a phone or internet.”
“That’s right.” He ducks his head and rubs the back of his neck. “I keep forgetting that.”
“I know,” I call, going into my room. “I’m still not used to it, either.”
I take a shower, my heart and lips singing the happiest tunes, and then I select a red wrap dress and pair it with some knee-high black boots that have heels. For my hair, I go loose, adding a few easy passes with a curling iron in order to give it some extra wave.
Makeup is close to my normal everyday look, except I go a little darker on my eyes. It’s the first time Aaron will see me really made-up in the way I prefer, and the thought sends a thrill through me.
I looked beautiful on our wedding day, but that doesn’t count because it was someone else doing my hair and makeup, someone else who selected my dress. Tonight, it’s my personality shining through.
Satisfied with the results, I give my hair one final fluff and grab my clutch. Aaron’s in the kitchen, just sitting at the table and staring out the window. When I enter, his eyebrows rise, soon followed by his body from his seat.
He meets me in front of the table and takes my hand. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks.” My face warms. It’s the reaction I hoped for.
“I called a cab.”
“You called a cab?”
“Yeah. With the phone in the living room.”
I know about it. We agreed in our contracts that we wouldn’t use it to make personal calls. It’s only for emergencies, getting in touch with production, and if we want to order delivery.
“But why?” I ask. “Our cars are here.”
“That’s why.” He nods at the front window.
There’s a production van parked in the driveway, near our cars.
I squint at the van. Two of the production assistants, neither one of them Luzia, sit in the front seats. They don’t appear to be doing anything in particular.
“What are they here for?” I ask.
Aaron shrugs. “Could be, they’re waiting to be picked up or go to the production studio or something. I don’t know, but it would be nice to not worry about them telling on us.”
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