Help Me!
Page 31
Acknowledgements
Mum just called me.
‘I’ve been thinking . . .’ she said.
‘OK,’ I said.
‘About your book,’ she said.
‘Yes.’
‘Please don’t write five pages of thank yous. I’m fed up of all these gushing acknowledgements at the end of books. Anyone would think they’d prevented war the way they go on, instead of writing something that nobody is going to read.’
I decided to skip over the implication that nobody was going to read this book.
‘So you don’t want me to thank you, then?’ I ask.
‘No, because then you’d have to thank your sisters and your friends and your aunts and your uncles and where does it end? Before you know it, you’re thanking the dog.’
‘We don’t have a dog,’ I say.
‘You know what I mean, Marianne.’
‘So what should I say?’
‘Just say thank you to your friends and family and leave it at that. No names.’
OK. So thank you to my friends and family. No names but I hope you know who you are. Thank you for putting up with me, and in some cases, putting me up. This book would not exist without you.
Thank you too to the wonderful readers who cheered me on as I blogged about this experiment and to the strangers with whom I had the perfect conversations at the perfect time. Thank you to everybody who helped turn my story into a real-life book.
Thank you also to the dog.
But extra-special thanks to my mum.
Author’s Note
Writing about yourself is a tricky thing. While I seem to have little problem with spilling my guts to the world (it’s surprised me more than anyone) – I am very aware that most people do not feel the same way and to that end I have changed names and identifying details of some of the people in this book.
I had many friends cheering me on (and tolerating me) during my year (and a bit) of self-help and to keep things simple, the friend characters in the book are composites.
I have also changed the order of some events, in the name of (I hope) good story-telling.
That said, every crazy, stupid, naked, embarrassing incident that I describe putting myself through was real and true. I jumped out of the plane. Did stand-up. Chatted up The Greek. Stood up in front of a conference room of business people and asked for a date.
I even thought for a short but agonizing time that I was going to audition for X Factor.
As for Mum – I could not have made up, or improved, her effortless one-liners if I tried.
Marianne Power is a writer and journalist who lives in London Help Me! is her first book.
First published 2018 by Macmillan
This electronic edition published 2018 by Picador
an imprint of Pan Macmillan
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Associated companies throughout the world
www.panmacmillan.com
ISBN 978-1-5098-8854-2
Copyright © Marianne Power 2018
Cover design and illustration by Mel Four, Picador art department
Author photo © Mat Smith Photography
The right of Marianne Power to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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