“Are you okay, mate?” he asked as he picked up a few items from the bench and approached his old friend.
“I'm thinking about all the points in my life where I made the wrong decision,” Pacian answered quietly.
“That's kind of deep. Is this really the time?”
“I'd like to have my head in the right place before we get on with this,” Pacian explained. “You know, it’s one thing to blame your failings as a person on circumstances, and quite another to realise you have complete control over your own life and everything that's ever happened is the result of your own decisions.”
“What does that mean?” Aiden asked, pulling up a chair and looking at him with concern.
“It means I've decided to take responsibility for my actions for the first time in my life,” Pacian declared with soft authority. “All of it. Nobody made me who I am, except me.”
“I assume you had some help drawing this conclusion,” Aiden remarked. “I'm guessing someone told you what you needed to hear. The shocking thing is, you listened.”
“You wouldn't think you'd doubt the advice of a higher power like the one we just met, but I reacted with anger when he imparted his wisdom. I had to think about it a bit before it started to make sense. One day I might tell you just how hard that was. Short answer, I've decided who and what I want to be.”
“And that is?”
“A decent man,” Pacian answered simply.
“You know, I'd pay real money to find out what you saw through the portal.”
“I'm still trying to wrap my head around it,” Pacian confessed. “When I understand it, I'll let you know.”
“Fair enough,” Aiden said, starting to understand the reasons none of them would speak about their experience. It was simply too difficult to explain with mere words. “What's up with Nel?”
“What do you mean?”
“She looks the same, she moves the same, but there's something different about her,” Aiden clarified. “There's a certain indefinable quality that's changed. I mean, Sy's glowing like the sun, you're starting to talk sense for the first time in forever, so what happened to Nel?
“She's an angel,” Pacian answered simply.
“We knew that already. Putting up with you all this time will likely get her nominated for sainthood.”
“I mean it literally,” Pacian growled. “It's a special gift from her father apparently, or at least the closest thing she has to one. Ascendance. The real deal.” Aiden was taken aback at this revelation and leaned back in his chair to take it all in.
“You look how I feel,” Pacian remarked with a wry grin. “The Church is going to be in for a shock when we get back. Nel will take charge and be the living embodiment of the heavens upon the earth. The bureaucrats and politicians in the hierarchy won't know what hit them. Maybe she can turn the place into what it should have been from the beginning, who knows.”
“Maybe, but we've quite a task before us to deal with first,” Aiden sighed. “Are you up for it?”
“I think so.”
“Know so,” Aiden advised, holding up a pair of bracers retrieved from Placidus. “We can't go into this doubting ourselves or we're doomed before we start.” Pacian seemed to consider this for a moment, and then his entire body shifted slightly, reflecting an internal decision which changed his appearance in subtle ways. When he spoke, it was with calm assurance, something Aiden hadn't heard since before Pacian's duel with Colt back at Bracksford.
“I want to be strong,” he affirmed. “I want to stand for something honourable for a change. I want to protect the people I cherish and above all, I want to put the past behind me and move forward anew.”
“Then do so,” Aiden answered simply, dropping the bracers into Pacian's hands.
“What are these for?”
“Speed,” Aiden said with a wink.
“I can do speed,” Pacian remarked, clasping them to his wrists and testing the weight.
“Great. Now that you've made some personal growth, come break into this cabinet for me.”
“Wait, what?” Pacian blurted.
“I need to see what's in there,” Aiden explained. You're not the only one receiving advice from an unusual source today.” Pacian gave him a searching look then sighed in resignation.
“Why don't you just get Terinus to open it? It's his cabinet.”
“I suspect he may not want to show me what's inside,” Aiden confided, “and I don't want to arouse suspicion.” Pacian reached into his pouch and withdrew his lock picks, keeping his gaze upon the black-robed wizard across the room. Terinus seemed entirely absorbed with his calculations, so Pacian crept towards the nearby cabinet, his feet making no sound upon the flagstones.
Aiden interposed himself between the two men, providing cover for Pacian to work. There was something familiar about this, a feeling he'd done this before long ago, yet he couldn't recall any specific memory. Given their history, it was likely Aiden helped his friend in this manner at some point in the past. The subtle clicking of the lock was barely audible as Pacian worked, and within moments the sound stopped.
“Done,” Pacian whispered, evidently having lost none of his skill during his time at the monastery. Aiden casually turned around to face him and watched as the door opened on silent hinges. Pacian peered inside and judging by his blank expression, had no idea what he was looking at. Unable to see inside from his angle, Aiden glanced behind him to ensure Terinus was still preoccupied, then moved to look into the cabinet.
There were small glass vials arranged upon the shelves within, each of them no larger than a thumb. Labels on each vial featured scrawled handwriting in what Aiden recognised as the elvish language — quite probably Terinus' own writing. Aiden wasn't well versed in the language and was unable to translate it for the most part, but a few of the more obvious words stuck out.
“What is all this?” Pacian asked in a whisper.
“Something dangerous,” Aiden warned in equally hushed tones. “This symbol means 'hazard' in elvish, that much I know.
“You shouldn't be in there,” Terinus interrupted, uncomfortably close. Aiden whirled around and saw the wizard standing right next to him, his ancient eyes glaring with mistrust. “That cabinet was locked for a reason.”
“Because it's full of poison?” Aiden asked pointedly.
“Precisely,” Terinus rasped, shoving him aside and slamming the door closed. Undeterred, Aiden thought quickly and asked a question he hoped would yield some interesting results.
“What does all of that have to do with Saffron and Lucas?” The two raelani servants immediately paused in their duties and looked over in confusion.
“I never mentioned them,” Terinus replied with only the slightest hesitation. He was well-practiced in lying, but Aiden had him this time.
“The correct answer would have been 'nothing, why do you ask?'” he purred. “There is a connection, isn't there?”
“This cabinet contains toxins so potent a single drop could kill everyone in this room,” Terinus rasped with exaggerated emphasis. “They are not to be played with nor argued over.”
“'ang on a minute mate,” Lucas protested. “What's this got to do with us?”
“He invoked your names, not I,” Terinus responded. “Attend your duties.”
“In my dream I saw a line of blood coming from this cabinet,” Aiden persisted, “and the blood led directly to both of you.”
“That was a dream, Aiden,” Saffron pointed out. “More than that, it was some kind of twisted version of reality projected into your mind. It was probably nothin’.”
“No, all the images, no matter how distorted, had some relation to the people I saw,” Aiden retorted. “It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out — this 'poison' is the one unleashed on your people, Saffron, and it has been sitting in this laboratory for decades.”
“You wot?” Lucas blurted. “Is this true? You better tell me you ‘ad nothin' to do with it, or I'll 'ave you mate.�
� Terinus remained silent for a moment of contemplation, then answered in a heavy voice.
“It was my fond hope this would never come out, but I have grown weary of keeping this secret.”
“You prick,” Lucas breathed in sudden anger. “You did it, didn't you! Murdered thousands of my people in some kinda monstrous experiment, and then brought Saffy and me back 'ere to be your servants? What kind of sick bastard are you?”
“I created the toxin many years ago,” Terinus confessed. “It is distilled from a rare flower in my homeland. When my 'service' to the sa'quaarin began, it fell into their possession and they saw its potential. You know of their vested interest in keeping the population of Feydwiir under control through nefarious means, and ever have they been seeking more efficient ways of achieving this.”
“They released it, not you,” Aiden surmised.
“It was a test,” the wizard answered simply. “They concentrated the properties of the toxin many hundreds of times, and it worked better than they ever dreamed. Thousands died in a matter of days, far more than anticipated. Too many, as it happened, for they prefer more precise measures. When I learned my poison had been unleashed without my consent, I rushed to the scene in an effort to counteract the poison.”
“You ‘ad the antidote?” Saffron asked.
“Of course. The toxin had been modified, so I had to work hard to alter the antidote to match. I brought twenty-four men and women here so I could perfect the cure. Regrettably, only two survived.
“Us,” Lucas muttered.
“By the time the cure was ready, it was too late. I returned to a scene of terrible loss and a figure reminiscent of death hovering over the dead. I claim responsibility for the demise of countless men and women over the years through war and other means, but the loss of ten thousand raelani in a matter of days is the blackest stain on my soul.”
“I notice you've kept the poison,” Aiden remarked after everyone took a few moments for the story to sink in.
“A minute dose of my original formula,” Terinus conceded as he opened the cabinet's door once again. “Kept for reasons beyond my conscious understanding. Perhaps it will be of some use in the coming hours.” He plucked the small vial from its shelf and carefully placed it into a pouch on his belt. Nellise, Sayana and Robert, all fully equipped returned to the laboratory, having missed the drama of the moment. Terinus turned to address Saffron and Lucas.
“You have both been silent, which does not surprise me in the least. Before you say anything, there is one other matter of relevance. I see my associates are ready to depart, and so I must ask you to see the tower is evacuated once we have left. Everyone must leave — the remaining escardi, and both of you.”
“We'll be dead within minutes,” Saffron protested. “You know the only thing keeping the toxin at bay is the magic of this place.”
“Wait, we're missing something,” Lucas interrupted thoughtfully. “The cure, you said you cured this bloody thing years ago.”
“Correct, though I did not share the fact before now,” Terinus rasped.
“Are you saying we're not going to die?” Saffron blurted in disbelief.
“Not only that, you were cured a long time ago,” Aiden pointed out to the incredulity of the two raelani.
“You've kept us ‘ere for 'ow long?” Lucas erupted, his wobbly legs suddenly barely able to keep him standing.
“My work in finding the cure for the toxin was secret, even from my masters,” Terinus explained. “Had you returned to your homes, they would have discovered my treason. I may have been punished, but you would most certainly have been killed. The knowledge of the true cause of the 'plague' had to remain secret at all costs. They may have even discovered my long-term intentions of foiling their plans, had they reason to suspect my duplicity.”
“’ow many bloody decades were we forced to work here?” Lucas shouted. Saffron remained silent at the sudden revelation.
“It no longer matters,” Terinus suggested. “Within hours, we will either have vanquished our enemies, or fallen in the attempt. You are free to leave. I wish things could have gone differently, but at least you have your health and the rest of your natural lives together. There are extensive treasures to be found in my chambers. They are yours to keep. Spend wisely.”
“After years of being imprisoned ‘ere, we can finally leave,” Saffron whispered, daring to believe her life was about to abruptly change. “We can travel!” She turned to Lucas who was conflicted between outrage and the knowledge he and his wife were suddenly rich. “We can have the family we always wanted.”
“Ah, well, 'ang on a minute luv, let's not go overboard,” Lucas hedged.
“Lucas, we just spent several lifetimes cleaning up after a monster,” Saffron interrupted. “I want a normal life, and I want children.”
“You two can discuss this later,” Nellise chimed in. “Grab what you can and leave immediately.”
“Too bloody right we will,” Lucas crowed, grabbing Saffron's hand and running out into the hall with a joyous squeal.
“Well, that break-in paid off for someone,” Pacian remarked almost to himself.
I have informed the remaining escardi of the situation, Sayana informed the others. They are already moving to the exit.
“I shall open the way for them,” Terinus declared, heading for the door with his staff clicking on the floor with each step. The towering men and women of the escardi were already marching past the lab, helping each other where needed. This group had been the most wounded of the refugees and had remained behind to further mend their injuries but could no longer remain in the tower.
Several looked into the lab at Aiden's assembled companions, speaking words of thanks which Sayana translated for them. Their Marshal, Jenovia, walked into the room and enclosed Nellise in a crushing hug, oblivious to the heavy armour the cleric wore.
“That's quite alright,” Nellise murmured with a smile.
“I was told of your actions holding off the saerid,” Jenovia said. “We owe all of you our lives. One day, we will repay your people in kind. For now, take this.” She offered her arbalest to Nellise, who inspected the massive weapon dubiously.”
“This isn't really my preferred weapon anymore,” the cleric remarked, almost handing it back before something occurred to her. “Wait, I think I can put this to good use, actually. Thank you.”
“It has served my people for generations, and will not fail you,” Jenovia added. “I would join you if not for my responsibilities to my people. Farewell to you all, and good fortune in your confrontation.”
The last of the escardi filed past, Nellise turned away from the laboratory door, and Saffron poked her head in for a brief word.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” she called, tossing a bag of rattling ingredients to a surprised Nellise. “The last of me ‘ealing kit. I made a batch of potions in case of an emergency. You'll probably ‘ave more need of it than we.”
“Thank you both,” Nellise replied as Lucas, bearing a dozen or more golden jewels draped around his neck, darted past with a wink.
“Time to go. Good luck!” Saffron said as she hurried after her husband.
“Alright, that's quite enough of the chatter,” Robert grumbled as he secured the last of his equipment. “Let's focus on the task at hand. We all remember the last time we ran into these demon things, right?”
“Vividly,” Nellise responded.
“Right, well, Sy has a few surprises for them this time, and we've been talking tactics.” Robert continued to speak about his one true love — strategy — while Aiden zoned out a little. He listened to the mercenary's words in the corner of his mind, but found his thoughts drifting to images of Criosa.
He was overcome with a powerful desire to look upon her face one more time but quickly suppressed the feeling. Though inspired to do what he could to save her and this kingdom they both cherished, he could not allow his feelings to interfere with carrying through the impending challenge.
Around him the mixed voices of his companions chattered away, voicing their concerns and plans for the impending battle. Terinus returned to the lab and headed directly for the console, checking the controls to make sure all was in order.
Pangs of regret flooded Aiden's mind as he thought back to the first meeting of their little group, years ago. Sayana had been a starving waif, barely able to generate any sorcery yet possessed of the courage to face off against thugs and bandits to save others. Nellise was a naive young acolyte, trying to help the locals but stepping in way over her head in the process.
Pacian had once been carefree despite his troubles, until they overwhelmed him in the worst possible way, and Robert had been a fierce opponent before they defeated him in the Battle of Culdeny. They had come so far and been changed immeasurably along the way.
“Terinus, have you any indication an attack from your masters is imminent?” Aiden asked the wizard.
“To the best of my knowledge, the skies remain clear and the sa'quaarin are yet to show their intentions,” he rasped. “How long this situation continues is unknown.”
“For whatever reason, we've been given some time to act and we shouldn't squander it, but there's something I'd like to say very quickly.”
“Doesn't matter how fast you talk,” Robert pointed out as he shouldered his pack, “you're still squandering.”
“Look,” Aiden continued with a long-suffering glace at the mercenary, “we've all sacrificed to reach this point. Not one of us can say we're unscathed by the events of the past few years. I'm certainly not the man I used to be,” he added, glancing down at his clawed appendage. “I've done things I'm not proud of, killed and ordered others to kill in my name. I'm not proud of any of it. Maybe I could have done things differently, maybe I never had a choice in the matter, but either way I'm not going to shirk any responsibilities for it.”
“We've all come a long way and here we stand, together one more time. Although we agreed to go through with this, none of us asked for the responsibility we now bear. For centuries, these monsters have cast their long shadow over the races of Feydwiir. Greater minds than ours have tried to rid the world of their influence and all of them have failed. But after each attempt, they left a little piece behind for others to find when the time was right. Those pieces have come together here and now.”
Soldiers of the Heavens Page 25