by Marlie May
“Fuck, Mia,” Eli said when I’d finished, his hands bunching up my blanket. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me, too. But it’s over.”
For the first time in a long time, the solid mass of fear no longer coiled in my belly. Maybe I was putting it behind me. Finally.
Now that my nightmare had retreated to the shadowy corners of my mind, I couldn’t help noticing Eli’s bare chest, the rippled expanse of skin above his low-slung jeans. His warm thumbs stroking my bare arms. I’d have to be dead not to feel the heat of his presence beside me. I couldn’t drag my gaze away from his pecs, his washboard abs.
“You work out a lot,” blurted from my lips.
Great. Way to embarrass myself.
His lips briefly flicked up, and his voice grew husky. “I like to stay in shape.”
My fingers took charge, touching his skin. Gliding along his shoulders to his pecs. Warm. Smooth. He had a chest a woman could rest her head on while his strong arms held her close.
I wanted this. Wanted him. But I was scared. My breath caught, and I jerked my hands back. “Sorry. Boundaries seem to be eluding me tonight.”
“Not bothering me a bit. You can touch me anytime you’d like.”
His comments were suggestive. And though I ached to take him up on his offer, my hands still shook. I stuffed them underneath the covers before they discovered more uncharted territory. Bad enough I wanted to touch him everywhere.
Taste him.
As heat rose inside me, shoving aside the lingering dream spell that sought to haunt me, I gulped. “I’m sorry. I…”
“It’s okay.” He stood and backed toward the door, taking his comfort, his alluring body, and presence away from me. “I get it. You already made it clear you’re not interested in—”
“I didn’t, well, what I said back then wasn’t exactly true.”
His head tilted, and he studied my face as if it was vital he read my mind from my expression. “Then what is the truth?”
“I wasn’t honest with you in California and now you know why.”
He stalked back to me and knelt on the edge of my bed. When he lifted a section of my hair, the curls entwined around his fingers as if they intended to hold him close and never let him go. “I have no problem taking this slow, Mia, but I want you. Everything you’re willing to give me.”
I gaped up at him. “What are you saying?” I ached for him to make his intentions perfectly clear.
“That I’m here for you. As a friend, if that’s all you need. Or…” He braced his arms on either side of me, pinning my pillow to my headboard behind me. His face…His lips. If I inched closer, we’d connect. And fire would flare between us like it hadn’t with any other man before. I knew it. “I’m a patient man, honey, but if you’re never going to want me, you should tell me right now.”
I did want him. No denying the fact. But I…
Eli is not Russell.
Everything inside me demanded I grab onto him. Cling. But I needed to feel strong about myself, about who I could offer the next man I let into my life.
Right guy. Questionable time.
But I’d be a fool to let him go.
“Can we take it slowly?” I asked. “More than once over the past eight months, I’ve wished I’d taken you up on your offer.”
“Cool.” His lips curved up on one side. “So, you’re saying this is almost a yes?”
I swallowed. “It’s a full yes.”
He leaned in and, when he kissed my cheek, he bestowed a promise. “Then you tell me what you’re ready for and when you’re ready for it. I’ll be waiting.” His warm brown gaze drifted down and he traced his fingertip on the pendant I wore. Always wore.
The one he’d given me.
“I like seeing you wearing this,” he said in a voice scratchy with emotion.
“I…Eight months ago—”
“Your ex.”
“I should’ve told you what happened.” But the trial had only ended four months prior, and I’d been an emotional wreck.
“Why would you want to share anything like that? Don’t blame you for keeping it inside.”
“I’m not ashamed.” Not all the time, anyway. “But it hadn’t been long. I wasn’t ready.”
“It’s been…”
“A year now since he was incarcerated. He won’t be out for another year yet.”
He growled. “You think it’s okay if I tell you—since you’re a doctor and all—that I’d be happy to kill him if he comes near you again?”
I shouldn’t be thrilled by his gravelly voice speaking about committing violence on my behalf, but I couldn’t hold back the bolt of excitement running through me. Was it wrong of me to want revenge?
He stroked the hair off my face, and his rough palm trailed down to my shoulder.
Mesmerized by his nearness, I couldn’t speak, but I nodded as if to say, sure, go ahead and kill Russell.
His fingers teased along my jawline. “I’m sorry about the circumstances that brought me here tonight, but I’m an honest enough man to admit I’m glad we’ve had a chance to talk.”
“Me, too.”
“And, on that note, I’ll return to guard duty on the sofa, because you need to get some sleep and I…” Backing away, he left the thought unfinished and turned toward the door, saying over his shoulder fiercely, “You need me, even if it’s just to hold your hand? Call and I’m here.”
“Thank you,” I said as he strode through the doorway.
“Anytime.”
I waited until I heard my sofa creak as he settled his tall form. The rustle of the quilt I’d made as he tugged up over his body.
Until I could swear his breathing slow, indicating he drifted to sleep.
Only then did I snuggle back underneath my covers and close my eyes. And dream of a future that was no longer scary.
I woke to hints of coffee and bacon drifting in the air. And the sound of chirpy voices singing.
What an odd combination.
After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower and dressing, I walked into my kitchen.
“Have a seat, and I’ll bring you a cup of steaming heaven,” Eli said without even turning. Working at the stove, he flicked a spatula through the air in time with the music. His broad, muscular back and jean-clad hips swayed in time with the tune coming from his cell phone sitting on the counter. “Cream or sugar?”
“How did you know it was me coming into the kitchen?” I said with a smile. “And neither.”
Turning, he grinned as if that was the only answer I needed. He poured a cup of coffee from the French press I kept for special occasions and sashayed it over to the table to place it in front of me, all while whistling along with a girl singing about how she wanted something more than a provincial life. “Knew you weren’t Walter, and I just…know when you’re near,” he said as he twirled back toward the stove.
Really, he twirled. Surprisingly graceful despite his limp.
“I could’ve been…I don’t know, someone creeping up on you.”
“Honey, you’re welcome to creep up on me any old time.” Lifting the spatula, he stirred something cooking in my big old cast iron skillet. The one I normally used to roast vegetables in the oven.
In addition to dance, he must’ve studied voice, because now he was singing in a deep, satisfying baritone about how the girl didn’t shudder at someone’s paw.
Wait. Paw?
“What are you listening to?” I asked with a shake of my head.
Stepping around Walter, who sat on the floor beside the stove staring up at Eli as if his life would be complete as long as Eli dropped a pound of bacon on the floor, he turned down the volume on his phone.
“Beauty and the Beast,” Eli said in the lull that followed. “You like it.” Said as if it was a widely-accepted fact.
“What is it?”
He gasped in mock horror, holding the spatula to his chest—right over his heart. “Please tell me you’ve seen Beauty and the B
east.”
“Haven’t.” I frowned. “I’ve heard of the kid’s movie, but…music?”
“Beauty and the Beast is one of the best musicals of all time. It ranks right up there with the Lion King.”
“The Lion King,” I repeated as if that would help me better understand. I took a quick sip of my coffee, savoring the rich flavors gliding down my throat. My stomach rumbled, telling me it was eager for whatever lovely smelling thing Eli was cooking.
“I can’t believe you’ve missed out on everything Disney,” he said in complete dismay. His mop of dirty blond hair shifted along his neck when he shook his head.
“The parks in Florida and California?”
“Ah, then you’ve been there, at least.”
“Nope.” Drinking more coffee, I sighed at how fantastic it tasted. “My parents couldn’t afford anything like that when I was growing up. And even if they could’ve taken me when I got older, I was too busy with AP classes in high school then graduating with my degree in biochemistry early. After that, medical school.”
He huffed, though I could tell by the way his eyes gleamed it wasn’t in irritation. “It’s clear your real education is sorely lacking.”
I chuckled, because, really, how could he say that? “I guess?”
“I assume, then, that you haven’t even been to the local Disney equivalent, either, which is just the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”
I cocked my head, squinting at him. No contacts made him blurry. And even cuter, if that was possible. I slid on my glasses I’d left on the table yesterday so I wouldn’t miss a single expression on his face. “Disney opened an amusement park in Crescent Cove?”
“Nah.” After dishing up from the skillet, he placed a heaping platter of scrambled eggs, hash browns, and bacon on the table between us. Enough food to satisfy seventeen hungry lumberjacks.
“You don’t expect me to eat much of that, do you?”
“’Course not,” he said, scooping about half the contents onto his plate. He glanced up, his eyes deep, dark chocolate. “You share…don’t you?”
Simple question, but the look in his eyes—okay, the suggestive look in his eyes—said our conversation meant two different things, the simple bit on the surface and something deeper I’d yet to discover. I’d need to be on my toes to keep up with this guy. “Yes,” I said slowly.
“Eggs are good for you.” He shoveled in a big bite. After swallowing, he added, “And everyone knows bacon’s a food group all by itself.”
“Bacon increases your risk of heart disease.”
He smacked his palm on his chest. “No need to worry. My heart’s already secure.”
Was there a double meaning here? And, if so, who held his heart? “Something you need to tell me?”
He grinned and stuffed two slices of bacon into his mouth. Chewing, he closed his eyes and hummed before focusing his now smoldering attention on me. “All in good time, honey.”
I shouldn’t be turned on by a silly endearment, but I was.
“Why keep a pound of bacon in your fridge if you’re worried about heart disease?” he asked.
“It’s for emergencies.”
“Bacon emergencies?”
“So, I’ve got a weakness. That a problem?” I grumbled good-naturedly. It was impossible to be irritated with Eli when he flirted. Or any other time, for that matter.
His gaze honed in on my lips where I licked off the smoky, salty flavors. “Any other weaknesses?”
Him. Definitely him. But I would not admit it. Yet.
He ate another forkful.
“Since it’s clear you work out more than me,” I said. “You can handle a little bacon.” Was it wrong of me to want to touch his shoulders, test those muscles that flexed as he ate?
“Sorry I’m not wearing a shirt.”
“Not bothering me.” At all.
We skated around something wonderful. Like ice dancers swirling in an opposite circle before moving closer. Almost touching before gliding apart again.
I ached to fling back my chair, leap across the table, and climb all over him. Maybe lick the U.S. Navy tattoo emblazoned on his right pectoralis major. Never wanted to run my tongue along anyone’s pec before.
“Eat up, honey,” he said, his eyes shining as if he knew exactly what I was thinking and welcomed the idea. “We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”
“I know what’s on my agenda, but what’s on yours?”
He nudged his head toward his phone. “Already been in touch with Flint and, other than some brief work in the shop, I’m now completely yours.”
I lifted my eyebrows and my words tumbled out, “In what way?”
His chuckle rang between us. “Any way you want but let’s start with security. My exclusive bodyguard service, that is.” He gave me a neat bow.
Knowing someone would have to find their way past Eli to get to me dropped my fear-level a thousand degrees.
He waved his empty fork around. “After going to the shop for supplies, we’ll return here to install a security system that’ll make you feel safer than the King Tut Exhibit.”
“We?”
“Not leaving you alone for a second.”
“I have work to do today.” I needed to finish putting together my presentation for my conference.
“You do your work, and I’ll do mine. Jax will help with the install.”
I should’ve considered a security system the moment I bought my house. “Okay.”
“Can you get your work done this morning and leave your late afternoon and into the evening free for me?”
“Why?”
“We need to continue your education.”
I blinked while heat flashed from my skin to my core.
“Mia?” he murmured, his lips curling up as if he knew my every secret thought.
“Yeah?” Okay, so I sounded dopey, but jeez. When a hot guy teased and flirted and essentially said he was yours for the taking, what else could a girl do? I wasn’t sure my heart could stand it, but I’d sure as hell try to keep up.
“Finish your breakfast, and we’ll get going. Later on, I’d like to spend some time together. Assuming that’s okay with you.”
“I’d really like that.” Unable to help myself, I licked my lips as my gaze drifted down his chest to the beginning of his washboard abs showing above the table.
He was right. I did need a little education.
8
Eli
I’d laid awake a long time after returning to the sofa. Not just because it was uncomfortable—a six-four man did not sleep well on any living room furniture.
It wasn’t because I had to keep my jeans on—though I didn’t want to shock Mia.
Or because she wore my pendant, which about made me want to leap through the roof.
Her essentially saying she’d been thinking about me as often as I’d been thinking about her had also thrilled me to my core.
I’d remained awake because I kept thinking about her ex, what he’d done to her. What I wanted to do to him in retaliation. If the guy wasn’t already in jail, I’d have no hesitation committing violence.
I wanted to hold her. Tell her I’d make sure no one ever harmed her again.
But she wasn’t mine. She’d never be mine even if we ended up together. She’d always belong to herself. To feel whole again, to welcome me if that was what she desired, she’d have to rediscover the strength she kept hidden inside, not take it from my offering arms.
I rose by five and got in touch with Flint. He’d roared through the phone when I told him what happened last night. He told me to forget about the shop once I’d finished tweaking a small project. Mia would be my sole priority. I was to install a security system worthy of the leader of a first world country. Stay by her side until the cops figured this out.
Which fit in with the plans I’d already formulated in my mind. No way would I leave her to face this alone.
While Mia went to her study to get started on her work, I cl
eaned up after breakfast, washing, drying, and putting everything away. All while singing along with the Little Mermaid. Man, I loved this music. If I ever had a kid, they’d know every single word to these songs. We’d sing them in the car when we went for ice cream or on a trip. In the shower or bath. And I’d save up. Take him or her to Disney, where we would jump on every ride and get every character to sign our autograph books. We’d even dress up in costumes.
I favored a pirate for myself but if a daughter wanted me in princess gear…
“Getting ahead of yourself,” I said softly as I tucked the cast iron skillet into the drawer where I’d found it. “No girlfriend, let alone a wife. No kids in your foreseeable future. Take this one step at a time.”
“Come with me to the shop?” I asked in the doorway of Mia’s study after leaving the kitchen. “I know you have work to do but maybe you can bring it with you?” I couldn’t leave her here by herself until I knew she was locked behind a fortress.
“I can finish these notes and hang out with Aunt Becca.” She stood and stretched. Yeah, I watched. Couldn’t help it. I’d be a saint not to admit that I lusted after each and every one of her lush curves. And her freckles…I’d die a happy man if I could trace my fingertips across them. Lick them. “Perhaps I can help you pick out tools and materials out back. I’d love to know what goes on in Flint’s shop,” she said with a soft smile as I opened the front door.
A reminder never to underestimate this woman’s curiosity.
Outside, I scanned the vicinity to ensure everything appeared as it should then gestured for her to step onto the porch ahead of me while clicking on my fob to unlock my Jeep doors. “While I appreciate your offer, I’ll gather the tools and materials after I finish my own small project.”
Her brow furrowed, and she locked her front door and pocketed the key. “Darn. One of these days, I’m going to find out what you guys are doing for real. Kiddie drones, my ass.”
Chuckling, I waved to my vehicle while studying the road, the neighbor’s houses. The trees. Nothing. No movement. I wouldn’t let down my guard. Opening the passenger door, I waved to the seat. “Hop in.”