She quickly looked away and said only in passing, “It takes a lot of upper and lower body strength to ride a bull.” I wanted to point out it was not what I asked her. But, I decided to talk to Tennyson and leave Amylia to concentrate on her riding.
I was asleep when he got home and woke up to an empty bed. I was beyond frustrated and dreaded spending the day with my parents. I took an extra amount of time getting ready and made sure I looked as perfect as possible before heading out to find my elusive fiancé.
I ran into Miriam, and she smiled, "Are you excited for your parents to arrive?"
I nodded and asked, “Have you seen Tenn?”
"He was working on some gear by his trailer; I'm not sure if he's still there."
I headed outside and felt the cold air of winter, so I pulled my sweater tighter against my body. Tennyson came walking around the corner of the barn, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of his beautiful face.
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I smiled.
"I'm sorry to leave the bed so early; I wanted to get some stuff done before your parents arrive." He wrapped his arms around me, and I snuggled close to his warm chest.
"We should have canceled," I said. "You're too busy right now."
"No, I want to meet them, I think I will have a lot in common with your father," he said in passing and led me toward the house.
I felt sick inside. I had vowed never to end up with a man like my father. My mother lived to serve him, and I wanted a life that was my own. Now I was living with a man I never saw, who became sick at the thought of my friends and isolated from every accomplishment I had made.
“Are you okay?” Tennyson asked.
"Sure," I nodded and gave the best fake smile I could manage.
Chapter 19
A bell went off at the front gate, and Merritt hit the button to let them open. Tennyson and I stood on the front porch to greet my parents. My father was a handsome man, tall, and dark, with an air of authority. My mother was small and a bit timid. She kept her body in shape, at the insistence of my father, and could still turn some heads.
I stepped forward and hugged them both before introducing them to Tennyson. My father shook his hand and eyed him up and down.
"I'm honored you came all this way," Tennyson said, and my mother smiled lovingly at him.
"Well, we just had to meet the man foolish enough to want to marry Jules," my father said with a laugh, and I noticed how Tennyson tensed. My father felt his humor was his biggest asset, but I knew Tenn would not find teasing me appropriate coming from my father or anyone else.
“I’m lucky she agreed to take me,” Tennyson offered, and my father chuckled and rubbed his chin. “Please, come in,” Tennyson said, “I’ll have someone get your bags.”
We all went to a small parlor at the front of the house, and Miriam brought out coffee. "This taste wonderful, Mrs. Weller. I can tell Jules didn't make it; she's not too domesticated," my father said as he elbowed Tennyson.
I watched Tenn’s reaction and saw the familiar look of determination enter his eyes. “Do you ride, sir?” Tennyson asked my father.
“I’m more of a motorcycle man.”
“We have some quads, I would love to show you around the ranch,” Tennyson offered.
"Wonderful, it sounds like fun," my father said, and Tennyson lit up, feeling like he was doing something right to impress my parents. "The girls can wait here," Walter said, and Marilyn nodded.
“We have enough for everyone,” Tennyson informed him, but my dad shook his head.
"I don't know if I want to put my life at risk by having those two riding next to me. Jules is not the outdoors type."
“Tennyson bought me a horse,” I said to my father’s shocked face.
“I hope you kept the receipt,” Walter laughed loudly.
“She’s doing very well,” Tennyson said in my defense.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you find the thing dressed up in sequins as Jules tries to make a career of singing to the thing.”
I let my eyes drop, not wanting to see Tennyson’s reaction to the horrible things my father was saying about me. He never saw me as successful, only as uneducated and chasing a dream. Tennyson held out his hand for mine and squeezed it gently.
“Have you set a date?” my mother asked, after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
“We are thinking maybe Valentine’s Day,” I said softly.
“That doesn’t give you very much time,” my mother said in shock.
“We’ll keep it small,” I said.
“You can wear my dress, but what about bridesmaids?”
“I think Jules already has her eye on the perfect dress,” Tennyson said, and I smiled at him. He defended me and my decision not to wear my mother’s dress, even though he didn’t understand my reasoning.
Both of my parents laughed and shook their heads. “I hope it looks like a bridal gown and not some weird Hollywood thing,” my mother stated.
“And, you can have Tennyson’s sister stand up with you, not one of those fruity boys you hang with,” my dad added.
“Let me show you to your room,” Tennyson said as he stood, trying to contain his anger.
"We can stay with Jules," my father offered, "I'm sure these two will be up-all-night gabbing anyway."
“Well, Mr. Smith, that would be difficult, since Jules stays with me,” Tennyson announced, as he squared his shoulders.
I wanted to crawl under the coffee table and hide for a good six months. My father glared at me, and I looked down at my hands. “We didn’t bring her up that way,” Walter said as he faced Tennyson.
"And what does ‘that way' mean? Because Jules is a very loving, giving, loyal woman and I assumed she got those fabulous qualities from her parents."
“We taught her to respect herself, not jump in bed with men,” my dad clarified.
"You'll be happy to hear she informed me right from the start she would not be having sex with me," Tennyson said boldly. I noticed how he left out the fact he was the one who sent me away... without my underwear... only to show up at my hotel and have me jump him as he sat on the couch.
"Well, you still seem willing to marry her, so I guess we should consider ourselves lucky. Marilyn, you need to have a conversation with your daughter, see if you can talk some sense into her head."
"Jules is a very level-headed woman," Tennyson said, and I knew he was barely hanging onto his civility.
“You’ve been a good influence on her, son. At least you got her away from those fudge packers she feels like she needs to employ.”
I jumped up and headed out of the room, mumbling about checking on lunch, but running from anger. Tennyson ran after me and pulled me into the laundry room to hold me in his arms.
"Oh my God, Jules, is that how I sound? Am I that bigoted?"
I couldn't answer and continued to cling to him. I didn't want to compare him to my father, but there were times he was just as narrow-minded. I tried to find some inner strength and not fold into the little girl my parents always made me feel like I was.
“I’ll handle this,” Tennyson said softly.
“You can’t hit my father; he’d have you thrown in jail.”
“I’ll let nature give him a punch or two,” he chuckled, before heading back to the parlor.
I ran after him to see what he was planning, and Tennyson stood in the doorway and smiled at Marilyn, "Ma'am, why don't you let Jules show you her horse, and I'll take Mr. Smith out on the quads?"
I showed my mother to the barn as Tennyson and Walter walked off talking about gloves and warm riding clothes. I noticed Tennyson whisper to Amylia as my father walked toward a large garage. She smiled and headed to the house.
“Jules, your Tennyson is very good looking; do you worry about losing him?”
“Should I, mother?” I asked sarcastically.
“I’m sure that is why you are sleeping with him already,” my mom said, as she nodded h
er head.
“Mother, is dad seriously the only man you’ve had sex with?”
“We married very young,” she said, and I noticed how her eyes seemed to dart around.
“Come on, mom, dad is very good looking, surely you got a little hot for him before he proposed?” She walked away without answering, and I broke into laughter, "I knew it, and you want me to feel bad for loving Tennyson. You're both such hypocrites."
Amylia walked into the barn and saw us standing there fighting, so she said, "Let's go inside and get out of the cold. Bethany and Miriam would love to meet your mother."
We followed Amylia, without even looking at Pepper, and joined the other women around the table. Miriam served more coffee and cut up some pound cake.
“Jules is an amazing young woman,” Miriam said, causing me to blush.
"She's good for Tennyson," Bethany chimed into the conversation. "She has changed him so much."
“Nothing about Tennyson needs changing,” I added, “Well, maybe his homophobia.”
“Jules loves the gays,” my mom whispered to Amylia sitting next to her.
Amylia looked at me with raised eyebrows and jokingly whispered to my mom, “I’ve heard she turned several back to normal.”
“Really?” my mom asked Amylia.
“Oh yeah, nobody screws like Jules,” Amylia said, sending my mom flying back into her chair and away from the tiny woman.
I had to bite the side of my cheek to stop from laughing and luckily Miriam began asking about the drive. We chatted comfortably for a few moments until Bethany said, “Jules has been very good to my husband, Royal, since I’m not too accommodating of his needs right now.” She rubbed her large stomach lovingly.
“Royal is Tennyson’s brother, right?” My mother asked.
“Yes, but Jules treats them all the same, sometimes even at the same time,” Bethany added.
My mother was turning white, and I began to worry about her heart.
“Now, Bethany,” Amylia said, with her arms folded across her chest. “You know Morgan likes his alone time with Jules and not the orgies my brothers enjoy.”
“Morgan?” Marilyn asked.
“My fiancé. I don’t have sex with him, of course, so Jules does.”
My mother placed her hand over her mouth and slowly rose from her chair sending us all into hysterics. Miriam quickly went to my mother’s aid and helped her back into the chair. “I’m afraid we are only teasing you, Mrs. Smith,” she said, as she gently rubbed my mother’s arm.
I took my mother's hand and stared into her eyes, "But mom, it is how you make me feel. I love Tennyson and plan on spending my life with him. Our love is nothing sordid or nasty, can you understand?" I watched as tears filled her eyes and she smiled as she nodded to me. I threw my arms around her neck, "I love you, mom."
The day was turning out better than I thought. We all talked and laughed and prepared lunch, hoping the men would return soon. We heard the quads, and I ran to the window to see my father riding on the back of Tennyson's. He climbed off and came limping toward the house. I ran out the door in concern and glared at Tennyson.
"I'll be right in, take care of your father," he called to me, and I held out my hand, but Walter refused.
He limped his way into the house and sat in a chair with a grunt. “What happened, dad?”
"Nothing, I didn't know we would be traveling over such rough terrain. I didn't prepare."
“Are you hurt?” I asked, and he pushed me away in irritation. I went outside to confront Tennyson, hoping he didn’t purposely try to hurt my father. He was walking toward the house and shook his head at me. “What did you do?” I asked him.
"I used a lot of restraint; believe me. Did you know he ran a background check on me?"
"I'm sorry," I offered softly. "Did he… I mean, is there anything…"
“Drinking and fighting, but he would find that if he looked into any cowboy’s past,” Tennyson said angrily.
I looked at the ground in shame. I didn't want Tennyson dealing with all this drama before finals. He was busy, and the one day I got his attention was ruined by my parents. I took a deep breath and said, "Why don't I take my parents to my house, let you concentrate on what you need to be doing."
His eyes snapped over to mine, and he looked shocked. "Jules, I don't care what they think of me; I just can't stand the way they think about you. I'm not saving you; you are the one saving me."
I kicked a rock on the ground for a few seconds as I thought how I wanted to phrase what I needed to say. “I don’t mind you being so busy if you are not planning to ride Diablo. If you are, then you must be staying away from me on purpose.”
“On purpose?” he asked.
“Yeah, so I don’t become so…attached.”
Tennyson stared at me like I had lost my mind, but I realized he didn't refute my statement. I took a step away from him as I nodded in understanding. He removed his hat and ran his hand through his wild hair as he let out a rushed breath of air.
I let my hands fall in defeat against my legs and said, "Four more weeks, Tennyson. It's not enough for me to fill my heart with memories of you. I've been with you for two weeks now and I never even see you. I can't pretend to be planning a wedding when I'm expecting your funeral."
“Jules, I’m doing this the right way, so there won’t be a funeral,” he said with a frustrated voice.
“Doing what? I don’t even know what it is you are doing,” I cried.
“I can ride him if I switch hands, Jules. I’m learning to ride with my other hand.” He tried to sound confident, but I knew he was worried.
My mouth fell open, and I grabbed onto my heart as I leaned over in fear. "Tennyson, you don't have enough time to learn to ride differently. You can spend every moment until finals, and it still wouldn't be enough time."
"I know what I'm doing," he said emphatically. "I'm not learning how to ride; I'm learning to hold on with the opposite hand. I can confuse him if I have my riding hand opposite of my stronger leg.
“Where’s your compromise?” I asked him barely above a whisper.
“What?” he asked.
"I'm giving up so much for you. I hurt my best friend for you. I brought my parents to the middle of nowhere for you. I walked away from a starring role on Broadway for you. I'm feeling foolish right now."
“You wanted me to keep my title, remember?” he pointed out.
“I wanted you to fight through your fear to return to something you love. And you did, you got back on top, but I never wanted you to take on Diablo.”
He smacked his hat against his leg and turned his back to me. I headed into the house and saw everyone look around uncomfortably. I knew they were watching through the window. I sat next to my parents and took a long drink from my cup as we waited for Tennyson and Royal to join us all for lunch. Tennyson walked in and headed to the sink to wash his hands. I kept my eyes down, and the room remained quiet except for Merritt and my father talking about logging companies.
Royal interrupted when he came running into the room carrying a box. “Tennyson, it’s here. Let’s go try it out.”
Tennyson jumped up with a smile on his face and then froze. He sat back down and glanced at me before telling Royal he would do it later.
His sacrifice didn't please me because he looked disappointed. I glanced at Royal's angry face and asked, "What is it that arrived?"
"Oh, um… nothing, just a rope," he said and sat the box on the counter.
“Royal, sit so we can eat,” Miriam said to him, and he walked over to give Bethany a quick kiss before sitting down.
“I smell ham,” Royal said sniffing into the air, “Am I right?”
“I have a little game we can play,” I said with a fake smile. “It’s called, Guess what’s in the Box.”
The table grew silent, and everyone stared at Tennyson and me. I set my elbows on the table and leaned onto my chin as I stared across at Tenn. "I'll go first. I guess it's a Brazili
an bull rope, with a two inch off the center grip, and extra firm with absolutely no give. Who wants to go next?"
Royal's mouth fell open, and he stared at me with shock. "Are you psychic?" he asked.
“No, I’m just the girl who is so stupid she needs a horse for handicapped kids,” I said, as I walked from the room.
I headed into the stables and stood at Pepper’s stall. She came over and let me run my hand down the front of her face. I sighed loudly and leaned my head against the doorway of the stall. “How do I compete with the rodeo, Pepper?” I asked her. “How do I make him want to live for me and not for the next bull that comes along?”
The horse leaned her head against my shoulder and held perfectly still. I smiled at the gentleness of the enormous creature and wrapped my arms around her neck. I heard Tennyson's truck engine roar to life and then fade into the distance as I closed my eyes and cried.
Pepper let me hold onto her for strength until I felt the pain was all cried out. I opened the pen and pulled her into the open area of the stable. I had no idea how to put on a saddle or bridle, so I grabbed her by the neck over to the big barrel.
I climbed onto her back, holding on tightly to her long mane and gently kicked her. She sauntered forward, and I didn't bother trying to lead her. I allowed her to go wherever she wanted, praying she would keep the slow walking pace.
She headed down a trail into the tall trees, and I merely gave over my will to hers. She walked for over an hour, winding through the thick, dark forest until we came to a clearing. A large home stood in the middle of the freshly turned earth, and I knew it must be Royal and Bethany's. I could hear noise coming from the back and Pepper naturally headed to the commotion.
A small arena with two bucking chutes was full of cowboys sitting on the fence. I saw one chute open, and Tennyson came flying out on a bull. Everyone was cheering and yelling, and I noticed Royal on a horse, shouting instructions to Tennyson.
Pepper continued right up to an empty spot along the fence, and I saw Tennyson standing on the ground as the bull was loaded into the chute again. He climbed back into the hold and reset everything. "I'm gonna sit up straighter, see if there's a difference," Tennyson yelled to Royal.
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