“That doesn’t mean she should. Mom, please...”
The crutches banged on the floor again, her eyes flashing. “You’re ashamed of being a Hannah.”
“I’m not.”
“Then you’re ashamed of me.”
“I’m not,” Conner said through gritted teeth.
“So it’s the ranch.” His mother was so angry, she wobbled.
Conner didn’t argue. He got up and steadied her.
“I never should have transferred ownership to you,” she said with unusual bitterness.
“True. I brought us to the edge of ruin.” A position they teetered on today.
“You didn’t.” She pounded her crutch on the floor as if stomping a foot. “I asked too much of you. You were eighteen and had never balanced a checking account. I should have figured out a way to stay the course while I recovered.”
“Now, that’s asking too much of you.” She’d spent weeks in the hospital and then weeks at home in bed, relearning to walk.
“Big E would have helped me. Or the Taylors.” She pounded the floor with her crutch once more.
“For the love of Mike, sit down before you ruin the last decent chunk of floor.” Conner helped her into a kitchen chair. “You aren’t supposed to have regrets. You chose to focus on getting well. I don’t begrudge you giving me the reins so you could do that.” She’d given him so much in life. Long after the Rocking H passed hands, they’d still have each other.
“You chose to focus on getting well after Parsnip sent you into that railing.” His mother’s breath was ragged, her cheeks mottled. “But then you turned your back on this place.”
“Because the overhead is too high and the profit too low. That’s a hard lesson for a man to learn.” But it wasn’t the reason he’d turned his back on his heritage.
“Yes, the overhead and profit weren’t what either of us liked when you first began training cutting horses and had no reputation.” She gripped his fingers, squeezing in a display of strength. “But now you have a reputation—”
“Had.”
“And you can command good prices. The Rocking H could be great again. What’s holding you back?”
Conner stood. He couldn’t tell her the truth.
If he was injured again—or worse—there’d be no one to take care of her.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE MORNING AFTER Danny told Lily he loved her, she stared at her phone’s favorites list.
Dad. Peyton. Amanda. Georgie. Fiona.
It was time to call someone in the family, time to talk about what she would do next. The question was: Who?
Irrationally, she didn’t want to talk to any of the Harrisons. She wanted to talk to Conner. She wanted to be reassured by his even voice and slow smile as she went through her options. She wanted to see his face when he told her he wasn’t pulling her strings, the way Danny had accused him of.
Lily sat on a bench in the yard behind the guesthouse while Pepper and Natalie discussed decorating options with Hadley, a Blackwell by marriage. The three women took turns pointing, gesturing and otherwise spreading their arms as if indicating where something grand would go.
Grand. The Blackwell Ranch was that. But it didn’t seem to have much history. Most of what Lily had seen so far was new. She thought back to Conner’s speech about looking for roots in the place of her ancestors. Lily had found none. Although a large oak tree in a nearby pasture looked promising. Had someone planted it? Or was it a volunteer, a tree sprouted from a seed dropped by a passing bird?
“Good morning.” Danny sat on the bench next to her. “Great place for a wedding. We could get married out here. Who needs a church and hundreds of wedding guests?”
Although Lily’s gut reaction was to deny-deny-deny, she took a moment to study Danny’s face. The bruising near his eye had gotten worse. “Jeez, Danny. You should see a doctor.”
“I’ve been icing it and taking something to reduce the swelling.” He shrugged. “If I leave, someone might not let me back on the property.”
“It’s not like that.” Although Conner’s ferocious face and Grandma Dot’s stern one came to mind.
The sun’s rays had chased away the morning chill, promising a hot afternoon.
Danny nodded toward the mountains. “I bet there’s good skiing on those slopes in the winter and zip-lining in the summer. And surprise. It’s summer.” He gave her a half smile, an invitation to get out and do something wild.
“I’m not up for anything super fun.” Why couldn’t I have fallen head over heels in love with Danny? That would have been so easy. What she felt for Conner was risky, the future uncertain.
The bridal trio laughed, drawing Lily’s attention, taking her back to a time when she’d believed love was easy.
It wasn’t long after the rocket accident that the Harrison girls had been allowed to stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve.
Mom was a stickler about watching those network shows with musical performances, mostly because every time the music came on, Dad would shed his stiff military image and bring her to her feet to dance. That night Dad had cut a rug with all six of his girls—Mom and the Harrison sisters.
Stiff, formal Rudy Harrison had moves in their living room. He was wild when he boogied, dancing circles around the girls. It was the first time Lily was conscious of thinking something wild didn’t always entail danger.
But the slow dances... The slow dances had been reserved for the parents.
“I love you down to my toes, Rudy,” Mom would say during those slow songs. “Always have. Always will.”
It was the first time Lily remembered thinking her parents were sappy romantics and had wished for a sappy marriage of her own someday. How had she forgotten that wish? Pepper’s laughter filled the air.
Lily sighed. “You know, Pepper is thrilled to be getting married. I never felt like that about marrying you. Apologies if that sounds harsh.”
“You’re not like Pepper,” Danny said evenly. “That woman’s nonstop energy is exhausting. She probably gushes when she gets her oil changed.”
“That’s not very nice.” But it was probably true.
“You don’t gush, Lily.” He turned to face her. “Don’t judge your love for me by the high-pitched energy Pepper exhibits.”
Lily touched his hand. Once. Briefly. Just to be sure there were no sparks, no rush of attraction making her heart pound.
Nothing.
Because he’s not Conner.
“Look, I’m sorry I walked out on the wedding without talking to you. But it was for the best.” That was what she would have written on the postcard from Rustlers, given the chance. “We’re better friends than we would have been lovers.”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lily.” Danny stared at the hand she’d touched. “I’m sorry you heard me talking to your dad in the church. You know, a lot of people have cold feet and then go on to have wonderful marriages.”
They’d been friends forever, talking about all kinds of subjects. But they’d never talked of love or the depth of their love. And Lily found she had no desire to. What she felt for Danny was different from what she felt for Conner.
“How old do you think that tree is over there?” Lily pointed toward the tall oak.
“I couldn’t say.” And it sounded like he wasn’t interested in finding out.
“I wonder if my great-great-grandfather planted it.”
“Who cares?” Danny inched closer until his leg nearly touched hers. “This is the first opportunity I’ve had to talk to you alone. I love you, Lily. And I know you love me, too. We can get past this. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”
Lily found that hard to believe. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good kisser? Any of those many women you dated even though you claim to have loved me for decades?”
Despite her best efforts, bitterness crept into her tone.
“I was giving you the time you needed to spread your wings.” Danny smirked. It was a superior smirk, the kind that preceded what he thought was going to be a win.
He was wrong. Just like he’d been wrong last night to cut and divide every bit of food on her plate until she felt small and helpless. Conner knew about her lack of finger dexterity, but he’d never embarrassed her with it. In hindsight, Danny did it all the time.
“Hang on. You like the way I kiss you?” Danny chuckled, missing the point completely.
Lily cleared her throat. “Your kissing technique doesn’t make up for our lack of chemistry.”
Her ex had a fierce expression made more intense by the bruising. “I followed you to the ends of the earth after you left me at the altar.” He was practically shouting.
The three women turned to stare.
“Can we keep this civil?” Lily whispered.
Stay out of trouble. Do the right thing. Honor your word.
“I know you and Rudy set me up in business,” Lily told him. “You made me feel like I was in charge, and I suppose I should be grateful for that. But it was just a sham. I’m just a sham.”
“That’s not true.” But his protest lacked conviction.
“I want to give you the business, if you want it.” And just like that, Lily closed a door on her life in California. Horse training, here I come. “You could make the tours edgier. And who knows? It might do so well you could retire from the navy.” Get out from under Rudy’s thumb.
“But...it makes you happy.” For once, Danny didn’t tell her how to feel. “And you’ll have nothing to do. Unless... Unless this means you want to get married so I can take care of you.”
“No.” When he would have protested, she hurried on. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I’ll be okay on my own.”
A young man wearing blue jeans and a blue-checked button-down, both with store creases, came around the corner, walking with the stilted steps of those uninitiated in the use of cowboy boots. “Pepper.”
The bride-to-be turned, squealed and charged across the lawn, leaping into the man’s arms. “Ken! I wasn’t expecting you until later.”
Ken was nothing like what Lily had expected. He was kind of a nerd.
Ken kissed Pepper like she was air he was in desperate need of, and then he drew back and stared into her eyes in silence, seemingly content to reacquaint himself with her face.
There was truth in that kiss, that stare, that connection. And there’d been nothing like that between her and Danny. Ever.
Lily stared at her hands. “You never looked at me like that.” Much less kissed her like that.
That kiss was more like the one Conner had given her.
“Don’t get so high and mighty.” Danny stubbornly refused to back down. “Love like that is rare and doesn’t last.”
“That may be,” Lily said. “But it doesn’t mean we both shouldn’t hold out for it.”
* * *
“LILY?” AMANDA PICKED up after barely one ring. “Lily? Are you okay? I’m so mad at you right now. Lily? Can you hear me?”
“Yes. If you give me a chance to speak, you might hear me.” After returning to her room, it had taken Lily only twenty minutes of staring at her contacts list to work up the nerve to call her sister. She stood at her bedroom window, staring at Ken and Pepper in the yard below. They held hands and walked the perimeter, looking utterly in love and causing an ache in Lily’s chest.
Maybe I could get a love like that if I had a life plan like Pepper’s.
“Thank heavens you’re all right.” Amanda sounded out of breath. “Good boy, Clancy. Water that tree. Maybe then you’ll slow down. How can you just run away like that?”
“Are you talking to me or the dog?” Her sister was always rescuing strays.
“Don’t joke, Lily. I was worried sick that you’d been kidnapped even though Dad said we had to give this Blackwell character the benefit of the doubt.” She huffed the way she did when she didn’t have faith in someone. “You shouldn’t have run off and left us with that scribbled note.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure you weren’t taken against your will? That would be easier to stomach than Dad not being our father. Clancy, don’t eat grass!”
“No kidnapping. Just a cowboy chauffeur.” They’d been together in close quarters for so long, Lily glanced around, expecting him to be nearby.
He wasn’t.
She missed him.
Amanda ignored Lily’s attempt at a joke. “So you’re okay? What are you going to do about Danny?”
“Nothing.” She told Amanda about overhearing Danny at the church and that he’d confessed to everyone how Rudy had sent him to Montana. “I’m not going to marry him.” And she suspected they could no longer be friends. “My life is a joke. My father isn’t my father—”
“Don’t say that!”
“My business isn’t my business. My ex-fiancé isn’t my one true love. And I don’t even like doing risky things.”
“Hang on. That last one is a shocker. Am I really talking to Lily Harrison?” Amanda sighed. “And if it is you, are you getting enough to eat? You sound a bit peckish.”
“Amanda.” Lily stared at the ceiling. “What did Big E tell you about my birth certificate?”
“None of us spoke to the mysterious Mr. Blackwell, except Dad. Besides, I was too upset to listen. I left the church and drove to your apartment. My heart is pounding just thinking about it.”
“But what did Dad say? Or Peyton?” The most levelheaded of the Harrisons.
“Lily, that birth certificate is a hoax. Clancy!” Amanda grunted. “Down, boy. Sorry, sir. He’s a lover, not a fighter. Forget about this, Lily, and come home. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I told you I’m fine. What’s this about a hoax?”
“Dad is our dad, Lily. We’re Harrisons. If we weren’t, someone would have told us long before now.”
“Just because you don’t want to believe it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” Bold words for a woman who was hiding in her luxury hotel room because she didn’t feel like a Blackwell.
Amanda scoffed. “I’m taking a DNA test. You know me. I need proof. Until then, that birth certificate is a hoax, as far as I’m concerned.” She let out an exclamation. “Clancy! Stop it with the inappropriate sniffing. No, I...I don’t want a date. My dog is not Cupid. Ha ha.” Amanda made a growling noise, lowering her voice. “I swear, this dog should have been a bloodhound. He has to smell everything and everyone.”
“He has the right idea, Amanda. You haven’t dated in forever.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” She huffed. “Are you remembering to brush your hair?”
“I’m not the little terror I used to be. I can get myself ready in the morning, you know.”
“No, boy.” Amanda gave Clancy another stern command. “Come home, Lily. You shouldn’t be out in the wilds of Montana with strangers.”
“I’m not with strangers. Don’t forget Danny’s here. He brought our wedding rings and everything.” She wanted to ask Rudy why he’d sent her fiancé, but she was afraid she knew the answer. Her stepfather didn’t think Lily could get along without him.
“Ew. Your wedding rings. That is kind of sad. You’ve just given me a whole new set of scenarios to worry about.”
“I can handle it.”
“I know you can. Just... Whatever happens, don’t run away this time.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“LOOK, CONNER. IT’S CHRISTMAS.” Ethan waved Conner over to the ranch yard on Thursday morning as a large horse trailer rumbled to a stop.
A similar rig was coming up the road. The mustangs that Conner had purchased for Big E had arrived. He glanced toward the guesthouse to see if Lil
y was coming out to greet them. No such luck. He should have known. He’d spent all morning working with Ethan to build several large portable corrals. Once the horses were inside, they’d move the sections of fencing until they formed ten-by-ten enclosures for each mustang.
But during the morning’s activity, there’d been no sign of Lily. Conner had a feeling she was avoiding him. Or her ex had finally convinced her that Conner and Big E were up to no good. He gritted his teeth.
Ethan slung a bag containing his veterinary equipment over his shoulder, prepared to check the stock. “What’s your plan for them training-wise?”
“My plan? Click my heels three times and have you and Katie make all the decisions.” Despite his protests, excitement rushed through Conner’s veins. He attributed it to the fact that Lily wanted to learn how to train horses. Not that she was staying long enough to get serious about it, but it was a chance for Conner to be with her. Early horse training wasn’t as dangerous as the later stages.
Ethan gave Conner a gentle shove. “The guy who decided to overpurchase is the one who has to decide what to do with all that stock. With so many, you know we’ll need two good horse trainers.”
Conner shook his head, continuing to resist. “You know I don’t—”
“You should.” Ethan laid a hand on Conner’s shoulder this time. “It’s been long enough, don’t you think?”
Gone was the adrenaline. Conner’s chest was tight.
“Yes, Conner. Get back to training.” Katie appeared at Conner’s side, her dog at her heels. “I could work up a contract with the Rocking H. It’d be less of a drain on our personnel.”
It was easier not to argue. It was easier to pretend great interest in the newly delivered horses.
Katie didn’t take the hint. “I can get the Jamison boys to come in from town to cover for you. They enjoy hanging out at the ranch, and high school doesn’t start for a few more weeks. It’s not that hard to take folks on trail rides.”
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