“And now? Do you have any more regrets?”
He led her toward the river. “I’d like to collect the pieces that made up Thomas Blackwell’s life to discover what kind of man he is. Or was.” Those last two words came out on a sorrowful note.
Big E paused at a small rise to look at her. For someone in his eighties, his gaze was sharp. “You feel like the odd man out because of those fingers Rudy claims don’t work the way they need to?”
She agreed, clenching her hands into fists.
“Funny thing about belonging. It doesn’t matter much unless you want to belong.”
Lily smiled. “You’re a cowboy philosopher.”
“I’m an old man.” He continued on.
The sun beat down on them, hot when the nights were cool. Unlike San Diego, this was a place of extreme weather. How hard it must have been for the Blackwells who settled here.
“What was your father like?” she wondered aloud.
“A lot like me, I think. And I’m a lot like Rudy, if truth be told.” Big E shook his head. “I mean, I was like Rudy. Stubborn, thinking my grandchildren should shape their lives to my vision, not theirs.”
“Pardon me if I admit I’m much happier to have met the mature version of Big E Blackwell. Two Rudys in my life would have undone me.” She lifted her chin before admitting, “I think I want to be a horse trainer.”
Big E paused, studying that out-thrust chin. “Is that because of your interest in horses? Or in Conner?”
“Conner asked me a similar question.” Lily leaned closer as if they were surrounded by curious people, not sparse grass and delicate wildflowers. “He wanted to be sure I was interested in the challenge of mustang training, not the adrenaline of working with untamed animals. I just feel as if horse training would be more enriching to me than taking people white-river rafting. And I know if I tell Rudy about my interest, he’d assume I was seeking another rush but in a new way.” Regardless of their conversation the night before.
Big E clapped her on the shoulder and gave her a wide, warm grin that showed the gold in his dental work. “You don’t strike me as the type to jump a motorcycle over buses—”
“But you don’t want me to get hurt.” She patted his hand, grateful to be understood. “Are you so protective you’d bar me from trying? Albeit this is your ranch, after all.”
“That’s a tricky question.” His hand fell away. “As your grandfather, I’d love to see you stick around. And training mustangs... Well, I doubt you could pursue the profession in San Diego.”
“But...”
“But all this is very new to Rudy.” Big E had a way of looking at her that cut to her very core. “We are leaving Monday, or as soon as my rig is fixed.” Big E gave her a sly smile, and something of a blessing when it came to her exploration of horse training.
They reached the river. The level was low. It gurgled past at a leisurely pace.
“It’s August.” He stared toward a bridge spanning from Blackwell land to the other side. It might have been the one from Pru’s photograph. “The water always becomes a trickle in August, unless there’s rain in the high country. And then the water comes down in such a rush, it can wipe out everything in its path.” He paused, suddenly looking sad.
There was more to learn about Big E and her Blackwell heritage.
“Tell me the truth,” Lily said, thinking of the cowboy who’d always promised her as much. “You brought Rudy to Montana in exchange for information about Thomas Blackwell.” San Diego was a navy town, after all, and her biological father might have served. As an active-duty naval officer, Rudy would have access to information more easily than Big E.
He chuckled. “Tell me the truth. You agreed to walk with me because you didn’t want to get in another fight with Rudy.”
She chuckled in turn. “I suppose we understand each other better than we thought.”
Big E nodded. “Now that you’ve asked some questions, I have one of my own.”
Lily braced herself for questions about her life choices, about her fingers, horse training, Conner.
But Big E surprised her. “What really happened to my motor home?”
* * *
“MOM?” CONNER STOOD on the threshold of the Rocking H after too many hours of wedding rehearsals, too many hours without seeing Lily.
He’d been anxious to get home and talk to his mother about the day of his accident. Could it be that Parsnip hadn’t spooked because of anything Conner had done wrong? But what did it matter if something else had startled the mustang? Training wild mustangs took time. He needed a steady paycheck. Still, he wanted answers.
He’d have to wait to ask his mom. The house was quiet. The TV silent. Nothing was going on in the kitchen. Her bed was made and empty. This wasn’t normal.
Refusing to let fear shake his legs out from under him, Conner made a U-turn and headed for the chicken coop. “Mom?”
She’s resilient. She probably just lost track of time inside the coop talking to those chickens of hers.
The chicken coop was full of birds, but empty of his chicken-loving mama.
He drew a steadying breath, refusing to think the worst.
She’s stubborn. She might have gone out to the barn to get extra oats. Enough for Parsnip, Pearl and Mouse.
The barn was empty.
Her truck sat empty.
“Mom?” Conner honked his truck horn, startling the chickens. In the ensuing silence, he listened.
Parsnip whinnied. It sounded like he was in the next pasture over, the one with the pond.
Conner ran. Unnerved, but holding it together. He was a rancher, born and bred. He’d been raised on adversity. But his mother was missing, and Parsnip hadn’t run out to greet him when he’d come home.
He went through one gate and then another.
Parsnip galloped up to Conner, pranced around him and then ran toward the pond, where Conner could see his mother’s overturned walker and something on the ground. Something... Someone...
“Mom!” He raced to her side.
“It’s about time.” She lay on her back, a small bouquet of wilted purple wildflowers nearby.
Parsnip walked over and ate her bouquet.
“Yes, you rascal.” She sounded loopy. “I suppose that’s your reward.”
“Mom, are you hurt? Do you recognize me?” Had she experienced a dip in blood sugar or shock?
“Oh, of all the things to cap an already bad day.” She accepted Conner’s help in sitting up, groaning. “You think I’ve lost my marbles. I was talking to Parsnip. I sent him to fetch you when I heard the truck.”
Conner didn’t rule out some temporary mental confusion. Parsnip wasn’t a rescue dog.
“What happened? How did you get out here?” There was more than concern in his questions. There was anger. It spilled out like peat, the way it escaped from a big hole in an old bag of fertilizer. “What in the world are you doing down here? I thought we agreed you’d stick to the house and ranch yard. That you’d only do activities that are safe, like letting out the chickens and working on your indoor crafts.”
“Pfft.” She made no move to get to her feet, pressing her hip tenderly. “I remembered we’d had that rain while you were gone, which usually brings out the lupines. Such a stubborn flower in the high country. And so pretty.” She shook a finger at Parsnip. “Bad boy.”
Parsnip whinnied.
“He’s not a dog.”
“You think I don’t know that? I told him several times to go get help. Lassie, he’s not.” His mother closed her eyes. “And then to add insult to injury, he ate my flowers.”
“Can we start over?” Because her story was disjointed and making no sense. He laid a hand on her forehead, but other than being sunburned, she didn’t feel as if she had a fever. “You came out to get wildflowers...”
&
nbsp; “Because I wanted Lily to see how beautiful things are here.” She blinked back tears. “The Rocking H doesn’t look the way it used to and I don’t blame you for that. You may not realize that you’ve charmed her, but I do. I was hoping she was a chicken person or a cat person. But she didn’t want to hold either, and so I thought we needed to win her over with flowers.”
“Mom.” Conner sighed and explained about Lily’s challenges with holding on to things. “She’s very careful about what she picks up. Remember, I had you put her soup in a cup, not a bowl.”
“And she drank it two-handed.” His mother’s eyes widened.
He nodded. “So you came out to get the wildflowers for Lily and then what happened?”
“A bee dive-bombed me. I hit the deck.” She rubbed her hip again. “I can’t put weight on my left leg and I’ve gotten so weak from sitting too much that I couldn’t push myself up.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “And the walker kept falling over. Heaven only knows where my phone’s gone to. And all I could think of was that I have failed you something awful.”
He wrapped his arms around her and denied it. “You’re my miracle maker, the reason I had to walk again.”
She clung to his shirt. “You’re just saying that because I had a bad day.”
“I’m saying that because it’s true. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have gotten rid of this place and Parsnip the day after I went in that hospital.” He wiped away her tears the way she’d wiped away his when he was a little boy. “But speaking of bad days, specifically when Parsnip walloped me, I never asked, but...did something happen to spook him?” Now that she was safe, he couldn’t wait for answers any longer.
“The day of your accident?” His mother sniffed. “One of the barn cats chased one of my chickens, way on the other side of the yard. But we talked about this a long time ago. And you didn’t seem to think it was the reason Parsnip spooked.”
“When was this talk?” Conner couldn’t remember the conversation, although he knew Parsnip didn’t like cats.
“Oh, gosh. It must have been those first few days you were in the hospital.”
When I was heavily sedated.
“Are you getting to be forgetful, like your mother?”
“Not a chance.” But the fact that his accident wasn’t due to something he’d done was earthshaking. It meant his success training mustangs as cutting horses hadn’t been a fluke. It meant he had more than some skill. He might go as far as to say he was a professional. And a professional horse trainer didn’t take foolish risks or quit after one mistake.
“Is it important?” Mom asked. “The cats and Parsnip, I mean.”
“Yes.” Because it validated what people had been telling him. He should quit the Blackwell Ranch and return to his passion. Still, the idea would take getting used to. And he couldn’t just flip a switch and say, I’m a horse trainer. Now I’m worthy enough for the likes of Lily Harrison Blackwell. He’d need proof. Months of hard work and a substantial payday. The Rocking H would need to be spruced up.
Conner lifted his mother off the ground and sat her in her walker, which he dragged back to the ranch yard.
She shook her finger at his truck as they drew near. “Do not tell me we’re going to the doctor. You know how expensive that is. I’ve probably just got a bruise or something.”
“Don’t argue.” He lifted her into the truck, and they set off.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“LILY, YOU CAN’T avoid me forever.”
Lily froze, gripping the door handle of the guesthouse. A few seconds sooner and she’d have made her escape, disappearing into the growing crowd of Pepper’s wedding guests.
But she’d been caught, fair and square. She turned, smoothing her hands over the dress she’d worn for dinner the other night, and faced Rudy, who was coming through the kitchen, where he’d probably been lying in wait.
“Come on.” He gestured toward the do-it-yourself coffee bar in the foyer. “Let’s have a cup of coffee. I’ll spring for a latte.” Gone was her angry father. In his place was the man she loved dearly.
“You always knew how to push my buttons.” Lily came to stand next to him, smiling despite their recent differences. “Lattes are my kryptonite.” That wasn’t quite true. Pouring was her kryptonite, and sometimes it took all her concentration to neatly fill a cup of coffee.
“You always cared too much what people thought of you if you spilled or dropped something.” He took some small caramel-flavored creamer pods—the kind that she could never open cleanly by herself. He poured their contents into a small frother-steamer and then poured them each a cup of coffee while they waited for her creamer to heat and foam. “It’s okay to ask someone to help you make a latte. If people know you, they know you don’t like black coffee. And look.” He pointed to a dish on the next table. “Doughnut holes.”
Lily narrowed her eyes. “They haven’t had pastries since I’ve been here.” Only scrambled eggs and cold cereal, which were hard for her to eat in company without looking like a toddler in need of a high chair. He’d provided those doughnut holes, all right. And she loved him for it.
“You’re too thin, Lily.”
“Dad.”
“I like the sound of that.” He chuckled. “Dad, not Rudy.”
“Dad.” He earned an eye roll.
He smiled at her as if he hadn’t seen her in forever, when in fact this version of Rudy hadn’t made an appearance since before her mom died. “All I’m saying is, the people who care about you don’t care if you get caught up in conversation and drop food all over yourself and the floor.”
“People like Danny.” She took a step back, glancing around.
“There could be other people, too.” He poured her hot, foamy creamer on top of her coffee. “Like that cowboy who used Danny as a punching bag.”
“Dad.”
“That’s me.” He grinned as he carried their coffees into the kitchen since the dining room was being prepared for Pepper’s reception. “I wish you would have come to me when you found your birth certificate,” he said wistfully.
They still had so much emotional ground to navigate. Not just the two of them, but also with the rest of Lily’s siblings. “Did you know?”
He took a seat at the large kitchen island and shook his head. “I met your mother when she was pregnant with Fiona. On paper, she wasn’t what a young naval officer was looking for. Four girls. Another on the way. She was waitressing at my favorite diner wearing threadbare clothes. But she had the brightest smile, like you.” He sipped his coffee and stared across the room. “And she spent every penny on you girls.”
“She always put others first.” Lily still ached just talking about her mother.
Rudy nodded. “I fell in love. And I knew she’d been married before, but she never talked about it. About him.” He glanced around the grand kitchen. “Thomas of House Blackwell.”
“You’ve been reading your fantasy novels again.”
“It passes the time.” He gave her a small smile.
But she knew what he meant. The Blackwells were doing well, like fine lords and ladies of old, while the Harrisons just got by.
“I offered to adopt you, but she always had some excuse, some reason for not contacting Thomas.” He shrugged. “And so I stopped asking. We were married, after all. And I loved you like a father. Why did I need a piece of paper to prove it?”
“It must have been hard for you.” Lily stared at her latte, a drink he hadn’t had to make for her. But he’d always been the father who anticipated what his daughters needed and tried to make their lives easier. “I must have been hard for you,” she amended.
“You were all a challenge in your own way.” Rudy took her hand. “But I wouldn’t change a thing. Because although your mother and I didn’t make sense on paper, we made total sense in our hearts.”
Like m
e and Conner.
“I love you, Dad.” Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a disappointment. I’ll pay you back for the wedding.” She might be able to sell her wedding dress, if she remembered to get it out of the motor home before Rudy and Big E hit the open road on this quest of theirs. “Why are you going with Big E to find Thomas?”
Rudy squared his shoulders. “I think it’s important for you girls to know your biological father.”
Do the right thing.
“And you’ve never been a disappointment to me,” he said, raising his coffee mug toward her. “I bet you also want to know why Mom never talked about him.”
Didn’t they all?
“It must be hard being a mother.” Lily gripped her coffee mug.
He put his arm around her shoulders. “You say that like you’ve decided that’s the one adventure you’ll never accept.”
“You know...” She set the mug down and held out her hands, palms up.
Rudy drew her close. “The one thing I know with certainty is that you’ll be a wonderful mother when the time comes. Your mother believed it, too.”
Lily leaned her head on his shoulder. “Do you really think so?”
“Lily Rose Harrison... Blackwell. You’ve never backed down from a grand adventure. Don’t you dare start now.”
She sniffed. “Would you...?” Lily stared at the layer of foam in her mug. “Would you like to come to Pepper’s wedding? As my date?” She’d been hoping Conner might ask her but that hadn’t happened.
Rudy’s eyes teared up. “I would be honored to attend any wedding with you.”
* * *
“I’M SPEECHLESS,” Rudy said as he took a seat next to Lily on the aisle.
They gawked at the wedding venue, a pasture behind the guesthouse.
Not that it was recognizable as a field. There was a gazebo draped in white gauzy curtains, flanked by hitching posts where the horses the wedding party was riding in on were going to be tied during the ceremony. Rows of white chairs with red sashes flanked an aisle wide enough for two horses to ride through. There were baskets of fresh-cut flowers every few rows and ceramic pots filled with blooms at the gazebo. They’d each been given a cowboy hat. Lily’s had a pink ribbon that fluttered in the soft breeze.
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