by Dave Corrick
Chapter 26
The councillors Return to Face the Music!
Over the next few days Pearl checked in daily at the bank and merged with the bank manager. Pearl could tell that the bank manager was more than a little concerned about the status of the council bank account.
By Friday there had been several calls to the bank from Mayor Twyfle, Shufflegrub and the other councillors demanding to know why their credit cards were being rejected, poor things!
The bank had been trying without success to find someone at the council who could explain why the council account was significantly overdrawn. In fact the bank was threatening to seize council assets to cover the shortfall. This would indeed help the cause for the insects.
With all the councillors away the only person available to take all the flack was the chief executive officer, our good friend Grovelmoore. Grovelmoore was getting close to a state of panic. He was having to spend a great deal of time back at the council when he was supposed to be managing the dairy farm! Worst of all he was in the position of appearing to be a completely incompetent fool in not being able to explain where the council funds had gone! Shufflegrub had phoned him twice and abused him for not getting things sorted out.
Pearl was enjoying this; it would inevitably be any time soon that a commissioner would be appointed. Also it wouldn’t be long before the “team” on the “fact finding mission” would be heading back due to lack of funds.
Pearl was keeping in touch with Louie and Lulu to keep them informed about what was going on.
Louie and Lulu had been visiting the farm each day. Things were carrying on as normal although it appeared that the Grovelmoore family was worried about serious odour problems throughout the house. More brown stains had appeared down the foundations but still nobody had taken any notice.
It was on the next Tuesday when Louie and Lulu made their usual 8.00 a.m. visit to the farm. It had happened. All of the members of the Grovelmoore family, including Mr Grovelmoore, were outside the house some distance away, standing in their night attire! Obviously it had happened sometime during the night. Yes the cow effluent had come up through the floor and had filled all of the ground floor rooms. It was flowing out the front door, across the veranda, down the steps and over the driveway! To make matters worse the Grovelmoore car was right in the middle of the stinking mess running out from the front door!
The stench was overpowering. The Grovelmoore family couldn’t get anywhere near the house or the milking shed because of the smell. Consequently the milking operation just carried on doing what it was supposed to do, producing more milk and more effluent!
Grovelmoore couldn’t believe what he saw. What would Shufflegrub do to him?
In blind panic Grovelmoore yelled to his family. ‘Run for it! Get in the car!’
The family splashed their way through the effluent and got into the car. They were gone! In fact the Grovelmoore family was never seen again, not by anybody. Grovelmoore was not going to wait around for Shufflegrub that was for sure!
‘Oh my goodness’, said Lulu. ‘Let’s get Pearl down here to have a look!’
‘Phoning her now’, said Louie.
Pearl was with them in about twenty minutes.
‘What a mess!’ said Pearl with roguish delight. ‘This is better than I ever thought it would be. Everything is obviously going to plan. I heard yesterday that the councillors are on their way back today and will be here tomorrow. Shufflegrub won’t be too pleased!’
‘I wonder Pearl’, said Lulu. ‘If the councillors aren’t due back until tomorrow. Why don’t we do our little trick now of reducing the cows to calves! There’s nobody around to see what we are doing at the moment’.
‘Great idea Lulu, well-done!’ said Pearl excited by the prospect of more mischief. ‘In fact it really would be a good idea to do this now so the cows don’t go on producing milk’.
Half an hour later, Louie, Lulu and Pearl were back again having gone through the quartz so they could do the job with the cows.
It was time consuming but the team managed to reduce all the cows to calves within four hours.
‘Another surprise for Shufflegrub!’ said Pearl with glee when they had finished.
The three looked at the house, yes the poor house that had once been the pride and joy of Mrs Appleton. What a mess it was now.
‘I guess Pearl’, said Louie. ‘Once the new council is established it wouldn’t be too much of a problem to get the house cleaned up again?’
‘Exactly Louie’, Pearl replied. ‘Perhaps a bit of merging with the new councillors will ensure that it is dealt with promptly!’
‘I think the next step’, said Pearl. ‘Is to wait for the councillors to arrive back from their wonderful holiday! I intend to spend most of the day at the council tomorrow to keep an eye on what is going on. I need to watch out for the appointment of a commissioner. Once the councillors arrive I will come back through the quartz and give you two a call and you can join me at the council and see what happens’.
‘Oh this is so good Pearl’, said Lulu. ‘It’s just working out beautifully so far’.
‘Yes’, said Pearl. ‘I must admit we have been really lucky with a few things. I must go back now. You two stay awhile and we will catch-up again tomorrow’.
Louie and Lulu did stay on for awhile. It was fascinating watching the young calves frolicking around. Louie and Lulu flew over all of the calves to ensure that they were eating grass. It was of concern if they had made any of the calves “too young” they wouldn’t be able to feed themselves. All was well.
‘Let’s go back through the quartz now Lulu’, said Louie. ‘I suggest we call it a day and spend the afternoon at home with Tiger and Lily. Import can look after the Factory for us’.
‘Yes please’, said Lulu. ‘That would be just perfect; I think we have earned it!’
Louie and Lulu flew on home and landed on the deck much to the delight of Tiger and Lily who came rushing out to meet them.
Rose was there of course and came out to see them.
‘I think Tiger and Lily want to show you something’, said Rose.
Tiger and Lily had lined up in front of Louie and Lulu and were uttering what sounded like, ‘ook at me, ook at me’.
Tiger and Lily then proceeded to flap their little wings for all they were worth, yes; they lifted off the deck and hovered in front of their parents for a short time then landed back on the deck panting with the effort!
‘Oh you wonderful wee bees’, said Lulu.
‘Well-done’, said Louie. ‘Show us again, show us again!’
After a couple more “ook at me’s” the pair did it again. It was a little bit shorter this time, their little wings were getting tired, but they managed to do it! Clever little blighters.
Louie and Lulu clutched the little bees and held them close while stroking their little bodies with affection. They were so proud of them. Louie looked at Lulu and smiled. All the work they were doing with Pearl was certainly worthwhile!
The next morning (Wednesday) when Louie and Lulu were at the Factory, Louie had a call from Pearl. Yes the councillors were due back at any time. Pearl had come back through the quartz to phone Louie and suggested he and Lulu join her for the fun! She would be in the council chambers.
Louie quickly went and told Lulu and they were off to the tunnel, through the quartz and on to the council.
Sure enough, Pearl was waiting in the council chambers, Louie and Lulu could see her blue shape in the corner when they arrived and went to join her.
All was not good! Most of the council staff had walked off the job because of course they hadn’t been paid. Grovelmoore had gone forever so the administration function was without a leader. It was going to be interesting to see what happened when the councillors arrived.
The bank manager was there, still trying to get answers out of anybody who might be around as to why the council bank account was overdrawn.
Several contractors were
demanding payment for services rendered. What a welcoming committee for the team coming home prematurely from a wonderful holiday!
Apart from all these people there was one person there that Pearl felt might be very useful! It was a “chappy” from the Dairy Board who knew Shufflegrub quite well. He had heard Shufflegrub was due back mid morning. Pearl had merged with him briefly to find out what he was up to.
What this fellow wanted to do was have a look at the dairy farm then take Shufflegrub to lunch. Oh yes Shufflegrub was going to be one of the biggest most efficient suppliers of milk in the area. There could be some cosy arrangements for them both to make money, typically to squeeze out some of the smaller farms. It was a case of the old “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” scenario.
The happy councillors and Mayor Twyfle arrived back a little after mid morning. Shufflegrub was really mad about having to come back because of the no more money issue. He ranted and raved, ‘Somebody’s head will roll for this I tell you. Nobody, I tell you, nobody embarrasses me like this and gets away with it!’
None of the councillors knew the true gravity of the situation of course. Mayor Twyfle told those waiting that they would have to make an appointment with his secretary and to not bother him now. Mayor Twyfle’s attitude was not to have any direct contact with the hoi polloi from the village, oh no!
The arrogance on the part of the Mayor and the councillors was the catalyst to fire up the bank manager into action. He went away and got straight onto the country’s Prime Ministerial Office. Just what Pearl had wanted, there would probably be a commissioner appointed within twenty four hours.
Once the hoi polloi had gone, Shufflegrub went over to his mate from the Dairy Board to find out why he wanted to see him. What a good idea Shufflegrub thought, a visit to the dairy farm and a spot of lunch! It would remove him from the irritating nonsense that was happening around him now. Shufflegrub suggested that as he was dropping his family (who were waiting impatiently in the car) off at the farm that the Dairy Board chappy follow in his car. Splendid!
One thing that worried Shufflegrub slightly was that most of the staff were missing, including Grovelmoore. Still he supposed all would all be sorted out tomorrow.
‘Quick’, said Pearl to Louie and Lulu. ‘Let’s fly down to the farm and see what happens!
Louie, Lulu and Pearl quickly left the council and flew off to the farm and waited for the Shufflegrubs and the Dairy Board chappy to arrive. Of course with our trio being on the other side of the quartz in their invisible forms, they could fly at some speed and were at the farm within minutes
‘Oh gosh’, said Lulu, ‘What on earth will happen next?’
‘I believe’, said Pearl. ‘We are heading into the final phase of our operation now. By tomorrow there should be a commissioner appointed and it will be the end of these rogues who are in council now. I don’t think that Shufflegrub will stay around after he sees what has happened here anyway!’
As the three insects sat and waited for Shufflegrub to arrive, the milking shed continued to function as it had been programmed to do so. Of course now there were no cows. Only calves remained so no milk was being produced. The calves had no instinct to go anywhere near the milking shed. Water and any remaining effluent however was still being pumped under the house and flowed in copious quantities out the front door, across the veranda and down the steps onto the driveway!
The moment they had been waiting for arrived. Sure enough, up the drive came the Shufflegrub car followed closely by the Dairy Board chappy.
Shufflegrub got out of his car in front of the house. He stepped into ankle deep effluent and stared speechless for a moment in absolute amazement. The stench was overpowering!
Louie was sure he heard the same word that Bull Neck had used sometime ago when the insects had stopped the water pipe project. Yes an almighty ‘D-U-C-K!!!!’ or some similar sounding word was emitted by Shufflegrub. Hmmm – strange Louie thought.
The Dairy Board chappy “sloshed” his way over to Shufflegrub while holding his nose and said, ‘I say Shufflegrub, what sort of operwation do we call this? Looks more like a fertiliser factorwy to me!’
Shufflegrub couldn’t believe it. He surveyed the scene before him. The most amazing thing was that there were two hundred calves instead of two hundred cows! What on earth had happened to them? Was he dreaming it? Secretly he was wondering if his past misdemeanours had caught up with him and this was some divine intervention! Which I suppose in some ways it was!
It was too much for Shufflegrub. He ignored the Dairy Board chappy and sloshed his way back through the effluent then got back into his car. He then drove off at speed back up the drive. Shufflegrub and his family, as was the case with the Grovelmoore family, were never seen again. Rumour has it that after seeing the cows reduced to calves the Shufflegrub family sought salvation and joined the Destiny Church! May god rest their souls.
‘Well that’s got rid of that lot’, said Pearl.
The Dairy Board chappy muttered to himself and got back into his car. The smell of the effluent in his car that had spilled from his effluent filled shoes would probably take at least a year to get rid of, well maybe! It was pretty bad anyway!
The triumphant trio flew back to the quartz and walked back out of the tunnel. What a successful day it had been.
‘When this is all over’, said Pearl. ‘We are going to celebrate! Not today though. Tomorrow I will need to go to the council and wait for the commissioner to arrive. I will give you two a call when something happens’.
Pearl flew off back to her apartment. Louie and Lulu decided to head home to have a little late lunch, and perhaps stay at home for the rest of the afternoon. What a good idea!
The next day Pearl went back through the quartz to the council chambers. She knew she didn’t have to go too early as the councillors felt it was their arrogant right to never start before 10.00 a.m.
By 10.30 a.m. Mayor Twyfle and the councillors (apart from Shufflegrub) were seated in the council chamber. They were worried. There were no staff on hand to look after their morning tea and bikkies. The councillors couldn’t start without having tea and bikkies, it was unheard of!
Mayor Twyfle ordered a junior councillor to go and get the tea and bikkies and to be quick about it.
By 11.15 a.m. the mayor and councillors had had their tea and bikkies and it was on with the business at hand.
‘Does anybody know where Councillor Shufflegrub is?’ said the Mayor.
Nobody did.
‘Would somebody get Grovelmoore so we can get to the bottom of this staffing and financial nonsense’, the mayor said, confidant that a little application of his authority would soon sort all this out. After all he was the mayor. People bowed to his needs and ran around calling him ‘Your Worship’!’
‘Grovelmoore has gone’, said one of the councillors.
‘What do you mean gone?’ said the mayor getting slightly worried that he might have to get directly involved in sorting something out and even make a decision. ‘Well somebody go and find him then!’
The councillor’s attitude to this was for the mayor to go and find him himself. They had manipulated the mayor in the past. They weren’t about to change things now and let him have his way. Getting the morning tea had been bad enough!
Mayor Twyfle had no intention of lowering himself to the level where he actually had to go and do something himself, oh no. To save face he called for the council meeting to be adjourned until such time as Grovelmoore could be found.
Just as the councillors and the mayor were shuffling their papers and putting them back in their brief cases a figure appeared at the door to the council chambers. It was a man in his forties, tall and lean with cruel eyes. His hair was thick and jet black, brushed fiercely back from his forehead. He had a face shaped like a ferret and wore an ominously black suit. He looked like the very devil himself. He stood in the doorway for a moment and surveyed the councillors.
‘Who the
hell are you?’ said the Mayor. ‘You don’t come barging in here like this. Get out!’
This was completely the wrong way for the mayor to react. The imposing figure at the door stood his ground and didn’t budge.
‘My name is Direshark’, said the figure at the door. ‘I am a government appointed commissioner. I have come to take control of this council, effective as of now. Here is my warrant’.
Direshark flashed his warrant in front of the mayor. ‘You will all sit down. Anybody attempting to leave before I give the authority to do so will risk arrest by the police’.
The mayor and the councillors sat down in silence. They couldn’t believe what was happening. They were right out of their comfort zone now.
While Direshark was addressing the now subdued and somewhat terrified councillors, Pearl slipped away and flew through the quartz to let Louie and Lulu know that the commissioner had arrived and to come on down.
When Pearl returned, Direshark was trying to get information out of the councillors as to why the council had no funds.
‘It’s nothing to do with us’, said Mayor Twyfle. ‘You would have to talk to our chief executive officer, Grovelmoore’.
At this point Pearl merged with the commissioner and took over the grilling of the councillors.
Of course Pearl had far more information than Direshark about what the councillors had been up to.
Under Pearl’s questioning the councillors had no satisfactory answers as to:
1. Why families had gone on the fact finding holiday with all expenses paid?
2. Why the Appleton Estate had not been left to the people as requested?
3. Why there had been the purchase of hugely expensive milking equipment under the guise of property maintenance?
4. Why was the council virtually bankrupt?
5. Why council cars belonging to Shufflegrub and Grovelmoore were unaccounted for?
6. Why when the council was short of funds had it been voted to double councillor’s remuneration?
7. Why had there been a sizeable bonus payment to Grovelmoore when there was nothing to justify it?
8. Why had it been decided to double the number of councillors and appoint five directors?
9. Why had it been decided to turn designated reserve land into a housing development?
10. What were two hundred cows doing on the Appleton Estate?
The Mayor and councillors knew they had been caught out and sat in mortified silence. They had no answers to this onslaught of questioning. How on earth did Direshark know all of this? Clever Pearl!
Louie and Lulu had arrived by this time and were watching Pearl at work.
Pearl laid it clearly on the line to the councillors that personally they were each to deposit $50,000 into the council bank account. If they didn’t they would be arrested for fraud. Pearl knew that this would probably not in all reality be enforceable but it was worth a try.
Mayor Twyfle groaned. How could this be happening? He and the councillors were above all this. After all it was their right to take money off the ratepayer hoi polloi not the other way around.
Pearl rummaged through Direshark’s bag. Yes she found what she wanted. The resignation forms for the councillors and Mayor to sign. Things were falling into place.
Pearl sat silent for a moment and stared at the terrified mayor and councillors. Then she spoke. ‘As far as I am concerned you lot are about as useless as a ranch slider on a submarine! I want you all to sign these resignation forms and depart immediately. You have been made aware of the consequences if you don’t each deposit $50,000 in the council bank account. I want the money deposited immediately after you leave here. Is that quite clear? You have one hour!’ The mayor and councillors nodded in agreement. ‘None of you are to be seen anywhere near this council again’.
The Mayor and councillors signed the forms and left with their tails between their legs. Intuitively they knew they had done wrong. They had been given the option to pay the $50,000 as an out. They didn’t want to be in court for fraud. They went away to do as Pearl had bid. Pearl put all the resignations neatly in front of Direshark on the table.
‘Yippee!’ said Pearl when they had all left. ‘Are you there Louie and Lulu?’
‘Yes we are right beside you Pearl, that was brilliant’, said Lulu.
‘What I want to do now’, said Pearl. ‘Is get one of you to change places with me as Direshark. What I will do is go and merge with the bank manager and phone Direshark to tell him that the councillors have deposited funds into the council bank account. Direshark will then be able to get staff back and pay them. This will at least get the council functioning again’.
‘I’ll change places with you Pearl’, said Lulu.
‘Thanks Lulu’, said Pearl. ‘When I phone, just answer Direshark’s cell phone and I will tell you what to do’.
Lulu and Pearl changed places and Pearl headed off to merge with the bank manager. She had Direshark’s cell phone number with her.
When Pearl arrived at the bank there was a line of sad looking ex councillors making deposits!
Pearl, once merged with the bank manger, phoned Direshark’s cell phone number. Lulu answered.
‘Is that you Pearl?’ said Lulu.
‘Yes’, said Pearl. ‘What I want you to do now is demerge from Direshark. You and Louie just wait and watch until I get back’.
Lulu demerged. Direshark looked a bit startled as though he had woken from a dream. He had his cell phone to his ear and someone was talking to him, yes it was the bank manager.
Pearl (as the bank manager) told Direshark that the council bank account was now back in the black and thanked him for what he had done to remedy the situation. Pearl even went on to say that she would be phoning the Prime Minister’s Office to say what a great job Direshark had done!
After hanging up, Direshark was still a little confused. Where had everybody gone? How did the bank manager know his number? In front of him he had the signed resignations of the mayor and councillors. Direshark wasn’t really quite sure what had happened but he was amazed it had been so easy to get rid of the existing administration and restore some funds to the council bank account! Let’s move on he thought to himself.
Pearl with the assistance of Louie and Lulu had done what she had set about to do. The council administration had gone. It was a new beginning.
With funds back in the council bank account, Direshark restored the administration staff and appointed a council manager. Under Pearl’s “guidance” Direshark had appointed a manager rather than a chief executive officer as had been the case before.
Over the next two months Direshark asked for submissions from the public for names of those who would like to serve as mayor or councillors. During this period Pearl stayed close to Direshark and merged as required. She made sure the request for submissions contained the words ‘state remuneration required if selected’. Yes this was very cunning of Pearl. It meant that only those who had a genuine interest in the welfare of the village would put their names forward.
A new council was duly elected. There were now only five councillors plus the mayor. And guess who the mayor was?
Yes it was Mr McFarland! He was overjoyed at the prospect; it gave him the small amount of remuneration that he had asked for but best of all he had something to do in his retirement years that he really enjoyed!
When everything at the council had settled down again under the new administration, Louie, Lulu and Pearl called back at the bank. They took the money out of the “Tiger Lily holding account”, closed it, and returned the money to the council account. There were now sufficient funds in the council bank account for the councillors to reduce the rates the village residents were paying by twenty five percent! What a happy village.
In due course the Appleton house was cleaned up and all the dairying equipment removed. Native trees and flowers were re-planted and the property was opened up to the public as had been requested by Mrs Appleton when she had died.
Reserve land was retained as reserve land and the stream remained pollution free.
Strangely enough, the village over the coming years would prosper. Yes people were attracted by the clean green living and the low rates!