by Ciara Knight
Chapter Twelve
Julie waited at the end of the road with two paddleboards, nervous about sharing more of herself with Trevor. She didn’t like feeling vulnerable. Sure, they kept saying they were friends, but the more time they spent together, the more she was drawn to him. And if she wasn’t mistaken, or brainwashed by Wind, then he thought of her as more than a friend too. Yet, they both clung to that term. It was safe and allowed them to spend time together without the pressure of dating.
The afternoon sun was high in the sky, so she tugged her hat down a little to shield her face from the damaging rays. Her long-sleeved water shirt was hot but would protect her shoulders and arms, and she’d slathered on sunscreen to protect her legs.
Trevor strutted up dressed in swim trunks and a T-shirt along with his cap. She worried he’d burn the back of his neck or his chest and arms since she doubted his T-shirt provided any SPF protection. “Hey, you.”
“Hey. Glad you came.” She shifted between feet, the strap around her ankle that attached to the board scraping at her skin.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Trevor removed his flip flops and tossed them to the side, apparently not worried about anyone taking his stuff anymore. “I’ve got to see this mystery place.”
She decided not to mention the real reason she was worried he wouldn’t show. No need to be all serious. They were headed out for a fun outing. To a place she hadn’t been to in years. “Okay, first things first. Are you wearing sunscreen?”
He nodded. “Yep, face, arms, and legs. Oh, and tops of feet. This isn’t my first rodeo on the ocean. I learned the hard way not to ever go out in the Florida sun without protection. The great sun poisoning incident of 2018 taught me that.” He eyed her foot and then wrapped the strap from the other board around his ankle.
She picked up her board and led him down the rocky road, onto the beach, and out into the water until they reached the coral bottom and finally soft white sand and seaweed. “It’s not a great place to set off from since it’s kind of icky, and it won’t be an easy ride in the chop today, but we should be good. Trust me, the effort will be worth it.”
“I’m intrigued. Only one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve never been on one of these before.” He stood there with a broad smile, eyeing the board as if he was about to mount a bucking whale shark.
“Don’t worry. We can sit first. Trust me, anyone can do that. If not, then we’re in trouble. After that, we’ll try up on our knees, and then we can try standing.” She straddled the board and started paddling forward so he could have room to get on his.
He picked up his paddle and lifted one leg over the board. A strong gust of wind came through, sending his board sideways. A wave rushed in. He abandoned the paddle and grabbed on to the edges, attempting to stay upright, but it rolled, dunking him under another wave.
He popped up to the surface, swiped his face of water, and snagged his floating hat. “Not a good sign.”
She rowed to his side, retrieved the paddle, and held his board still.
“What did you say? If I can’t sit on the board I’m in trouble?” He coughed, put his hat inside out to release the water, and then plopped it back onto his head.
“Don’t listen to me. I say a lot of stupid things like you can’t have zip ties.” She wanted to suck the words back in, but obviously she needed to get them out or they were going to haunt her all day.
He rested his hand on her thigh. “Hey, no worries. We’ll both get past our issues. It takes time and practice, right?”
A new light shone inside her, forcing the dark clouds from where they had settled three years ago, and the tension in her shoulders let go. “Right.” She savored his touch instead of pulling away because it felt tender, friendly, and safe.
He grabbed both sides of the board, leaving her feeling the cold where his hand was sitting a moment earlier. On the first try, he managed to beat an incoming wave and slide his chest up so he lay flat. After the next wave, he sat up, straddling the board with a broad, I-conquered-it-and-so-can-you kind of smile.
She held out his paddle. “Good job. Almost as good as you did talking to all the people in town. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were starting to care more about the town and less about the big business.”
“Can’t I have both?”
“I guess. Within reason.” She paddled, leading him along the shoreline until they reached the shortest part of the river, where she waited for him to pull up beside her.
Their feet touched under the water, and neither of them moved away from each other this time. It was progress. And out here, in the freedom of the ocean, she didn’t feel the pull of her former life as much. “Okay, we cross here. It’ll be easier up on your knees, but you can manage sitting, no problem.”
He eyed the distance. “Ah, how about I go get my powerboat and we zip on over there?”
“Can’t. Too shallow on the other side. You can only swim or paddleboard, or go to the other side where you’d have to anchor and swim, but that side is rocky and dangerous with the current.”
He sighed. “Paddling it is.”
She popped up on her knees to show him how, and he followed suit and found his balance before they hit the waves in the river. Good thing it was off season so there was no boat traffic in their area to speak of. “You’ll have to paddle hard at the middle of the river,” she shouted back over her shoulder.
Her upper body grew tired from the angle, so she popped up on her feet with no issue. Before she had a chance to tell Trevor not to stand, he had already splashed into the water. This time he kept hold of his paddle and managed to get himself up onto the board again.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” He waved her ahead since she was already in the center of the Banana River and the current swept her away from the canal entrance ahead.
She managed to row until she reached the other side, hoping he was doing okay. Once across, she turned to find him standing and rowing like a pro. Well, maybe not in stance, but he was standing. He was adorable, the way he wobbled and wiggled to stay on the board and wouldn’t give up.
She waited for him at the entrance to the canal. Her heart fluttered with excitement. This was the spot where all the important things with her friends had happened when they were teenagers. They’d come here for book club, turned boy gossip, turned life-decision-making chats. She hadn’t been here for years, not since she’d taken her daughter out here for a picnic when her first boyfriend had dumped her.
The waves beat against the rocky shore on the exposed side of the island, but she settled into a sweet spot near the overhanging trees. He managed to reach her side, and they rafted up to each other, sitting at the overgrown entrance. “Okay, now you need to pinky swear that you’ll never tell anyone about this place. Not even Dustin. I might lose my friendship membership for even taking a guy here.” She held out her pinky, expecting him to look at her like she’d grown fins, but he locked his pinky with hers.
“I so do swear.”
She blinked at him as if that would help her see him better in an emotional way. “How’d you know how to do that?”
“Sisters. Lots of them. I was the only boy. Pinky swears were commonplace in my house.” He released her pinky but kept hold of her hand so they could remain together. “But I have a question for you.”
“What’s that?” she asked, noticing he’d put back on his serious expression.
“Do you really want to share this place with me? I know I said I wanted to see it, but if it’s important to you and you want to keep it to yourself, that’s okay.” His thumb grazed her knuckles, soothing her into a stupor for a moment.
“I want to share it. Don’t worry. No guilt here. As long as you never share it with anyone else, we’re good.” She tightened her grip so he couldn’t move away. It had been over thirty years since the girls had sworn not to share their hidden oasis with anyone else. Certainly there was a statute of limitations on that
rule and it had expired long ago. “You know, if you want to talk about your ex-wife, I’m fine with that. I’m your friend, and I don’t want this to be a one-way thing. You have stuff to get through, too.”
“Listen, that marriage might have been to the wrong person, but—”
“But it still hurts when it breaks up,” she offered, keeping him from belittling his grief.
“To be honest, at this moment, the only thing I’m sad about is upsetting you yesterday.”
“I wasn’t mad at you.” She studied the way his hand felt around her fingers. The strength and tenderness all at once.
“What is it?” he asked in the softest of tones. “I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
She let out an uneasy chuckle. “You’re such a man. You can’t fix me like you fix a boat.”
“I can try. That’s why I was giving you space. I thought I’d made you uncomfortable yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” She rose a brow.
“Yeah, you know, when you caught me…showering.”
She laughed, this time with humor. “No. Well, yes, but not for the reason you think. I was uncomfortable because of the way I felt after seeing you. And then when you brought Houdini back to me, it was so kind and considerate. You’re the perfect package for more than friends, but I can’t go there. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Because of my ex? Don’t think about her. I don’t anymore,” Trevor said with such ease, she believed him.
“No. Because of my husband.” She wet her lips, as if to prepare them so the words would flow without restraint. “Yesterday, I was going through his things. Everyone says I need to move on since it’s been three years, and then I met you. And this was the first time I ever thought perhaps I’d want to. But how do I forget a man I spent all those years with, the father of my child?”
“You don’t have to.” He squeezed her hand as if to make her hear his words. “I’m not going to pressure you to do that.”
“I know. That’s not the problem. You don’t make me feel like I want to run from you. It’s just that when you asked for those zip ties, I hit a wall head-on.”
“I should’ve never asked—”
“They’re only zip ties. It should’ve been no big deal, but it was. Those were Joe’s. How do I take something from the man of my past to give to a man of my future?” A realization rattled through her. It was never about the zip ties.
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry if I asked for something of Joe’s. I promise you that I don’t want to replace him.”
“You didn’t make me feel that way at all. It wasn’t you. It’s the guilt. Or the fact that I didn’t feel guilty, which made me feel even more guilt.” It was her turn to squeeze his hand. “Don’t you see? It wasn’t the zip ties I couldn’t give you that once belonged to him. They were only a symbol of the real issue.”
“Then what was it?” He lifted his sunglasses up on his head, as if he had to let her see his sincerity.
“Me. How do I give myself to another man? I was his for so long. It should feel like a betrayal, but when I saw you yesterday and I felt…awake for the first time in years, I didn’t feel guilty. I only felt invigorated and alive for the first time since his passing. It made me realize I had to face letting Joe go. Only, I don’t know how. I thought I had let him go years ago. And I have, but I can’t let go of the promise I’d made on our wedding day.” She took in a stuttered breath. “I know it’s not cheating, and I know you don’t need this drama, so that’s why I pushed you away. I’m not the drama type, and I’d never bring that to someone else.”
He pressed his lips to her knuckles and looked at her with soft eyes. “I won’t push you. Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here.”
“Will you?” Tears broke through, and she hated herself for crying, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Trevor said, as if his words were all she needed to hear.
“Joe wasn’t supposed to leave me either, but he did. I know that sounds selfish, but one minute he was here and the next he wasn’t. I don’t think I can face losing someone like that again.” She slipped her fingers free and lifted her chin. “So friends.”
He looked straight at her and said, “No. I won’t be your friend.”
Chapter Thirteen
Trevor wanted to take her into his arms and tell her he wanted so much more than friendship, but besides the fact that he knew it could frighten her away, he thought he’d fall off the dang paddleboard again. “I don’t want to be your friend because I think you’re worth the wait for more. I’m not going anywhere. Joe couldn’t help what happened. If he could, I know he’d still be here. And I can’t promise nothing will happen to me, but I can tell you now that nothing else will pull me away. I won’t vanish on you or leave you. You can trust me. I’m not in any hurry. We’ll be more than friends, but only as much as you want to be.”
Her shoulders dropped from her ears, and she let out a breath. “Thank you.” She looked as if he’d removed a tanker ship from her shoulders. “I haven’t dated in a really long time, so this is all new to me. Wind told me that if I wasn’t careful, I’d be placed in the friend zone permanently.”
“Ha! No. I won’t place you there.” He wanted to lighten the mood and get her to relax around him to see it would be easy and not overly complicated or stressful to be more than friends with him, so he took his paddle and splashed her with some water.
“Hey. What was that for?”
“For making me stand up on this board and cross to this canal when it appears as if there is plenty of water to get through here if I raised the engine on the dinghy.”
“The water used to be shallower. It’s been a few years since I came to Friendship Beach.”
“Well, this place better be as magical as you say it is, or you owe me big-time.”
She paddled into the canal that was overgrown by trees arching over the water. “Oh really. And what would I owe you?”
“A kiss.” Oh, how he wanted that more than anything, but he shouldn’t have said it.
She splashed him this time. “I’m not that easy. I was always told not to kiss a boy on the first date.”
“Wow, it has been a long time for you. In case you didn’t notice, I’m not a boy, I’m a man.”
“Oh, I noticed. Naked, remember?”
Her words caused a heat to surge through him, and not from embarrassment this time. He pushed a low-hanging tree branch out of the way for them to paddle under. “Oh, I remember you watching me. Weren’t you taught staring’s rude?” She paddled faster, indicating that she was probably embarrassed, but he wouldn’t let it go that easily. “Let’s get back to the date part.”
“Date?” she asked, keeping her attention forward and ducking under branches.
“Yeah, you said this is our first date.” He nudged the back of her paddleboard, making it teeter.
“Ah, don’t do that.”
“Why? Scared of a little water?”
“Not so much the water, but that alligator over there makes me want to stay on this board.”
He followed her gaze over to the cement wall that reached from the water to the grass line and wished she hadn’t told him. Two eyes and a hump of a head peered over the water, but it didn’t move. “That’s not good. Aren’t they aggressive?”
“They can be. Let’s just say, don’t try to stand up and we should get moving.” She paddled a little faster and kept her eye on the gator across the canal.
The mosquitoes swooped in, nipping at his ears and neck. “No wonder no one knows about this place. You have to risk getting a foot chewed off by a gator or malaria from all the mosquitoes.”
She turned the board around a bend. “Almost there. And trust me, it’ll be worth it. Most amazing spot in the world.”
The tree canopy opened up at the bend in the canal, but when they reached a small beach, she stopped, mid-paddle.
“What’s wrong? Another gator?” he ask
ed, although he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“Worse.” She pointed ahead. “Look.”
He rowed up beside her and found a bunch of plastic bottles and trash washed up on the sandy shore and floating at the water’s edge.
“It’s ruined. How did this happen?” She rowed through the trash, pulled her paddleboard up onto the beach, and unstrapped her leg.
“I’m so sorry. It looks like ocean trash washed up here.” He pulled his own board through the trash and onto the beach, thankful to be out of the murky, gator-occupied water. The other side, overlooking a lagoon, was breathtaking. If only they could reach it another way, but the jagged rocks beyond the lagoon appeared to block the entrance. “I can see what you mean, though. You have wide-open ocean on one side with protruding rocks to keep people from entering this lagoon, and on the other side the canal that is shielded by trees so it isn’t noticeable from the river. It’s perfectly isolated and beautiful.”
“No. It’s awful.” Her voice cracked. “Dirty. It was once pure and clean and amazing.” She shook her head, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes. This place had been so special to her, and she’d tried to share it with him. “Everything around me has changed. I thought this one spot had been preserved, but I was wrong.”
“We can clean it up. I’ll help,” he offered, taking her into his arms to soothe her pain. “It’ll be an oasis again.”
She didn’t push him away. Instead she cuddled into him, resting her cheek to his chest. He was sure she could hear his heartbeat hammering against his sternum. In that moment, despite the mosquitoes swarming them, or the fact he knew there was a gator out there waiting for a snack, or the brackish-smelling water, he never wanted to move, because that would mean letting her go, even if only for a moment. He didn’t like that idea.