by Ruby Dixon
I try not to study him too closely, because then he'll know I'm watching him, but after living around S'bren for the last couple of months, it's like I'm suddenly seeing him for the first time. And I try to understand who and what he is. Of all the Tall Horn tribe, he's the broadest. R'jaal is the tallest, but S'bren is like a boulder of strength, a wall of muscle with big, fierce horns. His brother M'tok has an almost sharp look to his face, but S'bren is all broadness, his features big. He’s got the enormous sweep of horns that’s the hallmark of all the Tall Horn clan, but there’s also something youthful and almost sweet about his broad, almost brutish features. Like sure, he’s a mountain of a person, but he’s a friendly mountain.
He comes to my side a short time later and holds a cup out to me. “I made you tea.”
“Oh, thanks.” He’s been shoving tea at me all morning, but how can I refuse?
He thinks for a moment, then leans in. “This one is a surprise flavor.”
My senses go on alert. Uneasy, I stare at the cup. “Surprise like…surprise, this is earthworm flavor? Are you pranking me?”
S’bren stiffens and he looks completely wounded. “I would not give you something bad. You told F’lor you like surprises. I am surprising you.”
He walks away, leaving me holding the “surprise” tea. I look around but no one else is drinking anything. Angie’s absently nursing her newborn on the far side of the fire and talking to Vordis, their heads together. Willa’s tasting the breakfast at the nearby cookfire and laughing at something her big ugly mate says. S’bren is gone. If it’s a trick, he’s not sticking around to see the results.
You told F’lor you like surprises.
Did I? I don’t remember. F’lor’s so easy to talk to, so laughing, that sometimes we just ramble about nothing in particular. Was S’bren listening in? He’s always lurking around somewhere lately, it seems.
I sniff the tea, and a caramel scent touches my nose. There’s a hraku seed at the bottom of the cup, along with some of the other herbs, I realize, and I take a sip. Oh wow. It’s delicious. S’bren’s a tea maestro.
And…he knows I like surprises.
For some reason, I’m totally touched. He remembered something I told someone else on the fly and used it to be nice to me. And…gosh. It’s flattering. For the first time in a long time, it’s like someone’s seeing me. They’re thinking of Penny instead of just Penny’s big bouncy braless boobs.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being a pretty pair of tits. I mean, it’s the first time in my life I’ve been hot stuff. I’ve always been larger than a lot of girls and so I’ve been buddies with more guys than I’ve been a girlfriend. Here, it’s gratifying to get so much male attention—I completely understand why Tia is addicted—but it’s also nice to be seen as just me.
When S’bren returns a short time later with a fur blanket for my legs, I beam a smile at him. “I liked the surprise tea.”
He gives me a jerky nod, won’t meet my eyes, and tucks the blanket quickly around me, his forehead flushed at the base of his horns.
Well, if I’m hurting, there are worse things than being doted on by a guy, even if he is a little awkward at times.
4
S’BREN
P’nee’s ankle takes many days to heal, so I do not leave her side. It does not matter that I miss out on a hunt with T’shen or fishing with my brother. I will not abandon P’nee for a moment, because every time I do, I think of O’jek and I’rec squabbling with their nets while the vine-limbed creature pulls my female under the water.
I chase away the others that try to talk to her, too. O’jek appears with a string of fish as an apology, and before he can give it to P’nee, I push in front of her and growl at him.
“She is resting her leg. What is she going to do with your fish?”
O’jek raises a hand in quiet apology, backing away. “You are right. I will dry it and return with my gift another day.”
“It’s okay,” P’nee calls cheerfully. “Thank you anyhow, O’jek. Thought that counts and all that.”
I bite back my frown. The Shadow Cat males have noticed me tending to P’nee for days now. I have chased them off every time they approached, and they cast pouty looks in my direction like sullen kits. Good. Let them bother another female. This one is mine.
I follow him a few steps to make sure he does not return, and then circle back around the fire, watching my female silently as I pretend to get more fuel for the firepit.
“That was nice of him,” P’nee says to L’z as they sit by the fire. “I haven’t been able to pull my fair share since I hurt my ankle.”
L’z makes a noise that might be irritation as she puts her infant to her teat, feeding it. Her other daughters are at her feet, and she looks tired as she leans over and hands her kits spoons so they can eat. “Get used to it.”
P’nee frowns just a little, her pretty face drawing into an unhappy expression. “What do you mean?”
L’z rubs her face and then rocks the kit at her teat. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired and cranky. Raahosh is out checking traps and everyone’s in a fussy mood this morning.” She eyeballs her kits with a warning look as the oldest one at her feet pokes at her food. “And I’m feeling restless myself. He’s out hunting and I’m stuck here at camp until this little one is big enough to not mind a day jostling in the sling with mama.” She pats the baby’s back.
“You miss hunting?” P’nee’s voice is full of sympathy.
L’z laughs, the sound tired. “God, yes. I love these rugrats, but some are easier than others. Ahsoka is definitely not an easy baby.” She glances down at the nursing kit. “Resonance is awesome, but sometimes you just want to stretch your legs and enjoy a good walk through the snow without your tits leaking and someone tugging on your tunic and wanting a snack.” She licks her thumb and leans over again, wiping away at a smear on A’yla’s face. The little female squirms and makes a noise of protest.
P’nee looks unsettled. “I thought you liked resonance.”
“Oh, girl, I do.” L’z gives her a smile. “But you’re talking to me on a morning when I haven’t slept for half the night because this one had a tummy ache.” She pats the baby’s back again as it nurses. “And these two are up at dawn and need breakfast, and everything’s leaking and I haven’t been laid in forever because I had a baby and so I’m a cranky-ass mess.”
“You said a bad word, Mommy,” R’shel chimes in.
“I sure as fuck did, sweetie. Eat your breakfast.”
My female—because she will be mine—giggles. “I didn’t think about it that way. Whenever I think about it, it’s just…” She sighs, and the sound goes straight to my groin. “Romantic, you know? Like your khui has been searching for your soulmate and when you resonate, everything’s made clear. The universe lines up and shows you your one true love—”
L’z snorts. “Tell that to M’tok and Callie.”
“Callie’s not a romantic,” P’nee says dreamily. “And she hasn’t made any effort to get to know him. I’m trying to get to know everyone so when resonance happens for me, it won’t be a surprise. It’ll be welcome.”
“Well, it’ll happen for you,” L’z says. “I haven’t seen a single woman that it hasn’t happened for yet. I’m thinking it’s just a matter of time. Until then, enjoy your freedom and enjoy all that hunting. Because babies change everything.” She thinks for a moment, then leans over and kisses the yellow mane of one of the girls sitting at her feet. “Not that Mommy doesn’t love you fiercely.”
“Mommy just likes hunting, too,” R’shel adds, as if this is something she hears regularly.
L’z chuckles. “Amen. And Raahosh is terrible at breast feeding.”
The women giggle. I arrange the cakes of dung fuel with the tongs, pretending to look busy. Instead, I think of all the things P’nee has just said. She wants to resonate. She wants a mate. She thinks it will be wonderful. In this, she is very different from my brother’s mate. Hot longing
fills my chest.
I want to be the one to resonate to P’nee. More than anything. It will destroy me if she resonates to another right before my eyes.
But can I keep the others away from her forever? So she will resonate to me and only me? Already O’jek and I’rec are giving me irritated looks. They want to approach her. They want to watch her bright smile and how her teats jiggle when she laughs. They want my female.
The tongs snap in my hand, the crack of the bone implements overloud in the camp.
“You can quit creeping around in the background,” L’z calls out to me. “We’re done talking about girl stuff.”
“For now,” P’nee adds, but the smile on her face gentles the tease. “You going to come sit with us or just hover back there?”
I think for a moment, then see U’dron approaching in the distance. Another Shadow Cat clan member. Likely he is going to come and try to talk to P’nee. “Hover back here,” I say absently, tossing the now-broken tongs down.
At least behind her, P’nee cannot see the glares I send in U’dron’s direction.
Days pass. I continue to protect P’nee, but as her ankle has healed, she has grown impatient with my hovering. She is kind about it, but I can tell she is restless and does not want the furs and tea I ply her with. She watches the distant shore, or watches the groups as they head off for a hunt or return to the camp.
And then one day, she wants to go hunting again. When I arrive to the women’s cave to carry her to the fire, I find that she is not in her furs. Frantic, I search the camp — and find her leaving with N’deen and Th’rand to go hunting.
Frustrated, I storm to P’nee’s side and when she gives me a look of greeting, I reach over and pluck the spear from her grip.
“What the fuck, S’bren?”
“You do not hunt, P’nee. Your ankle—”
“Oh my god, it’s fine!” She makes a huffing sound and reaches for the spear. “Veronica says I’m clear to do whatever.”
“You should stay off of it for another handful of days. Rest.” I hold the spear over her head so she cannot reach it, no matter how much she grabs at it. “She is wrong.”
P’nee bites her lip and glances over at her friends. She grabs my arm instead of reaching for her spear and steers me away. “Don’t be weird, S’bren, okay? I really appreciate you being so nice and taking care of me, but I swear I know how to handle myself.” She gives me a comforting little pat. “Now give me my spear. I’m going hunting.”
“Wait and I will go with you.”
Impatience crosses her face. “Some other time. Thrand is going with us today.”
I want to protest, but she is not limping. And the healer says she is fine. I mostly just wish to stay at her side, but I cannot think of a good reason why I should go with them if I am not invited. I glance over at the male, Th’rand. He stands close to N’deen and I know she is the female he is interested in, not P’nee.
At least she is not spending time with clan Shadow Cat. I hand back the spear reluctantly. “Just Th’rand. No one else.”
“You’re not my dad.”
“No, I am not.” It is a very odd thing to say.
N’deen chuckles and P’nee’s lips twitch. She gives me a little wave and then walks off with her friends to go hunting. As they leave, I hear N’deen speak as she leans over to P’nee. “That was odd. What was that all about?”
“Heck if I know.”
I want to follow her out into the snowy hills. I want to lurk a safe distance behind and just watch over her. Make certain that she’s safe. But I know it would irritate her. She has been snappish with me today, as if my constant presence is unsettling her. I need to let her have room to breathe, as G’hail kindly suggested when she saw me hovering near the fire, watching P’nee.
I can say I was just hunting and happened to follow the same trails as them…but P’nee would be frustrated. So I will fish this day, I decide. I will fish, I will capture the largest, most impressive fish I can, and present it to her for dinner. Perhaps I will find a special-looking shell and slip it into her sleeping furs. She likes surprises, after all.
This makes me feel better, but only slightly. I am distracted and unsettled as I fling my nets out, trying to keep one eye on the distant camp so I can watch for P’nee’s return. V’za arrives and tells me a story, but I only half-listen. I am too busy thinking about my female and trying to catch her the best-looking fish on the beach.
I wish she was easier to talk to, like D’vi. I could point out the large scales on this fish, or how this one holds his young in his mouth until he is in danger, and then releases them for other predators to eat. D’vi is easy to talk to because she just wants to know about creatures.
But P’nee likes surprises.
And things like wed-hings. G’hail told me about those, too. Where a female covers herself in an ornate dress and hides her face from the male who speaks words about mating her. The male puts metal on her hand and she holds flowers and then they mate in front of an audience.
Humans sound…strange.
Even so, I cannot stop thinking about P’nee. About peeling all of those leathers off of her—even the ones on her face to hide her from her mate—and taking her. I would mate with her even before an audience. I would use my big body to shield her smaller one from their sight, but if having P’nee for forever meant claiming her for the first time in front of others? I would be between her thighs in a heartbeat.
Perhaps that is why she is impatient with me? Because I have shown interest but have stood back and waited for her to approach me? Perhaps I should have been covering her head and shoving metal into her hand? Gathering the tribe so I can show her to them and then push my face into her cunt?
I am sweating despite the cold, icy waters. Human females are so complicated.
I think about this even as V’za finishes his tale and my brother M’tok wanders away. I think about wed-hings and P’nee and a great many things. I think about what V’za said about R’hosh stealing his mate. Perhaps L’z was so angry at him because he did not claim her in front of the others and she wanted the ceremony? But many others have mated with humans and thus far, no one has publicly mated.
At least, not when I was watching.
When it is dark, my brother grabs my arm and pulls me aside so we can talk privately. He leads me toward his hut, and when it is quiet and we are alone, he speaks. M’tok keeps thinking of V’za’s story, too. And he asks me if I think P’nee resonates to another. If that is why she is so impossible over the last few days.
The thought makes me tremble with rage. I think of O’jek covering her face and then pushing between her thighs and…I want to break something. More bones. Wood. A rock. O’jek.
“I want her,” I tell my brother grimly.
“Then we do not wait for the females to be sensible. It is clear human females are many things, but sensible and practical are not traits they possess. So we must be the sensible ones.” M’tok says this all with such authority, even as he begins to pack a bag.
He has a plan, I realize. A big one. He is no longer going to wait for his female to come to reason. He is going to do something about it.
I lean in. “What do you have in mind, brother?”
“We steal them. Just like R’hosh stole his mate. We take our females far from this camp, and out to somewhere safe. Somewhere private. A hunter cave.” His eyes are full of fire, his shoulders taut. “When they are away from camp, they will be forced to depend on us for food and fire, and shelter. They will not know how to return and they will have to stay with us until we decide to bring them back.” His smile is triumphant. “After resonance, of course.”
I am skeptical. This will work for C’lie, perhaps, who is not a hunter, but P’nee is independent. “I do not think P’nee will get lost. Nor do I think she will go quietly with me.”
I do not even mention C’lie, who starts screeching in another language the moment she sees M’tok. She hates my brother fierc
ely and refuses to acknowledge resonance. My brother has been very patient, though. It sounds like his patience is at an end.
I understand this.
Now that I have had P’nee’s smiles, I feel their lack keenly. I want her to choose S’bren to go hunting with, not N’deen and Th’rand. I want her to come to me with stories, or to come to me to learn how to fish. Not O’jek.
Never O’jek.
M’tok rubs the scruff on his chin, thinking. “C’lie is not good at quiet, either. We will need to think of a way to silence them.”
I consider this, too. “I do not think I want to hit P’nee over the head with a rock. She is fragile and that will hurt her.”
My brother shakes his head, hissing. “Not a rock. Something else.” He looks around, then casts his gaze on a clump of dried roots he has hung from the ceiling of his hut. “Tea,” he says.
“Tea,” I echo. I am not the clever brother, so this makes no sense to me. “We…give them so much tea they will be quiet because they are drinking?”
“Because we put visshek into their tea.”
Oh. That makes more sense. Even so… “I am sure that P’nee will not drink it if she knows visshek is in her tea. She will wonder why I am putting her to sleep.”
My brother grabs the back of my neck and pulls me forward, looking me in the eye. “That is why you do not tell her first, S’bren.”
Ah.
This is why my brother is the clever one. “When?”
“Soon. We will need to wait for the right moment.” His eyes get crafty. “We will need to prepare.”
“Do you think this will work?”
“It is a good plan,” he tells me.
I am not so certain. It sounds like P’nee will be mad at me when she wakes up, but…perhaps I will cover her head to show her I will give her a wed-hing? Then when she agrees, we can mate before the tribe when we return.