To Save a Love

by Aston, Alexa

  “I knew Miss Stone,” Anna said. “Patients were not allowed to speak to one another but we did so on rare occasions. She was a lovely woman but stayed in trouble with the staff, much as I did, because she rebelled against the treatments.”

  Jefferson grimaced. “I have learned of some of those treatments.” He paused. “Would you be willing to speak to me about them? And the conditions at Gollingham?” He looked at Dez. “I have already learned from my investigations that you and Lord Morton have been able to remove his daughter from the place and that she was granted an annulment from Lord Jergens.”

  “You are remarkably well informed,” Dez said.

  Jefferson shrugged. “I have a way with people, drawing them out. And when that doesn’t work, I have learned a sufficiently greased palm will loosen all manner of tongues.”

  She turned to her husband. “We should help him.”

  “I agree,” Dez said quietly. “We will share what we know with you, Mr. Jefferson. I have had a Bow Street Runner working on our behalf. I will have him summoned.”

  He rang for Johnson and told the butler to send a message to Haggard to return at once.

  “While we wait for Mr. Haggard’s arrival, I will answer your questions,” Anna said.

  “Thank you, Lady Torrington. I am writing a series of articles exposing the treatment of patients in madhouses, as well as how they came to be there. A goodly portion of patients institutionalized are women, placed their by husbands or fathers who did so to silence their voices or opinions. Females in our society are naturally rendered more vulnerable based upon our laws. If not submissive?” Jefferson shrugged. “They are controlled in these asylums, whether sane or not.”

  “They are terrible places. At least Gollingham was,” she began. “Our nights were spent in cramped, cell-like rooms with poor ventilation. They would tie us to the beds with ropes, saying that prevented anti-social behaviors and kept us from harming ourselves or one another.”

  “With a straitjacket?” Jefferson asked.

  “Sometimes. Those would bind our arms to our bodies and prevent movement but we were still often bound to the beds in addition to being restrained by the straitjackets. Left to soil ourselves.”

  “How did the staff treat you?” he asked gently.

  “Brutality and neglect were common. We were constantly told we were demented and that there was no cure for what was wrong with us. We were merely to be confined, away from our families and society. We were abused both physically and mentally. The food mostly consisted of a gruel broth, with the occasional spoiled beef provided. Dirty, undrinkable water accompanied each meal.”

  “How did you spend your days?”

  She swallowed. “In silence. Sitting upon hard benches for twelve hours or longer. Waste was everywhere. Rats scurried about freely.”

  “Were you punished for speaking to others?”

  “Always,” she said vehemently, her insides tightening.

  Dez took her hand, stroking it with his thumb, calming her.

  She continued to answer Jefferson’s questions until Mr. Haggard arrived. Dez gave the runner permission to share all he had learned and the two men spoke back and forth quickly, sharing information.

  “I don’t need your permission,” Jefferson said, “but I would ask your blessing. I am ready to go to print with this.”

  Anna turned to her husband. “If we can help even one woman . . .” Her voice trailed off.

  He nodded and looked to the journalist. “Go ahead.”

  “I will protect you as best as I can, Lady Torrington,” Jefferson said. “I will not name you as a source regarding what I will write but your name will be mentioned as having been a patient at Gollingham.”

  “Go ahead,” she said boldly. “I have my life back, thanks to my husband and cousin.”

  Jefferson said, “I hope my investigative work will be able to free Miss Stone and possibly others. Comparing notes with Mr. Haggard, neither of us can find any physician who diagnosed Miss Stone as mad. I believe she was placed there merely on her brother’s word, in order for him to gain access to the school and monies left to her by her father.

  “You are a very brave woman, Lady Torrington,” he continued. “To share with me the horrific conditions you endured.”

  “I hope something good will come from your articles, Mr. Jefferson,” she said. She rose. “Thank you for coming.”

  Knowing they were dismissed, both Jefferson and Haggard left the drawing room. Dez pulled her into his arms.

  “You have more courage than any man I ever saw on the battlefield, my love. I want us to raise our children with conviction. To teach them to always do the right thing. I want our girls to know they are as valued and loved as our boys.” His palm flattened against her belly. “This little one, son or daughter, will have two parents who will give it our love. Our time. I want our children to grow up free to express their opinions to us, while at the same time learning to always be kind to others.

  She touched his cheek. “You are a remarkable man, Desmond Bretton. I doubt a handful of men in Polite Society would feel as you do. It’s just one of the reasons I love you so very much.”

  He kissed her and then said with a smile, “I would enjoy showing you how much I love you, Lady Torrington. I believe you were to take a nap before we were interrupted by our unexpected guest.”

  Anna laughed. “Let us keep the world at bay for a few hours then.”

  Dez swept her into his arms, carrying her to their bedchamber, and did just that.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Dez awoke to a bloodcurdling shriek. Anna thrashed on the bed, in the grips of a terrible nightmare. Coral rushed in and ran to the bed, halting when he saw Anna’s arms striking out violently at empty space.

  The valet blanched but quickly said, “What can I do, my lord?”

  “Nothing, Coral. Go,” he commanded and the servant sadly turned away, quietly closing the door as he exited the bedchamber.

  Dez captured his wife’s wrists and lowered them to her sides, securing them there.

  “Wake up, Anna, my darling. Wake up. You are with me. Dez. Your husband. Wake up, sweetheart.”

  Her eyes flew open, darting about as she quickly assessed her surroundings. Slowly, the tension eased from her body. He released her wrists and lay beside her, pulling her close. Even now, her heart beat rapidly, like a wild animal caught in a trap, thumping against his bare chest. Dez didn’t speak. He merely held her to him, hoping to warm her chilled body. After some minutes, he no longer could feel the pounding of her heart against him and he sensed her relaxing.

  “Another nightmare?” he asked.

  Anna continued to have bad dreams about her time in the madhouse. They had seemed to lessen in frequency, however. The intensity of this one bothered him.

  “Yes,” she finally replied. “I thought I was getting better. I am afraid talking with Mr. Jefferson yesterday brought up things I had locked away.”

  “You don’t have to see or speak to Jefferson again, my love,” Dez said, hoping to soothe her.

  “No. It’s all right. If I can help him to gain the release of even one woman existing in that living Hell, then I want to continue to see him and assist in whatever way I can.” She smiled up at him. “Besides, I have the most handsome, loving husband in the world to offer me comfort and chase away the lingering feelings of my nightmares.”

  He hated that the reporter’s visit had caused another setback in Anna’s recovery but Dez knew his wife must follow her heart and do what she could to liberate any patient she had known.

  “I dreamed of Matron again,” Anna said. “Above all the others, she haunts me most.”

  “Perhaps because of her extreme cruelty,” he suggested. “Your most terrible experiences were at her hands.”

  “I suppose so. I wonder why she took such joy in tormenting those under her care.”

  He kissed her temple. “She wasn’t caring for you or any of the others, sweetheart. She m
ade no attempts to help heal anyone. Matron was merely a jailor, keeping innocent women prisoners.”

  She remained quiet in his arms for several minutes and then softly said, “Make love to me. It helps me to remember I am free and alive.”

  Their lovemaking began slow and tender but became more frantic. Dez could understand why. After a battle, men wanted to prove they were still alive and had cheated death. Many soldiers sought out camp doxies for that very reason. Lovemaking was the ultimate physical experience. Anna had come through an entire war during her stay at Gollingham. Wanting to assert herself through making love was a natural extension of proving to herself that she was free from the dark shadows of the madhouse.

  She slipped from her bed and shrugged into her dressing gown. “I have certainly worked up an appetite,” she joked. “I will meet you downstairs for breakfast.”

  She cut through this dressing room to return to her own bedchamber. Dez rang for Coral.

  “Is Lady Torrington all right?” the valet asked, his concern obvious.

  “She will be. It simply will take time to get over what she went through.”

  “Lady Torrington has you in her corner, my lord,” the servant said. “I can think of no greater champion to spur her on.”

  Dez went to Anna’s rooms and found her about to leave.

  “Good,” he said, slipping her arm through his. “I am in time to escort my beautiful wife to breakfast.”

  As they came into the breakfast room, Johnson hovered nearby.

  “What is it?” Dez asked the butler.

  “The morning newspapers, my lord. They are on the table.” He lowered his voice and leaned close. “You and Lady Torrington are mentioned in them. Thanks to that reporter,” he added with disdain.

  He stared down the servant until Johnson flinched.

  “Do you have a problem working in this household, Johnson?”

  Panic filled the butler’s face. “No, my lord. Never. I live to serve you and the countess.”

  Anna said smoothly, “Thank you for letting us know, Johnson. It was very thoughtful of you.”

  She moved to take her seat and the butler pulled out her chair and pushed it up once she had sat upon it.

  “I believe I will take two poached eggs this morning with my toast,” she said airily. “And tea now.”

  Johnson looked to a footman, who brought the teapot over and poured the brew into her cup.

  “Coffee for me,” Dez said abruptly and the second footman responded quickly. “A rasher of bacon and three eggs for me, Johnson.”

  “At once, my lord.”

  The butler hurried off and he and Anna doctored their drinks the way they liked them. He noticed how she added an additional sugar cube, something she had never done before the baby.

  “Do you really think you can eat two poached eggs?” he asked, clasping her fingers.

  “Not at all,” she said. “I doubt I can force one down but I wanted to give him something to do. He’s quite upset. If the butler or housekeeper are upset, then all the servants are.” Anna smiled. “Johnson is merely looking out for us. He disapproves of us speaking to Mr. Jefferson yesterday.”

  “Remember, we agreed not to care what Polite Society thought. We should do the same for our servants,” he said quietly. He picked up the newspaper Jefferson wrote for. “Shall we?”

  “You read it first,” she told him. “I will look at the gossip column and see what poor soul is being lambasted today.”

  Dez opened the paper and saw the bold headline.

  Horrific Conditions at Gollingham Asylum.

  With a deep breath, he began reading.

  By the time he finished, the breakfast Johnson had brought had grown cold. He motioned for a footman to take it away and asked for more coffee and then dismissed the servants, giving him and his wife privacy for their discussion.

  “Well?” she asked.

  “The piece is very thorough. Jefferson is concise and yet leaves no stone unturned.”

  “Let me read it then.”

  He watched her face as she did, reaching for the toast she’d left untouched and finishing it and her eggs off, along with his coffee.

  She finished and set the newspaper aside.

  “It was bold of him to list the names of all the patients. I wonder if he got that from Haggard,” she mused. “And he does detail Lord Jergens’ role in having his bride committed and the annulment issued by the bishop. Jefferson has excellent sources.”

  “Jergens will be ruined. He already was on shaky ground, owing creditors all over town. No parents will ever allow him to court—much less wed—their daughters. Lady Alice came off as very sympathetic, I thought.”

  “Yes, but we both know how gossip eviscerates people, Dez. Women, in particular, even if they are blameless.”

  He thought she spoke of herself. “His details are comprehensive and precise regarding Miss Stone and the happenings at Stone Academy. I am sure parents will be clamoring to have their children removed.”

  “I like how he asks at the end just how many patients who are kept at Gollingham are actually mad. He pointed out several instances where women were committed solely on the word of a male relative. I wonder how this will affect Fiend and Gollingham?”

  “Who?”

  Anna flushed. “Dr. Cheshire is Fiend. It was my name for him. I did not even dignify him with his title of doctor.”

  “He treated you very badly, didn’t he?” Dez asked softly, his fingers entwining with hers.

  “He did.” Though tears glistened in her eyes, he saw defiance there, as well. “I only hope some of the women mentioned in Mr. Jefferson’s article will be given a second chance by their families.”

  “The authorities may very well become involved,” he said. “Though the Madhouse Act only pertained to asylums in London and its outskirts, Jefferson may have stirred up the proverbial hornet’s nest with his investigation. It wouldn’t surprise me if the local magistrate in Alton decides to take a look for himself.”

  The door opened and an apologetic Johnson said, “Lord Morton and Lady Alice are here, my lord. Do you wish to see them?”

  “Yes, of course,” he said. “Show them to the library. We will be there soon.”

  “Very good, my lord.”

  Anna looked at him worriedly. “Do you think they will be upset about Mr. Jefferson’s article? Perhaps we should have warned them it would be published soon.”

  “He was going to print it regardless. He may have gone to them as he did us and allow them input. We will see.”

  Dez escorted Anna to the library, where Lord Morton was seated with Lady Alice. Both rose and they greeted one another before taking a seat again.

  “I assume you have read the morning newspapers,” Lord Morton began.

  “We have just finished,” he said. Looking to Lady Alice, he asked, “Are you terribly upset, my lady?”

  “Not one whit,” she declared, her smile genuine. “Papa and I are happy this Mr. Jefferson made known what a scoundrel Jergens is. Yes, my annulment is referenced but I believe by next Season, it will be old news and some newer scandal will have taken its place. I plan to partake in the Season again. I’ll be frank, my lord. I want children more than anything in the world. Papa says he will provide me with a generous dowry. I am hopeful there is a good man out there willing to overlook my previous mistake. If not, at least I am free of both Jergens and Gollingham.”

  Anna reached and took Lady Alice’s hand. “You have fortitude and courage, my friend. I do believe you will find the gentleman meant for you.”

  “Are you upset about being mentioned?” Lady Alice asked in return.

  “No,” Anna said firmly. “I hope my plight—and yours—will bring attention to the women wrongfully imprisoned at Gollingham.”

  “I hope that as well,” Lord Morton said. “For now, Alice and I are retreating to the country. London is hot and smells dreadful this time of year. We wanted to come by and tell you both goodbye.”r />
  “We are leaving soon, as well,” Dez shared. “We both prefer the country over town.”

  “Will you return next Season?” the older man asked.

  “It will depend,” he said, not wanting to reveal their news just yet. “I am sure Anna will write to you and tell you of our plans.”

  The two women embraced as the men shook hands. Lord Morton mentioned keeping Haggard on the case for now and Dez agreed. They walked the pair downstairs and to their waiting carriage, waving farewell.

  As they returned inside, Anna asked, “Are you ready to return to Torville Manor because I certainly am.”

  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I have never been more ready to return to the country.”

  *

  Anna was seated on a blanket on the front lawn, her legs stretched out in front of her, her back leaning against Dez’s chest. His arms were gently wrapped around her. A slight bump protruded, marking the presence of the baby growing inside her. They had been back at Torville Manor for almost a month now and her initial sickness every morning had begun to calm. She only occasionally awoke feeling nauseous and had regained her spotty appetite. They had settled into a routine, with Dez learning more about the business of running his country estate from Mr. Lexington, their steward. Anna had worked with Mrs. Abbott, the housekeeper, and Mr. Meadows, the butler, learning the names of servants and the customary practices. She had changed a few things with her husband’s encouragement and had also begun refreshing a few of the rooms that they spent the most time in, including the drawing room, the library, and their bedchamber. She shared one with her husband and enjoyed waking up each morning snuggled close to him.

  “More lemonade?” he asked, bring the cup toward her.

  She sipped the cool, tart liquid, which tasted refreshing in the early afternoon heat. Her eyes began to droop and she gave over to the sleepiness.

  In her ear, Dez said, “Wake up, Anna. It looks as though we have guests coming.”

  She stretched lazily and yawned, allowing her husband to bring her to her feet. An unfamiliar carriage headed up the lane. Their only visitors since they had returned to Surrey had been their neighbors. Anna was growing close to Tom’s wife and getting to know the mature Jessa more, delighting in how her younger sister had turned out.