The vein in his neck throbbed and throbbed. “Fine. But I draw the line at mani-pedis.”
I snorted. “Is that really what you think we do?”
“I also think you discuss shoes and tampon sizes.”
“Tampon sizes?”
He smirked.
I took the balled napkin in my cupholder and lobbed it at him. “Ass.”
He batted it away, then picked it up and stuffed it inside his cupholder.
“Besides, according to you, dating and sex interfere with concentration, so you should really swear both off until after the duel.” I smiled, finding a little pleasure in tossing his words back at him.
“Done.”
The smile skittered off my lips.
“How about we grab dinner this week?”
“Liam . . .”
“Friends have dinner together, don’t they?”
“They do, but—”
“But we can’t?” He got up, gripping his overnight bag so tight his knuckles whitened.
“I’ll have dinner, but not just with you.” I stood and swung my backpack onto my shoulder. “We can go out as a group.”
“Does that group include August?”
“I would hope so.”
His pupils pulsed with annoyance. “Fine, but don’t expect me to make small talk with him.”
“I’m not expecting you to talk to him at all.”
“I’ll ask Matt and Lucas. Some of the girls might come too then. Hope that’s okay.”
“As long as I’m not expected to discuss tampon sizes with them, the more the merrier.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It barely creased the corners of his mouth.
17
After landing, I asked Liam to drop me off at Frank’s.
I realized I hadn’t even phoned ahead to know if Evelyn was home. I assumed she’d be there. I always assumed Evelyn would be there when I needed her.
Sure enough, when I rang the doorbell a little after three, she was the one to sweep the door open, dispersing her familiar scent of menthol and cooking oil.
“Querida!” Her solid arms came around me, and she drew me into her soft chest. “What a beautiful surprise.”
After thoroughly kissing my forehead and cheeks, surely smearing her red lipstick all over my face, she pressed me away and looked me over. Seemed like since we’d moved to Colorado, she was always checking for new bruises or cuts or other signs that I’d been hurt.
When her gaze alighted on my backpack, she asked, “What did Jeb do now?”
“Jeb?”
“You have a backpack.”
“Oh.” She thought I was coming to stay the night. I smiled. “I’m actually just returning from an overnight trip.”
“Overnight?” She cocked one of her thin black eyebrows. “Do I need to sit down for this story?”
My smile increased. “Probably.” The bear hunt returned to me. “Actually, yes. Unless you want me to spare you certain details.”
She paled.
Yeah. She probably didn’t need to hear about the bear.
I took her hand and led her to the couch, and we both took a seat.
“Before you begin telling me, have you had lunch?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I am not asking you if you are hungry. I am asking if you had lunch.”
“I ate a sandwich on the plane.”
“The plane? You took un avión? Where did you go?”
Clasping her lotion-softened hands in between mine, I started from the beginning but left out the midnight battle. Just as I was about to speak to her about August, the front door opened, and Frank traipsed in, forehead glossy with sweat, which he mopped with his forearm.
“Hi, Ness. Heard the trip went well.”
Evelyn spun in her seat. “You knew about the trip and did not tell me?”
“Evelyn, you know I can’t share all the happenings in the pack. And not because I don’t trust you, but because I don’t trust that someone won’t try to get that information out of you.”
Her intake of breath was so turbulent I squeezed her hands.
Frank walked over to the sink and poured himself a glass of water before returning to the living room. “Heard about that hunt of yours,” he said, sinking into one of the armchairs. “Proud of you, kid.”
“What hunt?” Evelyn asked.
I shot Frank a look, which made his gaze widen before dropping to his glass. “Um. The deer. Ness caught a deer.”
“I have never seen you so fascinated by a glass of water, Frank,” Evelyn said.
He tipped up his face, shooting her a rueful look from beneath his bushy white eyebrows.
“It was no ciervo that she hunted, was it?”
Frank tugged at the collar of his sweat-soaked undershirt. “It’s mighty hot out today. I’m going to go shower. You girls probably don’t even want me around.”
Oh, I wanted him around.
I sent tiny imaginary daggers into his back as he walked away.
“Why do I feel like I am going to have an attack to the heart?”
I clutched her fingers a little tighter. “Let me preface this by saying that I’m a hundred percent fine.”
“What. Did. You. Hunt?”
I winced from the brittleness of her tone. “A bear.” I said this really fast and really quietly.
Her black eyes went so wide they looked like eight-balls. “A bear? You hunted un oso?”
“Not all by myself.”
“Is that supposed to reduce my worries?” she asked. “Why?”
“To secure the Rivers’ backing.”
Her lips thinned, vanished. “They made you hunt down a bear? Please tell me you were sitting in a vehicle with a very big pistola.”
I grimaced.
She clapped a hand over her heart. “As un lobo?” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“I believe even the dye I put on my hair will turn white.”
I grinned, but then realized she wasn’t joking, so I swallowed back my smile. “Evelyn, I completely forgot to tell you this, but I ran into a woman at the bank the other day. She asked me if you were looking for work.”
“I do not think I have the energy to clean—”
“Not a housekeeping job. She asked if you’d be interested in becoming the chef in her son’s restaurant.”
Evelyn’s dark eyes grew wider, rounder. “A chef? Me? I am no chef.”
“Are you kidding? You’re the best cook I know.”
A smile played on her red lips. “Do you know many cooks, querida?”
“I know enough of them to appreciate how talented you are.”
Her hand rose to my face and cupped my cheek affectionately.
“Will you at least interview for them?”
“Perhaps.” She lowered her hand. “I will talk about it with Frank. What is the name of the restaurant?”
After I gave her all the details, I steeled my spine and said, “Oh, and I need to talk to you about something else.” I eyed the bedroom door that Frank had closed behind him. “It’s nothing dangerous or worrisome. I just need advice. About boys.”
“Oh.” Surprise drove the fear off her face, and then her reddened lips bent into a smile. “What would you like to know about boys?” she asked, settling against one of the flowered throw pillows.
“I, um . . . I don’t know if you heard but, uh . . .” I loosed a deep breath. “Our kind sometimes develop something called a mating link.”
When the smile drifted off her lips, I understood Frank hadn’t touched upon the subject.
I dragged my hands through my hair. “It’s basically some sort of link that pushes two people to be together. For the continuation of our . . . species.” Her slowly thinning gaze made me suck in a breath. “It doesn’t mean the two people end up together. Mom had one, but she resisted its pull until it vanished. Anyway, I have a link, which will vanish after the Winter Solstice as long as I don’t act upon it.”
Her brow wrinkled. “Act upon it?”
My face became exceedingly warm. “Have sex with the person.”
Her neck seemed to grow a little longer. “Go on.”
I dragged a pillow into my lap and hugged it to me as though it could somehow prevent my navel from pulsing. Because, God, was it pulsing. Was August on his way here? Or was he angry I hadn’t returned his call yet? Or was it just nerves from discussing boys with Evelyn?
“Who are you linked to?”
“August Watt.”
“Isobel’s son?” Her voice went a little high-pitched.
I clutched the pillow tighter.
“But he is almost thirty.”
“Twenty-seven,” I blurted out.
“And you are not even eighteen.”
“I’ll be eighteen next week.”
“Do not get me wrong, August is a fine young man, but you cannot entertain thoughts about dating him, querida. You two are not at all at the same place in your life. You are starting college next week. He has been out of college for years. He has traveled the world. Fought for his country. He surely has had many girlfriends, which means he will expect things from you. He will pressure you—”
“He hasn’t pressured me into anything,” I mumbled,
“Yet. But it will come.” She patted one of my hands. “If you came to ask for my blessing, I cannot give it to you. And it is not because I want to hurt you, but because I want to protect you.”
My bottom lip started wobbling.
“Oh, Ness. Love is not an easy thing, and I cannot imagine a magical link makes it any easier, but you are still so young. The link will fade this winter, and then you will be free.”
The heat in my cheeks filtered into my eyes.
She sighed. “You like him very deeply, don’t you?”
I swallowed. “I do. I’ve always liked him.”
“Then wait a few years. If you still feel this strongly about him once you are done with college, you two will reconnect.”
“That’s in four years. He’ll be thirty-one. What if he gets married?” Ingrid’s face flashed in front of my eyes. I blinked her away.
“If he feels the same way for you as you do for him, he will wait. The same way I waited for Frank, and Frank waited for me after his wife passed away.” She dipped her chin into her neck. “Besides, have you considered what reputation he will have?”
There it was again . . . his reputation.
When a tiny whimper broke out of me, she leaned forward, tugged the pillow out of my hands, and gathered me against her, her palm stroking my hair.
“Think of what people will say about him when they learn he seduced an underage girl. That is not a reputation any man wants to have. He will be judged harshly, and that judgment will cause both of you pain.” As I attempted to stifle my sobs against her slowly rising chest, she added, “Please, Ness, do not be mad at me,” she said this softly, as though her tone might mitigate my pain. “I cannot encourage this relationship—however magical—because you are too precious to me.”
Moment after moment passed in interminable silence.
Hands coasting over my hair, she finally added, “But in the end, it is your decision, not mine. I can only advise you. And whatever you decide, you will always have my love.”
And here I’d come for her blessing.
As I shed tears against her shoulder, I rehashed all that she’d just said.
I’d never much cared about what people thought of me, but I didn’t want the world to turn against August.
Which left me with only one thing to do.
Wade back toward shore before I got in too deep.
18
I got home a little before dinnertime, having moped away the afternoon with Evelyn who tried her best to cheer me up with episodes of her favorite TV show and homemade brownies.
An uncharacteristically quiet Frank drove me home. Not that I felt very chatty myself, so the silence was welcomed. I didn’t ask if he’d heard our conversation, because it wouldn’t change much if he had.
I did a load of laundry, then turned on the oven and set the casserole Evelyn had prepared for me and Jeb inside. As I waited for it to bake, I took out my college course catalogue and circled the classes that held my interest, but my mind kept wandering back to August.
I needed to call him, but I didn’t want to break up with him over the phone.
Maybe I would stop by after dinner.
I took out my phone to read the message he’d sent me when I was at Frank’s: Heard you were back. Want to grab dinner? Cole will be there. So no rule-breaking. :)
I’d answered him that I was with Evelyn and that I’d call as soon as I left her house. I hadn’t called yet, and I’d left over an hour ago. Guilt was making my stomach throb and pulse. I massaged it as I tried to focus on the catalogue.
A knock on the door made me jerk.
“Ness?” a deep voice called out.
Well, there went sticking my head in the sand. Sighing, I strode over to the door and opened it.
August was leaning against the wall, sporting a black beanie, a dark waffle-knit Henley, and fitted stonewashed jeans. His jaw was smooth from a fresh shave, and he smelled like he’d just stepped from his shower right onto my doormat.
Why oh why did he have to be so handsome?
His gaze trekked over my face. “You weren’t answering your phone.”
“I must have left the ringer off.”
He pushed off the wall and rounded me. “Something’s wrong,” he said quietly.
The throbbing in my navel turned thunderous. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling his stress or my own. “Why don’t we sit down?”
He dropped down onto the couch and placed his forearms on his spread thighs.
I tugged on the hem of my crop top, trying to extend it beyond my navel, but the pale turquoise cotton just sprang right back up. I folded my knees beneath me and perched on the opposite side of the couch, hoping physical distance would make this easier.
“Something happened between you and Liam, didn’t it?” There was a tremor in his gravelly voice.
“No.” I shook my head, and my loose hair fluttered around my shoulders. “Nothing happened between us. When I was away, I . . .” I forced my eyes to stay locked on his, knowing that if I looked anywhere else, he would sense the lie before it even left my lips. “I didn’t miss you, August. Not in that way.”
Shadows rushed over his features. “Really?”
“I’m sorry for leading you on. I feel terrible right now. But I’m hoping we can move past this and stay friends?” My voice was so steady I sounded both convinced and convincing.
August didn’t speak. He just stared as though waiting for me to say: gotcha, didn’t I?
When I didn’t utter those words, or any others for that matter, he got up. “Well, I . . .” He cleared his throat, gaze on the dining table and the open course catalogue. “I’ll just show myself out.” His tone was so heavy I almost leaped off the couch, but Evelyn’s words held me in place.
He’d understand in time.
“Will you leave Boulder now?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” He glanced over his shoulder at me, eyebrows almost touching from how deeply his brow was furrowed. “You probably want me gone, don’t you?”
“No,” I replied so quickly his eyebrows jolted up. “Don’t leave on my account, August.” I gripped my bottom lip between my teeth. My heart was beating so fast I tasted metal.
He didn’t move for a long moment, neither toward me nor toward the door. Did he sense my lie? Finally, his hand curled around the handle.
Before he stepped out, I said, “If you want me to return the money you put in my bank account, I’ll—”
“Don’t add insult to injury.” Tendons strained against the bronzed skin of his neck.
My teeth elongated into fangs that sank into my lip, drawing blood. I swallowed down the salty taste of it, battling back my wolf before she could rise
and take control of my human body.
August’s nostrils flared. Could he scent my blood? Was he wondering why I’d lost control? Maybe he assumed I was anxious for him to get out of my house.
He shut his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I guess I’ll see you around.” The tether that linked us swung like a jump rope. “Good luck with college,” he added tonelessly.
“Thank you.”
When he opened his eyes again, they shone as brightly as the bloated moon hanging over Boulder. He looked at me one last heartbreaking time, and then he left, the door snicking shut behind him. I held my breath as his heavy footfalls pounded the stairs, and then held it some more as his car engine rumbled.
Only when it petered out and the world turned silent did I unbolt my bloodied lips and let my pain pour out of me in great heaving sobs.
19
I spent all of Tuesday in bed. I told Liam I’d suffered from food poisoning, and he let me take the day off. The following day, though, I got up and drove to the gym at the crack of dawn. When I reached the building, Liam, Lucas, and Greg were already there, waiting for me.
Lucas dragged his blue gaze up and then down my body. “What the fuck did you eat, Clark? You look like hell.”
“Thanks, Lucas. Exactly what I rolled out of bed to hear.”
Lucas smirked, but then his smirk vanished when he turned toward our Alpha. I didn’t meet Liam’s gaze, afraid he would see that it wasn’t my stomach that had made me sick but my heart. I bet he knew—wouldn’t be long before the entire pack knew. I just hoped he wouldn’t see it as an overture to make a move on me.
Why couldn’t I have stuck to my plan about not dating any man for at least a year?
“So the Sillin . . . How much am I taking, Greg? And how long before we can test the results?”
Greg handed me an insulated pouch containing two pill packs. “Take two pills every day at exactly the same time. From the minute you stop taking them, you’ll need about ten hours for your werewolf gene to reactivate, give or take an hour. Oh, and store them in the fridge when you get home.” He unzipped a leather satchel and took out a syringe. “I’m going to take some of your blood now, and then again in two weeks to check for traces of Sillin.”
A Pack of Love and Hate Page 11