by Burton, Jaci
“No, thank you.” He leaned over and kissed her. “For the talk, mainly, but the sex was pretty damn good, too.”
She laughed. “You’re welcome.”
Now everything was better. At least she hoped it was better for Rafe. She certainly felt like things had been somewhat resolved. She knew he wasn’t going to forget what he’d been through or what he’d seen right away. Or ever. But hopefully, he’d start to tuck the nightmare away and understand that he saved lives all the time, and look at the more positive aspects of his job now.
She cared about him. She loved him.
At some point, she was going to have to tell him that. But for now, those words could wait. It wasn’t like either of them was going anywhere.
CHAPTER 26
“HEY, WHO BOUGHT FLOWERS?”
Rafe was just coming down the stairs and glared at Kal. “Leave those alone. They’re mine.”
Kal cocked a brow at Rafe. “Someone sent you flowers?”
“No, dumbass. I bought the flowers. For Carmen.” He sat down at the kitchen table to put on his tennis shoes.
“Oooh. Things must be getting serious.”
He looked up at Kal and frowned. “Flowers aren’t serious.”
“Aren’t they?” Jackson asked as he came into the room and leaned down to sniff the bouquet Rafe had bought when he’d run out earlier. “I don’t remember you ever buying flowers for a woman before.”
“You don’t see everything I do.” But his brothers were right. He’d never bought flowers for a woman before, because he’d never been serious about any woman.
Was he serious now? He sure as hell had had a serious conversation with Carmen earlier today, had opened up to her in ways he hadn’t even with his brothers.
Jackson and Kal both had sat down and tried to talk with him about the fire. He hadn’t been ready, hadn’t wanted to talk about it. He’d been in his head, replaying that day over and over again, wondering what he could have done differently, how he might have saved that woman. And every time he’d come up a failure.
Talking it out with Carmen had been a balm to his soul. She’d reminded him that they didn’t win every time, and not everyone could be saved. But they both saved lives every day on the job, and that’s what he needed to focus on.
“Your mood has improved, too,” Jackson said, coming over to lay his hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “You feeling better now?”
Rafe nodded. “Yeah. I was dealing with some shit about the fire the other day. Carmen came over and helped me deal with it.”
“I’m glad to hear it. But you know, you can always talk to me or to Kal if something about a fire gets to you.”
“I know. I just wasn’t ready to face it yet. Losing that woman hit me harder than I realized.”
Kal sat down next to him at the kitchen table. “I’m sorry you had to be the one to see that. It has to be one of the worst things to ever go through.”
Rafe hadn’t opened up before because he hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Not until he’d talked it out with Carmen. Now he did. “It was bad. I kept thinking if we had gotten there sooner we might have been able to save her.”
Jackson pulled out the chair on the other side of Rafe. “You know that’s not possible. She was gone before we ever got up to her floor.”
“Yeah, I know that now. Carmen made me see that I need to focus more on the lives we do save, not the ones we lose.”
Jackson nodded. “That’s some damn good advice.”
“Working where she does, I’m sure she knows that better than anyone,” Kal said.
“She does. And thanks, guys. I know I can always count on you to be here for me. And the same goes for both of you. If you need me, I’m here.”
“Does that mean you’ll buy me flowers?” Kal asked.
Rafe gave a side-eye look at Kal. “Do you want flowers?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Those are pretty.”
Rafe shook his head. “Dickhead.”
“Prick.”
Jackson laughed, then started walking away. “Good to see everything’s back to normal now. I gotta go get ready for my date.”
“Maybe you should pick up some flowers,” Kal suggested.
“Huh. Maybe I should.” He pointed at Kal. “You’re smart. I never knew that.”
“Fuck you.”
“Love you, too, bro.” Jackson disappeared upstairs.
Rafe stood. “What have you got going on tonight?”
“I’m beat after that training class today. I’m just gonna hang out, fix myself some food and crash.”
“How did it go?”
“It was intense. TRT is gonna kick my ass.”
“You’re gonna love doing this, aren’t you?”
Kal leaned back in the chair. “It’s like this is what I was meant to do all along. I could tell as soon as we started the training that it was a perfect fit. It’s hard, yeah, but I need that challenge.”
He could tell from the expression on Kal’s face that the Technical Rescue Team was exactly where his brother belonged. “That’s great, Kal. When will you make the move from Station 6?”
“I have to go through the full training class and qualification. Then if I get accepted, I’ll move.”
Rafe already knew that Kal would ace everything once he was committed to something. And Kal was definitely committed to this. “You know I’m gonna miss you.”
“Same.”
“But I’m damn happy you’re gonna do something you love.”
Kal grinned. “Thanks. Me, too.”
Rafe picked up his phone to check the time. “Okay, I gotta go.”
“Have fun. Don’t forget the flowers. Unless you wanna give those to me.”
“Funny.”
He grabbed the bouquet and walked next door, rang the bell and waited. The door opened and an older, very attractive woman answered.
She smiled at him. “You must be Rafe Donovan. I’m Felice Sheffield.”
He held out his hand. “Very nice to meet you, Felice.”
She looked at the flowers. “Carmen is going to love those. Come on in.”
He followed Felice inside. She wore orange-and-white capris, bright orange sandals, and an orange button-down shirt. She had shocking white, curly hair that she wore cropped short.
“How convenient that you live next door,” she said as they walked past the living room toward the kitchen. “Jimmy tells me you and your brothers are firefighters.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“That’s so nice. My uncle was a firefighter and used to tell me so many amazing stories. I admire what you do.”
“Thank you.”
“I was a mechanic in the army.”
He blinked. “Is that right?”
They entered the kitchen. Carmen was at the stove, and Jimmy sat at the kitchen table.
“Hey, Rafe,” Jimmy said.
“Hey, Jimmy.” He walked over to Carmen with the flowers. “I brought these for you.”
She looked at the bouquet of mixed flowers. He didn’t really know what she’d like, so he picked out this one because it was colorful and vibrant and it smelled delicious, which reminded him of her.
“These are beautiful, Rafe. Thank you.” She kissed him, just a brief brush of her lips across his, but it was the first time she’d kissed him in front of her grandfather, so he figured that was a big deal.
He cleared his throat and stepped away.
“So, Felice was just telling me she was in the army.”
Felice went over to the stove. “I met my husband, Ronald, there. He was in charge of large equipment, and I was a mechanic. So our paths crossed quite a bit.”
“That’s fascinating,” Rafe said.
“My stint in the military paid for both of our college educations,” Felice said.
“Beer?” Carmen asked Rafe.
“I can get it.” He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer while listening to Felice tell the story of her relationship with her husband a
nd how they juggled college while having their son.
“It wasn’t always easy, but we made it work.” Felice looked over at Jimmy. “You know what it was like back then.”
Jimmy nodded. “Tough times. Carmen’s grandmother and I didn’t have much, but we had our daughter and a small place to live. And I brought enough home to put food on the table, and Maria did some housecleaning when she could, so every little bit helped.”
Rafe knew what it was like to have nothing, when even a little seemed like a lot. “But you both made it work.”
“We did,” Felice said.
“And we were happy,” Jimmy said. “You’ve got to find your happiness no matter where you are in life, don’t you, Felice?”
Felice glanced across the room at Jimmy and sighed. “That you do.”
Rafe exchanged glances with Carmen. She gave him a knowing smile.
Yeah, Jimmy and Felice had a serious romance going on.
“Anything I can do to help?” Rafe asked.
“No, you sit,” Felice said. “Carmen and I have this under control.”
“She’s teaching me how to make spaetzle,” Carmen said.
At his questioning look, Carmen added, “Noodles. German noodles.”
“Oh, cool.”
“You could put the sausages on the grill, if you’d like.”
“Consider it done.” He got up and took the sausages out of the fridge. Jimmy went outside with him and helped him get the grill ready.
“You look stronger,” Rafe said, noticing how much time Jimmy spent on his feet these days. “Must be all that hot sex you’re having. Helps build muscle.”
Jimmy choked out a laugh. “No comment.”
“But you like her—Felice.”
“A lot. More than a lot.”
Rafe studied him as he waited for the grill to come up to the right temperature. “So you’re in love with her.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s great, Jimmy. I’m happy for you. Felice seems like an amazing woman.”
Jimmy stared into the house with a smile before turning his attention back at Rafe. “She is. I think I realized I was in love with her when she took a step away after her son had reservations about us.”
“But that’s resolved now, right?”
“Oh yeah. He and I got a chance to sit down together. I told him I loved my wife as much as she loved his dad. That there would never be anyone like that for either of us, but that both of us deserved some happiness. He understood that. Felice told me that her son said he couldn’t ask for a better guy to look after his mom.”
Rafe smiled. “That’s a great thing to say. You must have been relieved to hear that.”
“You have no idea.”
Rafe put the sausages on, then took a long swallow of his beer.
“I want to ask Felice to marry me.”
Rafe blinked. “Really? Does Carmen know that?”
“Not yet. I have to talk to Carmen about it first. Make sure she’s okay with it. And I need to ask David, Felice’s son, too. And then if they both say it’s okay, I’ll ask Felice.”
Rafe blew out a breath. “Big steps, man.”
“Don’t I know it. But I want her in my life. I want to wake up next to her every day and go to sleep next to her every night.”
Rafe turned the sausages, then closed the grill. “I hope it all works out for you, Jimmy. I want you to be happy.”
“Thanks. I want the same for you. And for Carmen.”
Uh-oh. He wasn’t sure where this was leading. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Carmen about his feelings about her, and he didn’t want to have the conversation with Jimmy before he had it with Carmen.
He knew how he felt about her. He was crazy about her. Hell, he was in love with her. He probably had been for a while now, but those were big steps. Big feelings.
And he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her grandfather that until he told her.
“Thanks, Jimmy. Carmen and I are doing great.”
“But long term . . . where do you see it going?”
He was going to have to tread carefully here. “Are you worried about leaving her behind if you and Felice make a life together?”
He shrugged. “Something like that.”
“The one thing I’ve always known about Carmen is that she can take care of herself. She doesn’t need anyone to hold her hand. Not you, and not me. It’s what I admire most about her. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about her, Jimmy.”
“I know I shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t be family if I didn’t. I just need to know she’s going to be okay, that all these moves I’m trying to make aren’t going to hurt her.”
Rafe had to admire the consideration Jimmy took with Carmen’s feelings. Family took care of one another, just like Rafe and Jackson and Kal had done when they were on their own. Like the Donovans had done when they’d adopted all of them. So he understood where Jimmy was coming from.
Which meant he was going to have to allay some of Jimmy’s fears.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Jimmy. I straight up can’t tell you where Carmen and I are going to end up. Not until I have some conversations with her first. But I can tell you that as of this moment, I’m not planning on going anywhere. She’s in my life, and I intend to keep her there, as long as she’s willing to stay.”
Jimmy nodded and grasped Rafe’s shoulder. “That’s good enough for me. Thank you.”
Rafe turned off the grill and loaded the sausages on the plate. They went inside, and Rafe saw that Felice and Carmen were laughing and drinking wine at the counter.
If he knew his woman like he thought, she was getting a bit tipsy.
“Sausages are done,” he said.
She turned and grinned. “Fabulous. So is the spaetzle. And we made green beans. This is going to be so good, Rafe.”
“I can’t wait.”
They sat at the table, and Carmen brought the bottle with her.
“Felice tells me she loves to travel,” Carmen said, taking another swallow of wine. “And she goes to Europe a lot, to Germany and France and England.”
“I’ve been telling Jimmy that he’ll have to come with me,” Felice said. “He loves beer and, oh, the beer in Germany is so good.”
“We’ll definitely have to hit up Germany,” Jimmy said. “You know I like my beer.”
Rafe was just digging the food. The noodles were different from what he was used to. They were also delicious. “This is really good. I like the noodles.”
“I’m so glad,” Felice said.
Rafe could see this—this scene as a family. Jimmy, Felice and Carmen sharing dinner together on a regular basis. He didn’t know how the living arrangements would work themselves out.
He knew this was Jimmy’s house. But Felice had a house as well. If they got married, would they move into her house or would she move in here? And if it was here, would Carmen stay?
He wished he could talk to Carmen about it, but it was up to Jimmy to discuss his future plans with Carmen. He assumed then Carmen would talk to him.
And how would Rafe fit into all of this?
How do you want to fit in, dude? What’s your plan for your future with Carmen?
That was the big damn question, wasn’t it?
Maybe he needed to focus less on Jimmy and Felice and figure out his own future life plan. Because it was clear as hell that he was done running around with different women. Carmen was it for him. The thought of not having her in his life caused his gut to twinge.
But how did she feel about it? About them?
Ask her, idiot. Tell her how you feel.
He needed to do that. But not while Jimmy was getting ready to upend her life with this whole proposing to Felice thing.
He’d wait. There was plenty of time.
After all, neither of them was going anywhere.
CHAPTER 27
“WAIT. HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED?”
Carmen nodded, trying to focus on the
lunch menu in front of her. But Tess tugged on her arm.
“He wants to get married?”
She finally pulled her focus from the menu. “That’s what he told me. He wants to propose to Felice.”
“Wow. That’s big, Carm.”
“It sure is.”
“How do you feel about it?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Fine, I guess. Felice is good for my grandpa. He’s healthy at the moment. He deserves to be happy.”
“But?”
“No but. I guess it was just unexpected. I know they’ve been seeing each other on and off. More on lately than off.”
Tess gave her a smile. “Hey, when you get to be the age of your grandfather, you don’t have time to waste. When you fall in love with someone and know they’re the one, you go for it. Time’s precious, you know?”
She supposed she hadn’t thought about it that way. When her grandfather had dropped the proposal bombshell on her the other night, she hadn’t said much other than Oh and That’s great. She probably should have been a little more enthusiastic on his behalf. He was likely very disappointed in her reaction.
Carmen had wanted to take Tess out for lunch today, for two reasons. One, to get out of the hospital for a break, and two, to give Tess some news.
It was always nice to have that time away, and there were several restaurants within walking distance of the hospital, so they ordered lunch and caught up on their lives.
“George and I are thinking of taking a big trip on our next vacation.”
“Yeah?” Carmen took a sip of her iced tea. “What’s the plan?”
“Maybe somewhere in the Caribbean. I’ve always wanted to go to St. Lucia.”
“I know you have. You’ve been talking about it for years.”
“I think I’ve finally convinced him. But money is kind of tight, so we’ll see how the savings go.”
Carmen grinned. “Well, I think they’ll go pretty well for you, considering the news I have.”
Tess frowned. “What news?”
“I’ll be doing your official evaluation this afternoon, but I wanted to tell you I recommended you for a promotion to nurse supervisor of the ICU step-down unit. And the unit is going to offer you the job.”
Tess blinked. “Get the fuck out of here. Seriously?”