by Anna Santos
“So?” Josephine pressed.
“She loves him and…he loves her. He does. And I know she’ll be happy with him. She will be a queen and an angel. What more could she ask for? It’s the perfect fairy tale dream. He’s a prince! What am I? The coldhearted vampire who scared her to death and stalked her. Oh, and forced her on a date, so I could see her again. She must be so eager to see me again, no doubt about that.”
My sarcasm made Jo breathe deeply and sigh with annoyance.
“I don’t know what’s worse: arrogant Philippe or self-pitying Philippe!”
I grumbled, “None of the above. The worst was hopeful Philippe. But I should have learned my lesson by now.”
“Oh, cry me a river!” Josephine snapped at me.
It made me stare at her. She was evil sometimes. Why couldn’t she be nicer to me? I was feeling miserable!
She kept rambling. “You have tons of girls falling at your feet, begging to give you their love. Don’t come crying to me and telling me that no one loves you because that’s a lie. A lot of people can love you, but you aren’t able to love them back. Finally, you found someone who woke you up to life and made your heart feel again. Now you’re annoyed because you can’t have her. But life goes on, especially for us, immortal beings. So, get off this couch and go do something.”
“Like what?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “Are you aware how badly you suck at cheering people up? How did you ruin my wallowing in perfectly good misery? Are you aware how twisted that sounded?”
“If you’re already feeling miserable, how can I ruin that even more?” she retorted.
“By being a pain in the ass,” I said, enlightening her.
She giggled. “Try to move on and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
I combed my hair with my fingers and moved in my seat. “Jo, the girl was my soulmate. I lost her. Do you honestly think that I should feel anything but sorrow and sadness? We were meant to be. I thought I loved Sophie. She was my whole world for a long time. Now, I find out that our love was meant to be doomed because there was someone else out there to complete me.”
Josephine kept nodding.
Folding my arms, I stared at my Italian designer shoes. “She completes me more than I can explain to you. Despite acting cold, I know she knows how well we match. But she’s stubborn. I hurt her. She believes that I wanted her dead. I can’t blame her. I’m a vampire…”
My maker could snap at me and pretend that my words didn’t move her. But I knew her better. Jo was a sensitive being who knew how love could hurt a person. She just liked to pretend she didn’t, so she wouldn’t feel her own emptiness and fears.
I leaned back with my eyes focused on the wall. “I’m a monster. I can’t give her a good and normal life.”
“He’s a freaking angel! Do you think he can give her a normal life?” Josephine reasoned.
My eyes snapped at her. “He’s a freaking angel prince! Granted, they’re also supernatural beings. But Aria being an angel is better than being a vampire. Plus, you saw her. She’s glowing… Being an angel gave her powers and self-confidence. When we first met, she was naïve and introverted. I couldn’t see beyond that. Cedric has a bond with her…”
Josephine interrupted my rambling. “She can still be yours.”
“I know. But I want her to be happy. I need her to be happy.”
“You should ask her what makes her happy, then,” she suggested.
Her advice seemed plausible.
Jo further elaborated. “You should have a serious conversation with her and ask her if she’s happy. If she is, then move on and forget her to the best of your abilities. I can’t promise you the salvation of your soul, but I wished that you had tried to be happy while you are alive.”
“My soul was already lost when you found me and turned me into a vampire. Don’t feel sad about it,” I whispered, trying to cheer her up.
She got up from her seat and brushed down her dress. “God! You’re so annoying. I wanted to come here and have some fun. Instead, I find you sobbing over a girl and I get to have a philosophical conversation. You are such a buzzkill!”
I sneered at her. “Did you forget to wear your grownup clothes? You’re acting so childish these days, which is extremely annoying.”
Jo put her hand on her hip as she muttered, “I’m sorry if I’m devoting a bit more importance to enjoying life now that I almost died.”
“Well, it didn’t stop you from trying to get extra crispy at the window.”
“I was testing myself. It’s strange, but I’m having sudden cravings for sunlight. I truly believe that I’m becoming immune to it.”
“I think whatever medicine those gargoyle scientists gave you is messing with your head and giving you hallucinations. Maybe it’s all a plot to make the surviving vampires become suicidal and kill themselves.”
Arching an eyebrow, she suggested, “Maybe you’re so bored that you’re creating a conspiracy theory.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged, only to look at her with eager eyes. “Did you see her at the clinic?”
Jo walked to the window as she folded her arms. “Who?”
“Aria?”
“She doesn’t live there. I haven’t seen Cedric either. It’s been quiet for the past few days. Today, I took my final shot, so I don’t need to go back there for a while.”
“I miss her.” I sighed. “I would be glad just to see her.”
Spinning around, she said, “Then go out and see her.”
“I don’t know where she is.”
“Find out.”
Getting up from my seat, I grumbled, “You’re not a good advisor. You should be helping me control these urges instead of encouraging them.”
Jo walked to me with the elegance of a cat. “Well, I was never good at resisting temptation. How do you think I became a vampire?”
“I bet her parents have been with her. Maybe I could… No, I shouldn’t.”
Her fingers played with the buttons of my coat. “What?”
I held her hand. “Invite them all to dinner in my restaurant, so I could see her. Even from afar.”
“She really did a number on you,” Jo said as her hand eluded mine and caressed my hair.
“Does my misery make you happy?”
Her eyes became gloomy. “No. Even if I want you to love, your misery doesn’t make me happy. You’re too romantic for your own good, my child.”
I grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, breathing in her sweet perfume. “One would think that living so many years would make me wiser.”
“There’s nothing stupid about being romantic and wanting to be loved. Vampires sire others to have a family and someone to love them. Loneliness is the enemy of immortality. You were a fool in rejecting the other part of you. But seeing you suffer makes me hurt, too.”
I stepped back and let go of her hand. “I have no wish to spoil your happiness. Just let me be. I’ll need some time to process all that has happened.”
“You are endearing,” she said as she ruffled my hair. “But I have no wish to leave you alone.”
“Ruining my hairstyle won’t improve my mood,” I assured her, grabbing her hand before she could do it again.
Putting her hands on my shoulders, she said, “Let’s go out!”
“It’s still daytime.”
Jo pouted before offering up a new idea. “You can call her parents and see what they’re doing. I can meet them and pretend to be your sister. It would be nice.”
Arching an eyebrow, I asked, “What happened to your alpha lover?”
She walked to the door with a theatrical waving of her hand. “I grew bored of him. I have things to worry about besides an overprotective lover. Also, you need me.”
“For what?” I walked to the door as slowly as I could.
“To cheer you up!”
“You’re doing a wonderful job. Remind me to never tell you that I’m sad ever again,” I teased.
She grabbed my face between he
r hands and kissed my cheeks. “You are so adorable when you pout. You should pout to Aria. I’m sure she won’t be able to resist your delightful face and pouting lips.”
I breathed deep and pushed back her hands. “Stop joking with me, Jo.”
Swaying her hips, she headed to the stairs with a happy grin. “Impossible, you are so easy to tease!”
I sighed, putting my hands in my pockets and going to the kitchen to see my friends and my butler. I knew everybody was worried about me. I should probably reassure them that I wasn’t going to sulk for all of eternity in my room.
Chapter THREE
ARIA
Early rising wasn’t what I had been used to the last couple of weeks. But I had a magic class with Camille in the morning. Later, I was going to the mall to have lunch with my parents, so they could meet Cedric.
Not even in a million years would I have believed that someday I would have magic classes and find that normal. I was excited. Plus, learning to use magic was less exhausting than trying to fly.
I wasn’t off the hook. That morning, I had to warm up with Cedric, meaning that I had to run and do some push-ups before I had breakfast with him. Flying was a serious challenge for a person who didn’t want anything to do with the physical exercise necessary to build up my wing muscles.
I had to confess—pull-ups weren’t my cup of tea. Thankfully, we started with something less demanding like lat pulldowns to increase back strength and then we would move forward to wide-grip pull-ups. Still, I was certain that I would never be able to do wide-grip pull-ups like Cedric could.
The sight of his muscles flexing and his body going up and down on the pull-up bar was mesmerizing. It was a drool-worthy moment. Cedric was breathtakingly gorgeous. Watching him work out was an incentive to go to the gym and have him around me, coaching me and acting sweet. It was hard to concentrate, though.
Being an angel involved more than flying. We had special powers that we needed to control. Camille was my coach when it came to master my fire powers. She had no idea why she was the one chosen since Joseph was the one with the fire powers and not her. Still, everybody seemed more relaxed when she was with me because of her shield. Apparently, they weren’t so keen on letting me burn the place down.
I was fine with the decision since she was patient, and I liked to spend time with her. Yet, she wasn’t in the kitchen when I went to eat. Normally, she would be there, feeding everybody else. Once I found Jacob, he told me that she was still in their bedroom and that I could go upstairs to get her.
A few minutes later, I knocked on Camille’s door and peeked inside. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
I entered and saw her in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with her back to me. Her eyes were fixated on something she had in her hand.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry. Joseph said I could find you here.” I entered the bathroom and noticed what she had in her hand. It was a pregnancy test. “I knocked on the door…”
She looked up at me with the shining eyes of someone who was about to cry.
I placed my hand against my chest. “What’s wrong?”
She showed me the test.
I frowned. I had no idea how it worked and if it was positive or not. Yet, her sadness seemed to be because of that.
I sat on the floor next to her. I was probably meddling in something that wasn’t my business, but we were friends and I wanted to know what was wrong with her.
“What does the test say? Is it the result that made you sad?”
“It’s negative,” she said, her voice laced with sadness. “It’s so frustrating!”
I blinked, a bit taken aback. “I didn’t know you were…trying to have a baby.”
“Yes, ever since we got together. It’s been three years now and nothing.” She stared at the test once again.
“Aren’t you too young to be worried about that?” I asked, unsure why they were in such a rush to have babies. She couldn’t be older than twenty-one. She had a lot more time ahead of her.
“Well, under normal circumstances, we could wait,” she said. “I don’t know if Cedric explained the disadvantages of being an angel to you.”
I shook my head. We hadn’t talked much about that. The little I knew, Camille had told me. In Cedric’s defense, I didn’t ask him a lot of questions about it. I should have been a bit more curious, but I had a lot on my mind.
“Then be prepared to learn something about angels and their limited window for conception.”
Her words made me frown. She looked serious, and I feared what she was going to tell me.
Camille initiated her lesson. “After the trial that the gargoyles must go through to be set free of the curse, God gives them and us, their mates, fifty years on Earth, no more, no less.”
I nodded, realizing her words meant there was an expiration date on angels. It was disturbing since it meant they knew when they were going to die.
“After fifty years, poof, you ascend to the other realm, the God realm for angels,” she further explained to me and my eyes widened. Shrugging, she added, “It’s cool. I would eventually die even if I were a werewolf; it could take a bit longer for that to happen, but I would still have to die.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Angels can have kids, but…it’s hard to get pregnant. Males have a low sperm count, and it may be a long time before they get their mates pregnant. Besides that, angels also have a higher probability of the baby being male because males are the ones who determine the child’s sex, and angel men have a higher amount of Y chromosomes in their sperm.”
I nodded, astounded at how well-informed she was.
“So, angels have a higher probability of giving birth to boys,” she summed up. “William explained it to me,” she added. “I…asked him to. He’s been accommodating and a good friend.”
“Okay, so you’re doing your best to get pregnant. Now you need to stop stressing about it, calm down, and let it happen.”
She sighed for a long time as she put down the pregnancy test and folded her hands. “I also feel guilty for wanting to have a kid so much.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Well, the boys turn into gargoyles at the age of eighteen. They’ll have to wait for a long time, or not, for a rejected soul to be mated to them. I…feel guilty about having to make my child experience something like that. If I have a baby, I’ll expose him to a curse.”
“Well, humans also procreate knowing that their children will eventually die,” I said to her. “I mean, we all have expiration dates, so we’re all somehow cursed with mortality.”
“That kind of makes sense,” she mumbled.
“You might have a girl. That would be a bit better, right?” I tried to cheer her up.
“I guess. Gargoyle girls may choose their mates among gargoyle men or by kissing a rejected soul they love. But I don’t really care if it’s a boy or a girl. I just want a baby.”
“Let’s focus on getting you pregnant for the time being,” I said, grinning and rubbing her shoulders.
It didn’t cheer her up. Her shoulders slumped. “Who am I kidding? It’s not that easy to get pregnant and that makes me even sadder. I want it to happen as soon as possible.”
“You’re really young, Camille. You have time.”
“I don’t have a lot of time,” she whined, eyes laced with grief. “I want to get pregnant, so I can spend a lot of my life with my son or daughter. I don’t want to get pregnant when I’m close to ascending, which sometimes happens. We don’t get a lot older than this,” she explained, gesturing to her appearance. “We can pass by humans, we can have normal human lives, but we will eventually ascend and…I would like to spend as much of my time with my children as I can. Well, I know that after having the first, it’s unlikely I’ll be able to have a second, but I want to get pregnant. I want to make Jacob happy. He waited a long time for me. He’s ready to be a dad and to have a family with me.” Tears began falling down her cheeks.
My eyes prickled with emotion. It was sad and beautiful at the same time. Unable to contain my tears, I hugged her to comfort her.
Then, it hit me. I would experience the same pain she had if Cedric and I survived the trial. Thinking about having kids while I was only eighteen was absurd a couple of weeks ago. It was still a bit farfetched. I was so young! Yet, she was right. If I were going to be with Cedric, we would be mates, and he would most likely want kids sooner rather than later.
“I’m such a crybaby,” Camille grumbled, hiding her face against my shoulder.
I rubbed her back. “No, you’re not. I understand why you’re sad. Do you want me to call Jacob?”
“No. He gets extremely sad when I start to cry every time the test is negative.”
I caressed her blonde hair.
“He always tells me that it’s not my fault. But I know he feels that it’s his fault because he’s the male, and I would have had a better chance of getting pregnant when I was a werewolf and wasn’t mated to an angel.”
“It’s no one’s fault,” I assured her. “It’s a genetic problem. It’s not even a problem. It’s the way the creator of angels found to control the gargoyle population. Have you tried in vitro fertilization?”
“It’s against the rules. The conception must occur when angels make love. It would be a heresy to try differently because it must be the product of love.”
“It would still be the product of love because you’d be doing it for the love of having a family. You wouldn’t love your baby less because an ovum was fertilized with the spermatozoon inside a test tube to form a zygote.”
She blinked with furrowed eyebrows, perhaps because of the use of so many scientific terms.
Camille explained, “They have their beliefs, Aria. We’re not one to question them. Besides, it’s God’s decision to gives us a baby or not.”
I was going to refute that, but I decided to shut up and nod. She didn’t need me talking about genetics and theology to make her day even sadder.