by Love, Kristy
I turned in his arms and kissed him. “You were the hunky musician.”
He threw his head back and laughed, his throat moving with the movement. I wanted to trace my tongue along those muscles, but I didn’t. My body needed a break, plus I loved just being here with him like this. Where we could enjoy each other’s company. “The hunky musician?” he murmured. “Who found me hunky?”
“Pretty much everyone did. All the girls lusted after you. It was really annoying.”
“I didn’t notice a single other girl than you. Nobody’s opinion mattered.”
“Is that right?” I teased.
“You know it is.”
I smiled, his words warming me, continuing the healing process.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think that we’d had this grand reunion and things would be smooth sailing. We had a lot of wounds to heal and things to make up for. We had big obstacles to overcome that I was refusing to think about. Namely, he had to eventually return to California, and I had to stay here for my job. The thought of being away from him for extended periods of time caused panic to rise, but I tried not to think about it.
If he left again, went across the country, would he decide that we wouldn’t work anymore? Would he end things and move on with his life?
A soft finger ran down the side of my face. “What are you thinking about?”
“What happens when we leave this hotel room? How do we continue being together when the country separates us again?”
“Hey,” he said softly. “We have the rest of our lives to figure it out.” He pressed a kiss to my lips.
“What happens when you go back to work, and you decide that you don’t have time for me again?”
His eyes softened, the green irises filled with sadness. “I’d give up music before I’d give you up again.”
I gasped, my hand actually covering my mouth. “You can’t mean that.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, rubbing his thumb along my earlobe. “I do. More than music, remember, Bee? I love you. You’re it for me. I let the other bullshit get in the way, and it’s never happening again. I need you. I can find another outlet for the music; I can’t find another you.”
My insides melted, and my eyes welled. “I don’t want you to give up music, Nash. It’s important to you; it’s part of who you are.”
“And you’re part of who I am. I’ll go wherever you need me. If you want to stay in Pittsburgh, I’ll relocate here. I can record here, move here. If the record label has issues with it, they can go fuck themselves.”
I tucked my head against his neck, inhaling his fresh, clean scent. “I don’t want you to give up music.”
He shrugged. “I’m not letting you go. There’s no getting away. I’m yours and you’re mine and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it.”
“I think it’s more like you’re stuck with me. I’m going to be a clingy, needy girlfriend who demands all of your time and attention.” It was partially a joke, though I was sure I’d be more demanding in the beginning. I still struggled with the fact that he was here, that he’d left Vivienne for me, that he’d want me at all.
He kissed me deeply. I moved until I straddled him, my legs wrapped around his hips. His fingers were featherlight against my back, and a shiver danced down my spine. How could I want him again? “You take as much as you need from me, Bee. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not making the same mistakes again.”
I hugged him to me, my heart soaring, and my throat tightening. I don’t know what I’d done in any lifetime to deserve this man, but I was so glad he was here now.
He said I’d ruined him for other people, but the truth was, he’d ruined me. There’d never been anyone but him, I was just too stubborn to realize it.
Chapter 28
My alarm had gone off about fifteen minutes ago, but I couldn’t pull myself from this bed. I wasn’t ready to leave Nash and the bubble we’d formed around us. He ran his fingers over the swell of my breast, the dip of my waist, the curve of my hip. He’d been touching me since the alarm had gone off, not in a way meant to arouse me, but in a way that made me feel like he was committing this all to memory the way I was.
“I don’t want to go to work,” I said.
“Then don’t. Call off and stay here with me.” His eyes found mine, and there was a touch of fear in them.
“What’s wrong?”
He looked down before meeting my eyes again, pulling his lip between his teeth. His fingers continued their lazy perusal. “I’m afraid of what happens when you walk out of that door. I’m afraid the real world will barge its way in and ruin everything we’ve had this weekend.”
I moved closer, wrapping my arm around him, hugging him. “Nothing is going to tear us apart again. Remember, you and me, right?”
“It’s easy to say when we’re ignoring the outside world. We haven’t talked to anyone else, we haven’t watched anything but old Eighties movies, we haven’t even used our phones.”
“I have to work, Nash. I can’t avoid it.”
“I know.”
I held him longer, his own grip on me unyielding. The warmth and steadiness of his body was heaven against mine. There truly wasn’t anywhere I’d rather be.
As we laid there, me continuing to ignore the fact that I was definitely going to be late for work, and him ignoring whatever demons were plaguing him, one thought kept running through my mind. It got so loud, so overwhelming, I had to ask, or I knew it’d drive a wedge between us. “Nash?” I asked, tentatively.
“Hmm?” His hand was now enjoying the curve of my ass.
“Why’d it take you so long to break it off with Vivienne?” It hadn’t been forever, not really. It was only about a month and a half since he’d walked into my office for me to plan his wedding, but it felt like forever. If he truly felt this way about me, then he should have ended things with her much sooner, and we could have been here with each other weeks ago. Though maybe I wasn’t ready to accept him, to forgive him.
“Fear, mostly,” he responded. He sighed and rolled onto his back, throwing his arm over his eyes.
“You were scared?”
“That you’d hate me, that you’d never forgive me. Your eyes were so cold, so closed off. I wondered if you’d become someone different, someone bitter and angry. Then you were so nice with Vivienne and I knew that wasn’t the case. You were still so unapproachable with me. I didn’t know what to make of it.” He shifted a bit but didn’t uncover his face. “For a long time, I’d convinced myself that what I felt for you was all in my head, that it couldn’t really be that strong, that it was merely puppy love. As soon as I saw you, I knew that wasn’t the case, and that was another thing that terrified me.” He sighed. “I was scared you didn’t want me anymore, that you didn’t love me. I was scared of putting myself out there, telling you how I felt, and you rejecting me. I couldn’t survive you not loving me.”
My heart swelled and ached at the same time. “I loved you then, and I love you now.” Another thought invaded my mind. “If you didn’t want to break it off with me if you still loved me, why did it take you so long to come back?”
He chuckled, the vibration tumbling through him and into me. “Again, I was scared. I was scared of what your reaction to me would be. I didn’t want to mess up your life if you had things going well.” He traced a finger over my face. “And I’ve been working nonstop since I left. Tours, recording, meetings, promotion, interviews, traveling. This is the first downtime Felix and I have allowed ourselves. I’m exhausted; so is he.”
“I’m glad you have time off, so we can spend some time together.”
“Me too.”
I leaned down and kissed him. Each kiss sent a thrill through my body, exciting me. “I really need to get to work.”
He groaned and rolled out of bed. “I guess we both have to go back to reality.”
An hour later, I was bustling down the sidewalk to my office. I’d showered quickly, refusing to all
ow Nash in with me, threw my hair up into a wet bun, and dressed quickly. While I was in the shower, Nash had called Jeremy and sent him to a store to buy me new clothes since he’d thoroughly ruined my shirt. For a bodyguard, Jeremy made really good choices. He got me a charcoal gray pencil skirt and a crimson shirt. I skipped the underwear since, thankfully, Nash hadn’t asked Jeremy to get any of that stuff for me. And my heels were fine to wear again.
As I rode up in the elevator, I turned my phone on. I’d been in such a rush and hadn’t had time to look at it. It practically blew up in my hand. Peyton had called and texted, so had Felix, which really surprised me. My parents had called, plus I had several messages from the office. The news of Nash breaking up with Vivienne had clearly gone public. I didn’t have time to read any of them, so I tucked my phone into my bag and exited the elevator.
Fiona was at the front desk, and she quirked an eyebrow at me, glaring at me. “Nadine wants to see you in her office. Immediately.”
Shit. I was late on the day her biggest client canceled on her. I was going to be in trouble for sure. I nodded and went to Nadine’s door, knocking on it. I had déjà vu from when I’d begun planning Nash’s wedding.
“Come in,” Nadine ordered.
“Hey, Nadine. Sorry I’m late. My weekend was busy.”
“Obviously,” she said, her voice so flat and dry it’d make the Sahara jealous. She spun her computer toward me, and I gasped, my knees giving out. Luckily a chair was behind me, so I didn’t sprawl on the floor. “You’ve been a very, very busy girl.”
On the screen was me in Nash’s arms, kissing him. Nadine scrolled down, and they got worse and worse. My hands fisted in his shirt, his hands in my hair, his thumb brushing along my skin, no space between us. The last one was of us looking at each other, and the sexual tension was plain as day. There was no denying the hooded eyes and flushed cheeks. We were in Pittsburgh, so paparazzi or people taking our picture had never even crossed my mind. Fuck. This was bad. Very, very bad. “I can explain.”
Nadine waved away my words. “Don’t worry. Vivienne’s people called this morning and explained everything. How she and Nash had already broken up, and you weren’t to blame. How much they regretted having to cancel the wedding, but they’d keep us in mind in the future.” She pressed her lips into a line, not pleased. “What kind of company can I run when one of my lead planners runs off with the fiancé of one of my clients?”
“I promise, that’s not what happened.”
“I’m not stupid, Bianca. They break up and cancel the wedding and then these pictures surface? You played a part in it, whether you want to admit it to me or not.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, twisting my fingers in my lap. This was worse than being sent to the principal’s office because I knew I was losing my job. This wasn’t a detention or a suspension, this was being fired from my dream job. Fear filled me. What would I do now? I’d started working here during my sophomore year of college. I’d started at the front desk and worked my way to becoming one of the event coordinators. I’d never known another company other than this one. It was everything I’d wanted, and it was terrifying to see it slip through my fingers.
“I’m sorry isn’t going to be enough. Pack up your office. I want you gone within the hour.” Nadine turned the computer away, then turned away from me. There was no arguing with her or pleading my case, though there was nothing I could say.
I left her office, my proverbial tail between my legs. None of my coworkers would look me in the eye as I made my way to my office. There wasn’t much here to pack up. A picture of me and Peyton, a picture of my parents, a few other knickknacks I’d collected over the years. Someone had already placed a box on my desk, letting me know my time here was done.
I fought back the tears as I packed up my professional life. I wondered what this would mean for Peyton and me. How could we keep an apartment when I had no income? I paid the rent because she didn’t make anywhere near the amount of money I did.
When I got down to the sidewalk, my meager box of belongings held in front of me, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to go back to my apartment. Peyton was at work, and I didn’t want to be alone. It felt wrong rushing back to Nash’s arms, but he was the only person I wanted to see. The thought of doing a walk of shame from my work was painful. I thought about hailing a cab, but with my financial future in question, I didn’t want to spend the money on that. Nash’s hotel was only a couple blocks. And to make matters even worse, my phone had died. That’s what I got for not charging it all weekend.
I turned toward the hotel and walked, tears burning. I really had no idea what this meant for my future. I didn’t like uncertainty, and I didn’t like things out of my control, and all of this made my life exactly that.
“Bee!” Nash’s voice rang out from beside me. I turned, and he was climbing out of a black SUV. “I’m so sorry. I would have shown up sooner, but it’s been fucking batshit this morning.” He enveloped me in his arms and the dam holding back my tears broke. I sobbed giant, ugly tears into his shoulder. Jeremy took the box from me and tucked it into the trunk of the car. I clung to Nash because, just like old times, he’d become my life raft. “I wanted to get here sooner, but my publicist, agent, and the record label were all in a frenzy. I was on a conference call with them. They’re in damage control mode, worried about what Viv will say. So, then I had to call Viv and make sure everything was okay. Then Felix called, my parents. It’s been a madhouse. It wasn’t until Felix asked how it went for you at work that I finally pulled my head out of my ass. I came to get you as soon as he said it.”
I shook against him with how hard I was crying, unable to say a word. “I’m so sorry, Bee. I swear to God, I’m sick of saying that, but I am. I never would have kissed you out in public like that if I’d thought there would be pictures. I felt so safe here. I should have known better.” He ran soothing hands over my back.
“I lost my job. I don’t know what to do.”
“We’ll figure it out together. I’ve got you.” He ushered me to the car, closing the door before going back to holding me. I continued to fall apart. The last few days had been so much to take in, and this was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I hated that something as stupid as my job put a damper on the happiness I’d experienced all weekend.
Back at the hotel, Nash whisked me away, back to our safe haven. We curled up on the couch until I cried myself dry.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He brushed away tears.
“I don’t know what there is to say. I lost my job. I don’t know what that means for my future.”
“It’s a speed bump. You’ll have a new job before you know it.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that easy. What company is going to hire me once it gets out that I’m what ended the relationship of Vivienne and Nash? What if it gets out that you two were engaged? That’s the end of me planning anything. No one is going to want me near their grooms.”
“It’s not out yet, and we’ll make sure that no one finds out.” He held me against him as I fought to keep my composure. My eyes were sore from all the tears, and my throat was raw. We stayed like that for a long time. His comfort was the only thing keeping me from sinking into despair. He was right. We had each other, and that was what was important. I’d fought and clawed through life without him. All these obstacles would be a cakewalk with him by my side.
A while later, his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and answered it. He didn’t say much, lots of yeahs and okays. He hung up and let out a loud sigh and scrubbed his hand over his face. “More bad news.”
My stomach knotted, waiting for what he was about to say. “Someone leaked that we were planning a wedding, that you were our planner, and that you broke us up.”
That was the death of my career. I’d have to build an entirely new career from scratch. The thought was daunting. I inhaled and let it out slowly. “Okay. It’s okay. I’ll just find something else to do.�
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He eyed me, assessing my mental sanity. “You took that better than I thought you would.”
“I already lost my job. I’m not going to lose it all over again. And I have you.” I squeezed his hands and smiled. “That’s what really matters. You’re back in my life. Together, we can conquer anything,” I said with more confidence than I felt.
A slow smile spread across his face. “Of course. Together.”
I touched our foreheads together and took in the moment of peace that settled over me. “I should probably go home and talk to Peyton. We need to figure out a plan now that I don’t have income.”
“I can pay the rent. Anything you need, I’ll do for you.”
I kissed him. “I appreciate it. I really do. But I have to figure all of this out with Peyton.”
“I’ll take you home,” he said, albeit it reluctantly.
“I’ll come back when I finish talking to her.”
“Promise?”
“Always.” I kissed him, and we left, with him holding my hand the whole way. My nerves danced under my skin, making me feel twitchy. I was sure my conversation with Peyton was going to last a long time. So much had happened in such a short time. She’d want all of the details, even if I was too exhausted to offer them all.
Chapter 29
After leaving Nash down in the car, I made it up to my apartment. As soon as I opened the door, Peyton exploded.
“Where have you been?” she yelled, then leapt on me, squeezing me tightly. “I’ve been trying to contact you for so long, and all I get is this confusing text about you being with Nash, and then you went radio silent. Do you understand what that does to a girl? Do you have any idea what kind of scenarios I’ve cooked up? I thought his fiancée had poisoned you or you’d been in a drive-by shooting or Nash had kidnapped you and locked you in his bathroom.” She paused for a breath and then ran her wide eyes over my face. “My mind has gone crazy. I was ready to call the police. And then those pictures surfaced! And I really went crazy, completely convinced his fiancée had offed you. Why aren’t you saying anything?”