‘It’s important.’
He let go of the mouse he had still been gripping. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s Baxter.’
Those words. He hated them. More than we need to talk.
‘He’s back to the conversation he was having before you were off sick. Yesterday, when he realised you were on a phased return, he…’ She struggled to find the words.
‘He wants me gone,’ Aaron provided.
‘Yes,’ said Hannah.
He nodded. He knew this was coming.
‘We could talk to him. Explain.’ She pleaded with him now. ‘He wouldn’t be able to do anything then. He would have to accommodate you. And that’s what this is. It’s a lack of accommodation. It’s nothing to do with your work.’
She slammed her mug down on the desk. ‘Because if it was, then I would have had an issue, and I can’t do without you, Aaron.’
He was touched by her words and by her passion.
‘Can we see how it goes?’ he asked.
‘We can’t leave it long.’
He could hear voices coming down the corridor. He needed to bring this conversation to a close.
‘Let’s get through today. One day at a time. See what happens. It’s not something he can do on a whim.’ He looked to the door again.
Hannah followed his gaze. She stood. Collected her mug. ‘Okay, but if you have any problems, or if you want to chat about it, let me know.’ She stared at him. ‘Okay?’
The door opened and Pasha and Ross strolled in.
‘Okay, Aaron?’ she pushed him.
He brought his computer screen back to life and turned his back to her. ‘Okay,’ he muttered.
52.
Drew knocked on the door. Dylan answered. The minute he saw his dad Dylan grunted, opened the door wider so he could step inside, but he didn’t say anything, didn’t welcome him, just turned around and walked up the stairs, phone in his hand. Peering down at the small screen, the glow lighting up his face.
It was Monday morning. The kids were getting ready for school. Dylan’s shirt was half buttoned, he had no tie and was barefoot.
With a sharp click Drew closed the door behind him and went in search of Melissa. He could hear the television on in the living room so went in there first. She was sitting with a mug of tea in front of the news, which was turned down low, a friend, one of their old neighbours in the chair. He said old friend because she was obviously an old friend of his but still a current friend of Mel’s. They were engrossed in conversation. Mel’s face lit up with laughter.
At the sound of him entering the room she stopped, turned and saw him. The smile slid off her face to be replaced by a much more serious expression. She no longer looked relaxed. Drew turned to the friend, Gina, who had also stiffened. Why had they changed just because he had walked into the room? There was a time when it wouldn’t have mattered and they would have told him what the joke was, included him, and he would have laughed along with them. Now they stopped as though a stranger had entered their den.
‘Hey,’ Mel said. ‘I wasn’t expecting you. Did I miss something? Do we have a school meeting for one of the kids?’ Her voice was pleasant enough. He hated how she was doing okay. That she could sit here and be okay and sit and laugh while he was alone and pining for his family, for the old times. How did she do it? Had he, had they, their family unit, meant nothing to her?
‘I was in the area,’ he started. It was hardly a realistic lie at this hour.
The look she gave him said she knew it for what it was, a chance to see them without having pre-organised visit.
‘And I thought I’d stop by.’ He hated the expression in her eyes now.
Pity.
He wouldn’t make this about her. ‘I wanted to see if the kids wanted to go out for something to eat later when they get home from school. I thought I would catch them now.’
‘How are you?’ Gina asked, finally speaking up. Acknowledging he was here, in his house. The house she was sitting in, drinking tea in and laughing in. Without him.
‘I’m good, you know, keeping busy.’
She looked surprised, as though she expected him to be sleeping on the pavement like the homeless guy he had supposedly pushed over. ‘Right.’ Her eyebrows lifted up into her hair. ‘That’s great to hear. What are you doing now?’ A slight tone of incredulity slipped in.
He ignored it. ‘Still teaching.’ That’s all he would give her. It’s all she deserved.
Her eyebrows nearly flew off her head now. ‘Oh,’ she squeaked. ‘You managed to get another job?’ She flushed beetroot red. ‘It’s not that… I don’t mean…’
‘It’s okay, Gina,’ Melissa leapt in to save her. ‘He didn’t start working in another school.’
He glared at her. What was she even doing here at this hour anyway? He wouldn’t have her know that the baying crowd had destroyed his life.
He jumped in before Mel could go any further. ‘I’m a tutor now for an online university.’ It wasn’t that he was banned from working with kids. It was a decision he had made and the irony was not lost on him that he was working online when it was the online world that had destroyed him. ‘I’m teaching adults in an adult world.’ He stared at Gina, defying her to say something derogatory. ‘It’s very rewarding,’ he lied. He would not admit to anyone, especially this woman or Mel, how much he hated it. That he so very desperately wanted to teach children. To show them how much there was to learn about the world. To set them up as they grew, ready to go out on their own, but he was afraid to apply to other schools for fear of rejection. It had been hard to leave his last school and he wanted to steady his ship for a while.
‘How did you get in?’ Mel changed the subject and he felt himself shrink an inch or two by having to answer this question.
‘Dylan.’
She nodded. ‘I’m having a late start so Gina came round for a breakfast catch-up. It’s been too long.’
Libbie sauntered in, face down, looking at her phone. She nearly walked into him as he hovered in the doorway behind the sofa.
‘Hey, love,’ he said as she manoeuvred around him.
Libbie grunted a hello back at him and sank into the sofa next to her mum who wrapped an arm around her. Libbie leaned into it. A crushing pain enveloped Drew’s chest as he watched. This used to be them. The three or four of them in the room just chilling out. He stared hard at the interloper, still supping on her mug of tea. Not in the least uncomfortable in her place in his home.
A report popped up on the TV about the recent murders. His eyes caught it and he looked away.
‘Have you seen this?’ asked Gina to Mel. ‘It’s awful what he’s been doing.’
Who the hell was she to make comment? Not only was she sitting in his home, but now she had an opinion on this. She was no better than the rest of them.
Libbie looked up from her phone to see what Gina was talking about. Took in the screen then looked back down.
‘Yes,’ said Mel, ‘I’ve been following it. It feels so much more real and less like the news when it’s local, don’t you think?’ She looked to him as well when she spoke, trying to include him, he could tell. She was always kind, even though they’d had problems, she was never malicious.
‘Do you want to go for something to eat after school?’ he asked Libbie.
She didn’t even look up. ‘Naaa.’
‘Another time?’
A non-committal sound escaped. It could have been an affirmative noise. He took it as such.
‘Yes, I’ve been scared to go out, to be honest,’ Gina answered Mel about the locality of the crimes. Scared to go out indeed. Such a drama queen. As if anyone would want to drag her off the streets. He’d like to drag her out of his house.
‘It’s the kids I was afraid for,’ Mel said. ‘After that young Instagram star was killed. You know they’re all on it. It’s their thing. I worried that if they started commenting on it, they would be targets. I told them not to but you know what they�
��re like.’
Gina nodded vigorously. She had a couple of teenagers at home. It’s why they got on so well. He did used to get on with her. He just begrudged the fact she was here now and he wasn’t. ‘What do you think?’ She turned to him.
‘Me?’ He was surprised to be included in the conversation. Surprised he hadn’t been kicked out of the house yet.
‘Yes, Mel was worried about the kids. It’s local. You must have an opinion.’ That was the thing. Everyone had a goddamn opinion and thought they had the right to it.
‘Not really,’ he shrugged. ‘The kids know about strangers and to keep themselves safe.’
Melissa turned on him. ‘This guy is crazy, you know that, don’t you?’ Her tone was cold now. Freezing him out. He’d said the wrong thing.
‘What?’ was all he could manage.
‘This guy. Did you see what he did to the first victim? On Market Square. I mean, how crazy do you have to be to do something like that? You must have seen the CCTV footage the police released?’
‘Well, yeah, but it didn’t tell us anything about him. We don’t know what’s going through his head, do we?’
‘Come on. To be that bold. He’s lost the plot. And if you’ve lost the plot, that makes you dangerous. And to have a dangerous killer in our area, well, that makes me nervous. How can you not be anxious about that?’
‘You think he’s lost the plot?’ he asked, focusing on only a few of her words and not the ones she wanted him to hear. His hearing tunnelled. His focus narrowed. This was the woman he loved and this was him she was talking about. This was what she thought about him.
‘You don’t? Of course he’s lost the plot.’
‘Yeah, Dad.’ Libbie didn’t look up from her phone, but managed to slide in two words that sliced through him like a butcher’s knife through a fresh piece of meat.
‘He’s killing people and leaving them in disgusting set-ups. His mind is lost. That’s scary as hell. He scares me.’ She shivered.
‘I have to go.’ He turned.
‘Don’t you want to ask Dylan?’ Mel asked.
He was halfway to the door. ‘No, I’ll try again another day,’ he said and was gone. He couldn’t handle this. The mirror held up to him by the people he held most dear. And what he saw in that mirror he didn’t like, he didn’t like at all. It was ugly, grotesque and needed cutting out.
53.
The office was quiet and Aaron was catching up with some work. Hannah was in her office. Some of the staff were in the CCTV viewing room, others were out, attempting to mop up the house-to-house inquiries that hadn’t yet been fully completed as not everyone had answered their doors, and a few were taking statements.
Aaron liked it when the office lulled like this. The peace was perfect for him. He could work and focus without the distraction of gossip and laughter and loud voices breaking through his thought processes.
‘Aaron?’
The voice came from behind him. Baxter stood in the doorway.
‘Do you have a minute?’ He’d walked down the stairs to ask him rather than phone down for him. This was unusual.
‘Sir.’ Aaron stood and Baxter turned on his heel and headed back to his office.
Aaron waited in the neat room for what was coming. Hannah had pre-warned him. It wasn’t as though he wasn’t aware. He took a deep breath.
‘How was your first day?’ Baxter asked. A voice of calm and reason.
‘It was like any other day,’ Aaron replied.
‘You felt good?’
It was a direct question and Aaron squirmed. He knew what answering this would do to his career. It was also natural to feel as he had. How could an intelligent man like Baxter not know this? ‘I was exhausted,’ he said.
Baxter leaned back. Steepled his fingers. It reminded Aaron of a spider about to pounce on a fly.
‘It was a tough day?’ Baxter clarified.
‘I did my work but it exhausted me as is to be expected after a heart attack, Sir.’
Baxter tickled under his chin with his steepled fingers. A noise thrummed in his throat. ‘I have a proposition for you, Aaron.’
Aaron didn’t like the sound of that. He waited.
Baxter looked at him.
Aaron waited some more.
Eventually Baxter spoke again. ‘Training.’
‘Sir?’
‘The training department.’
‘What about it?’
‘It is a Monday to Friday job with no overtime, no staying late and no having to come in at the weekend because a case demands it. You’ve been through a lot and a vacancy has just come up in the training department and I think you would be perfect for it.’
Aaron didn’t react.
‘Hannah tells me regularly how methodical you are, how much she values you. Your talents would be perfect in the training department. Think of all the experience you could impart to the new probationers and to the trainee detectives. You would be perfect.’
Baxter leaned forward now. ‘Aaron, the fact that this vacancy has come free now is a sign that it’s made for you.’
‘Yes, Sir.’ He couldn’t think of anything else to say. He didn’t know how he felt about it.
‘Will you at least give it some thought?’
‘Yes, Sir.’ And he would. He would give it some serious thought. Could he really do the same job any more after this heart attack? Should he move to a different department? Should he be taking things easier? Lisa would probably be happier without the worry he would keel over again because of the long hours.
‘Just think of how little stress you’d be putting on your body in the training department,’ Baxter said, as though he had been reading Aaron’s mind.
Aaron nodded.
‘I’m offering this in your best interest,’ Baxter went on. ‘You’re a valued member of the team and I would hate to lose you, but if it means you’re kept safe and well and are not prone to another heart attack, then I will be more than happy to put you forward and recommend you for this position. And I have no doubt you would get it.’ He smiled. ‘I have a bit of pull, you know. And if it’s a matter of your health, then that will take precedence over fairness in any interview procedure.’
His health. Was he really that bad? It had certainly felt that way on his first day back. He would never have believed being at work would make him feel so dreadful had he not experienced it himself.
‘Will that be all?’ he asked.
Baxter looked perplexed. ‘Well, yes. Of course. But, you will think about it? This offer needs to be acted on before they start advertising the post. I’ve heard about it before any action has been taken.’ He let out a small cough.
Aaron didn’t understand.
He stood. ‘I will think about it, Sir. Thank you.’ And he walked out of the office.
54.
Drew’s mind was all over the place. It was freezing outside, but he was burning up. He put the car temperature down, tried to cool himself, but the sweat beaded on his forehead and slipped down his back. He wriggled forward, uncomfortable with the sensation. The car jumped forward as he fidgeted and he tried to steady himself. Gripped the steering wheel in the ten two position. Held on and told himself it would be okay.
But his wife and his daughter, they had called him a monster. He pulled up to the roundabout and looked right for traffic, the road was quiet, he pulled out and took the second exit onto Mapperley Plains. His stomach rolled.
How had it gone so wrong? This hadn’t been what he wanted. This hadn’t been the point of it all. If Melissa and Libbie couldn’t see it then no one would. He had failed and those people had died for nothing.
Melissa and Libbie could usually be trusted to see the bigger picture but this time, it was completely invisible to them. How had he managed to screw it up so badly?
The winter sun was low in the sky and dazzled him through the windscreen. He squinted and pulled down the visor. He really hated this time of year. He hated everything at the moment.
When he originally came up with his plan, he had been afraid that they might figure out it was him. Mel in particular, because of her big picture viewpoint and because she knew him so well. He hadn’t envisaged they would miss the point altogether and call him a monster. And Mel, Mel had said she was afraid of him.
His Mel. His beautiful beautiful Mel. Afraid of him. How the hell had that happened? He had to right this.
He would right this.
He would right this for his family.
He had put them through enough. He hadn’t done it intentionally, but, because of him, they had been through a lot. He would stop their fear. He would cut out this ugliness.
He had another plan and it would show once and for all if the world had any decency and this plan couldn’t fail because for this one to work he had to tell the world he was the killer.
55.
‘You’re doing what?’ I bellowed at him.
Everyone in the room turned to look. Aaron looked down at the floor.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. I was. Not for the sentiment, but for shouting at him.
Again.
This wasn’t the first time I had done this. Shouted at him. But this time it was because I cared and I couldn’t believe what he had told me.
‘I’m considering Baxter’s offer.’ His voice was low, his face still downturned.
‘Come with me,’ I whispered through clenched teeth, reining in my very real need to grab hold of him and strangle him. I turned to the door, stalked a few steps then checked he was following.
He had more sense than to push against me right now but the look on his face told me I had a fight on my hands. He was serious and I wasn’t sure he was in the mood to back down. There was no arguing with him when he thought he was talking sense. He usually talked sense, but he wasn’t now and I needed him to see that. Baxter was playing him.
I stomped down the corridor, slammed into my office. Waited for Aaron with my arms crossed and chin jutting out in fury.
The Twisted Web (Detective Hannah Robbins Crime Series book 4) Page 19