“I guess I’ll be heading home soon,” I replied, unable to keep the slight tone of regret from my voice. “I have to work tomorrow.”
“Forgive me for asking such a personal question, but would your father happen to be around five feet, ten inches with dark hair and a scar on his left cheek?”
“Yes,” I replied warily. “How did you know that?”
“Perhaps then it would be better if you didn’t go home so soon. Your father stumbled out of the bar about twenty minutes ago. He was somewhat inebriated and mentioned that his daughter, Lauren, was at work so he’d have the place to himself. I’m afraid that he invited the people he was with back to your home to carry on the party.”
My shoulders dropped as I looked to the ground. He must have been in the bar pretty much all day to be drunk this early. I was so ashamed that I could barely look at Jensen or Gabe. Nancy had been right, and I needed to face the reality that Dad’s ugliness would always bleed into my life, and if I held on to Jensen, it would eventually infect his life as well.
“Do you have anywhere else to go?” Gabe asked me gently.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” Jensen said.
Gabe looked at him carefully before replying. “I believe you will, young man. Well, then I hope you enjoy your evening, and I look forward to seeing you again,” Gabe replied, and with a tip of his cap, he was off down the street.
“Come on,” Jensen said, putting his arm around my shoulders and tucking me into his side as he started walking.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere safe,” he replied. I didn’t ask where, knowing in that moment that I’d follow him anywhere.
Chapter Twelve
Jensen
After bumping into her friend, Lauren seemed tense and withdrawn, and I sensed she was embarrassed about her father. But despite the change in her mood, I couldn’t help but feel as though running into Gabriel had been a blessing. The idea of her hiding in the corner of her room or motel lobby while her father partied with a load of guys from the bar made my blood boil.
It made no sense that I’d feel so fiercely protective about a girl I hadn’t so much as kissed, but I couldn’t help it. Lauren was a survivor. She was fierce and strong, and despite the circumstances of our meeting, I knew she was good. Sometimes people are born into circumstances so bad that pride and principles are the currency you have no choice but to barter in order to survive. That she would spend all day on her feet to scrape together a wage that she could probably make lifting a few wallets spoke volumes about the person she was. That she was the product of bad stock didn’t give me ammunition to judge her. It made be proud to stand by her side.
I could tell she was deep in thought as we walked to the pizza parlor. Knowing that, if I asked her, she’d say she wasn’t hungry, I ordered a large pepperoni pie to go and a large plain cheese, just to be on the safe side. The food smelled delicious, and after paying, I steered her back onto the street. Only when we stood in front of the Snowflake Inn did she come to her senses.
“This is your stop,” she said, looking up at the sign. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”
“Oh no, you don’t. You’re coming in with me,” I said, giving her shoulder a little squeeze.
“Oh no. I don’t think you’re allowed to entertain people in your room, and I’m pretty sure they won’t allow you to sit eating pizza in the lobby here,” she protested.
“The owner is lovely, and I’ve paid good money for my room, so I can see who I please in it. And if anyone protests, I’ll pay extra to cover your stay. Besides, we’re only going to eat some food and watch a movie. It’s not like we’re throwing a wild party.”
“Maybe I could stay for a little while, but I really don’t want to get you in trouble,” she said, though her protest was halfhearted at best. Now that the magic of our date had been somewhat dampened by her father’s behavior, she looked tired, and that made me want to take care of her even more.
I opened the door for her before she changed her mind, and it turned out that her fears were unfounded. The lobby was empty but for a receptionist who was talking on the phone. We hurried past her and into the lift up to my floor.
“It’s really nice here,” Lauren said, walking into my room as I closed the door behind us.
“It is nice,” I agreed, “and they do a great breakfast.” I put the food down on the coffee table and began unloading the bag when I noticed how awkward she looked, hovering in the middle of the room as though she had no clue what to do with herself.
“Do you mind if I use the bathroom?” she asked before I had a chance to say anything.
“Of course, it’s through there,” I said, pointing toward the only other door in the room. As she shut the door behind her, I turned on the television and flicked through the channels until I found something worth watching. I shrugged off my coat and toed off my boots before carting all of the food to the bed and opening up the pizza boxes.
“You look very cozy there,” she remarked as she walked back in.
“Hurry up and join me. You’re missing the best part,” I replied, nodding toward the television.
Distractedly, she dumped her shoes and jacket next to mine as she became engrossed in the film.
“I love Home Alone,” she said, and I grinned, happy that she liked my choice. She settled precariously against the pillows, and I handed her a napkin with a huge slice of pizza, determined to put her at ease.
“Thank you,” she said, and accepted the offering without protest, which was a huge win.
Half an hour later, I lifted the nearly empty pizza boxes and dumped them back on the coffee table, the two of us having nearly demolished our feast. She was still completely absorbed in the movie when I climbed back onto the bed next to her, and I knew that it was without conscious thought that she sat up slightly to make room for my arm, but I slid it under her neck anyway. She snuggled in next to me, and it felt so right. Like we’d done it a hundred times before. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. I thought back to all the amazing parties I’d attended, all the rich and famous people I’d mingled with, and all the podium wins I’d enjoyed, and yet not a moment of it compared to the pure joy of having her in my arms.
The movie ended, and another started, but by the slight rise and fall of her chest, I knew she’d fallen asleep. Warm and comfortable and with the intoxicating scent of her filling my lungs with every breath, I drifted off beside her. My last thought was to wonder what it would feel like to have this every night.
Chapter Thirteen
Lauren
Waking up warm and safe in Jensen’s arms this morning had been absolute bliss. He’d even ordered a breakfast tray up to the room that we’d devoured before he walked me back to the motel so I could change for work.
I was supremely confident that nothing could sour my good mood, least of all the smelly drunkard passed out on the sofa bed in our motel room. Since the night I’d slept rough, Dad and I had successfully managed to avoid one another. As far as I was concerned, it would be the merriest holiday I’d ever had if we managed to make it all the way to Christmas without speaking. This morning when I arrived at work, my pay had been waiting. I was so paranoid about having it lost or stolen, that I’d kept it inside my bra all day. I, more than anyone else, knew how easy it was to lift a wallet or purse.
So far, Jensen’s generosity, leftovers from work, and tips had allowed me to eat all week, but I needed to ration my money carefully if I was going to make it last. Especially if I wanted to try and save something out of it toward getting my own place. When I finally made it, I was going to start saving all over again for an oak bed, as beautiful as the one I’d slept in at the inn. It was the best night’s sleep I’d ever had. Of course, the fact that Jensen had been my pillow all night probably had something to do with it.
There was one indulgence I’d allowed myself to make, and that was to take Jensen out on a proper date. It was the very least I
could do after everything he’d done for me. Besides, one more week and he’d be gone, and I’d have the rest of my life to be careful with my money and put something aside for the future.
Before coming here, I’d been a realist. I knew what it was like to walk in the darkness behind the scenes while everyone else enjoyed the show under the spotlights. But meeting Jensen had changed my perspective. Now I saw hope where before there was only despair. Now I wanted more than just my next hot meal and somewhere safe to sleep. I wanted a future. I wasn’t foolish enough to even contemplate that it would include someone as amazing as Jensen, but I did know that I wanted security. A permanent home to call my own. A job where I was liked and respected by my colleagues. And one day maybe even the chance to finish school.
I stood before the mirror and smoothed down the skirt of my red dress. The fact that Dad had bought it for me in a thrift store once as part of a con should have put a dampener on my mood, but there was nothing that could do that tonight. I said a silent prayer of thanks that I had at least one item of clothing in my wardrobe suitable for a date, and I hoped Jensen wouldn’t find me too shabby. It was so easy to doubt myself when I thought about all the glamorous women he must have wined and dined on the Formula One circuit, but the fact of the matter was that he could have spent his Saturday night with any number of girls and he’d chosen to spend it with me. It was that thought that put a smile on my face and a little bit of extra color in my cheeks. I didn’t have much in the way of makeup, but I swiped on a little mascara and a hint of lip gloss anyway, just as the room’s doorbell rang. Dad snorted and turned over but thankfully remained asleep.
“You’re beautiful,” Jensen said, his mouth ajar in shock as he looked me up and down while I joined him outside.
“Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself,” I replied. He smelled so incredibly good, too, that I really was fighting the urge to just close my eyes and inhale him.
“Let me get that,” he said. Taking the jacket from my hand, he held it open for me to put on before offering me his arm.
“It doesn’t really go with my dress, but at least it’s warm,” I said, embarrassed that my coat, another thrift store bargain, was the same one I always wore. The same one I’d slept rough in only a week ago.
He stopped and turned me to face him. “Stop. It doesn’t matter to me how expensive your dress is or how many clothes you have in your wardrobe. You’re beautiful. Inside and out.”
“Life is so unfair. To let me meet someone so kind and charming and wonderful and then have them live so far away,” I whispered, brushing aside a stray tear.
He lifted his hands to cup my face and gently brushed away another tear with his thumb.
“What are you doing?” I asked as we walked along.
“It’s tradition,” he said, nodding his head toward the porch roof at the motel’s entrance, where a bright green sprig of fresh mistletoe hung from a beautifully tied red ribbon.
“I swear that wasn’t there when I got home,” I said.
“Maybe life isn’t so cruel after all,” he replied, and stepping forward, he pressed his lips against mine. It was everything. Magic. Explosions. Fireworks. All my Christmas wishes rolled into one. It was pure and chaste but touched with a tinge of desperation. As though, through one kiss, we could imprint the memory on each other’s souls. Forevermore I would remember the feel of the soft fullness of his lips, the way he held me as though he never wanted the kiss to end. And when it was over, he rested his forehead against mine, each of us as breathless as the other.
“Best. Kiss. Ever,” he said.
“We can do better,” I teased.
“I agree. We definitely need to get some practice in though.”
“Absolutely. Practice makes perfect,” I agreed.
I was dancing on clouds when he dropped me home, leaving me with another breathtaking kiss to remember him by. Every time I saw him, I swore that it was the best day of my life, but every memory we created always surpassed the last. I was falling for him, and I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t even want to try.
Grumpy’s Bar and Grill wasn’t exactly the glamorous, high-end restaurant I’m sure Jensen was used to, but I couldn’t imagine any other venue being more perfect. My skewed perspective of the place had been based on the fact that it was one of Dad’s hangouts, but he was sound asleep on the sofa at home so I was assured a drama-free evening.
The only tense moment we had was when we were discussing who would pay. I insisted on picking up the tab for the evening, despite his red-faced protest that he could buy the whole bar if he wanted to and that it was ridiculous of me to waste my first paycheck when he genuinely wouldn’t miss the money. I reminded him that, for the sake of my own pride, I needed this, and reluctantly, he let the subject drop after several mumbles about how a real gentleman wouldn’t let a lady pay. Of course, it was probably the same reason that he ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. After we’d eaten, we danced, played pool, laughed more than I’d ever laughed in my life, and finally walked home arm in arm, leaving Jensen’s truck at the bar.
“Shall we sit for a while?” I said, moving toward the rickety old porch swing in front of the motel.
“Will it hold us?” Jensen asked.
“I make no promises,” I replied. Taking his chances, he sat down gingerly.
“The mistletoe is gone,” I pointed out, looking up at where it had hung earlier.
“Don’t worry,” he said, smiling. “We don’t need it anymore.” We edged toward each other, and under a blanket of stars, with the bite of winter frost in the air, we kissed, and I gave Jensen Caldwell another little piece of my heart.
Chapter Fourteen
Jensen
I woke up, and I was smiling before I even opened my eyes. After our amazing date, we made out on the porch swing for half an hour before saying good night. Every day after that, I drove Lauren home when she finished her shift. Leaving her was the worst, but seeing her happy, smiling face when she saw me waiting for her was the best. Every night ended on that porch swing, and no matter how cold it might be or how tired we were, I’d never feel so much peace as I did swaying back and forth on that old hunk of rotting wood.
What I felt for Lauren was so much more than attraction. She was fast becoming my best friend. The person I wanted to talk to first about everything. The person I wanted to come home to every night. I was on cloud nine all the time, until the moment it hit me that today was the day of Ronnie’s funeral. I remembered why I was here, and my euphoric glow evaporated. If Lauren and I had met a few months ago, if she had seen how I had treated the people I loved as disposable, she wouldn’t have looked twice at me. I hadn’t been the kind of man she deserved in the past, but I could be. Perhaps I couldn’t forget my past or atone for my behavior, but I sure as hell could learn from it. I owed it to Lauren and Nancy. I owed it to Ronnie, and more importantly, I owed it to myself.
Nancy Adler’s house was packed to the rafters with well-wishers. It seemed that every person I spoke to had a different story to tell about Ronnie, and I was beginning to understand that mine wasn’t the only life he’d changed for the better. He’d been a truly inspirational person, and rather than sticking my head in the sand and forgetting about what had happened between us, I wanted to honor his memory. And so I spent the day chatting to his friends and family, to the people in the community who had admired him. I heard their stories of Ronnie and shared some of mine, and despite my worst fear that it would be a horribly morbid experience, it was oddly cathartic.
Through it all, Nancy had been stoic, a pillar of strength and compassion who seemed to put everyone else’s grief before her own. It wasn’t difficult to see why Ronnie had fallen head over heels in love with her. She’d shown me kindness and forgiveness at a time when she would have been completely justified in spouting rage and anger, and this was a testament to how wonderful she was.
The ceremony itself had been beautiful, a real celebration of life, and among th
e stream of photographs that were projected throughout his eulogy, I was touched to find myself in so many of them. When Ronnie and Nancy’s wedding picture appeared, Nancy sobbed, and my heart broke along with hers. But after a good cry, she wiped away her tears and carried on, and I knew I could live my whole life and never again meet someone with that kind of strength.
I was never far if she needed me, but it was long after the last guest had left and the dishes cleaned and put away that I finally had some alone time with Nancy. She was sitting on a bench in the garden when I took her a cup of tea.
“Megan showed me how you take it,” I assured her. “And there isn’t much in this world that can’t be improved with a good cup of tea.”
“Bless you, Jensen,” she said as I handed over the hot drink.
“So when do you leave?” I asked. I figured she’d stay for Christmas, but her daughters were moving suitcases around when I left to find Nancy.
“As soon as I’ve finished my tea I imagine,” she said, wistfully taking in the view.
“So soon?” I asked, surprised.
“I just can’t face spending Christmas here. Truth be told, I’m not sure I’ll ever be back. No matter where he was in the world, Ronnie always came home to spend the holidays with me. Everything here is just going to remind me of him and how much I missed him, so I’m going to try and make it to the ranch in time to watch my grandchildren put out their stockings for Santa. I’ll steal a little of their Christmas spirit and keep it for my own. So, how about you? What are your plans?”
“I’m staying for the dance at the community center tomorrow, and then my flight home leaves Christmas Eve morning,” I replied.
She said nothing but narrowed her eyes at me.
“What?” I asked, squirming under the weight of her stare.
“You’re richer than Croesus, so we both know you could charter a flight to make it home tomorrow. Hell, your team would probably send a private jet if you asked them to. Taking a commercial flight on Christmas Eve means you’ll probably miss Christmas Day with your mom. You’re delaying leaving so that you can go to the dance with Lauren, aren’t you?” she asked.
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