Neurological symptoms are potentially calamitous physically, but also psychologically, and not just to the unwell person, but also to their parents, spouses, children – their entire lives and those of all around them. The immense pleasure at seeing someone who could not walk make a slow but sure recovery is regularly countered by those patients we see who do not recover. Many can no longer hold their children or spouse and they may become dependent on others for the rest of their lives. Making these diagnoses on a daily basis reminds me just how fickle fate can be and how fragile is our humanity. And though I don’t always succeed, it prompts me to try to worry less about the ultimately fleeting problems that keep me awake at night. Life really is short and precious.
I find myself thinking almost constantly about the people I see each day. I marvel at how their brain had abruptly, and seemingly without any warning, ceased to work. Or how a person’s perfectly ordinary life gradually imploded over the course of many months before they came to see me. I think about our consultation, how it went, and their treatment. I think about my patients’ relationships, work and life – and about my own.
Beyond life’s leaking pipes and dodgy cars, doctors are forever worried by our choices in others’ care, more so than we celebrate the victories. So, no matter how we try to decompress, or switch off, or compartmentalize, we rarely stop thinking about the patients. Ultimately they are why we get up in the morning.
Acknowledgements
I have wanted to write about the daily highs and lows of life as a doctor on the frontline of patient care for many years. But I was self-conscious about doing so and it was only with the encouragement of others that I finally got the confidence to go ahead.
Noel Kelly gave me the final push to submit my initial stories for consideration, and he and Niamh Tyndall have been a tremendous support in this endeavour.
Michael McLoughlin, MD at Penguin Random House Ireland, surprised me by suggesting the stories would be worth publishing and editor Nora Mahony was a great help in putting some structure to my otherwise scattered early drafts.
Patricia Deevy at Penguin Ireland has been an incredible support throughout this process and has quietly steered me away from some of my initial thoughts, much to my now relief. I cannot thank her enough for her insights into the world of publishing, a world that was hitherto completely alien to me.
I thought friends might laugh at the thought of me writing a book and I was very relieved when they offered nothing but encouragement, so thanks to all of you – Bart, David BH, David O’D, Catherine, Kieran, Maurice, Gilda, Brian K, David L, Fiona, Eamonn, and friends from Smyth’s, among others.
Similarly, I was surprised but delighted that colleagues were so supportive when I mentioned I was writing about our lives as doctors in Ireland. To a man and woman they encouraged me when I was more than a little nervous about things. I admire all the doctors, nurses, receptionists, telephonists, therapists and porters I work with on a daily basis and I hope some of them might see aspects of themselves in this book – the highs as well as the lows – and know how much I appreciate their commitment to our patients. Thanks especially to Joe and Jackie and, of course, to Paula C who helps keep me sane.
Heartfelt thanks to Bellini who is the real writer and yet did nothing but encourage me when the book became a reality. I will forever cherish the many great times we have shared together.
I would especially like to thank my mother and my elder sister Judith who have been a great support throughout all of our lives and have helped us as a family remain as close as we are.
I meet my brothers Ryan and Garrett and sister Rachel on a weekly basis to chat about life, the world and the universe. It was at one of those meetings that the suggestion I write was first made and it was only with their support that I did not feel as foolish or narcissistic about writing a book as I might otherwise have done. I look forward to our few quiet beers every week and I cannot thank them enough for all they do for me.
THE BEGINNING
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PENGUIN IRELAND
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Penguin Ireland is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
First published 2019
Copyright © Niall Tubridy, 2019
The moral right of the author has been asserted
ISBN: 978-1-844-88458-2
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
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