by Sandi Lynn
I swallowed hard and watched the tears that started to run down his face. I knew this was too painful for him to relive. I knelt down in front of him, placing my hand on his.
“I’m so sorry, Andrew.”
"She was beautiful, Addison," he cried. “The doctors told us that the cord was wrapped around her neck inside the womb and probably had been for about a day. After that, Ellie started drinking and she became addicted to prescription pills. She constantly threatened to kill herself and she was very unstable. My plan was to leave her because there was nothing keeping us together anymore. But I couldn't because she needed help. What kind of man would I be if I just turned away from her in that state?”
I gently squeezed his hand.
“It got so bad that I had to send her to a psychiatric facility/rehab in Colorado. She was there for three months and she seemed to be doing better. I talked to her doctors and they told me she was stable, and they felt she was on the right track, so they released her back into my care. About a month after she was home and the constant fighting, we talked about a divorce and she agreed. I had my lawyers draw up and serve her with divorce papers. But she refused to sign them and started drinking and threatening suicide again. She told me it was my fault she was like this because I never wanted our baby and God took her from us.”
“That's not true. You did want her. I know you did.”
“I loved my daughter very much and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. A friend of mine told me that I wasn’t responsible for her behavior and that she's emotionally blackmailing me. One night, I came home from the office and found her on the bedroom floor, unconscious. I called 911 and had her admitted to a psychiatric hospital here in New York where she’s been for the past six months. I even moved out of our apartment. We’re only married by a piece of paper. I don't love her, and I never did. I was forced into that miserable marriage.” He snapped as he ran his hands through his hair.
“Then explain why you didn't tell me this from the start of our relationship?”
“I was scared that if you knew I was married, you wouldn't continue seeing me.”
“That explains why you didn’t want anyone to know we were seeing each other,” I spoke.
“I couldn't risk anyone seeing us together and telling her. Because if she found out about you, any chance of a divorce would be gone, and I would never be free of that bitch.” His jaw tightened.
“Andrew, if only you had explained that from the beginning, I would have understood.”
Andrew abruptly got up from his chair.
“Would you have, Addison? Think about it. You probably would have run as fast as you could have, and I wasn't about to lose you again.”
I sat there taking in the last part of his words. "Again."
"What do you mean lose me again?" I snapped at him.
He walked away. “I didn't mean that. I don't know what I'm saying.”
Andrew went over to the bar and downed a shot of bourbon.
“Addison, I think you should leave. I'll have Phillip drive you home.”
I stood there in shock. I wanted to comfort him, but he wanted me to leave. Now the tables were reversed.
“I think I should stay,” I spoke.
“I want you to go,” he spoke through gritted teeth.
“Fine. If that's what you want, Andrew,” I spoke in anger.
While he drank another shot of bourbon, I walked to the bedroom to gather my things. My stomach was on fire and my heart ached so badly that I wanted to rip it out. I grabbed my bag, and as I began to walk away, something caught the corner of my eye from underneath the bed. It looked like a photograph. I bent down, picked up the picture, and gasped. It was of me when I was a little girl.
My head started spinning as I bent down to see if there was anything else under the bed. I found a small box of photos, all of me at different ages in my life from sixteen years old on. There was even a picture of me, Emma, and Jasper at a restaurant back in Hartford. And a picture of me at my high school and college graduations. I felt sick to my stomach. Who was this man that once made me feel so safe but now scared the hell out of me?
"What's taking you so long?" Andrew said as he stopped dead in the doorway.
He saw me holding the box and the tears that streamed down my face.
“Fuck no. Not now,” he scowled.
I was shaking as he started to walk towards me.
“Don't you come near me.” I fell back. “What the fuck is this, Andrew?” I screamed.
He didn't say a word. It was almost as if he was afraid to speak.
“How the fuck do you know me and where did you get these pictures?”
“I can't explain right now. I'm sorry.”
“Fuck you. I hate you. You ruined my life just like you did Ellie's.”
I couldn't believe those words escaped my lips. He was taken aback by what I said.
“Just go and hate me forever, Addison. I deserve it.”
“You’re a stalker and a sick, sick man. You will explain to me about the pictures after I call the police.” I pulled my phone from my purse.
The look on his face turned to terror.
“No, Addison! You can't call the police. Please trust me. You have to trust me.”
“Trust you? You’ve been a liar since the day we met. I will never trust you as long as I live,” I screamed as I fell to my knees.
He walked over and tried to pick me up. I pulled away in fear.
“Don't you ever touch me, ever. Do you understand?" I screamed.
He walked over to the dresser, opened the drawer, and pulled out a box. He opened it and handed me a piece of paper with an address on it.
“Take this address and go. If you decide to go there, all your questions will be answered. I’m done with all this,” he said as he walked out the room and out of the apartment, slamming the door. I unfolded the paper and there was an address on it: 200 Clubhouse Drive, Palm Coast, FL 32137.
I left the apartment, shaking uncontrollably, and climbed into the SUV that was waiting outside. Phillip turned to me.
“I'm sorry, Addison, for everything.”
I clutched the box of pictures tightly against my chest.
“It's not your fault, Phillip. I just wish you would have told me to stay away from him.”
“Would you have even listened?” he spoke.
I walked into my apartment and into the living room, where Emma was finishing up a dress she was making, and Jasper was reading a culinary book. They looked up at me as I stood there shaking like a frightened rabbit clutching the box of pictures that couldn't be explained.
“Addison?” Jasper asked. “What’s wrong?”
Emma stopped what she was doing, went into the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of wine and three glasses. I couldn't say anything, I just stood there. I was paralyzed. Jasper jumped up from the couch and grabbed hold of me before I fell. Taking me over to the couch, he took the box from my hands and set it on the table. Emma handed me a glass of wine and I gulped it as if it was water.
“You have to tell us what happened, Addy,” Jasper spoke.
“What’s in the box?” Emma asked.
I couldn’t tell them. I didn’t want them to know what a sick bastard Andrew London really was, plus I didn’t want to freak them out.
“Just some things I left at Andrew’s apartment.”
“You went over there?” Jasper asked. “Did you see him?”
“Yeah. I did.”
I told them the story he told me about Ellie and the baby. They were shocked.
“I don’t understand,” Jasper spoke. “Why did you leave him after he explained everything to you?”
“Because he told me to leave. He didn’t want me there anymore. So I grabbed my stuff and left. It’s over for good.”
“Aw, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Emma hugged me.
“Me too,” I spoke.
Chapter Twenty-One
A week had passed.
I quit my job at LAC, and I hadn't heard from or seen Andrew since that night. I spent most of my days looking through help wanted ads and sketching. I was doing okay some days, or I thought I was. But, in reality, I’d shut down and barely existed.
I visited the Starbucks around the corner and ordered my usual latte and sat at my usual table. I opened my purse, and as I took out my phone, a piece of paper fell to the floor. I bent down and picked it up. It was the paper with the address Andrew gave me. After studying it, I looked out the window and gasped when I saw Andrew coming out of the shop across the street. I stared at him through the window as he crossed the street and headed towards Starbucks.
"Fuck," I whispered.
I crumpled the paper in my hand as he walked through the door. I didn't move and prayed he wouldn't notice me, but he did. He looked straight at me. I expected him to walk over and say something, but he ordered his coffee and then left. In an instant, he was gone, and I felt my heart ache. I looked at the crumpled paper in my hand. Andrew gave me this for a reason and he said all my questions would be answered. I wanted answers. I needed them. And the only way I was going to get them was by going to this address. The words, “I’m done with all this” still haunted me. What did he mean by that? Done with what? The answers I needed were at this address in Florida and I was going to get them. I picked up my cell phone and booked a flight to Florida.
After I finished packing, I left a note on the table for Jasper and Emma. I couldn’t tell them what I was doing or where I was going.
I flew into the Daytona Beach Regional Airport and hailed a taxi cab. I didn't know what I was going to find in Palm Coast, but I was ready for some answers. I gave the driver the address and I asked him what kind of neighborhood it was. He looked at me through his rearview mirror.
“Lady, this is the address of the Palm Coast Marina. It's not a neighborhood.”
I looked at him in confusion and my chest started tightening. Why would Andrew give me the address to a marina when he knew I couldn't be near them without having a panic attack?
Way to go, Andrew. Fuck me over one last time, I thought to myself. I grabbed my bag as I stepped out of the cab at the entrance of the marina. My heart started racing, but I was not going to let my insecurities stop me from what I was here for. I took in a deep breath and started walking down the marina, looking at all the boats that were docked there. I was here at the address Andrew gave me, but what was I looking for? I hadn't a clue, so I just kept walking.
It was a beautiful sunny day and much warmer than it was in New York. I took in the beautiful green grass along the marina and the perfectly kept boats, trying to stay in a positive state. I passed by a boat where a man was washing his deck. When I glanced over at him, he looked at me in a way that made me uncomfortable. I kept walking and looked straight ahead.
“Addison Rose?” the man called out.
I instantly stopped dead in my tracks and my heart started pounding uncontrollably. I slowly turned around and looked at him as I shielded my eyes from the sun.
“Don't be scared, please,” he spoke.
“How do you know my name and who are you?” I asked as I stood away from the boat.
He motioned for me to come closer, but I was frightened, and I couldn't get my legs to move.
“I didn't mean to scare you. I'm harmless, I can assure you of that.”
His voice sounded familiar to me. I slowly walked closer to the boat as the sun blinded my eyes. When I approached it, I looked up at this all-too-familiar man standing a few feet in front of me. His hair was black with a bit of gray throughout and his eyes were a deep brown. He had age lines on his face that could tell stories. Just like — no, it couldn't be. It was impossible. As I stood there with my racing heart and the feeling like I was going to pass out, he walked closer and stood in front of me.
"Daddy?” Everything went black.
I opened my eyes and looked at the man sitting on the edge of the bed beside me. I quickly sat up and brought my knees to my chest. Fear should have been coursing through my body, but somehow it wasn’t. He extended his hand and placed it on mine.
“It's okay, Addison. You passed out on the deck.”
I looked into his eyes, the same eyes that lit up every time he saw me since the day I was born.
“Charlie?" I whispered.
“I know it's a lot for you to take in, especially with what you've been going through, but just relax and I'll explain everything.”
I swallowed hard and the tears swelled in my eyes as I lunged toward him and hugged him for what seemed like hours.
“Oh God. I've missed you so much, Rosebud,” he cried.
“I don't understand. You're supposed to be dead.”
“I know, and to everyone, Charlie Belle is.”
I pulled back and wiped my eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Addison, you can never let anyone know about me, do you understand?”
I nodded my head.
“Let's go up to the deck. I'll grab us a couple of beers and we'll talk.”
I followed him up as he grabbed the beers and we sat down at a small round table. He placed his hand on mine.
"I was hoping this day would come." He smiled.
"Dad, I don't understand any of this.”
To me, this felt like a dream and I was so scared that I was going to wake up and he’d be gone.
"I'm in the witness protection program, sweetheart.”
My eyes widened at his words.
"Addison, you're not a little girl anymore. You’re a woman and you're strong. You have to be strong enough for me to explain all this to you.” His words were stern.
“Okay.” I nodded my head.
"I took on a case I shouldn't have. The defendant was very powerful. I came across some evidence that not only proved he was guilty for his crime but also for jury tampering and extortion. I confronted the opposing attorney about it, and during the trial, I received many threats. Trust me, these people weren't playing around. They threatened that if I didn't drop my client, they were going to rape you and your mother and then kill me in front of you."
My eyes swelled as I gently squeezed his hand.
"Addison, these people were serious, and they were very bad people. They carried out their threats. When I petitioned the judge to be dismissed as my client’s lawyer, he refused, saying it was too far into the trial. I went to the police and the District Attorney. They said if I turned in the evidence I had against the defendant to the FBI, they would put me in the witness protection program and make me vanish, then you and your mother would be safe and out of harm’s way."
“Dad." I sat there shaking. "How did you know they would believe you were dead?”
“The FBI had it set up to make it look like I fell overboard and drowned."
"The broken railing?" I asked.
"Yes, the broken railing. When you and your mother were asleep, a boat came to pick me up and took me away. Between news reports and media coverage, the defendant and his people were convinced I had died."
“Couldn't we just have run away?" I asked.
"No, Addison. These people would have found us. I had to protect you and your mother. I had no choice. I wasn’t going to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulder.” His voice was chilling.
“I don’t understand. If you turned the evidence in to the FBI, wouldn’t the defendant have gone to prison?”
“Yes, and he is in prison. But he still has people out there who would have come after us if I didn’t die.”
I closed my eyes for a second to absorb it all.
"The only thing that mattered to me, Addison, was yours and your mother’s safety. I didn't care about me. Keeping the two of you safe was all that mattered.”
Suddenly, an overwhelming anger infiltrated me.
“You fucking left your little girl to grow up without a father!” I spewed as I got up and walked over to the railing.
"I know, but I
had no choice. They were going to do bad things to you and it was my responsibility as a father to protect you. That is something you will never understand until you have your own children,” he spoke.
I turned away from him and stared at the calming water.
“Mom knows nothing about this?” I asked.
“No, and she can never know. You know your mother.”
“Damn it, Charlie. Do you know she married your best friend?”
“Yes. I do know she married Edward. He’s a good man, Rosebud, and I know he has taken good care of the both of you all these years.”
I gripped the railing as tight as I could. I was here because of Andrew and I wanted fucking answers.
“How did Andrew have your address? How does he fit into all this? Because I know damn well this is no coincidence,” I spoke through gritted teeth.
He walked over, stood beside me, and took in a deep breath. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a picture.
"I've kept this picture on me for the last seventeen years," he said as he handed it to me. “I took it the day before—”
“It’s a picture of me and AJ. But why?” I asked.
“Turn the picture over, Addison.”
I did as he asked, and written in black ink was our names, Addison Rose and Andrew James. I gasped.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“AJ is short for Andrew James?” My eyes widened.
“Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out. The two of you were inseparable every summer,” Charlie spoke.
“I was eight years old the last time I saw him. I didn’t even know his name was Andrew. Nobody ever called him that. Not even his parents. I only knew him as AJ. How the hell would I know he was Andrew?”
I placed my hands on my head as my anger and confusion grew.
“Why wouldn’t he tell me from the beginning?! For fuck sakes, I worked for his company. I was his girlfriend! Why would he find me and not tell me!”
“You think you met up with him all these years later by accident, Rosebud?”
“What?” I turned my head and stared into Charlie’s eyes.
“Andrew has been watching over you for the past nine years.”