by Layla Hagen
I was surprised to find Ryker’s office empty.
“Let’s wait in here,” I told Avery. “He’ll come soon.”
She immediately sat in his leather chair, spinning around, grinning from ear to ear. I intended to call him, then noticed that his cellphone was lying between two stacks of paper on his desk. Okay, nothing to do but wait, then. I sat on the other chair.
“Avery, please don’t touch anything,” I warned.
“Yes, Mommy. I’m a big girl. I’m careful.” She touched one of the stacks, just barely, but it tumbled down from the desk the next second. I jumped from my chair, trying to catch them all, but only managed to get a paper cut on my left palm. The papers just spread everywhere. Jesus! I went to my knees, gathering them. Shit, I didn’t know how to put them back in order. The pages weren’t numbered. I just placed them back on the desk as best as I could.
“Heather?” Owen’s voice sounded from the doorway. Crap.
“Hi, Owen. This is my daughter, Avery.”
He stepped inside, glaring at the disorderly stack of papers. “Those are confidential documents.”
“They just fell on the floor, and I put them back.”
“They fell because of me,” Avery said apologetically. “But I don’t know how. I was being careful.”
She was still sitting in Ryker’s chair, which Owen definitively didn’t appreciate.
“What are you doing here, Heather?”
“We’re just waiting for Ryker so we can go to lunch.”
“He can’t take a lunch break today. He’s in a huge meeting.”
“Oh. Okay. We’ll just wait for him.”
“It’s going to take hours. You can’t wait here. This is not a place for children.”
I straightened up, jutting my chin forward. “I know. It’s.... Can I talk to Ryker for a minute or leave him a message?”
“No. Look, Ryker needs to focus right now. He doesn’t have time to chase children around the office or clean up after them. He’s got more important things to do.” His voice was so harsh that Avery gasped. Her eyes widened. She clutched the armrests with her tiny hands. I rolled my palms into fists.
“I know you’re pissed about the article, but honestly, it’s your fault for bringing Dawson into this in the first place.” Now, why I went and said that I’ll never know, but attacking my girl just pushed me a little too far.
“I can do whatever the hell I want.”
“Yes, but I’m not going to let you take it out on my daughter and me.”
“Don’t wait up here.” With a dismissive nod, he turned around, leaving the office. I hurried to Avery, who was rubbing her eyes. Oh, no. She was crying.
I crouched to her level, cradling her head with both hands. “Baby girl, why are you crying?”
Avery let out a heart-wrenching sob. “Ryker doesn’t want to see us.”
“It’s not that, baby. He’s busy.”
“He forgot about us.” Her lower lip was trembling.
“Sometimes, you only find out you have a meeting a few minutes before. Like Mommy sometimes has to go for interviews, you know?”
“But now we’re here, and he’s not coming to see us,” Avery insisted. “What if he doesn’t want us anymore?”
My heart just cracked. “Avery, of course he does.”
“But that mister said that Ryker has more important things to do than us.”
“He only meant the meeting.”
“How do you know?” Avery asked, tearing up again. “How do you know?”
I had to change topics, take my girl’s mind off it.
“I just know, honey. Please trust me. Listen, why don’t we go home? We need to take your bag and leave for the airport anyway. Then you’ll be with Gran and Pops and all your animals.”
Her sobs subsided a little, but she held out her hands. Oh, no! Lately, she only wanted in my arms when she was inconsolable. I carried her all the way out of the building. On the cab ride to the apartment, I tried to talk more about her animals and her best friend there, Jillian, but she only gave me monosyllabic answers.
Once we were at home, we ate some leftover pasta, and then I did the last checks on her luggage. She was usually so bubbly and happy before leaving for Phoenix. But now, she was just sitting on her bed, dangling her feet. I sat next to her, caressing her cheek.
“Honey, what’s wrong? You don’t want to go?”
“I have to go. Tony misses me. And Gran and Pops too.”
“That’s right, they do.”
“Can you come with me?”
“To Phoenix?”
“Yes. Pleaaaase.”
Oh, God. I couldn’t just buy a last-minute ticket to Phoenix. But I also couldn’t just let my girl leave like this. She needed reassurance, and all the love I could give her. I just had to pack in a hurry and buy a ticket. It was only the weekend after all, and I could edit my articles out of my parents’ place too. Jesus, I already didn’t know my ass from my elbow. I checked the price of a last-minute ticket, because this was honestly the deciding factor. I blew out a breath of relief when I found one that fit in my budget.
Two hours later, when we met Mom at the gate, I was a mess, and so was Avery. I’d thought I managed to soothe her but quickly realized I hadn’t because my girl had wanted to stay in my arms most of the time. We barely made it on time to the airport. I’d texted Mom on the way to let her know I was traveling with them as well. Thankfully, she hadn’t asked why. She gave me the usual Mom-check, and her eyebrows went high up her forehead. She opened her mouth, but I shook my head lightly, pointing toward Avery. Mom pursed her lips but focused on Avery.
“Sweetie, Tony misses you. He can’t wait to see you.”
Avery sighed. “I miss Tony too.”
“I need to make a phone call before we board the plane. I’ll be right back.”
I walked a few steps away, because I didn’t want Avery to know I was calling Ryker. I hadn’t had time until now. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice. Only... he didn’t pick up. He was still in that meeting? I panicked when the ding for the voicemail came. Crap. What was I supposed to say?
“Ryker, hi! It’s me. I mean, you know that, of course.... Listen, I don’t know if Owen told you that he talked to me when we were in your office. Anyway, he was out of line, said things that upset Avery. She thinks—” Another deep breath. “—that you don’t want us anymore. And I just don’t know how to calm her down.” My voice wobbled. “Anyway, she asked me to come to Mom’s too, in Phoenix, and I couldn’t say no. I’m at the airport now. I’m staying this weekend—”
A ping informed me I’d used up all the seconds in the voicemail. I dialed his number again, then disconnected the call, because I had no clue what to say.
We still had a few minutes before boarding. Maybe he’d see the call and... call back? I’d really been hoping to hear his voice. When the flight attendant announced that passengers with kids were invited to board, I sighed, slipping the phone back in my purse.
Mom was magic—she really was. Within a few minutes, she managed what I hadn’t in hours: she shifted Avery’s focus completely. By the time we were sitting inside the plane, Avery was telling us both everything she wanted to feed Tony... right before she fell asleep.
Mom waited exactly five seconds before pouncing on me.
“Want to tell me what’s going on? I’m happy of course, but why are you coming with us?”
“Avery asked me to.” Mom listened closely while I half whispered everything, afraid to wake up Avery.
“She’s a little emotional,” I finished.
“And how are you?”
Good question. I was...
“Tired. Guilty. Wondering if I’m selfish.”
“For what?”
“Not keeping it just the two of us, like I promised her all those months ago.”
“Don’t you think like that.”
“I know, I know. I’m just a mess.”
Mom put a hand over mine sympathe
tically. I was so glad that she was here. “I’m going to take care of both my girls. You just wait.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ryker
I was blurry eyed by the time the meeting with the PR team ended, hours later. It had been a complete clusterfuck, and it wasn’t over yet. Our PR people were desperate enough about Dawson’s article that they’d brought the heads of all departments into this, and the directors. Tomorrow everyone was meeting again.
I went into my office, slumping into my chair. It was seven o’clock already. This day had just been insane. Then I remembered that I’d made plans with Heather and Avery for lunch too, so I could say goodbye to Avery before she left for Phoenix. Goddammit. How had I forgotten?
I was about to call Heather when my phone rang. Skye was calling and I picked up immediately.
“Dear brother, have you forgotten about us?” she asked.
“Sorry, I got caught up in a meeting. Heather and I were supposed to meet you at the Irish pub.”
“Yes. Half an hour ago. Anyway, Heather messaged to tell me she can’t make it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Thought you’d tell me.”
“I’ll talk to her and then call you back.” I sat straighter. What was going on?
“Okay.”
When I hung up, I jumped out of my chair, about to call Heather, when I was interrupted again. Owen came into my office.
“Ryker, we should finalize the—”
“I’ll do that tomorrow. I need to call Heather. I completely forgot I made lunch plans with her.”
“I saw her in your office, with her daughter, just before I joined the meeting.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were already in the meeting room.”
“I could’ve just stepped out for a few minutes.”
“Look, I needed you to have your head in the game.”
“When have I not had my head in the game?” I barked.
“Lately, your focus has been split. A general piece of advice: those who make it far in this industry know where their priorities lie. You don’t have time for chasing kids in your office, and I told them as much.”
“You fucking didn’t.”
“I did.”
“I don’t need your advice on how to lead my personal life. I deliver results, that’s all that concerns you. Refrain from any other comments.” I spoke through gritted teeth, barely keeping my temper in check. “This is your fuckup, Owen.”
Owen narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything else. Good for him, because I was pissed anyway. I walked out of my office, heading straight to the elevators, intending to call Heather on the way, then noticed I had a voicemail from her. Had something happened to her and Avery? Why didn’t she make it to the pub?
I slid in the empty elevator, listening to the voicemail on the way down. Panic crawled up my body from her first word, and then it just kept magnifying. Holy shit, she sounded on the verge of tears. My woman was almost crying! When she mentioned Avery, I nearly lost it.
I listened to the voicemail again as I left the building, as if that would help me digest it better. It didn’t. Once outside, I leaned against a wall, closing my eyes, just trying to calm down, but it was impossible. It was as if I had a stone lodged in my throat, pressing on my chest.
I wanted to go back up and take my anger out on Owen, but that wouldn’t help jack shit. What would help? I had no idea.
I unhitched myself from the wall though, because just hanging around here sure wasn’t going to solve anything.
I’d almost forgotten about my siblings again when Skye messaged me.
Skye: Are you coming?
Ryker: On my way.
My family was just what I needed. I walked at a brisk pace, bypassing a group of tourists that had come to a night tour of the city, blocking out the guide’s voice rattling information about Wall Street’s history.
In fact, I was trying to block out everything: the sound of cars, the occasional billboards... I wanted to focus on my own thoughts, but it seemed impossible at the moment.
The Irish pub where I was meeting everyone was just a few blocks way. The crowds thinned the closer I got. Cole had a knack for picking spots that were central but not overrun.
When I reached the pub, I noticed my siblings through the window, at a table. I made my way past a group of smokers holding beers in front of the building. As soon as I stepped inside, Cole waved at me. He looked so relieved to see me that I was willing to bet anything our sister had just cornered him about something.
“Sorry I’m late, everyone,” I said, sitting next to Skye, opposite Tess and Cole.
Tess winked. “You’re here, though. Thought you forgot all about the ruse.”
“What ruse?” I asked, trying to sound innocent.
“You know... pretending you need our help just so you have an excuse to make sure you feed us and get us out of the store.”
Damn, they’d caught on so fast? That explained why Cole had looked so cornered when I arrived.
“It’s nothing you haven’t done before,” I volleyed back. “Remember my first few years at the bank? When you took turns dropping by my apartment? Sometimes with food, sometimes just to check if I was alive?”
Since they were a little older, they’d already had the tough years behind them by the time I embarked on the hamster wheel.
Skye nodded. “It’s true. We did that. To be honest, I quite like having all of you coddle us. By the way, Ryker, did you find out what’s up with Heather?”
I swallowed hard. “She flew to Phoenix with Avery and her mom.”
Tess frowned. “Did something happen? She’s not exactly the type to decide in less than a day to jump on a plane.”
I didn’t know how to explain everything, so I asked them to listen to the voicemail.
Tess flinched, looking at me with pity.
“Oh, poor Avery,” said Skye.
Their reactions just intensified my own anguish. How was I supposed to reassure Avery and Heather? How was I supposed to be the person they needed me to be?
“So, I know that you’ve come here this evening to coddle us, but I think the roles just reversed,” Tess said. “And coddling requires me to sit next to you, so scoot over a bit.”
I laughed as Skye and I shifted on the bench, making space for Tess. I felt so confused and exhausted at the moment that I didn’t think I could be of any use to them anyway.
“Holy shit,” Skye said, eying me wearily. “You’re not even pretending to have it all under control. That’s so unlike you.”
Tess turned to Cole. “You know how Skye and I used to joke that Ryker wouldn’t realize he’s in love even if it smacked him in the head? We take it all back. Means there’s hope for you too.”
Cole cocked a brow. “You can tell you were wrong because he looks miserable? You’re not exactly selling me on love right now.”
Skye groaned. Tess shook her head.
“No, silly. We can tell that by the fact that he’s all over the place because Avery and Heather are hurting,” Skye explained.
“Being all over the place is still not a good selling point,” Cole pointed out. “But let’s focus on the important part: Avery and Heather.”
Tess rubbed her forehead, laughing. “You’re right. We’ll circle back to your odd views on love another time. Now we have to focus our efforts on Ryker.”
“Yes, please do,” I encouraged them.
Skye patted my shoulder. “I know why you’re beating yourself up. Stop doing it.”
“How? We’ve been in Avery’s shoes. We know how it feels... not to be wanted,” I said.
“This isn’t the same thing. Dad left us,” Tess said, glancing at Skye and Cole as if inviting them to chime in with their opinions.
“I know, but I’m still—”
“Questioning yourself?” Skye asked sympathetically.
I nodded, relieved that she got it.
“Hell,
no,” Tess exclaimed. “No. No. Absolutely not. We won’t let you do that.”
“Jesus!” Cole exclaimed. “I was going to order a beer, but I need something stronger if we’re getting into that. Anyone else?”
Tess clapped her hands. “I’m with you. Something that will inspire me to come up with motivational quotes... but also keep my mind clear.”
“Just water for me,” Skye said. “But I do want some food. I give really bad advice on an empty stomach.”
“You do,” Cole agreed. “How about—”
I interrupted him. “Cole! Don’t hijack our sister’s attention. I still need it on me. All of it.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Heather
Being under my parents’ roof was always a treat, but never more than now. This was like a time capsule from my childhood. They hadn’t changed any of the furniture. I was sitting on one of the neon-orange chairs at the enormous kitchen island. They contrasted starkly with the polar white kitchen. Dad had left early this morning to go to his chess club, as he’d done every day since retiring. Business as usual. Avery was still asleep.
As Mom and I started baking all my favorites—blueberry pancakes, chocolate muffins, and apple tarts—she mentioned that Avery had gotten up briefly this morning to feed Tony, and that she’d seemed very happy.
And just like that, I remembered Avery’s heartbreak yesterday and my eyes started burning. I blinked quickly, hoping to keep the tears at bay. I swallowed hard a few times, breathing through my nose. The burning sensation descended, lodging in my chest. Not even the smell of my mom’s cooking was lessening it.
As if sensing I needed a distraction, she pointed to the oven.
“Want to do a quality control on those?”
“Oh, yes.”
Grabbing a toothpick, I opened the oven door, poking the first few muffins. They were just perfect. My mouth watered with anticipation.
“I know you want to steal one. Go ahead. I’ll pretend I didn’t see,” Mom said.
I jutted out my lower lip. “But half the fun was always sneaking them.”