Shaking her head, she said quietly, “I can’t believe they would hold you to such a thing.”
“I gave my word, Lily. If I had known I was going to meet you, I wouldn’t have made that commitment. The decision’s been made. As I said, I never expected to feel about someone the way I feel about you. Everything about you is delightful—your humor, your energy and your zest for life …” His voice trailed off.
She looked across at him. “But all that isn’t enough?”
“I’m explaining things to you the best that I can.”
She lowered her head again. Tears escaped from her eyes and she couldn’t stop them. Soon her cheeks were wet with tears. Wiping the moisture from her face with the back of her hand, she stood. “I have to go.”
“We’ll go.” He leaped to his feet and took hold of her arm, and together they walked out the restaurant door and hurried back to his buggy.
Once he got into the driver’s seat beside her, he said, “I never meant it to happen this way. It was a mistake to take you to a restaurant. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She shook her head. “You weren’t to know I’d cry like a fool.”
“You’re not a fool, Lily. You’re a wonderful and amazing woman. I’m the fool for making a commitment before I was mature enough to know what an impact that could have. I didn’t know what love … I can’t say more out of respect for my future wife.”
Hearing him say the words ‘future wife’ upset her even more. She steeled her heart and sniffed back her tears, telling herself she could cry all she liked once she got back home and was safely in her bedroom.
“I’ll take you home, but shall we at least get some take-out? I don’t want you going hungry.”
“Okay.” Lily agreed because she didn’t want him to know how devastated she was by the news. It had been the last thing she’d expected him to say. If only she hadn’t expected him to propose.
They went through the drive-through of the local burger restaurant and ordered fries and burgers.
“I’ll eat mine at home,” Lily said when he passed her the food.
“Okay. I’ll wait before I eat mine, too.”
They journeyed to Lily’s house in silence while Lily did her best not to think about anything to prevent further tears. Part of her was angry with Elijah for being so silly. She’d always thought he was sensible, but promising himself in marriage with someone he didn’t love was foolhardy. The other part of her was angry with herself for falling in love with him.
By the time they got to her house, Lily was so upset she thought she’d be sick. With the food on her lap, she sat fiddling nervously with her prayer kapp until Elijah took her hand into his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Everything will turn out well for you, Lily.”
“How can you know that?”
“You’re wonderful. How could it not?”
Lily nodded and forced herself to smile while her insides tumbled.
Nothing made sense. Why did God let this man into her life only to take him away? It was cruel to offer someone something and then snatch it away. It was like showing a hungry person a bowl of food only to tip it out at their feet.
“I’m glad you told me this now, Elijah.”
“I didn’t know when the right time would be. It would’ve been weird to tell you sooner because I wasn’t certain how you felt about me, but as we got closer …”
“There’s no need to explain.” She pulled her hand back, and then stepped down from the buggy with the take-out bag tucked under her arm. “I guess I’ll see you ’round, Elijah.” It was her fault for pursuing him so relentlessly. She knew that now.
He nodded and, with longing in his eyes, said, “Goodbye, Lily.”
She gave a little nod as she couldn’t say more, and then she turned and made her way to the house. The clip-clop of the buggy horse rang out behind her as she opened the front door. After she took off her shawl and hung it on the peg, she stepped further inside to see four pairs of eyes staring at her in silence. Her parents and her cousins were sitting in the living room.
“You’re early, Lily. We didn’t expect you …” Then her mother saw her face.
Lily knew she looked a dreadful mess, no doubt with swollen red eyes and a ruddy face. “Who wants this?” She stretched out the paper bag toward the cousins. “It’s burgers and fries.”
“Who’s it for?” Violet asked.
“It was supposed to be mine, but I can’t eat.” Since neither of the cousins said anything, Lily said, “I’ll leave it in the kitchen and whoever wants it can have it.”
Her mother jumped up and raced after her, grabbing her by the arm when she’d caught up with her. “Lily, what’s wrong?”
Lily pulled her arm back. “It’s too hard to explain.”
“I know something’s wrong. You went out to dinner with Elijah, and went off happily. Now you return early with take-out. What happened, Lily?”
“Everything went wrong. We didn’t get along at all, we had a difference of opinion, and he politely got me take-out and drove me home. I’m finished with Elijah Bontrager. We’re through!”
Her mother raised a quizzical eyebrow. “But you always got on with him so well.”
“Not anymore.”
“Did you have an argument? Sometimes having an argument is a healthy thing to do. It sorts out your differences and then you can put them behind you or find a common ground.”
Lily shook her head and tossed the take-out bag on the long wooden table. “Don’t look for anything to make sense, Mamm, nothing does. We get along fine, but our relationship will never go anywhere and he told me that tonight. I’m just a friend to him.”
Her mother’s face soured. “I suppose that’s best for you to find out now before you developed any real feelings for him.”
Lily knew her mother had no idea how she felt or that she’d already fallen in love with Elijah while trying to tell herself she didn’t want marriage. Deep in her heart, she wanted to get married, to have her own home and babies, but only with Elijah.
Rubbing her sore eyes, Lily sighed. “I suppose I should get an early night.”
“Don’t you want to stay up? Your vadder was telling the girls stories about when he was young.”
Lily untied the strings of her prayer kapp. “I’ve heard them all before.”
“So have I, but he tells them so well. I like to listen.”
“You listen, then. I’m going up to my room.” Lily had only taken two steps away from her mother when her mother spoke.
“How about I bring you up a nice cup of hot tea?”
Lily turned around and gave her mother a tiny smile. “Denke, Mamm, that’d be gut.” Her mother always thought that either hot tea or food would solve all life’s problems. It was then that Lily spied the roses Elijah had given her. She hurried toward them and picked them out of the vase. With the water dripping from the stems, she marched outside and threw them in the garden.
Walking back inside, she saw her mother staring at her with an open mouth. She grabbed the mop from behind the door and mopped the water droplets from the floor. “I’ll rinse the vase tomorrow morning, Mamm, and then I’ll put it away.”
“I’ll do that for you, Lily.”
“Denke, Mamm,” Lily said, hurrying past her mother.
Chapter 15
Nancy poured the hot tea into the teacup and put a couple of cookies on a plate for Lily. When she was at the bottom of the stairs, Violet came alongside her.
“Would you like me to take that up to Lily, Aunt Nancy?”
“Nee, I should do it. I need to have a little chat with her. It’s nothing to worry about. She’s just a little upset.”
“Okay.”
Nancy’s nieces were quiet, reserved and very polite; nothing like Lily or Daisy. If only Lily had been more like her cousins then things might have gone easier for her. Nancy feared that the path of love would never run easily for her remaining unmarried daughter. And no
w with her sadness over Daisy going, things would be harder for Lily all round.
The door of Lily’s bedroom was slightly ajar. Nancy leaned her body against it and entered the room to see Lily already in her nightgown, running a brush through her hair as though nothing was wrong. Nancy spotted an uncluttered area on the nightstand and placed the tray down.
“How are you feeling now? A little better?”
“Fine. I’m fine, Mamm. I don’t know what got into me. I don’t know why I was crying. If he’s not the right man for me, it has to be someone else.”
Nancy sat down on the bed. Her first thought was that Lily was only telling her what she wanted to hear, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, she felt a glimmer of hope that at last Lily was being sensible. “That’s right. You’ll meet someone else. Elijah just wasn’t the right one for you. But I see the way Matthew looks at you and I know he just adores you.”
“Which Matthew? I know a few.” She knew her mother was referring to Matthew Schumacher, her close friend from the markets who also happened to be her brother-in-law since his older brother was married to her older sister.
“Matthew Schumacher.”
“He’ll be a good husband for somebody. He’s got a lot of good business ideas and he’s acting on them, not just talking about them.”
“You see? Maybe Matthew’s the man for you.”
“Maybe.”
“Well if you need to talk, I’m always here.” Nancy knew it would be hard for Lily to confide in anybody but her twin. Daisy and she had always been close-knit and that was why she’d never had the same bond with the twins as she’d had with her two older daughters. The twins had only ever needed each other.
Nancy stood up, leaned over and kissed Lily on the forehead. “You know, if we can cast all our cares on Him—”
“Jah, I know the rest. Denke, Mamm. I’ll pray and everything will be okay.”
Her words were glib, but when she glanced at her daughter’s face once more, she felt a glimmer of hope that she might have been sincere. “That’s the best we can do.”
“You’ve been a gut mudder to me.”
A surprised giggle escaped Nancy’s lips. It was nice to hear.
* * *
When her mother left the room, Lily reached over and took the teacup on the nightstand in both hands. The cup was shaking in her trembling hands and she couldn’t steady it. It was no use trying to drink it—she was too upset, and what’s more, her stomach churned. The cup landed with a clink back on the saucer.
She’d seen a glimpse of true love before it had been snatched away. There were no words to describe how she felt when she was around Elijah. It was as though she wasn’t living when he wasn’t around. No one else had made her feel like a lantern had been lit inside her.
One by one, she thought about all the men she’d ever liked. Nathanial made her laugh and he was exciting to be around, but could she trust him? Although he was handsome, with rich brown hair and vivid blue-green eyes that stood out against his tanned olive skin, one of the most important things for Lily was to have a man she could trust. Then there was Matthew who was nice as well as trustworthy. He’d be a good provider and he’d be a good father. Out of the various other men she could think of, Matthew stood out in front of them all.
If only Elijah would back out of the arrangement. It was no use; she knew that Elijah was not going to go back on his word. God had to have other plans for her, which meant she would have to forget all about Elijah Bontrager. Why had he bought her those flowers and been so nice to her? It had felt good to throw the flowers away. If Elijah was thinking about marrying someone else, then so should she.
* * *
The next day, Lily went to work as though nothing had happened. It was hard to do, but she put on a brave face and did the best she could to forget about Elijah. In between customers, she talked with Matthew and found out more about his business plans. It still seemed unlikely that someone as young as Matthew could have such grand plans. Lily had thought at one time that Tulip and Matthew might become a pair, but it clearly was never to be when Wilhem came on the scene.
* * *
Still unable to shake the notion of Elijah married to someone else, on her way home, she stopped at Valerie’s house. She had to unload her heavy heart onto someone. Valerie and she had become close in the past months, even though Valerie was closer to her mother in age.
Valerie was also a good friend to Ed Bontrager, Elijah’s father. Ed and Valerie had both lost their spouses and appeared to be fond of one another. Lily’s mother often had Valerie and Ed and his sons over for dinner. It would be convenient if Ed had mentioned something to Valerie of Elijah’s plans and if so, Valerie might be able to tell her more about the situation that Elijah had gotten himself into.
A short time later, Lily sat opposite Valerie, drinking tea.
“Are you sure that’s what he said? He’s marrying some woman he hardly knows from Lowville?” Valerie asked upon hearing the whole story.
“I wouldn’t make a mistake about a thing like that.”
“No one has mentioned anything to me, but I never asked. I knew they had some kind of relative or friend who was starting a community up that way somewhere and I heard someone was going to marry someone, but this is the first I’ve heard that Elijah was going away to marry someone. I always thought you and he—”
Lily cut across her, saying, “I was starting to think that way too. That’s why I was so surprised and upset when he told me. He said he was going in less than a year. That means I have to see him for a long time, knowing that he’s just going to go off and marry someone else.”
“Don’t upset yourself. I’m seeing Ed tomorrow. I’ve offered to make some curtains for his haus and I’m meeting him at his home to take some window measurements. I’ll ask him about Elijah’s plans while I’m there.”
“That would be wunderbaar, but please don’t say that I said anything.”
“Nee, I won’t. I’ll work it into the conversation somehow. I’ll just say that I’ve heard talk. I won’t tell him more and he might not even ask me.”
“Denke for doing this for me, Valerie. I don’t talk to many people about my secrets now that Daisy has gone.”
“You’re speaking about her like she’s dead. She’ll come back, and when she does, you two will be closer than ever. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
Lily shook her head. “I don’t think we’ll ever be close like we once were. I don’t think she really cares about me anymore. She doesn’t need me because she’s got Bruno.”
“We all need our sisters, and twins are even more special.”
“I have to wait and see, I guess. She seems to have been gone for so long.”
“Tomorrow, after I’ve finished up with Ed, I’ll come to the markets and tell you what I’ve learned.”
“That would be gut, denke. And, that way, we can keep it just between us.”
“Exactly.”
Chapter 16
“Mamm!” Lily raced into the house and closed the door behind her.
Her mother raced out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you yelling?” Her mother’s hand flew to her heart. “You gave me a dreadful fright.”
“Sorry, I just wanted to ask you about something.”
“What is it?”
Lily giggled at her mother’s face. “Not like this. We have to sit down and have a mother-daughter talk.”
“Okay. We haven’t done that in a while.”
“I’ll make us a cup of tea.”
While they waited for the pot to boil, they both sat down at the kitchen table.
“I’ve just been to visit Valerie.”
“Did you tell her about what happened between you and Elijah?”
“Jah, I did. She won’t repeat it. She’s become a friend.”
Her mother nodded. “I’m glad you find you can talk to her. Sh
e’s sensible.”
“She gave me some good advice.”
After Lily got up to make the tea, she pushed a cup toward her mother and sat down with one in front of herself.
“I was wondering if there was ever anything between her and Ed years ago, when they were single.”
Her mother frowned. “In what way?”
“Daisy and I often talked about it. We noticed the first time they had dinner here. We sensed something between them.”
With a slight raise of her eyebrows, her mother took a polite sip of tea. When she placed the cup back in the saucer she looked across at Lily. “Long ago … and this is only for your ears.”
“Of course, I’ll never repeat it.”
“Long ago, before either of them married, they were friendly.”
Lily pulled a face. “What does that mean? They were just friends or something more?”
“It’s so long ago that it’s hard to remember exactly. I recall thinking at the time that they’d most likely marry, but they didn’t. I was a newlywed at the time so I was occupied with other things. Ed was gone for some time and came back with a wife from Lowville.”
Lily gasped. “That’s where Elijah has to go to get married. That makes sense. He said his mother and father were living in Lowville for some time before they moved here.” Lily nodded, trying to fit the pieces together. “How does everything fit in? Didn’t Valerie come from Ohio when she married Dirk? Was she ever here before that?”
“Valerie had a friend here that she’d visit once a year.”
“Ah. And she would’ve met Dirk and Ed on her visits.”
Her mother nodded and took a sip of tea.
“And how long after Ed got married did Valerie marry Dirk?”
“About a year.”
“I wonder if Ed broke her heart.”
Her mother leaned toward her. “Did she say anything?”
“Nee. I never asked. I would feel awkward asking her anything about Ed. I know they’re very friendly.” Lily wouldn’t tell her mother that Valerie was finding out information about Elijah from Ed, who was Elijah’s father. She was sure her mother might be a little shocked that Valerie was playing along with what she would call one of Lily’s schemes.
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