by Amy Lamont
My eyes grew wide. His bah humbug attitude almost made my heart hurt. I wanted to jump in and explain about the magic of Christmas. How celebrating this season the way I celebrated with my parents, kept them with me always.
But I bit my lip and kept my eyes trained on his profile, studying his carefully controlled expression. He didn’t give much away, but something about his posture, his too-blank features, made me question his cynicism. The grief-stricken fourteen-year-old girl that lived inside me, the one who still pined for the parents taken from her too soon, recognized something in the man sitting beside me. I couldn’t help but feel his careful control hid something, hid the same kind of sorrow I knew all too well.
I’d put up walls around me after my parents died. I never let myself get too excited over anything. I stopped doing anything that reminded me of my parents. And I’d eaten my weight in chocolate chip cookies, adding an extra twenty pounds to my frame, something that offered another kind of protection.
In my case, I had good friends not willing to accept my boundaries. They busted through until my misery became more of a dull ache, and they helped me realize I didn’t have to let go of my parents. I could keep them with me by continuing our family traditions. Like coming back to this hotel, the place they first met, every year.
Nate looked like he could use someone to blow through his boundaries. And in that moment, I wished with all my heart that someone could be me.
I gave an internal eye roll at my own crazy thoughts. I knew the man for all of twenty minutes, and I was looking to slay his demons for him. But as crazy as the thoughts were, as I stared at him, I couldn’t fight the urge to try, if only just a little.
I did exactly what I wanted to do when I first spotted him in the lobby. I reached out and traced the back of my hand along his jawline, enjoying the slight scrape of the dark five o’clock shadow there against my skin.
He stiffened and turned cold amber eyes on me. I snatched my hand back like a child touching a too hot stove, and then folded it into my other hand and shoved both of them into my lap.
I stared up at him, not sure what to expect. His gaze probed mine as the seconds ticked by.
“Sorry,” I finally murmured, embarrassed at my lack of control.
His eyes warmed and corners of his lips tilted up. Great. At least I continued to amuse him.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said.
Maybe I read him all wrong, let my imagination get carried away and cast him as some kind of tragic hero. Maybe he just found all the Christmas stuff tiresome. Lots of people didn’t like the holidays for one reason or another. Maybe I was just grasping for a connection that wasn’t really there.
This time I sighed out loud and then grabbed my drink off the bar, using it to hide my discomfort. I usually felt out of place and a bit awkward in these types of social situations. But in this case, I was so out of my depth, I could almost feel the icy water closing over my head. Maybe I should just call it a night.
As I had the thought, the amusement dropped from Nate’s face. The shutters came down over his eyes again and there wasn’t even the hint of a smile around his mouth.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
I put my drink down on the bar with a loud plunk. There probably wasn’t enough alcohol here to lubricate me to the point of losing my inhibitions, especially with a man like Nate. What on earth was I thinking with this scheme?
I reached for my small clutch. “You know, maybe I should just...”
Before I could form an excuse or an explanation, Nate reached out and placed a hand on my knee. “Hey, what just happened here?”
I looked at him and wanted to cringe. That stripped bare, itchy-under-the-skin feeling I had when I thought about other people reading my articles assailed me. I shifted uncomfortably on my stool and my skin where he touched me burned to the point it was almost painful.
I raised wide eyes from the hand on my knee to meet his gaze. “I don’t think I’m very good at this,” I whispered.
His gaze sharpened and his voice was like the edge of a razor. “Good at what?”
I shrunk into myself a little at his coldness. But since I started this, I might as well go all in with completely mortifying myself. I flicked a hand back and forth, gesturing between us. “This. Flirting. Trying to pick up a stranger in a bar. I don’t do things like this.” I dropped my voice to a whisper on the last few words and my face turned down toward my lap.
“You don’t do things like this?”
The cold had leached from his voice, leaving it a little warmer and almost raw like a growl.
The sound made me lift my head and search his face before I told him, “I don’t do things like this. Ever.”
And it was the truth. The two semi-serious boyfriends I’d had were both guys I’d been friends with first. In both cases, the more-than-friends thing had slowly developed and then slowly fizzled out again. I wasn’t a virgin, but neither was I the type to have mad, passionate sex with a stranger.
“I’m sorry,” I offered.
He smiled. A genuine smile with real warmth. “Why are you apologizing again?”
I shrugged. “I feel like I misrepresented myself here.”
He outright grinned this time. “By sitting down next to me at the bar and exchanging small talk?”
“We both know it’s more than that. The dress,” I waved my hand down to show off my barely there dress, “the cleavage, the long stares.” I shook my head. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you. It’s because I am that I even took things this far. But really, I don’t want to waste any more of your time.”
I started to slide off my stool, holding tightly to my clutch. Before I got more than one foot down, he wrapped a hand around my upper arm to hold me in place.
“Wait,” he said.
My lips parted. “Wait?”
“Wait.” He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “Just wait.”
I froze in my spot, held motionless by the look in his beautiful amber eyes. “Wait for what?”
“This.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, once and then again, before pulling back only enough to leave a breath of space between our mouths. “You taste delicious.”
“It’s the ginger ale and tequila,” I whispered inanely.
He smiled and kissed me again, smiling against my mouth. “It’s all you.”
After that there was no chance at conversation. He slanted his lips against mine and kissed me hard and deep. His tongue sought entrance and my lips parted. Liquid pleasure meandered from where his mouth met mine and moved to every part of me, warming me everywhere.
I moaned and slid the rest of the way off the stool. My body melted into his. His hands closed on my hips. I could feel him clenching and unclenching them as he pulled me closer, stroking his tongue in and out of my mouth.
A throat clearing close to us made Nate lift his mouth from mine. But he didn’t let go of his grip on my hips. Didn’t allow me to pull away from him.
His head turned and I followed suit, twisting to see the bartender hiding a grin. “Can I get you two anything else?”
Shit. A quick glance around showed me we’d become the center of attention for several of the bar patrons. My cheeks heated and I dropped my forehead to Nate’s shoulder. I had forgotten everything during that brief kiss—where we were, who was watching. That I couldn’t let him strip me naked in the middle of a bar.
His hand moved absently, soothingly, over my back. I took a deep, shuddering breath before lifting my head. Nate looked down at me, his eyes searching my face. He used a hand under my chin and placed an almost chaste kiss on my lips.
“I’d like to get a room with you,” he whispered.
My heart stuttered and then picked up enough speed that I thought it might jump right out of my chest. His gaze held mine captive. My thoughts were so scattered I didn’t think I’d ever pick up enough of them to form a coherent sentence. My mouth opened once and then closed. Al
l I could manage was a nod.
“Do you need to tell your friend?”
My friend? I blinked and then mechanically turned my head to scan the room. My eyes landed on Paige to find her grinning from ear to ear. Reality filtered back in. I shook my head, but Paige just nodded and gave Nate a quick once-over before sending me a thumbs-up.
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Nate to find him observing us with an amused smile.
“I think she’ll manage to find her way home by herself,” I said.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Chapter 4
I stared at him. I’m not sure how many seconds ticked by before I nodded and allowed him to tug me toward the door. I gave Paige a little finger wave as we sped past her table, my gaze skittering sideways to take in the guy sitting with her. He was even better looking close up.
I lifted an eyebrow at her, wanting to make sure she was really okay before I...I sucked in a breath and then fought to keep from choking on it as the idea of what this beautiful, powerful, sexy man was about to do to me flew threw my brain.
Paige caught onto my panic quickly and just shook her head. She tilted her head toward Nate and jerked her thumb toward the exit, encouraging me to continue on my quest for adventure.
Well, obviously, she was just fine.
I just wish I could say the same for myself.
As we hit the doorway, I dug my heels in, fighting to catch my breath. How had this moved in this direction so quickly? I needed to stop a second, needed to think, needed to....
Nate stopped and turned back to me. He used our joined hands to pull me closer. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. How could I explain this to him? I could feel the panic rising in me as I thought of telling him that I didn’t want to leave with him. Not because I didn’t want him or because my hormones weren’t screaming at me to jump his bones. But because the thought of what was to come—me getting naked in front him, us having sex…I just didn’t want him to be disappointed in me. And considering my lack of experience and the fact that my body didn’t come anywhere close to matching the absolute perfection of his, I couldn’t see how he could be anything but.
“Nothing. It’s just...is this going a little fast?”
He grinned a wicked grin. “Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Once I get you upstairs, I intend to take things nice and slow.”
My mouth went dry and my nipples stood at attention. Holy fuck.
“But, I mean, well, I wasn’t thinking that kind of fast. I meant, fast as in, um, well, we just met and really...”
He quieted me with a kiss, his mouth moving hard and demanding over mine, and I lost the ability to think. My body melted into his as my eyes drifted closed.
When he pulled back, his voice came to me raspy and thick with need. “Tell me you have that with every man you meet.”
My eyes popped open wide. I shook my head. “No, never. Not with anyone.”
He stared down at me, his eyes penetrating, searching, digging deep into me. After a moment, he nodded and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my still tingling bottom lip. “If a kiss feels like that, don’t you want to see what it’ll feel like when we kiss with nothing between us? Or when the weight of my body pushes yours into the mattress? Or when I push inside you for the first time?”
His words cast a spell over me. I allowed my eyes to drift shut again as desire rippled through me, warm and languorous.
Every sense went on high alert. I could feel his warmth seeping into me even with several inches separating us. The tang of his woodsy cologne mixed with the scent of burning candles teased my nose. Fat flakes of snow melted on my cheeks and stuck to my eyelashes, cloaking us in an air of magic.
I pulled in a deep breath and opened my eyes. “Okay.”
“You sure?”
No. “Yes.”
His sexy smile said it all. He tugged me from the enchanted midnight forest of the bar into the glittering holiday wonderland of the lobby. He stopped next to a large fir tree covered in snow and red bows and twinkling white lights. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”
I stood exactly where he left me as he strode toward the front desk. Relief filled me as I realized I wouldn’t have to stand next to him as he rented us a room that we only intended to use for one thing. This wasn’t exactly the type of hotel that rented rooms by the hour.
That thought brought up something else. Should I offer to pay half for the room? Was it bad form to let your one-night stand pick up the tab? My teeth worried my lower lip. How had I made it to the ripe old age of twenty-two without figuring any of this out?
A surge of panic raced through me again. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t.
Without another thought, I turned on a heel and all but ran to the revolving doors. I burst out onto the sidewalk and took deep, gulping breaths of frigid air. The cold stung my lungs and sent goose bumps skittering down my bare arms. But it wasn’t enough to stop me from trying to escape. I couldn’t run too fast on these heels, but I power walked my way down the slushy sidewalk as well as I could manage.
“Emma, stop.” Nate’s voice came from right over my shoulder. His tone was that of a man used to having his commands followed.
I picked up my pace. I couldn’t face him.
His footsteps stayed right at my heels. “Emma, please.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. Even though we’d only just met, I knew this was not a man given to asking for things. Especially in that tone of voice.
I whirled to face him and nearly lost my footing as one heel hit an icy patch on the concrete. He snatched me into his arms, holding me close to keep me from going ass over elbows onto the city street.
Only as his warmth started seeping into me did I notice how cold I’d gotten. I shivered and fought to keep my teeth from chattering. He pulled me closer and moved us over to stand in front of one of the storefronts, out of the line of all the pedestrian traffic.
“Emma, what happened?” He kept his mouth close to my ear. “Why would you run out of there like that?”
I stayed where I was, tucked into his hard body, absorbing his heat, but I raised my eyes to his.
“I-I g-got scared.” I didn’t know if it was cold or fear that made my voice tremble, but I couldn’t control it.
His arms tightened around me. “Scared of me?”
I searched his eyes with mine and shrugged. How could I explain that it wasn’t him so much as myself I was afraid of?
An impatient sound came from him. “Let’s get you back to the hotel.”
I stiffened before he had the chance to get another word out.
He gave me a gentle shake. “I’m not going to attack you, sweetheart. If you don’t want to go up to the room, then we won’t. But I’m not going to allow you stand here and freeze your lovely ass off another minute.” He pulled back and started to tug me toward the hotel. “Let’s get you inside and warmed up. We can talk and if you want to go, we’ll get your coat and a cab.”
I could feel heat hit my cheeks at his chiding words. I was such a dork. He was right. I could have said no or told him I rather get to know him better. But instead I ran outside with no more sense than the toddler he’d stopped earlier. All I could do was nod and follow him back inside.
As soon as we hit the hotel, Nate steered us to the back of the lobby where a fire blazed in a stone fireplace. I held out my hands to the heat and almost sighed in relief. But when Nate wrapped his arms around me from behind, I jumped.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear, resting his cheek against the side of my head, “I just want to get you warm.”
I sighed at my own idiocy. Of course, he had nothing else in mind. Why on earth would he want to pick up where we left off after I acted like a lunatic?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He rocked us back and forth a little bit. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
I let my eyes drift closed, relieved he was being so sweet about my behavio
r. Just for a minute, I allowed myself to melt back into him, absorbing his heat and letting my senses swim at having him around me.
It didn’t take long for me to warm up again, but I hated giving up his body heat, the hard planes of his body at my back.
Oh, God. I was such an idiot. As I breathed him in, it hit me. I could be upstairs right now. Instead of standing in the hotel lobby surrounded by people and with several layers of clothing between us, I could be upstairs, alone and naked and under the sheets with this gorgeous man. This man who called to me on a visceral level in a way I couldn’t explain, even to myself. What had I been thinking?
“I panicked.” I said.
He gave me a squeeze. “It’s okay.”
“No it’s really not.” I turned in his arms. “Everything hit me all at once and I freaked.”
“Everything?” he asked, keeping me in a loose hold, his arms resting around my waist.
I nodded. “I sort of came here tonight to…well…do what we were going to do.”
He froze, his amber eyes turning glacial. “You came here to pick me up in the bar?”
I nodded then stopped and shook my head. “No, well, not exactly. Not you. Someone. It wasn’t specific.”
I stopped my senseless rambling and pulled in a deep breath, gripping his biceps as I tried to figure out the best way to explain. Then I realized the only thing I could do was to tell him the truth.
Before I could give it any more thought, I blurted everything out to him, this gorgeous man who I’d only met an hour ago. I told him about the bet, Paige’s idea, and how she made me pledge to give it a try.
“So you only came here tonight to win a bet?” The beginnings of a smile turned his lips up a little and amusement lightened his eyes. He kept one arm around me while the other reached up to twirl one of my curls around a finger.
Okay, how weird was this? I was the queen of avoiding social interactions. Yet, for some reason, I felt totally comfortable standing in the arms of a complete stranger in the middle of a busy hotel lobby, spilling my guts.
“I wouldn’t say I came to win the bet. More to humor Paige. I didn’t really think anything would happen.”