by Amy Lamont
I sank down against the pillows. All I could do was nod as he dipped into his jacket pocket and came back with a key card. He held it up and then placed it on the desk.
“It’s been…fun,” he said, once again moving his frigid gaze over my form. “Thanks.”
Before I could think of one word in response to his chilly parting words, he opened the door.
A resounding thud echoed in the room as the door closed behind him. I felt like the victim of a drive by. Tears clogged my throat and my heart felt battered. Why would I have thought for even a minute that someone like Nate could be interested in more than a fast fuck with someone like me?
A tear streaked down my face as I fought to control my emotions. If this was what living outside of my head felt like, I’d take Chinese food and flannel pajamas any day.
Chapter 7
“You’re coming with us whether you want to or not,” Jade said.
I sighed. Paige, Jade, and Katelyn had been trying to get me out of the house all week. Hell, I think they would have been happy to see me out of my pajamas. But it seemed to be taking all my energy just to shower and write my columns.
And how ridiculous was that? Since Nate walked out of that hotel room after our night…not even a night. We were only in that room a few hours. But when he walked out the door, he took something with him. Some part of me I couldn’t seem to get back.
How did I explain that to my friends? I mean, they weren’t stupid. They knew something happened. And Paige knew I went from texting her that everything was great to dragging myself through the door of our apartment with my clothes in shambles and tear tracks on my face.
They’d asked, of course. I’d been as vague as possible. The first day they hadn’t let up with the questions. But when I didn’t share more, there seemed to be some tacit agreement between them not to bring it up.
But I had a feeling that was about to change. They seemed to be on a mission to get me to go to brunch with them this morning.
“Fine,” I huffed out. “Let me go change.”
“And shower!” Paige called after me as I headed to my room.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, but then happened to catch a glance at my coffee-stained T-shirt. Maybe Paige was onto something.
I wish I could say the shower made all the difference. But by the time I was showered and dressed in jeans and my favorite blue marl sweater with the sleeves that came down to all but cover my hands, brunch was the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.
“Ready?” Katelyn popped her head around the door and smiled at me.
I tried to conjure up a smile of my own, but I was pretty sure it was a lame attempt. “I guess.”
“Great!” Not chancing me going back to bed, Katelyn came inside and linked her arm through mine, leading me to the front door.
Before I knew what hit me, I found myself seated at a table at a tiny bar down the street from our apartment. Their Sunday brunches were a secret we all swore to take to our graves for fear we’d have to wait on a line around the block if word got out about their brunch specials.
But not even the cannoli-stuffed French toast held my interest today.
“Shit, this is serious. Emma’s barely touched her breakfast,” Paige said through a mouthful of lobster mac and cheese.
I wrinkled my nose at her.
“Yup, time to fess up, Emma. We’ve given you an entire week to stew,” Jade said. “What happened? We thought you’d be lording it over us that you’re the only one close to winning our bet.”
I stabbed my fork into a chunk of French toast and swirled it through a puddle of syrup. I knew this was coming, but in a week I still hadn’t been able to come up with a logical explanation for my feelings.
I shrugged and looked around the table at my friends. “I don’t know what to say. I had the most amazing sex in the history of sex with a total stranger.”
“See, now here’s the problem. You’re frowning when you say that. We expected you to be glowing or gloating or something,” Jade said. “But instead you seem depressed about the whole thing.”
Paige nodded. “And I saw him. You have no reason to be depressed. He was hot.”
“I know.” I dropped my fork to my plate with a clatter and sat back in my chair. “Don’t you think I realize I’m acting like an idiot? I don’t know why I’m so…out of sorts over the whole thing.”
“Maybe a one-night stand isn’t your thing?” Katelyn suggested, her voice soft.
I nodded. “I’m definitely not a one-night stand kind of girl. But honestly, if it was anyone else, I never would have let things go that far. There was just something about him…”
“There was definitely something about him.” Paige grinned. “And I have the pictures to prove it.”
I gasped as she whipped out her phone and scrolled through her photos. She held out the phone for all of us to see.
Katelyn leaned in close for a better look. “Holy hotness,” she said, her voice a reverent whisper.
No joke. I couldn’t pull my eyes from his picture. Nate’s profile faced the camera. The same profile that grabbed my attention when I caught sight of him at the hotel. But the photo didn’t do his strong jaw and firm mouth justice. When I closed my eyes at night, I could still feel that mouth as it moved over my skin, trailing kisses and leaving every inch of me aroused.
And his eyes. His eyes looked dark in the photo, not the fathomless amber with flecks of green I knew them to be.
His body faced the camera more head on so we could easily make out his broad shoulders and lean waist. But my mind’s eye stripped him of his shirt and jacket. I could see him over me, his shoulders blocking out everything but him.
I tore my gaze from Paige’s phone and dropped my head in my hands. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Holy fuck.”
My head popped up when Jade verbalized my thoughts. She snatched the phone from Paige and stared at Nate. She looked up at me. “Do you know who this is?”
“That’s Nate. The guy I hooked up with the other night.”
She shook her head, her silky black hair sliding over her shoulder. “No, sweetie, this is Nathaniel Wilder.”
I shrugged, shaking my head. “Should I know that name?”
“Oh my gosh, I just saw an article about him in the Times,” Katelyn said. “He’s some hotshot media mogul. He owns all kinds of media outlets and interest in artists. The reporter made a big deal about him being super young to have achieved all he has.”
As soon as Katelyn explained, I squeezed my eyes shut. Of course I’d heard of him. Nate, my one-night stand, was Nathaniel Wilder, media mogul and, if I remember correctly, New York City’s most eligible bachelor for two years running.
“Oh my God, that’s why Jared Sloane was at the hotel bar,” Paige said.
Two heads twisted toward Paige. Jade and Katelyn stared at her wide-eyed.
“You saw Jared Sloane?” Jade whispered.
“I did more than see him.” Paige grinned. “He and I had a few drinks together while Emma was cozying up to Nathaniel Wilder.”
I narrowed my eyes at Paige. “Did you know who he was?”
Paige shrugged. “Of course. I’ve loved Sliding Violet since their first song came out.”
“Not the rock guy,” I snapped. “Nate. Did you know who Nate was when we saw him in the bar?”
Paige’s face softened and she shook her head. “No, sweetie. I didn’t. I know the name, but I didn’t realize that’s who you were talking to.”
I slumped back into my seat as relief washed through me. I didn’t know why it mattered, but it would have felt like a betrayal if Paige knew who he was and let me go through with approaching him.
Paige rubbed a hand over my shoulder. “You okay?”
“I guess. I mean, I know I should be.” I sighed and nodded to Nate’s picture on Paige’s phone. “I guess that puts the nail in the coffin, though.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jade dema
nded.
I shrugged. “Just that, I guess I was holding out some hope he might want to get in touch with me.” I threw my friends a sheepish look. “We didn’t exactly exchange lots of personal information, but he saw Brandi’s name on my press pass. It’s not like I’m that hard to find online.”
“It is possible he’s trying to think of a way to get in touch,” Katelyn said.
I pressed my lips together and tried to force a smile for Kate’s loyalty, but I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know I failed miserably. “Thanks, Kate. But now that I know who he really is, I have to face facts. There’s no way billionaire Nathaniel Wilder is trying to find me. He’s so out of my league, it’s not even funny.”
Jade clicked her tongue. “That’s ridiculous. He’d be lucky to have you. I don’t give a shit who he is.”
Of course Jade would say that. Jade grew up in the same world Nate lived in—that of the rich and powerful. If she saw Nate across a crowded room, even knowing exactly who he was, she wouldn’t think twice about going up and starting a conversation with him if she found him attractive.
But I wasn’t Jade. I grew up in a modest house with a middle-class family. I didn’t have Jade’s gorgeous skin or her silky hair or even half her self-confidence. It was a wonder Nathaniel Wilder gave someone like me a second glance in the first place. Thinking I could hold his attention for longer than a night…hell, longer than a few hours…I shook my head. I wouldn’t hope for even another minute that Nate would give me a second thought. He probably wouldn’t even remember my name.
But I couldn’t explain that to my friends. They’d defend me to the death, make excuses as to why I hadn’t heard from Nate yet. But I knew the truth. I was lucky to have the few hours with him I got. And it was time to share with my friends that there was no way Nathaniel Wilder would show up on our doorstep anytime soon.
“He would have found me by now if he wanted to,” I said.
“You can’t be sure,” Paige said and then sank her teeth into her bottom lip.
“I can. He saw my press pass from the Metro Daily. He knows my real name and my pen name.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything?” Jade asked.
“Guys, Nathaniel Wilder owns the company that owns the Metro Daily. If he wanted to find me, he could have done it with a quick phone call.”
My three best friends shared dark looks and I turned my head toward the front door. I had no interest in seeing the pity in their eyes.
I inhaled deeply and worked to get control of my emotions. When I felt like I could deal with the sympathy they were sure to pile on me, I let out the breath I held and turned back to them.
“Let’s look on the bright side. I wanted an adventure and that’s just what I got.” I conjured up the best smile I could manage. “Unless any of you have something to share, I’m in the lead for winning our bet.”
The bet I never wanted to win.
“I’m sorry.” Paige leaned over to give me a quick hug and I could see the sheen of tears in her eyes. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t pushed you to do something wild…”
I squeezed her back. Being rejected by the man of my dreams and dealing with the pity of my friends were enough. I didn’t need to throw Paige’s guilt into the mix.
“It’s not your fault. If anyone else was sitting at that bar, I never would have gone through with it.” And as I said the words to reassure her, the truth of them hit me. “Seriously, Paige, even without the bet I wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him. From the second I laid eyes on him in the lobby…” I shrugged. “There was just some sort of instant attraction.”
Heaviness filled my chest. In my twenty-two years I’d never felt that way before. All my serious boyfriends, all two of them, started as friends first. I’d never believed in love at first sight.
Oh, shit. This was not love. It was lust. I had never experienced the kind of spontaneous spark of…something…I felt with Nate before. That’s the reason I was so out of sorts.
Not love. Definitely just lust. And having never experienced it before, I had little hope of finding it again anytime soon. Not since Nate seemed to have had his fill of me after a whopping three hours. And who could blame him? A man like him, even without the billionaire status, could have his choice of women. Why on earth would he settle for someone like me?
A pain shot through me, somewhere in the vicinity of my chest. I ignored it. Time to move on. Nate obviously had.
Chapter 8
My roommates made it their mission to keep me from hiding my head in the sand. Jade started it. She confiscated everything made of flannel that I owned. In place of my favorite pajama bottoms, I found my dresser drawer filled with slinky nightgowns with strategically placed lace. The least sexy thing I could find were a few sets of satiny shorts with matching camisoles.
Katelyn’s campaign was subtler. She asked me to go out with her every chance she got. And she always made it tough to say no. Like when she asked me to lunch yesterday. Kate worked with children in some horrible situations. So when she told me she needed to get away for a while to vent about one of her kids, how could I say no?
Paige’s schedule made it tough for her to do too much. But she did text me reminders to shower and get dressed every morning, and repeated the text every fifteen minutes until I sent her a picture showing her I’d done as instructed.
I wanted to resent them. But knowing they only did it because they loved me made it hard. Plus, I think all of them felt a little guilty knowing our bet had been the catalyst to everything.
And honestly, I was sick of myself. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, it barely made a ripple in my day. It was a little sad because we’d been together for almost two years, but I couldn’t claim to be heartbroken.
But that was exactly how I felt now. Heartbroken. After three hours with the man.
Tonight, though, I was done. I looked forward to this night all year, so it seemed as good a time as any to shake off the funk I’d been in for the last two weeks. Jade’s parents’ Christmas parties were like something out of an old movie—sophisticated people, tuxes and evening gowns, white-coated waiters passing trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres.
I huffed out a breath, blowing the dark blonde curl that had been left out of my updo off my forehead. I scanned myself in the mirror with a critical eye.
My long red dress conformed to my curves. I had to admit, the dress fit perfectly, clinging to my cleavage and waist. I turned sideways and sucked in my stomach.
“Not bad,” I said out loud as I twisted to get a look at every angle.
“Not bad?” Paige’s voice startled me. “You look hot.”
I smiled at her through the bathroom mirror and took in her elegant form draped in jewel green. “Thanks. You don’t clean up too bad, either.”
Paige did the same twist and turn I’d just executed in front of the full-length mirror before stepping over to stand next to me facing the mirror over the sink. She tipped her head to touch mine. “Damn, we look good.”
I grinned at her and for the first time in days, the knot in my stomach unclenched. After my parents died, Paige’s parents took me in and let me finish out high school with my friends. Between Paige’s crazy med school hours and my moping, she and I hadn’t had too much time together lately. But this moment was a reminder. No matter what else happened, I had this woman who I considered my sister.
As soon as the thought passed through my mind, Katelyn and Jade popped into the doorway behind us. My grin grew even wider, and suddenly all the things they’d been telling me since forever hit me like a bolt from the sky.
These three remarkable women thought I was something special. I turned my eyes to my reflection again and lost my smile. Staring at the four of us, it hit me. I looked like I belonged with them. I didn’t look like the friend they allowed to tag along. I looked like one of them. For too many years it was the chubby teenager I saw every time I looked in the mirror. But that wasn’t
the truth. The truth was I’d left that grief-stricken girl behind a long time ago. The woman staring back at me in the mirror blinked. She looked poised and beautiful and happy to be with friends who were more like family.
My jaw dropped. “Holy shit.”
“What?” Paige asked.
I shook my head slowly and turned to her. “I’m hot.”
“Uh, duh. That’s what I’m saying,” Paige said.
My gaze wandered over each of my friends. They stared at me like I’d just landed from another planet. Well, hell. This wasn’t news to them. It was just me that hadn’t clued in. I was that person they’d been telling me I was.
And that’s why Nate took me up to that hotel room. I wasn’t just convenient and available. I was funny and pretty and interesting. And it showed.
And he saw it across the room just like I’d spotted all of it in him.
So why the fuck did he walk out on me?
“I don’t get it.”
“What, sweetie?” Katelyn tilted her head to one side.
“I don’t get why he left.”
My three best friends shared a look. I wasn’t sure if it was an “oh shit, here we go again” look or something else. And I was too caught up in my own revelation to dig any deeper.
“Maybe he really did leave because of the press pass,” I murmured, more to myself than my friends. Since that night I figured it was an excuse for him to get away.
I looked up to once again find them exchanging glances over my head. “What? I know, I know. I’m sick of myself, too. Let’s just go.”
I turned on my slim high heel and marched out of the bathroom. I could go over and over that night a million times, but I’d never really know what happened. If anything happened other than Nate making a fast exit from a one-night stand. Time to get back to my regularly scheduled life.
White twinkling lights, evergreen boughs, red velvet bows and glowing candles turned Jade’s parents’ oversized home in New Jersey into something from a Christmas card. My memories didn’t do it justice. As the four of us stood outside, bundled up against the frigid December air, we stopped to stare.