by Amy Lamont
The grin dropped from my face when the elevator doors opened on Jared’s floor. I struggled to pull breath into my lungs as my stomach threatened to eject its contents.
Holy crap. I wasn’t this nervous for my medical school interviews.
I squared my shoulders and stepped off the elevator. I could not back down now. The nerves just meant Jared was worth fighting for.
I let myself into his austere apartment. I think I had actually missed it. There weren’t any stamps of personality anywhere, and it didn’t scream home. But it was the place I’d spent some of the best times of my life.
“Paige, what the fuck?”
I jumped, my hand flying to my chest. Turning, I found Jared standing in the doorway leading to his bedroom.
“Jared, you scared me.”
He strode into the living room. “I scared you? I wasn’t exactly expecting company.”
His wardrobe proved his words to be true. He wore a pair of black sweatpants that hung low on his waist. His chest and feet were bare, and his hair stood up in wild spikes, as if he’d just rolled out of bed.
At the thought of Jared in bed, something suddenly occurred to me and my heart leapt into my throat. I twisted my hands together.
“You’re, um, are you…? I mean, are you alone?” I stammered.
Jared’s eyes widened. “Jesus, Paige, of course I am. What do you think, the second you got on the plane the other day, I replaced you?” His lips twisted into a sardonic smile. “Of course, you did. You know how I like to party like a rock star every chance I get. I must have a new woman every other day, right?”
I blinked at his harsh tone. I don’t think I’d ever heard Jared speak to anyone like that. His coldness made me shudder.
“I didn’t think that,” I said, quietly. “I wanted to come see you. I just didn’t think…”
I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, halting my words mid-sentence. I was terrified of saying something else that would make this situation even worse.
After a few long moments of silence, Jared raised an eyebrow. “Not that this visit hasn’t been…edifying…Paige, but is there a purpose for it? Did you forget something here?”
I stared at him as seconds ticked by. Then I jumped on his words. “Yes, I did leave something here.”
Up until now his face had been fairly expressionless, not letting me see anything he might be feeling. But at my words, something flickered in his eyes. Hurt? Anger?
I didn’t give him a chance to express it. I made a run for him, closing the distance between us and flinging my arms around his neck.
His arms went reflexively around my waist and he took a step back to keep us from toppling over. I didn’t give him a chance to gain his footing and push me away. I kissed him for all I was worth.
He stood stiff beneath me as I slanted my lips over his. I traced my tongue along the seam of his lips. He didn’t give me an inch. But I couldn’t help but notice that he also didn’t thrust me away.
I pulled my lips from his and placed a line of kisses up to his ear, nipping his earlobe.
I heard his breath rush out and it was all I could do to keep from grinning at my small triumph.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered in his ear.
A tremor ran through him, and again I fought the urge to do a happy dance. He wasn’t immune to me. He hadn’t shut me out and built a wall up the second he put me on that plane on Thursday.
His hands slid up to my shoulders and he put some space between us. But he didn’t let me go.
“Paige…”
“No, please, let me say what I came here to say and then I promise to listen.”
He nodded.
I rested my hands, palms flat, against his chest and my gaze followed.
Damn. This man had some fine pectoral muscles. I slid my hands down until they hit his abs. Those were nothing to sneeze at either.
“Paige.” This time a note of amusement tinged his voice.
I shook my head and raised my eyes to meet his. “Sorry, sorry. I got distracted for a second.”
He rolled his eyes and something inside me eased a bit. I felt like I could breathe for the first time since he sent me off on Thursday.
“I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry for the asinine things I said to you the other day. One of the things I loved most about spending time with you last week was watching you work. I saw how hard you work, and how much your songs mean to your fans. I think what you do is extremely important. And I’m in awe of how passionate you are about your music.”
His arms tightened a little around my waist, his hands clasping together at the small of my back. “I love it.”
“I know you do. I think that’s why I was such a bitch the other day. I think seeing you and the guys at work, seeing how happy it made you…” I shook my head. “It sort of held up a mirror for me to see everything wrong with my own life.”
An adorable furrow appeared between his eyebrows. “What’s wrong with your life?”
“Aside from the time I spend with you and my friends, pretty much everything.”
He loosened his hold and grabbed one of my hands. Before I knew it, he’d tugged me over to the couch and had me sitting in his lap.
Something lovely and languorous and liquid traveled through me. “You don’t hate me?”
He chuckled a little. “No, baby, I don’t hate you.”
I melted against him, tucking my face into his neck. “I missed you calling me baby.”
His arms squeezed me against him, leaving not an inch of space between us. He pressed a kiss to my temple. “Tell me what’s wrong with your life.”
I smiled against his neck, reveling in his scent and the warmth of his skin. “I don’t want to be a doctor.”
The words came easily this time. I’d said them a bunch more times since I had the revelation on Thursday night, and each time it got a little easier and something inside me felt a little lighter and looser.
When he didn’t say anything, I pulled back to look up at him. He blinked back at me.
“You don’t want to be a doctor?”
“Nope.”
He shook his head. “When did you decide that? Why did you decide that?”
“Thursday night.”
He stiffened. “Because of something I said?”
“No, not even a little bit. But spending time with you this week, seeing how passionate you are about your career…I think I was jealous. It made me really take a look at what was missing for me.”
“What’s missing?”
“Happiness, fulfillment, passion. I realized I kept you to myself because I needed the fantasy of our time together. The last few months, having time with you in our own private little bubble was the only thing that made the rest of my days bearable.”
My words acted like a spark on dry grass. He slid a hand to the back of my head and guided me up as he bent down. Our lips met and that was all she wrote.
He devoured me. His mouth slanted over mine and his tongue demanded entrance. I opened to him, and he delved inside, tasting and teasing.
He shifted me so I straddled him, and I took full advantage of the new position, pressing myself against him and wrapping my arms around his neck.
His hands found the hem of my shirt. As soon as his fingers hit my bare skin, I lost control. I ripped my mouth from his and pushed him away. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it behind me.
He moved his hands to my black lacy bra and in seconds it joined my shirt on the floor.
I yanked his hands up to cup my breast. “Oh, God, Jared. More.”
“I missed you, baby.” He captured my mouth again as his thumbs slid over my nipples. They hardened into tight peaks, and I moaned into his mouth.
I stroked his shoulders, his chest, his hard abdominal muscles. I couldn’t get enough of him. When I reached the waistband of his sweats, I didn’t pause. I slid back on his lap and dipped my fingers inside, quickly grasping his long, hard length.
He groaned and slid his hands down to work at the snap of my jeans. “I need to get these off of you, baby. I need you.”
I didn’t need to be asked twice. I let him go and scooted off his lap, and with no grace or thought about seduction, I stripped my boots, socks, jeans and black panties off. I leaned forward and grasped the waist of his pants and yanked.
Jared obliged by lifting up enough for me to slide them down. I dropped to my knees to pull them from his feet, and found him jutting up proudly.
“I love when you go commando.” I grinned up at him.
“Less talk.” He wiggled a finger at me. “Up here.”
But the sight in front of me was way too much to resist. I licked my lips and then closed my mouth over the tip of his dick.
“Jesus, Paige.”
His hands tangled in my hair as I slid my mouth down the long shaft, loving the taste and texture of him against my tongue.
“Mmm.” I couldn’t get enough of him, and quickly bobbed my head in his lap, sucking and licking him for all I was worth.
His hands slid under my arms and in the space of a second, he’d hauled my mouth from him and brought me back up to straddle him again. He moved his hands to my thighs to adjust me over him, and without any preamble he pulled me down onto him, impaling me with one swift thrust.
“Jared.” His name was torn from me as my head fell back. I’d never felt so full and every nerve ending along the walls of my core quivered around him.
“You’re so wet, baby.” He cupped my hips and forced me up along his shaft and back down again. “Is that all for me?”
I braced my hands on his shoulders and used them and my knees on either side of him to assist him in working my body on his. I lifted up and sat back down. “Always. It’s always for you. Only you.”
I leaned forward and his mouth moved to my breast. He caught my nipple between his teeth and then sucked it into his warm, wet mouth.
“So good, Jared. That feels so good.”
As I moved up and down over him, picking up speed and shifting my hips so he hit me exactly where I most wanted him, he moved to my other breast. His teeth brought me to the line between pleasure and pain, and he thrust up into me, going even deeper.
“I’m going to come,” I cried out.
“Come for me, baby. I want to feel you.” He thrust up harder and faster, and drove me right to the edge.
“Jared.” His name was ripped from my throat on one long moan as I exploded around him, my muscles convulsing as pleasure poured through me and white lights danced behind my eyes.
Jared’s hands tightened on my hips as he moved me over him, his pace quickening. At the last moment, he pulled out of me. His cock thrust between our bodies and spurt after spurt of semen hit my belly and breasts, until with one last shudder, he sank back against the couch cushions.
I collapsed against him, our damp bodies sticking together. I laid my head on his shoulder and nipped the spot where his neck and throat met. He jumped as if startled and I grinned. He let go of my hips and wrapped his arms around me, cocooning me in until I felt safe and sated, content in our private little bubble.
Jared moved his head until his lips were at my ear. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
I laughed. “I think I can forgive you. I don’t have enough energy left to get mad.”
He kissed my temple and left his lips resting there while we sat, getting our breath back and enjoying the intimacy of the moment.
After what could have been minutes or hours, he stirred beneath me. He rubbed his hands up and down my bare back. “So what happens now?”
I shrugged. “With me or with us?”
“I know what happens now with us. I meant with work and school for you.”
Sitting up, I groaned at the stickiness of my skin.
“Hang on.” He shifted quickly, standing and taking me with him.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked to his bedroom and straight through to the bathroom. He deposited me on the vanity.
A whimper escaped me when he brushed against my center and I dropped my head to his shoulder as nerve endings reawakened and little aftershocks trembled through me.
He kissed me, fast and hard and then grabbed a washcloth. He ran it under warm water and proceeded to clean me first, the warm cloth delicious against my over-sensitized folds, and then himself.
He threw the cloth in the sink and picked me up once again. This time our destination was his bed.
I snuggled against him under his midnight colored comforter. “I didn’t think I’d get the chance to get back here again.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to be back.”
I cuddled closer into his chest. “The best moments of the last months were the times I spent right here with you, under this comforter in your ugly apartment.”
He laughed and eased a hand slowly up and down my spine. “So you don’t love the apartment?”
I shrugged. “It’s got no personality.”
“I guess I’ll have to start looking for a place that feels more like home.”
I lifted my head so I could see his face. “Seriously? You’re going to buy a place in New York?”
“Where else would I be? You’re here.”
My heart stuttered and I buried my face in his chest, fighting off tears.
He used a finger under my chin to urge my face up to his.
“Hey, what’s this? I thought you’d be happy I’d be around more.”
“Happy tears,” I said. “Apparently this new me is a big old cry baby.”
He grinned. “Yeah? What else does the new you do?”
I shrugged and planted my chin on his chest so I could hold his gaze. “I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“Are you definitely quitting school and the hospital?”
“I put my two weeks notice in yesterday.” I pressed a kiss against his chest, close to one of his flat nipples. “And tomorrow when school reopens, I’m going to go officially withdraw.”
He cupped a hand around my cheek, skimming over my skin with his thumb. “Are you sure, baby? You’ve really thought about this?”
I loved that there was no judgment in his question, just concern for me.
“I’m positive. It’s weird, but I’ve never been more sure in my life.” I told him a little about the revelations I had during the conversation with my friends the night I got back from Los Angeles.
He pushed my hair back off my face. “Sounds like you know what you want.”
“Well, I know what I don’t want.” A sudden surge of excitement gripped my belly. “I now have another new adventure to look forward to.”
“What’s that?”
“I get to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.”
He grinned and gave me a quick kiss. “Sounds like fun.”
“It really does, doesn’t it?”
He nodded. “I might have a place for you to start looking.”
I looked up at him. “Do tell.”
“I played the song for the rest of the band.”
“The song?”
“The one that you helped me with.”
I grinned, thinking of how much fun it was to help him finish his song. “You did? Did they tell you to take off the goggles and stop taking songwriting advice from some random chick?”
“First off, you’re not some random chick.” He kissed me again, this time longer and more lingering. “You’re my chick.”
A thrill ran through me, both from the kiss and his words.
“I am?”
“How can you even doubt it, Paige? I’ve turned my life upside down since the night I met you so I could spend as much time in New York as possible.”
“You did?”
“I told you our management would rather we were on the West Coast. I fought to record out here.”
“Oh, God, the guys are going to hate me.”
“They don’t.” His lips curled into a smirk and he waggled his eyeb
rows at me. “Don’t forget. They’ve seen you, and I think a few times they may have heard you. I think they get why I’m so obsessed with you.”
“I’m obsessed with you, too,” I whispered.
His lips took mine and his hands started to roam over my body. Desire pooled in my belly and my nipples hardened against his chest.
I tore my mouth from his and gasped for breath. “Wait, wait, wait. What about the place I can start looking for something to do with my life? Not that this isn’t totally a good idea.” I gestured to our bodies pressed together.
“Oh, everyone loved the song. They want to use your lyrics.”
“Really? That’s so awesome! I love writing poetry and lyrics. I used to do it all the time in high school, but then I got busy doing extracurricular stuff that would look good on college applications.”
“Well, we thought they were great. So with your permission, you’ll get listed as one of the songwriters and my manager can handle your contract if you want.”
“What do you mean my contract?”
He shrugged. “Standard to offer a contract. You give us the rights to use your lyrics, and my manager can negotiate your cut if you want.”
“My cut?”
“Your royalties.”
I shook my head. “You guys don’t have to pay me. That was fun.”
He smiled down at me. “I think I’m beginning to understand your problem. You’re stuck on the thought that work has to be a difficult thing that you slog through every day. Baby, I get out of bed every day ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work. I’ve had a whole week go by where I don’t think about sleeping until I can’t keep my eyes open another minute, and I don’t think of eating until my stomach is ready to gnaw its way out. That’s what your work should feel like. You can get paid for it even if you had fun doing it.”
I stared up at him. He’d hit the nail on the head. It had never occurred to me to mix work and fun. In my mind, they’d been two separate things.
“You forget to eat?” I infused as much horror as possible into the question.
He laughed out loud and snatched me to him, burying his face in my hair as his shoulders shook.
I latched onto him and held on tight. For the first time in forever, I saw a future where maybe, just maybe, fun wasn’t something I snatched in between moments of drudgery and sheer exhaustion.