‘But that was destroyed years ago, before we came here.’
‘Yes. I was the only survivor.’
‘Moon’s eye.’ He rubbed a hand over his jaw. ‘I’m sorry. If I’d known...’
‘I didn’t want to be near people, warriors especially.’
He nodded as if that made sense. ‘Those outlaws struck in several places. Half-a-dozen villages on the islands were destroyed before they were hunted down and captured.’
‘They were captured?’ She felt as though her heart had just stopped for a moment.
‘And punished.’ He nodded sombrely. ‘Nothing like that has happened since.’
‘Good.’ She swallowed. ‘I’m glad.’
‘I’m sorry for what happened, but I promise that no one here will ever harm you or let harm come to you again. If you wish to stay and be our healer, we’ll give you a house. You’ll be respected and looked after.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I live alone. Nothing has to change.’
‘I understand if that’s what you wish.’
There was a heavy silence before Knut turned his head, a look of relief crossing his face at the sight of Danr emerging from the hall. ‘So what now for you, Danr Sigurdsson?’
‘Now I need to go to Eireann. I need to tell my brothers what I’ve discovered.’
‘So late in the year? The crossing will be rough.’
‘It’s not so far, but even if it were I’d still have to risk it. Brandt needs to know about Kolga and Thorfinn.’
‘Then I’ll lend you a boat and some of my men will accompany you.’ Knut looked awkwardly between them. ‘I’ll go and make preparations now.’
‘Thank you.’ Danr waited until he’d gone before turning towards her, his brow creased with concern. ‘Are you sure you’re all right after what happened? You weren’t mistreated in any way?’
‘No. I hit my head and I was bound, but I’m not injured.’
His gaze hardened. ‘None of that should have happened. I’m sorry for involving you in all this.’
‘You didn’t. It was my choice to involve myself.’
‘I’m still not happy about it, but I’m grateful. For all of it. And all those things I said before, about not leaving... I shouldn’t have. I overreacted. If you want to live in the forest alone, then that’s your choice, not mine. I’ve no right to tell you how to live or to demand to stay. My only excuse is that I was frightened of losing you.’ He twisted his face to one side, a muscle tightening in his jaw. ‘I’ve never been so frightened in my life, but then I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I never wanted to. I always thought that love led to pain, but now I think I was just waiting for the right woman to come along and find me bleeding to death in the wilderness.’ He gave a half-smile. ‘But I do understand what you meant about safety being important. When I thought Joarr might hurt you... I never want to feel that way again.
‘It’s safer not to love, not to risk being hurt. Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing with women my whole life, but that’s not the way I want to live any more. I want to be with you, to share my life with you, to make the most of every moment together. I’m not saying you can’t manage on your own, just that you don’t have to. I’m saying that I want to help to look after you, too. There must be a few things I’m good for and whatever they are, whatever you want, I’ll do them. Because I love you, Sissa. I’ve never said those words to any other woman in my life, but I mean them. I love everything about you. Your strength, your courage, your wild hair. When I’m with you I feel right, like I’m where I’m supposed to be. If you still want me to go, then I’ll go, but if you let me come back then I swear I’ll be as faithful and loyal as Halvar. I’ll probably still talk too much, but I’ll make up for it in other ways.’ He paused for breath finally. ‘What do you think, could you bear to live with a man who loves you? And cooks?’
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Could she bear all of that? Yes. More than that, she wanted it. It all sounded so perfect, but that made it even more dangerous...
‘Sissa...’ He frowned when she didn’t answer. ‘You told me once that you survived for your mother, because it’s what she would have wanted, but wouldn’t she have wanted you to be happy and loved, too? Just give me a chance. That’s all I ask.’
She tensed as an image of her mother’s face flashed into her mind. After all these years, the emotions it evoked were bittersweet. There was sadness, yes, but there was also love and, in the end, that was the strongest feeling of all. Losing her parents would have been easier if she hadn’t loved them, but then she would have missed one of the greatest feelings in life. Without that love—the memory of it—she wouldn’t have survived. It was the reason she’d survived, but it was Danr who’d brought her back to life again. And if she let him go, then the rest of her life would just be about survival. He was right; that wasn’t the life her mother would have wanted for her.
‘I always did talk too much.’ He inclined his head when she still didn’t answer. ‘Goodbye, Sissa.’
‘Wait.’ She put her hand on his arm as he started to turn away. Despite all of her fears, he was right—and she couldn’t let him go. ‘I overreacted, too. I was scared of caring for you because I was frightened of losing you the way I lost everyone else I cared about, but isn’t that foolish, to send a person away because you’re afraid of losing them? I’d lose you anyway.’
‘It sounds foolish to me.’ His eyes flickered with hope as he took a cautious step back towards her.
‘And I can’t go back to the way I lived before anyway. People know I can talk now. Things can’t ever be the same any more.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’m not.’ She slid her hand down his arm until her fingers met his. ‘I’m glad. I’m glad I found you bleeding in the wilderness, Danr Sigurdsson. I’m glad you wouldn’t let me send you away. I’m glad because...’ She stopped and bit her lip. She still couldn’t say that she loved him, not yet, but she could say the next best thing. ‘Because I want you to come back. Once you’ve fulfilled your oath, I want you to come back and be my mate.’ She smiled as he clasped both of her hands, lifting them to his lips and covering them in kisses.
‘Anything you want. Only marry me first.’
‘What?’
‘Marry me. Be my mate in truth. Tonight, before I leave.’
‘Tonight?’ She gaped at him. ‘But I only just... Why so quickly?’
‘Because I want to prove what I just said to you. I want you to know that I meant every word. I don’t know how long it will take me to fulfil my oath to my brothers, but I want to make another to you. I want you and everyone to know that I’m coming back, even if I have to swim the sea with one arm.’ He clasped her hands tighter. ‘I’ll come back and I won’t ever tell you how to live your life again. We’ll make decisions together.’
‘All right, I’ll marry you.’ She laughed incredulously. ‘Tonight.’
‘Hilda?’ He called out his stepmother’s name though he didn’t take his eyes off Sissa.
‘Well, I’m glad to see you took my advice for once.’ Hilda emerged from the hall to join them.
‘I did...’ he smiled ‘...and excellent advice it was. Now, what would you say to planning a wedding feast tonight?’
‘I’d say don’t be ridiculous. It’ll be dark before long.’
‘But can it be done?’
‘It could.’ Hilda’s jaw dropped as she looked between them. ‘You mean...? Stars, Danr, you never do anything by half.’ She reached for Sissa’s arm, pulling her away. ‘Come on, we’ll go straight to the bathhouse.’
‘What? Why?’ Sissa looked at her in surprise.
‘Because it’s tradition. One of them anyway. We won’t have time for most of the others, but we’ll do our best. We only have a few hours.’
‘No, we have one hour.’
Danr’s voice was firm. ‘If I’m leaving tomorrow, then I want to spend as much time as possible during the rest of today with my wife.’ His gaze fastened on hers. ‘One hour, then we’ll be married.’
* * *
An hour, Danr discovered, could be a long time. A very long time, especially when a man had just declared his love, was leaving imminently and when every moment was precious. Short of storming the bathhouse, however, there wasn’t much he could do about it, especially when Joarr, Knut and half-a-dozen other warriors insisted that he perform his own purifying ritual with a bracing dip in the sea loch. Still, he had to concede it was all worth the sacrifice when he caught his next glimpse of Sissa. She looked breathtaking, dressed in an ankle-length blue gown with a pale yellow over-tunic, held in place by two silver brooches at the shoulders and with a loop of amber beads slung between. Her hair had been combed into submission, too, topped with a silver bridal crown in the shape of intertwining leaves that made her look even more like a forest queen.
The wedding ceremony itself was brief, with a simple exchange of rings, and the celebrations muted at his request. After what had happened in Maerr, weddings themselves had lost their appeal for him and it was hard to celebrate after what they’d just discovered about Kolga and Thorfinn. More than that, he didn’t want Sissa to feel any more uncomfortable than she obviously already did around so many people. The tension in her body had been clear all through the ceremony. When he’d slid the wedding band over her finger, it had felt stiff as wood.
‘I want to go outside.’ Sissa announced finally, leaning sideways across the high bench towards him.
‘Whatever you wish.’ He stood up, draining the last of the mead from the marriage horn before holding out a hand.
‘You’re leaving already?’ Hilda looked up in surprise. ‘Half the hall is still eating.’
‘Ah, but I’m not used to being indoors any more. I need air, Stepmother,’ Danr answered, ignoring Joarr’s pointed grin as he inclined his head towards Knut. ‘My thanks for the feast. We’re honoured by your hospitality.’
‘It’s our honour.’ Knut raised his own drinking horn. ‘You’re both welcome here for as long as you wish.’
‘My thanks.’ Danr put a hand on the small of Sissa’s back, guiding her beyond the doors of the hall, collecting a pair of fur cloaks on the way, then heading on through the village, out of the gates and on to the stony shore beyond. Darkness had already fallen, but the moon was high and the stars were shimmering brightly, lighting a path for them.
‘Is that better?’ He stopped halfway across the beach to face her. Some intuition told him to keep his distance and give her time to recover, though the urge to touch her was hard to resist.
‘Much.’ She looked out towards the sea and exhaled, as if she’d been holding her breath all evening.
‘Thank you, Sissa. I know that wasn’t easy for you.’
‘No. There were so many people...’ She took another deep breath and then leaned towards him, tucking her head beneath his chin. ‘But it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared.’
‘I’m glad.’ He put a tentative hand on her waist. ‘That’s always a good thing for a wedding.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do.’ He bent his head and pressed a kiss into her hair.
‘Will your family mind that you married without their consent? Your brothers might object.’
‘They won’t.’
‘I don’t have any dowry. No riches at all.’
‘Neither do I. In terms of wealth, we both made a bad bargain, but in the ways that really matter...’ he reached up and rubbed his thumbs gently across her cheeks, sliding his fingertips into her hair so that her face was cradled between his hands ‘...I consider myself a very rich man.’
‘A very rich mate,’ she corrected him, closing her eyes as he kissed her, first on the forehead, then on the tip of her nose, then softly and tenderly on her lips.
‘Sissa...’ He broke away after a few moments, pressing his forehead against hers. ‘You know that I still can’t lie with you until...’
‘Until you’ve fulfilled your oath, I know.’
‘Yes, but there are things I could...do for you.’ He hesitated, wondering if he ought to just suggest they go back inside and sleep instead. The last thing he wanted after such a long day was to shock her.
‘What kind of things?’
‘Well, there’s one thing I’ve wanted to do for a long time now, or what feels like a long time anyway, but it’s easier to show you. Come with me?’ He waited until she nodded before slipping a hand into hers and leading her towards the forest.
‘Where are we going?’
‘Not far.’ He stopped when they reached the trees, pulling her into his arms and letting his mouth find hers again. ‘It’s nothing to be afraid of.’
‘I’m not afraid,’ she answered breathlessly between kisses. ‘I trust you.’
‘Good.’ He tipped her backwards, lowering them gently on to a bed of pine needles. ‘And you can tell me to stop whenever you wish.’
‘Danr?’ Her expression was confused as he drew her gown up around her thighs, sliding a hand between her legs. ‘You said you couldn’t...?’
‘I know. I’m not,’ he whispered against her throat, trailing a line of kisses down her body as she sighed and stretched out beneath him. He growled with anticipation, sliding down between her thighs while his fingers played in the curls between her legs. At last his mouth found her most intimate place and touched gently, moving in small circles over her skin. She stiffened at once, though she didn’t object, relaxing after a few moments before starting to move along with him, her whole body arching and bucking and then finally stiffening again as she cried out in the darkness.
Afterwards he gathered her into his arms, holding her tight as she continued to quiver and tremble against him.
‘Sissa?’ He murmured her name after a few moments, smiling as she pressed her face into his neck drowsily.
‘Mmm?’
‘I have a favour to ask.’ He hesitated. After the trust she’d just shown in allowing him to touch her, he felt faintly guilty about what he was about to say. But he still had to say it. ‘It’s important to me.’
‘Is it something I won’t like?’
‘Perhaps. Probably. But it won’t be for long.’
She sighed languorously. ‘If I agree, will you do what you just did again?’
‘If you want.’ He chuckled. ‘All night if you like.’
She tilted her head back. ‘Why doesn’t that break your oath? Isn’t it mating?’
‘Not exactly.’ He rolled on top of her again. ‘Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but you’ve no idea how much I’m torturing myself right now.’
‘All right.’ She smiled lazily and looped her arms around his neck. ‘If you do it again, then I’ll do your favour. What is it?’
‘Stay here. Until I get back from Eireann, stay in the village. Ow!’ He fell backwards as she wrenched her hands away from his neck and shoved him hard in the chest. ‘Wait, hear me out.’
‘No! How could you ask after everything you said before?’
‘I know.’ He made a grab for her waist, pulling her back down into his lap as she tried to get up. ‘That’s why I’m only asking. It’s a request, not a demand.’
‘I’m not comfortable here, you know that! I don’t want to wear fine clothes and eat in a hall and...talk!’ She shoved her fist into his shoulder this time. ‘I want to go home.’
‘It won’t be for long.’
‘You don’t know how long you’ll be gone!’
‘I’ll come back here before I go anywhere with Brandt, I promise. Then we’ll talk again. Please Sissa, I can’t go to Eireann knowing you’re out in the wilderness all by yourself.’
‘I’ve been by myself for three years!’
 
; ‘I know that, too.’ He held tight as she wriggled against him. ‘But I’ll be gone for a week, maybe two, at the most, if the weather stays fair.’
‘And if the snow comes?’
‘Then all the more reason for you to stay here.’
‘I’m ready for winter.’
‘It’s still dangerous on your own.’
‘What about Tove and Halvar? They can’t stay in the village.’
‘No, but Halvar’s just looking for an excuse to go and take his mate with him.’ He brushed his lips against the back of her neck. ‘Maybe it’s time to let them go, Sissa. I won’t ask any more favours. Just stay here until I get back, for my peace of mind. Please.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Thorfinn and Kolga?’ Sandulf was the first to speak after a long and ominous silence.
Danr nodded grimly, looking around at each of his brothers in turn. They were standing in a circle in Alarr’s private chamber, the first time they’d all been in the same room together in two years.
‘You’re certain about this?’ Brandt folded his arms, a deep frown puckering his brow.
‘Yes. Hilda doesn’t want to believe it, but the more I think about it, the more likely it seems. Whoever arranged the attack knew what they were doing. They knew all about us, too. And who stood to gain the most in the long run? Kolga claimed Maerr for Eithr, but who acts as his guardian?’
‘Her husband.’ Rurik pushed a hand through his hair. ‘Kolga was always a miserable, bitter woman, but to kill Ingrid and Gilla so brutally... Maybe Thorfinn compelled her somehow? Or maybe he acted alone? If she had the pendants, then he could easily have taken them.’
‘So what now?’ Alarr’s gaze focused on Brandt. ‘You know we’ll do whatever you ask of us, Brother.’
‘Now I go and confront Thorfinn.’ Brandt’s voice was like thunder, a deep rumble heralding a gathering storm. ‘Rurik’s right. It seems more likely to be him than Kolga herself. I need to go and find out.’
‘You mean we will?’
‘No. This part I do alone.’
‘Brandt...’
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