“Fear fills our hearts to the brim,” Rae says, knowing exactly how he feels.
Killian nods, but he closes his mouth. Taking her hips and pulling her on him, he gazes into her eyes.
Rae ponders the choices the alphas faced during the ancient wars, before they met her. She wishes they never had to feel such a loss to gain such love and adoration. It is such a cruel way to learn.
“I fear you’ll gain the world from this,” Killian admits. “Another kingdom. What will that bring us?”
All Rae wants is a normal life. But she is special. Uniformity is out of the question. “You’re right. If I gain the world, I will lose all the innocence I once had,” Rae says.
Killian kisses her, savoring the taste. “We lost that a long time ago,” he says.
Cradling her in his arms, vowing never to let go, he opens himself up to her. The other alphas do the same.
If she must lead the world, she will lead with love. She will teach the world how to change. It won’t be an alpha’s world. It will be alpha-omega, a knot that holds the omegaverse together.
Keeping that thought in mind, Rae bows her head.
She submits to the vibrant hand of destiny, and gives them all her love.
Chapter Ten
Virgil kneels in the darkness, head bent toward the water. “You have done more evil than all who lived before you. You have made for yourself other gods, idols made of metal. You have aroused my anger and turned your back on me,” he whispers.
Rae yawns and opens her eyes to the dim light of Virgil’s candle. “Virgil? Is that you?”
The old man faces the opposite direction. As soon as her voice echoes throughout the long and hollow cavity, he jumps, startled, revealing the faint outlines of thin tears.
“Oh. You’re awake,” he says, breathing.
Rae rubs her eyes and extends her legs from the rocky recess within the wall. The alphas, still asleep, snore loudly.
“I heard you speaking to yourself. What was it you said?” she asks.
Virgil holds the candle above his head. Rae can’t help but stare at the light around the rough ceiling. For the first time on this journey, Virgil looks concerned.
“I was just reciting my verses,” he says. “I’m still a religious man. Somehow.”
“You mean, you actually believe in their God?” she asks. “Kings have used those words to rape and pillage.”
“They have used them to do worse than that,” he replies.
Rae notices the sweat beading across his forehead, the rushed breathing that extends his ribs, and the bothered glaze that shrouds the pupils of his eyes. He seems to age more each day, and she wonders if he will last much longer after their journey.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I believe,” Virgil says. “Alpha-kind will be shown the truth time and time again, but they’ll always believe the lie.”
“Maybe there is no lie and no truth,” she suggests. “Maybe this is the process we need. To find a middle ground.”
Although Virgil nods, this idea is troubling, even to her. “Then, we will always struggle through the chaos blindly. I hope that is not the case,” he says.
“I have known no other way,” she says.
“Nor have I,” he admits. “Although, I am no different from the tormentors of this world. I have hurt, just like them.”
“Well, you seem different,” Rae says.
“I understand why you compliment me. You are kind to others, but I’m not sure it helps your case” he says.
Kind is not the word she would have chosen. She likes to think of herself as open.
She has killed before. Cassian. If threatened, she could kill again.
“I murdered my first captor,” Rae confesses. “I was proud of this act. It allowed me to feel some semblance of strength, but there has been a long and troublesome path forward.”
Virgil lowers the flame closer to his heart and breathes deeply. “You have done more evil than all who lived before you. You have made for yourself other gods, idols made of metal. You have aroused my anger and turned your back on me,” he says, coughing. “If I fall on the backs of angels, please forgive me.”
Rae hears his words fully now, and trembles.
When she turns, she sees the alphas, wide awake. One by one, they sway from the wall’s cavity, groaning. When they surround her, Virgil stands.
She attempts to push them away. A new urgency has entered her heart. “Listen to me, alphas,” she says. “There is something that I want from you, so please stop.”
Lucas strokes down her arm, twisting his fingers around her knuckles to circle back. “What is it, darling?”
Rae feels phlegm build in her throat, but then she remembers her place. She lifts her chin, acting as a queen might.
“I want to get married,” she says.
The alphas huddle together, caught off guard. “Married?” Vash asks. “What point is there to get married in a world that doesn’t recognize sanctity? No one gets married these days.”
“Even so. It is something I desire,” she says. “I want our love to last forever this time.”
Killian looks at her a long while before nodding. “It’s something I’ve thought about, as well,” he says.
“We don’t have a ring,” Lucas says.
“I don’t need one,” she says.
Virgil holds the melting candle in the air and taps the holder against a boulder. “We have little time,” he warns. “If we don’t get to the end of the tunnel by morning, we might miss our ride.”
“Virgil, you’re a man of faith. We could run a quick ceremony, right?” Rae asks.
Virgil eyes the narrow exit of the tunnel. They still have a long way to go. “We shouldn’t waste our energy,” he says.
Killian stands. “Obey the queen’s orders, Virg,” he says. “We’re here to serve her, and if this is what she wants, she’s going to get it.”
For a moment, Virgil wavers in silence. After a few seconds pass, he agrees. “Fifteen minutes. No more, no less. Do you understand?”
She swings her arms over Virgil’s shoulders, kissing his cheek. “You won’t regret this,” she says.
“I won’t think a thing of it,” he says, offering a weathered smile.
The alphas clump together, muscles glimmering in the low lighting.
“Wait. I need a wedding dress,” Rae says.
“There is no time,” Virgil insists.
But Rae runs into a dark patch, out of the alphas’ sight. Taking her damaged cloak, she tears more of the frayed cotton until it resembles something unique.
As she places the soaked cloth around her shoulders, she wades through the water, slow and gentle.
It’s not the prettiest wedding dress in the world. It’s certainly not an ideal spot to get married. But when she walks into the light, the alphas’ eyes light up brighter than Virgil’s candle.
Their love for her is more apparent than ever before.
Virgil clears his throat. “Life has… Well, life is full of surprises.”
“Too many surprises,” she whispers.
Virgil continues. “A shared life is the very essence of our being,” he says. “Tonight, we gather under the earth, in an underpass to a road we hope will lead us home. We are wet, we are in pain, but we gather together in our belief in love. As fragile as that belief is, it might be our only hope against a broken world.”
As the light from the candle hits Virgil’s hand, he bows. They each stare, four sets of eyes, locked in complete harmony.
The alphas understand her need for marriage. Symbols are all they have.
“Do you alphas take Rae as your wife, for better or for worse, for sickness and in health? Are you willing to stand by her even if it means losing everything you worked toward?” Virgil asks.
The alphas answer in unison. “Yes.”
“We do,” Vash says.
Virgil turns to Rae. Tears fall from her eyes. “And you? Will you stand by your alphas throughout th
is chaos and beyond?”
The once-captive queen wipes her eyes and lets out a relieved cry of joy. “I will. And I do.”
Virgil raises his hands in the air. “She adores your closeness. She will remember every memory you’ve made together. You have been a part of her since the beginning, and if you are ever separated, trust that you will find each other again.”
The alphas kneel before their queen before rising once more, teasing up her body with fresh kisses.
“I’ll never lose you,” Rae says. “We’ll get our children back. We’ll be a family again.”
They kiss, knowing their time is almost up.
Virgil walks toward the exit where the small pool of water bubbles. “We have to swim underneath the rocks,” he says. “It will be quick, but we have to make sure we don’t lose each other underneath. It will be dangerous.”
Rae takes a deep breath in. “I thought you were a man of faith,” she says. “We will be fine.”
Virgil steps forward, but he is shrouded by an icy darkness, his frail body, hunched like a monster.
“My God is a wretched, vile, and depraved being, and he answers to nothing but this planet’s withering tone,” he says.
And then, with enough gumption to shut her up. “You will meet him soon enough.”
Chapter Eleven
This is the way forward. The path back to her children.
So why does it feel so difficult to move?
“From here on out, we must stick together,” Virgil says. “No breaking away.”
But as they walk, Virgil’s candle burns out. Darkness surrounds them.
Without the hope of light, she doesn’t see a path forward. Only the adept can keep the way sorted in the absence of grace, and she starts to feel trapped in her body again, in the same way she used to under Cassian’s rule.
Turning for Killian’s guidance, she holds out her palm. Still too dark to see, she wonders if he’ll take it, and when he does, she feels relief sweep through her lungs.
“It’s okay, Precious,” he says. “We will find the way to our family soon.”
As they round a corner, there is a solemn feeling in the air. Virgil has been quiet.
Too quiet.
The sound of rushing water picks up in speed and velocity. They lower their bodies into the pool. Without another word of fear or expression of doubt, they disappear into the warm sea.
For a long moment, Rae just floats. She never once lets go of Killian’s hands, but the weightlessness of swimming catches her off guard.
She opens her eyes to see strange movements. Tentacles, spiky gills, and black teeth swirl around her. I it her imagination? Possibly. But the images continue to manifest.
Worst of all, she can’t swim.
“Help,” she screams, thrashing against the depths that finally carry her underneath.
The words come out, voice trapped in bubbles. The feeling reminds her of the facilities near Dagon.
She’s drowned before. She can do this.
Rae closes her eyes, holding her breath as one of the alphas brings her forward, out of the water. Nearly choking, she finds herself a cement hallway, struggling to get air in.
Eyes open, she has to block her hand in front of her eyes to see. They are in some kind of underground fortress, heavily lit with electrical lighting.
Virgil collapses to his knees, wheezing as his chest pumps air inside his lungs. “We made it,” he says.
Vash rolls onto his back, soaking wet, and laughing. The giggles carry outward until they are all rolling with hilarity.
“Virgil, you scared me back there,” Rae says. “Call me crazy, but I thought you might turn on us.”
Virgil settles, squeezing the water from his hair. Exhaling, he shakes his head, but before he can respond, Lucas takes Rae by the shoulder.
He turns her, crazed with confusion. “Killian. Where the hell is Killian?” he asks.
Weakened, Rae registers his words. She turns, searching for an answer, staring at Lucas as if he has one. But as soon as he shuts his mouth, she realizes she has no time to think.
She jumps into the water, diving deep into the black abyss, screaming Killian’s name to no avail. Eyes open, she whips her head, unable to find her alpha.
She cannot swim, so she sinks like a stone.
The loss of Killian feels irrevocable. So wrong it seems impossible. The emotions hit her in the center of her stomach, spreading like a virus, emotionless and far-reaching.
In this moment, Rae wishes to give up, but a pair of hands force her to the surface. She cannot die, so she must live. Live without him.
She can hardly breathe through the tears. Coupled with the loss of her children, life seems pointless. Is she destined to lose everyone, one by one?
Vash holds her against him, hugging her to ease the pain.
“I don’t understand. He was right there, holding my hand,” she cries. “Right there…”
Both Vash and Lucas can’t bear to hear her weep, so they dive in after him.
“They will find him,” he says. “They must find him.”
Virgil’s voice shakes with intensity as if the entirety of their lives depends on Killian’s appearance from that bitter lake. He grabs the chain around his neck, closing his eyes, murmuring a tired prayer. Anything to make things right.
But the alphas soon surface with nothing more than the wet on their backs.
Killian is gone. What that means hasn’t even begun to register.
Impossible. Yet, so very real.
Vash takes a few steps before crumpling beside Rae on the concrete platform. He holds back his tears as an alpha soldier is trained to do, but it’s obvious how broken they’ve become.
Lucas stands silent, face morose. Soon, his body quakes with sudden bursts of deep hurt.
“I’m sorry,” Vash says.
She forgot what it feels like to be broken. It hurts, physically. Experience condenses deep within her shoulders, her solar plexus, rising upward until it shatters her heart into one million pieces.
She would give everything have everyone together again. To go back in time, to the first day they met.
Life was horrible, but it was better than living in uncertainty.
Rae wipes her tears, unable to stop her hands from shaking. Still, she can’t allow herself to dwell on the darkness of her thoughts. If she did, she might break down and never leave.
Instead, she marches forward. “I will kill Severin, Ruby, and the rest of their pathetic guards. I will drain their blood and lather it on my body. I will burn their corpses. Whatever it takes to make things right, I will do it.”
She struts through the long hall, noticing a well-lit door at the end. While silently weeping for Killian, she curls her hands into a fist and screams. “We will have a funeral for him, and it will be the biggest funeral the world has ever seen.”
She regrets those words almost instantly because she knows what they really mean. He’s gone. Forever, gone.
Lost in the heat of the moment, she wants what Virgil seems to take for granted, an everlasting faith to keep one moving. Though she tries to place one foot in front of the other, it is beyond difficult.
She kept her heart open to hope, but what did that amount to?
“Alphas, follow me,” she commands.
When she does not hear their footsteps, she slams her fist against the door, screaming with fury. Her muscles ache with grief. “Goddammit, follow me.”
More tears shroud her raspberry lips, falling to the floor as her nerves force her to move.
“For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry,” Virgil whispers.
“Follow me now, or break from me completely,” she mutters, ignoring Virgil’s shallow attempts at realigning the world through prayer. They do nothing to alleviate the present, and she has no patience left.
The one thing she cares about is finding the light at the other end of the tunnel.
Vash break
s their silence. It’s clear he’s in as much pain as her, but the struggle of life is complex, and he appears ready to combat it.
Standing as a soldier might, he clenches his fists. “He isn’t dead,” he says.
Rae’s eyes widen. He is speaking out of hope, not reality. “Why do you talk like a child?” she asks.
Vash’s hands shake, nails drawing blood against his own palm. He carries daggers in his eyes, and he seems ready to scorn the entire world.
“Do not tell me how to behave,” he says. “When I found you, you were hooked up to tubes. You have been locked away most of your life. My pack has lost everything for your freedom. Some respect might be in order.”
“Vash,” Lucas scowls, pulling against the alpha’s shoulder. But the pack leader refuses to listen, and he shoves him away.
Lucas glides across the ground.
“Everybody has vanished before my very eyes,” Vash says, tears now visibly resting against the sides of his eyes. “Everyone.”
Vash grits his teeth and lets out an exhausted cry of pain before letting himself go with sudden weakness.
His body succumbs to the weight of his thoughts, shoulders hunched in defeat. The anger is short lived and pathetic.
“This is the fault of my blood. The sins of my fathers,” Vash continues. “You are right. I am a petulant child. I wasn’t taught to be anything else.”
Rae isn’t afraid of his outburst. She understands it. But they can’t keep arguing like this.
As much as she misses Killian, she knows he would want her to find her children again.
“Are you done?” she asks.
Vash exhales, silent.
“Good,” she says, sternly. “Then, shut the fuck up and act like alphas.”
She is no longer the tiny, innocent dove they found in Cassian’s laboratory. She has changed into something far more complex than her former self. Though she hasn’t held her children close to her body since the traumatic birthing, she is a mother.
She will always be a mother.
“About a week ago, Ruby took me to a forest. I had never seen such a place before. The colors were natural. Alive,” she says. “Ruby shot a bird. It was the first truly innocent creature I witnessed die, and it felt… eternal.”
Broken Angel: The Complete Collection: A Dark Omegaverse Romance Page 28