by Ivy Fox
And I’m not ready for goodbyes.
Not yet.
Not when I can keep them both for a little longer.
It’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, and I pray that one day they will forgive me.
But right now, these brief moments of pure joy and happiness are all I can give them.
They are all I can give myself.
Because soon, whether I’m ready or not, I won’t even have this.
Epilogue
Saint
I watch from the shadow of my balcony as a now fully-dressed Elle pulls herself out of the hot tub, leaving a flustered Chad to wait behind to find his bearings. For the past half hour, I’ve been trapped in my own version of purgatory, watching him use her body until she fell apart in his arms.
All of me is rage—pure, unadulterated fury.
Jealousy glues the sharp edges of my shattered heart back together into a deformed monstrosity of a thing that beats for nothing and no one.
Needing an outlet for my hate, I don’t think. Just act.
Unable to stop myself, I rush out of my room, my wrath leading my feet over to hers. I wait, seated at the edge of her bed, my leg anxiously bouncing up and down. All I see is red, but the minute she enters the room, all I want to do is dive deep into her golden stare and cry at her feet.
“Santiago? What are you doing here?” she stutters, her face still flushed.
I charge toward her, Elle taking a step back until she’s backed herself into a wall.
“Have fun downstairs?” I growl, not concealing my wrath.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Everything about you is my business!” I seethe, gripping her jaw to look her in the eye.
“Saint,” she whispers wistfully, pressing her palms gently on my chest.
The sadness swimming in her amber pools drives a stake through my heart, obliterating it for the second time tonight. I know the words that are going to leave her mouth before she even says them. Unwilling to listen, my lips fall onto hers, her sweet taste mingled with his making me mad with lust and despair.
She lets me kiss her.
Possessively and dominantly.
Desperately.
But when her trembling hands push at my chest to break our kiss, I know it’s the last one I’ll ever have.
Her eyes water as she stares at me.
“I can’t,” she stammers softly.
“What can’t you do?” I ask, the masochist in me needing her to say it.
“This… whatever this is between us. It has to stop. We need to stop. You can’t barge into my room and kiss me whenever you feel like it. You can’t show up when I need you most and be all sweet and charming. And I can’t—”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t want you to do those things either.”
I take a step back as if her words have just slapped me across the face.
“So, it’s done. You want him,” I retort bitterly, fisting my hands to the sides.
“I’ve always wanted him,” she admits dolefully. “You, above everyone else, know how much I have. I love him, Saint.”
“That never stopped you from kissing me before.”
“That’s not fair,” she retorts, hurt.
“Life isn’t fair, Princess.”
This clusterfuck of a situation is a perfect example of how life is fucking unfair.
“Why are you so mad at me?” she asks, taking a step toward me and placing a gentle hand on my cheek.
“I’m more than mad,” I confess, with little steam to back up my claim.
“But why? We’re nothing to each other, remember? You hate me, and I hate you. That’s how it’s always been. Why can’t we just stay that way?”
“Fuck you, Princess!” My voice cracks at the end. “You can lie all you want to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. You don’t hate me.”
“Yes, I do.” She closes her eyelids, unable to lie to my face.
“No, cariño. You don’t. And it’s eating away at you. Just as it’s killing me.”
“That’s not true,” she counters, shaking her head while slamming her little fists on my chest.
“Yes, it is,” I yell, cupping her beautiful face in my hands. “You say you want him, but deep down, you’re scared shitless that you want me just as much. I fucking know you do!”
She places a hand over my mouth, a tear falling onto my hand.
“No,” she hiccups between sobs. “I want him more.”
“Liar,” I croak, stepping away from her before she kills me completely.
“I’m telling you the truth.”
“No, you’re not. He’s blinded you to the truth. Just as he’s blinded me,” I choke out, “But mark my words, Princess. I’ll prove you wrong.”
I press one last desperate kiss on her forehead, leaving her room before she sees what a mess she’s made of me. I lean against her door, hearing her tears flow freely now that I’m gone. I’m desperate to tap into my fury rather than feeling this overwhelming sorrow that her sobs provoke.
My rage was misguided for being directed at Elle when it should have been aimed at Boy Scout all along. He’s the one who’s fucked us up. He’s the one making fools out of us both.
Instead of going to my room to cool off as I know I should, I walk to his bedroom and pound on the door. When Chad opens it, I loom over him, backing him up and slamming the door with my foot behind me.
“So, when are you going to finally grow a pair and make up your mind?”
He turns away from me, but I pull on his elbow, needing him to stay exactly where he is.
“Stop running, Boy Scout. I’m done playing second fiddle.”
To both of you.
“Now is not a good time to talk,” he explains, frustrated.
“Why? Oh, let me guess. Princess left you with blue balls, and now you’ve got to handle business? Did I nail it on the head? Pun intended,” I mock bitterly, staring at the hard bulge in his wet trunks. I eat up the small distance between us and cup his cock in my hand, his eyes instantly falling into slits. “Is that it? You want her so bad you came up here to beat one off?”
He doesn’t say a word but places his hands on my shoulders, leaning into my hold, the expression on his face aching for my touch.
“Does this feel good?” I rasp, in awe of how Boy Scout can flip my fury and sorrow inside out with just one look until all that is left is ravenous lust.
“Yes,” he confesses, his gravelly voice filled with desire.
“Take them off,” I order, taking a page from his handbook, tugging at the waistband of his shorts.
To my shock and delight, he obliges, taking off his wet trunks, leaving himself completely at my mercy. I wrap my hand around his shaft and begin to stroke it. Slowly at first, since that’s the way he likes it, precum instantly wetting my fingers. I pull my hand up to my face and spit at my palm, wrapping it at the base of his cock once more.
“You wanted her tonight, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” he mumbles on a ragged breath.
“How bad did you want her?”
He covers my hand with his, tightening my hold and speeding each thrust.
“That bad, huh?” I mock with a snarl, hating for being as turned on by his desire for her as I am. “What about me? Do you still want me?”
His half-mast eyes find mine before nodding his head.
“How much?”
Again, he tightens his hold on my hand as I jerk him off.
He closes his eyes as I keep strumming away, his erratic breathing matching my own.
Elle might not have fallen for my seduction, but Chad isn’t as strong. Where she is determined, he is still fickle.
“Are you imagining her hand on you?”
“Yes.” He sighs.
“Her mouth on you?”
“Yes.” He grunts, leaning his temple onto my shoulder for suppor
t.
I lick my lips, imagining Elle on her knees sucking him off, making my own cock beg for attention. I pull my sweat pants down just enough to release my aching cock.
“Touch me,” I order.
He doesn’t even think twice, his hand lifting off of mine in favor of grabbing my cock. I’m about to burst from his touch alone, but I still want more. I lean in closer, grabbing his cock to slide next to mine and hold them together. He hisses at the sensation of our combined skin rubbing against each other. His hand never leaves my cock as we jerk each other off.
“Can you feel her?” I grunt, getting lost in my own wicked fantasy. “Can you feel her breath on us?”
“Jesus.” He groans, hardening even further in our combined grip.
I close my eyes, our sweaty temples pressed together, listening to the way our breathing and heartbeats are in sync.
“Those pouty red lips kissing you, begging you to take her.”
“Saint.” He begins to beg, so close to falling off the cliff.
“Who will clean us up? Her? You? Me?”
He doesn’t respond, too wrapped in the fantasy I’ve concocted for him.
“Put her on her knees. I want to watch you fuck her pretty mouth.”
His head snaps back, his eyes wide.
“You look like you don’t like the idea, but your cock disagrees,” I goad, wanting him to suffer even in pleasure. “Or would you prefer the other way around? Is that it, Boy Scout? Do you want to stand back and watch her crawl on all fours to me and swallow me whole?”
We’re both panting now, ready to come undone.
“Fuck, she feels good,” I stammer, just as lost as he is. “Her mouth is so fucking warm.”
He slams a fist to my chest, hating that the image I’ve planted in his head turns him on.
“Kiss me, so I can taste her on your lips,” I plead, having officially lost my goddamn mind.
When his lips crash into mine, and I taste Elle’s sweet essence on his tongue, it’s enough to tip me over the edge. I growl my release, provoking his own, as I try to suck as much of her as I can from him. I’m both in pain and ecstasy from our fevered kiss, unable to stop until my lungs beg for oxygen.
When I break our kiss, instead of seeing green jewels sparkling with love for me, all I see is fear. His face is ashen as he stares behind me.
I turn my head over my shoulder, only to find the same rage, pain, and sorrow I had been running away from, plastered on the face of the girl that holds my heart.
Elle.
Her tear-filled gaze bounces from me to Chad as we stand rooted to the spot, watching her heart bleeding before us. The hurt and murder in her eyes have me wishing that she’d just kill us already and be done with it.
It would be a mercy, rather than having to witness her misery.
Until this very moment, I never understood how deep my feelings went for her.
But now I know.
I’m in love with Elle Grayson.
The one girl, who after tonight, will undoubtedly hate me forever.
“You will pay for this,” she threatens on a broken sob, and I believe her.
More so, I’ll deserve her revenge.
Every bit of it.
To be continued in Fearless
The Privileged of Pembroke High
series continues with the conclusion of Elle’s duet in
Fearless.
But there’s more!
Maya and Reid are also getting their own standalone love story in
Restless.
You won’t want to miss out on these book babies!
One click today!
Thank you so much for reading Ruthless.
If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving an honest review.
It may only take you a minute to write, but reviews get books noticed by other readers.
By writing a small review, you are opening the door for my love stories to be enjoyed by so many others.
I’d also love it if you would check out my website Ivy Fox Author and invite you to join my Facebook group, Ivy’s Sassy Foxes.
Much Love,
Ivy
xoxo
Ivy Fox Novels
The Society
See No Evil
Hear No Evil
Fear No Evil
Speak No Evil
The Privileged of Pembroke High
Heartless
Soulless
Faithless
Ruthless
Fearless
Restless
Rotten Love Duet
Rotten Girl
Rotten Men
Bad Influence Series
Her Secret
Archangels MC
Room for Three
After Hours Series
The King
Co-Write with C.R. Jane
Breathe Me
Breathe You
Acknowledgments
YES! Elle’s first book is finally finished and out in the world! You guys have no idea how happy I am that I finally got to write this story.
I won’t lie—it was a struggle in the beginning. When I ended Faithless, I had every intention of submerging myself in all things Elle, Chad, and Saint. But if you read the acknowledgments in Faithless, then you also know I wasn’t in the right mindset at the time.
I knew Elle’s duet would have a lot of scenes that dealt with grief over the loss of a parent, and as my own home was suffering from that precise sentiment, I had to make the hard decision of stepping away from this duet and work on other projects.
It took me well over a year to even open the folder containing all my notes and rough drafts. Thankfully, once I wrote a few chapters, it all came back to me, as well as that feeling of joy in bringing to life such an extraordinary love story.
Of course, throughout all my trials and tribulations, I could always count on the support of some exceptional people.
To my husband and my kiddo, who always love me, even when on a deadline. Trust me. It’s not always easy.
To my incredible PA, Courtney Dunham, to whom I dedicate this book—thank you for always being in my corner. When I started plotting The Privileged of Pembroke High, I knew that I would try my hand at doing some m/m, and that you, above all, would be thrilled I was taking that leap of faith. I hope you love it.
To my second PA, Ashley Estep—thank you for promoting my book babies when I’m locked in my cave for days on end.
To the beautiful women in my life, friends and author friends alike—thank you for your friendship and support. I treasure each and every one of you.
To my kickass beta readers, Richelle Zirkle, Heather Lunt, Emma Brooks, Jesse Adler Wheeler and proofreader Sarah Purser—thank you for being freaking awesome! I could not have done this without you.
To Jennifer Mirabelli—thank you for all the support you give me. I always look forward to our monthly zoom calls.
A huge thank you goes out to my street team for being the amazing women, always trying their very best at spreading the word about my babies. I so appreciate each and every one of you.
And, of course, the last huge hug goes out to my ride-or-die tribe, my Sassy Foxes—love you guys so hard!!
With lots of love and gratitude,
Ivy
xoxo
About the Author
Lover of books, coffee, and chocolate ice cream!
Ivy lives a blessed life, surrounded by her two most important men—her husband, and son—and also the fictional characters in her head that can’t seem to shut up.
Books and romance are her passion.
A strong believer in happy endings and that love will always prevail in the end.
Both in life and in fiction.