Eros nodded. “Tomorrow, you shall be delivered back to Bromeia.”
A cry of happiness burst from her lips and filled the room. Suddenly, she rushed towards him, but when he backed away, deeper into the shadows, she paused and lowered her hand.
“Thank you so much! You have no need to worry. I will not reveal anything.”
“I know.” Something in his voice made Psyche pause. She wished she could see his face. She guessed the cause of his sorrow. “I will return,” she ventured.
The creature cleared his throat and tried to sound valiant. “I hope so. I can keep you safe here.”
“That is not why I will return.”
There was a breathless pause. Eros searched her face for meaning, but found only warmth and affection.
He couldn’t bear the suspense. “Why then?”
“Because, I believe you will miss me if I go.”
He choked his agreement. He wanted to touch her so much. Already, he felt the tears falling. He was afraid that, if he touched her, she would know him. Then everything would be over. If she were going away forever, it would be more tolerable. But instead, she was filling him with hope, the worst, most tragic feeling of all.
“Yes, I shall very much,” he admitted, ashamed of the raw emotion in his voice.
“And, I shall miss you. Which is why you needn’t worry.”
Before he realized what was happening, her hand was on his face. Eros gasped. He knew he should pull away. He knew it was a risk, his face especially. What if she recognized him?
Still, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Not when this might be the last time he would be with her. Eros searched her eyes for any sign of recognition but saw only sweet concern.
She withdrew her hand and rubbed her fingers with surprise. “Wet?” Soon, her cheeks were wet as well, and she reached out again for him. This time, he grasped her hand with both of his. She was amazed by how warm they were.
“Thank you for all you’ve done for me,” Psyche whispered.
“I’ve done nothing.”
“You’ve saved my life. Even Mercury agreed that Aphrodite was angry with me. And if I hadn’t been brought here, perhaps worse things would have happened.”
The shadow was silent. Perhaps he knew this was true as well. “What I’ve done is nothing compared to what you have done for me.”
“Me? What have I done?”
He squeezed her hand gently. “You’ve made me believe again. Believe in something that I had lost faith in.”
“And what was that?”
“Love.”
Psyche smiled warmly. He knew his words made her happy and he did not regret them. “I shall return,” she promised.
For the first time, he allowed himself to believe her.
“I shall wait.”
That night, Psyche went to bed believing that in the morning, Cordelia would wake her and take her to the field where Zephyr had left her before. Instead, when she woke up, she was in her old bedroom again, the oak outside her window throwing speckled shade over her eyes. The Zephyr must have carried her that night while she was sleeping!
For a moment, Psyche wondered if everything she saw, the palace, the enchanted forest, the invisible servants, and her shadowy but gentle husband, had simply been a dream. She heard a noise outside her door and quickly sat up in anticipation.
Claudia’s sleepy figure appeared at the doorway, rubbing her eyes and blinking at Psyche.
“Who is there? Not you!” Claudia let out a cry and flew out of the room. “Mother! Father! She’s here! She’s here!”
When Cordelia reemerged, her mother was with her, fully dressed. Psyche shifted nervously, not sure what to expect. Would her mother scold her for leaving the palace? Would she tell the villagers and have her sent back to avoid the wrath of the gods?
At last, Hermena approached Psyche, placed two hands on Psyche’s shoulders, and pressed her to her heart, sobbing softly. Just as Psyche was getting used to her mother’s unexpected tenderness, Hermena pushed her youngest daughter away.
“Why did you not send word? We were worried!”
Psyche recognized this scolding woman and smiled affectionately. “I’m sorry mother, but I was not allowed to.”
Her mother suddenly froze and dropped her hands, backing away. “So… you were able to escape?”
“I did not escape, mother. He… let me return. At least, for now.”
Claudia and mother gasped simultaneously.
Psyche was too impatient to deal with them now. “I will explain as much as I can later. Right now, I must see father!”
Psyche scampered past the two gaping women and into her father’s room. She immediately stopped a few paces from the bed, aware of the dim lighting and the air of sickness that surrounded the room. She saw her father lying in the same position as he had been on Mercury’s shield, facing away from the door, looking out the window. Not wanting to shock him, Psyche quietly sat on the bed behind him. When he did not turn, she spoke softly.
“Father?”
Psyche heard him make a noise, then a choked sob, but still he did not turn.
“Dreaming again,” his voice cracked. “Oh, Psyche, were it really you.”
Psyche reached and gently touched her father’s shoulder.
“Oh father, it’s true. I am back.”
When the old man turned, Psyche almost gasped at the face that had replaced her father. How much he had aged! He was thin and worn, his eyes glassy, his hair matted. Tears fell from her eyes as he stared at her with complete disbelief.
“Can it really be? Oh, Psyche, my dearest, dearest girl!”
He hugged her and sobbed like a child, hysterically shaking. The fact that his hardest grip had no firmness, broke her heart.
“I could not forgive myself for letting you go,” he continued. “I should have fought them. I should have died trying. Oh, my darling girl. Will you ever forgive me?”
“Father, please do not torture yourself. You had no choice! None of us did. If I did not go, the gods would have destroyed the whole village.”
“Those wretched, hateful beings!”
Psyche gasped and put a finger to her father’s lips. “You must not say that. You mustn’t. Not now, not when you are so close to…”
The belligerence in her father’s eyes surprised Psyche. “I don’t care! I don’t care anymore. I’d never heard of anything so unjust in my life. To take a young, innocent girl who did nothing wrong, to be tortured by some horrible…” he broke off and began coughing.
“Father, no, no. Please don’t upset yourself. I have been treated well!”
“But the creature! The creature that we had to sacrifice you to…”
“He is not terrible. In fact, he has been quite kind to me. He allowed me to come so that I could tell you myself.”
“Does that mean you’re going back?” Claudia asked, hovering by the door.
“Yes. I am only here for a little bit,” Psyche told both of them. “I wanted to make sure father could see that I was well. And to not torture himself any longer.”
Claudia gave her an uncertain smile. Psyche realized that Claudia was holding a tray and reached out to help. “Is this for father?”
“Yes,” Claudia responded. “And some for you, too. Usually mother feeds him, but she told me to bring it to you instead.”
Psyche took the tray and began to spoon the gruel to her father. She stayed by him most of the day, leaving only to rest or to eat with her sister and mother.
Despite Psyche’s patient ministrations, her father was not improving. He insisted he felt better, but his coughs were getting worse and no one was able to get any sleep the following night. Psyche talked to her father as much as she could without revealing too much, but it was not difficult to keep things from him. There were times when he fell asleep before she could finish her sentence. When he awoke, he would forget that she was not a dream and she would often have to explain to him again that she was real.
Her mother and sister were a bit more difficult to handle. They hovered by the doorway as she talked to her father, waiting for her to reveal more tidbits about her time in the castle. Her mother touched her sleeve one evening and commented on the extremely fine fabric, the texture of which she had never seen before. Hermena asked if the place where Psyche lived was very large.
Psyche gently pulled her sleeve away. “I never want for anything, so you never need worry.”
Psyche told her mother and Claudia that she had been sworn to secrecy and for their safety, she could not reveal where she had been. Eventually, they stopped pushing and began to update her on their little village. Apparently, Bromeia was enjoying a wave of good fortunes that began as soon as Psyche had gone.
“The vineyards had never experienced such bounty!” Claudia exclaimed. “Farmer Marcus was especially fortunate. People from all over say his wine tastes like it was kissed by Dionysus. Mother and I could not afford more than a small barrel.”
“His prices are ridiculous!” Hermena complained.
“And he will not be bargained down!” Claudia declared. “Not even for us, his old friends.”
“No one cares to associate with this house anymore. Not since…” Hermena’s voice trailed off, and she looked back at her needlework.
“Then there’s Lucius,” Claudia continued eagerly. “His horse-trading business is surging. They say he finally has enough to seek out a proper wife.”
Psyche eyed her sister as a telling blush appeared at the base of Claudia’s neck.
“Do you know who the lucky lady might be?” Psyche asked.
Claudia shrugged. “Oh, probably an outsider. He mentioned that a distant uncle had a granddaughter who was of age who supposedly is quite agreeable. No doubt, she brings with her a fortune.”
“Perhaps, we could convince him to renew his favor with Psyche,” her mother suggested.
Psyche gasped. “Impossible! I am already married. And it would infuriate the gods if anyone were to know I am here.”
Hermena shrugged. Claudia looked up at Psyche from across the table. “Do you really mean to go back there? We could move somewhere far away where no one even knows who you are.”
Psyche smiled, surprised by the kind suggestion. “Father suggested the same thing earlier. In fact, I cannot leave his room without him asking again and again. I know it is hopeless. As much as I long to stay, I made a promise to my husband that I would return. I mean to keep this promise.”
“Are you saying that you want to go back?” her mother scrutinized her face so closely the Psyche could scarce meet her gaze.
“I’m saying that I gave him my word.” Psyche replied.
“What does that matter?” Hermena questioned. “You’ve escaped. You are no longer his prisoner. If Lucius isn’t good enough, perhaps you can still marry Prince Lagan of Pella. I’m sure he would still have you. I had never seen a man more besotted in my life.”
“Mother, I do not want to marry the prince or any other. I am already married!”
“Had you simply taken him when you had the chance, none of this would have ever happened! Instead, you tried to run off with that scoundrel Erik. Everything was lost because of you. The entire village thinks we are cursed. Now, your father is on his deathbed and it is all your fault!”
Later that night, as Psyche fed her father his broth, he noticed her sorrow.
“What troubles you, my dear?” he asked with surprising lucidity.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” Psyche hated to trouble him.
“’Nothing’ would not create such a crease on that brow. Tell your father what is wrong so that I can imagine I am of use once more to you, instead of just a helpless babe.”
Needing his advice, Psyche told him of her mother’s words and the sadness it caused her.
“Don’t be upset with your mother,” her father murmured, patting her hand. “She is disappointed that you aren’t staying. She does not know how to express her feelings except with anger.”
Psyche shook her head. “I can’t imagine her caring so much.”
“Of course she does. She just has a funny way of showing it. But you know what’s best for you. I’ve come to realize this. If anything in that palace frightened you, I know you would not stay there. You’ve a good head on your shoulders, my dear. I trust you. But you must learn to trust yourself as well. No matter what happens, don’t listen to your mother or sister. They will try to steer you wrong.”
“Oh father, when have I ever listened to them?”
They both laughed at this and Psyche leaned forward to touch her forehead to his and squeezed his hand.
Later that night, as Psyche entered her old, familiar room, she was overcome with tiredness. The last few days had been so emotionally exhausting that she never noticed how the room had not been touched since she left it. Her clothes were still there, her combs were scattered on her table, exactly as it had been when she left almost several months ago. It was as if her mother suspected she might return.
“Mother wouldn’t let me touch any of it.” Psyche turned to see Claudia at the door.
“Well, I give you permission to have whatever you want.” Psyche offered.
Claudia looked at Psyche suspiciously. “I suppose these are all petty trinkets compared to what your husband gives you.”
Psyche did not answer.
“So, has he bed you yet?”
Psyche gasped. “That is none of your affair.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I know he hasn’t. A woman knows when a maid is still a maid.”
“You are offensive! Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?”
Claudia continued relentlessly. “I bet you he has scales all over his body. And a snake tongue.”
“I know that’s not true.”
Psyche recalled the smoothness of her husband’s face against her palm. She doubted that he was a monster at all. She shivered when she remembered what he said. That she had redeemed his faith in love. Love. She thought she would never feel it again. His face was warm, soft, and moist with tears, like a human. But then, she really hadn’t felt any other part of him. Perhaps he was part man, part something else? Like the satyr? Only she could not imagine him leering at her.
Psyche shook her head, angry with herself for letting Claudia get to her. In the end, did it really matter what he looked like? He made her feel something that she thought she would never feel again. She had only felt like this once before. Psyche thought of Erik. He was like a distant memory to her now. For the first time, she found herself able to think of him without the old pain.
“You’re in love with him!”
Psyche gasped and turned away from her sister. “What?”
“It’s all over your face. Your ever so transparent face. Oh, how pitiful. Only you would be so stupid, Psyche. He’s some hideous monster and you decide you’re in love with him. He’s rich for sure. He left a fortune for us after you’d left, but you could not pay me enough to share a bed with a beast!”
“I don’t think anyone is offering.” The moment it left her mouth, Psyche regretted it. She saw the pain in her sister’s eyes but before she could apologize, Claudia flung back at her.
“You’re nothing but a monster lover! I hope he eats you up and picks his teeth with your bones. I wish you’d never come back here!”
Psyche hardened. “Well, I did not come back for you. I came back to see father.”
“Much good it does for anyone! He is dying and there is nothing anyone can do!” She then burst into tears and Psyche cursed her sharp tongue.
Psyche went to comfort her sister. “We do not know that yet. He might yet pull through.”
“Oh, Psyche, when he is gone, what will we do? Mother says we must leave Bromeia. That we are not welcome here anymore. She says we’ll have no choice.”
Psyche continued to pat her sister gently. “Perhaps it might be best. A fresh start. New faces.”
Claudia pulled a
way, wiping her tears valiantly, all signs of anger gone.
“Perhaps, you can take me with you? If the beast is not as bad as you say, then surely he won’t mind another… friend. I would not be in anyone’s way.”
Psyche was reeling from the suggestion. Not only did she think it was impossible, but the idea was utterly reprehensible to her. Wanting to avoid another fight, Psyche demurred. “We’ll see. It is not the best of lives over there either, Claudia. There are all kinds of dangers.”
“Well, what sort of dangers?”
Psyche hesitated wondering what she could say without telling too much. Just then, her mother called from the hallways.
“I need to speak to you,” her mother said. “Alone.”
“We’ll discuss this later,” Psyche assured Claudia.
Psyche found her mother standing by a mantel looking more grim than usual. Psyche knew that look. It was a searching look that penetrated the most secretive minds. Psyche suddenly wished she had Mercury’s gift of deceit. At least her mother could not read minds, of that she was certain.
Suddenly, Hermena’s face screwed into a warm, maternal smile, one that alarmed Psyche more than her previous frowning scrutiny.
“My dearest daughter,” Hermena reached out her hand. Psyche took it nervously, still stunned. “I’ve only wanted the best for you. You are so innocent. So naive. Remember how that wretched Erik took you for a fool? You lost everything because of him. A comfortable life in a palace, and a prince for a husband. I realize that I was very neglectful towards you over the years, never explaining to you the true ways of men.”
“Mama—”
“No, let me finish. You were your father’s favorite, and I assumed you would learn things on your own, what with all that reading. Not to mention talks with older, worldlier men. But clearly, I failed you. That penniless pauper, Erik, had you wrapped around his finger and now I see that this gruesome, twisted beast is equally fortunate. I assure you, I’m glad to see you are well. That silk you were wearing when you first arrived was of a fineness I have never seen in all my life.” She touched Psyche’s cheek affectionately. “But don’t be fooled with riches and charm. No man worth his salt would ever keep secrets from his wife. If he had nothing to hide, he would have shown himself. And what a man hides is usually his worst, most awful traits. Don’t let yourself be fooled again. I cannot keep you here; it is dangerous as it is. The orders said for you not to return. But I am glad to see you. When you leave, however, it will be as it was.” Hermena looked out the window, not seeing. “The fear will continue to grow, and just because you are well now doesn’t mean you will be well forever. The only way a parent really knows if her child is well is if that child is with them. Someday, if you’re fortunate, you may understand this.” Suddenly, she turned back and looked at Psyche, her face stricken. “For everyone’s peace of mind, especially my own, I want you to take this.”
Scorched Page 12