I glanced down at my gold sequin dress. It was beautiful, but not the most comfortable outfit for a night in, even if it was New Year’s Eve.
“Be right back,” I said before darting up the stairs.
I changed into a pair of leggings and a soft sweater. I also removed all the makeup and washed my face. By the time I was finished, I felt refreshed, more like myself.
I made my way back downstairs, and Brandon slid his phone in his pocket, glancing up at me. His gaze was intense, but when he smiled, it lit up his face. “There’s my Staci.”
My heart gave a little flutter. My Staci. I liked the way it sounded way too much. I reminded myself that I might be his Staci right now, but it was all pretend. And it would only be for a few more weeks. But for now, tonight, I decided to enjoy myself. I decided to embrace our relationship, even if it wasn’t real. Because he was the closest thing to a boyfriend I’d ever had.
Chapter Sixteen
Brandon
I drove across town with my hands on the wheel so I wouldn’t try to do something foolish like hold Staci’s hand. My need to touch her, to comfort her, was consuming. Especially after how miserable she’d been earlier this evening.
To anyone else, she looked ready to party. And she’d been breathtaking in that gold dress that shimmered in the light. But I could see the sadness eating away at her, and it physically pained me. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to take it away. I’d do anything to see her smile again. And that scared me.
It scared me that my happiness was so intertwined with hers. It terrified me that I’d one day do something to put that hurt look on her face. I didn’t like lying to her. I’d even promised her I wouldn’t. But wasn’t I doing just that—lying to Staci and myself about my feelings for her?
I couldn’t tell her, not yet. I couldn’t risk ruining our friendship not to mention the fact that my contract renewal still hung in the air. No, it was better to wait until the Eagles confirmed that my renewal was imminent. And they had yet to approach me on the matter.
The truck was quiet, apart from the music playing over the radio. Usually Staci hummed along, but tonight she was silent. She seemed as lost in her thoughts as I was in mine. All the while, I kept wondering if this was a terrible idea—inviting her to my home, alone. But it was too late.
As I led Staci through the front doors, I tried to see my home through her eyes. It was larger than her Aunt and Uncle’s house, and I wondered if she’d be impressed or intimidated by its size. It had been years since I’d invited anyone over apart from Scott or Tristan, and it made me realize how closed off I’d been to friendships, to life.
“No decorations?” Staci asked, a frown marring her perfect face.
I led her further into the house, before I turned on the fireplace and took a seat on the sofa. She sat next to me, but there was still too much distance between us for my liking.
I shook my head. “Nah. Seems kind of silly to decorate just for me.”
“Oh,” she said softly, but when she looked at me her eyes weren’t filled with pity like I’d expected. Instead, she seemed just…sad.
“Hey,” I cooed, chucking her under the chin. “Let’s do something fun. Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Do you want to watch a movie?” She butted her shoulder against my arm.
I lifted a shoulder. “Sure. Why not?”
She shook her head. “No. I want to know what you want to do. We always do activities that are good for your image. There’s no one here to watch us—I think we should do something you enjoy.”
“Something I enjoy?” My brows pulled together. “Like football?”
She rolled her eyes, though the corner of her mouth lifted. “Besides football.”
“Lifting weights,” I answered.
“That’s practically the same thing as football. So…work.” She turned to face me, tucking one of her legs beneath her.
I chuckled to myself. Her question raised a good point—what was there to my life besides football? And what would my life look like one day when I retired? I had my charitable activities, but even those didn’t seem like enough.
“What do you do for fun? To relax?” she asked, as if I were struggling to understand the concept.
Spend time with you, I thought, but didn’t dare say it aloud. She was expecting an answer, so I said, “I used to enjoy painting.”
“Really?” She hadn’t even attempted to hide her astonishment.
“Yeah, really.” I didn’t know why I was so insulted.
“Why’d you stop?”
I shrugged. “Too painful, I guess.”
Her expression softened, but she said nothing. And she continued to wait for me to speak, never pushing me to answer. She focused her attention on the fire, and I was grateful. I didn’t know if I’d be able to face her and say what I had to say.
“Many years ago, I was in love,” I finally said.
I couldn’t believe I was going to tell her this. She’d opened up to me about her dad, about her lack of dating experience. And I wanted her to know that I trusted her too.
I also knew that if I wanted it to ever have a chance of being something real, she deserved to know the truth. She would probably never look at me the same again, but it couldn’t be avoided.
“Her parents thought we were too young, too unprepared. So, we decided to elope after graduation. We thought it would all work out.”
“But it didn’t,” Staci said, her voice a whisper, barely audible above the crackle of the fire.
I shook my head. “No.”
Staci grabbed my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. It was nice, comforting. And it was even more remarkable since we were alone. We weren’t performing for the press or Arthur; it was just us.
I swallowed hard, warring with my emotions. I felt torn between the tragedy of my past, and my hope for the future.
“The night of graduation, we were headed to a party, and I was driving.” My heart started pumping faster, adrenaline kicking in as my fight-or-flight instinct attempted to take over. “I glanced over at Melissa to answer some question—it was stupid really. And when I turned my attention back to the road there was a deer. I swerved to avoid it and…”
The images that haunted me. The guilt. I placed my hands on my knees, my eyes focused on the rug as my breath came in short, fast pants.
Staci’s leaned closer, and she started rubbing circles on my back. “It’s okay, Brandon. It’s okay,” she said in a calm tone.
“Don’t you see?” I asked, straightening. “It’s not okay. It will never be okay. I looked away from the road for a split second and she died.” My voice cracked. “Melissa died because I was distracted. Negligent.”
“Brandon. Look at me.” Her tone grew more insistent, demanding even.
She crouched before me, placing her hands on my cheeks and forcing me to meet her eyes. “It was an accident. A terrible, tragic accident. But it’s not your fault.”
“How can you say that?” I asked, anger replacing guilt. “I was driving…I killed her.”
Her blue eyes peered into mine, her jaw set. “You did not kill her.”
I dropped my head and closed my eyes, wanting so badly to believe her words. But I knew the truth. It was all my fault.
“Let me ask you something,” she said. “Did the police come to the accident scene?”
“Yes.” My chest rose and fell with my ragged breaths.
“Did they do an investigation?” she asked, and I nodded. “And what was their conclusion?”
I didn’t answer. I knew what she was driving at, but it didn’t matter. I’d read the accident report numerous times, and it still never made me feel any better.
“Did they say it was murder? Or even manslaughter?” she asked, and I shook my head. “What did they say?”
“That it was an accident,” I finally said, meeting her gaze.
“Because it was,” she said, and I began to believe maybe it was true.
&n
bsp; It had been over a decade since the wreck, and in all that time, I hadn’t been able to come to terms with my role in it. Football helped some. Counseling had too. But it wasn’t until I’d heard these words from Staci. Until she’d really spoken to my heart, that I felt a weight lifted from me.
“Do you think Melissa would blame you for what happened?” she finally asked.
Melissa would never blame me for running us off the road. She’d probably be mad at me if she knew I’d spent so much time beating myself up over it. But I’d never thought of it that way.
“No,” I finally said, and the truth of it settled into my bones. I felt a release, a sense of peace like I’d never experienced before.
We stared at each other, the weight of the evening’s revelations somehow making us lighter, despite their heavy nature.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
She smiled, and I sensed a shift between us. I’d shared my darkest secret with her, and she hadn’t run away. In fact, she’d accepted me, embraced me. And that gave me hope that maybe she could love me too.
“You’re welcome,” she said, wetting her lips.
My eyes darted to her mouth, then back to her eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly. Did she know how I felt?
“Actually, there is something I want to do,” I said, feeling emboldened.
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trailing my finger down her cheek and over her lips. They were so perfect, so tempting. I didn’t know how much longer I could resist, despite my promise.
Her breath hitched, and the air between us swirled with promise. “Brandon,” she said, closing her eyes and leaning into my touch.
I swallowed hard, cataloging every detail about her from the freckles on her nose to the flutter of her lashes. “Yes?”
“I thought of another dating lesson,” she said in a breathy voice.
“What’s that?” I asked, trailing my hand down the slender column of her neck and coming to rest on her delicate collarbone. Blood whooshed in my ears, and it took everything in me not to close the remaining distance between us and press my lips to hers.
“Teach me how to kiss.” Her eyes remained closed, and I leaned my forehead against hers. Our breath mingled, my heart clashing against my chest.
I clenched my thigh with my free hand to stop myself.
“Are you asking me to kiss you?” I barely recognized the gruff voice that emerged from me. I needed to hear her answer. I had to know that she wanted this—wanted me—as badly as I wanted her.
She opened her eyes and blinked up at me. “Yes.”
Her answer was music to my ears, and the confirmation I’d needed. I brushed my lips against hers, my movements restrained. I wanted to take this slow; I wanted to savor the moment. I wanted to give her the first kiss she deserved.
But the moment she opened to me, I captured her mouth in a kiss that was more like a dance. I’d experienced moments of profound joy on the field, but I’d never felt quite like this—like I was flying. How could something as simple as a kiss turn my entire world upside down?
My phone rang from the coffee table, but I ignored it and kept kissing her.
“Shouldn’t you get that?” Staci asked, and one look at her pouty lips had me kissing her again.
“Brandon.” She giggled, placing her hands on my chest and pushing me away.
“What?” I shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Whoever it is can wait. I have more important matters to attend to.”
But when my phone rang again, she leaned over and picked it up off the table. She handed it to me, and Scott’s name was flashing across the screen.
“We’re not done,” I said, pressing a finger to her lips as I connected the call. Her blue eyes peered into mine, and I could see the sky, the ocean, and lifetime full of happiness wrapped up in them.
“I should hope not.” She flashed me a wicked grin. “I have a lot to learn.”
I smirked. I disagreed, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Hey,” I said to Scott. “What’s up?”
“Are you okay?”
I frowned. “Of course I am. Why?”
I could feel Staci’s eyes on me, and I stood and walked over to the wall of windows overlooking the pool.
“When you and Staci didn’t show to the party I was worried,” he said, and I could hear music and talking in the background.
“We decided to stay in.”
“Oh.” There was a pause. “Okay. Well Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year,” I said before disconnecting the call.
I grabbed the TV remote before rejoining Staci on the couch where she’d curled up under one of the cashmere blankets. I cocked my head to the side, trying to remember if anyone had ever used them before. I didn’t think so.
She furrowed her brows. “Everything okay?”
I waved a hand through the air. “Scott—my agent—is a worrier. He called to check in since we didn’t show up at the party.”
“It’s not yet midnight,” she said, shifting as if to throw off her blanket. “There’s still time to make an appearance if we need to.”
“Sit,” I said, joining her. “Stay.” I wrapped my arm around her, switching on the TV.
“What am I, a dog?” she teased.
I tickled her side, making her laugh before holding her close to me. I nestled a kiss on her hair, wishing I could make her stay with me. And not just tonight, but for forever.
Chapter Seventeen
Staci
“You’re awfully happy,” Ellie said when I floated into our room well past midnight. I startled, expecting her to be asleep, not still reading with a lamp on.
I smiled, sinking down onto my bed. “I am.”
So, so happy, I thought. Brandon had kissed me, and it had been…the sound of fireworks bursting in my head took me back to the moment his lips connected with mine. Even as amazing as the kiss was, it was more than that. He’d opened up to me, sharing his greatest fears and darkest memories. He’d shown me the loving man he was, not the heartbreaker everyone else believed him to be.
“I take it things are going well with Brandon?” she asked over the top of her book.
I pressed my lips together and nodded, feeling like I might explode if I didn’t tell someone. “He kissed me.”
Her eyes widened, and she placed a bookmark in her book before setting it aside. “He did, did he? How was it? Was it everything you expected?”
I fell back on the bed, grinning ear to ear. “It was…even better. It was amazing. He was so sweet. But man, does he know how to kiss.”
She laughed. “And you know because you have so much experience?”
“No, but…wow.” I felt myself getting hot just thinking about the way his lips felt on mine. The way it felt to have his fingers tangled in my hair. “I have a feeling he’s ruined me. I don’t think I could ever kiss someone else without comparing them to him. And I don’t want to.”
“Oh my,” she said, though I could hear the smile in her voice. “Did he kiss you at midnight? Was this a kiss to ring in the New Year?”
Even though Ellie had once admitted that she wanted love, a relationship, I knew that she and I were different. She was more logical, more practical. Sometimes that was a good thing, but sometimes it was nice to just let yourself fall.
I rolled over and propped myself up on my elbows. “Nope. Just a kiss to kiss me. We weren’t in public or anything.”
She arched one eyebrow. “Interesting.”
“What?”
I hadn’t talked to her much about Brandon since we’d started dating. Fake dating, I corrected myself with an eye roll. I knew she wasn’t a fan of the arrangement, but I also knew she was there for me even if she didn’t approve. Still, I hadn’t wanted to argue with her about it. Especially not when I knew she’d been right—I was finding it increasingly difficult to distinguish between what was real and what wasn’t. I knew my feelings for Brandon were real; I didn’t know if his mirr
ored my own.
“So are you dating him now?” I opened my mouth to answer, but she held up a hand. “Dating for real.”
I frowned, realizing that I didn’t know the answer. I wanted to believe the kiss meant something to him, but we hadn’t really discussed it. Now that I thought about it, I realized that he may have been the one to kiss me, but only after I’d asked him to. And I’d asked him to—teasingly—as part of my dating lessons. Did he—what if he’d only kissed me because he felt obligated?
I let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know. We didn’t really talk about it.”
“Because you were too busy kissing.” She smirked.
I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest. “Maybe. But why do we have to define things?”
“You don’t,” she said, rising from her bed. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I appreciated her concern, but I just wanted to enjoy this moment. I wanted to revel in the fact that I’d had my first kiss.
She plopped down next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “I can tell you like him, and I think you deserve to know where you stand. Especially before you take things any further.”
“Further?” I widened my eyes, assuming that she was referring to our physical relationship. “We’re not going further. We barely just kissed.”
“Staci, he’s a billionaire. He’s a celebrity. He’s used to getting what he wants—whatever he wants,” she said, and I didn’t like the tone or what it implied.
Brandon might be those things, but I knew there was more than met the eye. He’d suffered heartbreaking loss. And he knew—perhaps better than most—that money didn’t guarantee happiness or love.
Love. I swallowed. That’s what I felt for him, wasn’t it?
I’d been so wrong about him. Him and Will. Will was a nice guy. And sure, he loved music. But I’d been so focused on that one quality, that I’d ignored other characteristics that were much more important in a partner.
Even though Brandon was a fake boyfriend, the relationship felt very real to me. He was there for me in all the ways that mattered. He listened. He cared. But he also challenged me.
Catching the Billionaire Page 13