by Sonia Rao
By late evening she was too tired to even join the others for dinner. She went to bed early and dropped off to sleep wondering what the next day would bring.
******
The next morning dawned calmly enough. They attended almost all the presentations and even visited a few firms that were dealing in top-of-the-line furniture. Shivalika was able to watch VK and Misha in action again, negotiating for collaborations and even bagging a couple.
Shivalika was hurrying to one of the design workshops when she bumped into Maurice. She was very glad to see him again and from the way his eyes lighted up on seeing her, she was sure the feeling was mutual. They chatted together for some time and then Maurice asked her the question that had been uppermost in his mind ever since he’d left her with VK.
“Did he finally propose to you?”
“Who?” She was incredulous. She had no idea who or what he was talking about.
She waited with bated breath to hear his response.
“VK, who else!”
She almost choked on the coffee she had just taken a gulp of.
Her eyes searched his to check whether he was joking. He seemed serious and even very curious to know the answer.
“Are you serious?” She couldn’t help her words. This couldn’t be happening to her. Everybody thought VK had a thing for her or else she had a thing for him.
But she was sure they were all wrong about it. She couldn’t believe it was possible.
He was way out of her league and she was not even interested in him. Or, at least that is what she told herself.
Seeing her so confused and flustered, Maurice just shook his head. The path of true love never did run smooth, did it? Giving her a peck on the cheek, he left for his meeting.
Still in a daze, Shivalika walked into the workshop but half her mind was still on Maurice’s words.
******
After lunch, VK beckoned the team to join him. Once they’d assembled, he said, “Meet me here at 5 o’clock. I’d like to review our visit and make sure we’ve not missed anything on our agenda.”
The team had decided to take off after lunch and go back to the hotel.
Rati excused herself to grab a few minutes of window shopping and, if possible, some duty-free shopping before the meeting. The organisers had arranged for a duty-free shop especially for the delegates.
France is one of the most expensive countries in the world but Rati did not want to leave before picking up a bottle of cologne if she could afford it.
Shivalika had already purchased one bottle for each of them: her grandma, her mother, her father, her twin brothers, and two for herself. She was a perfume junkie and though it had cost her almost three month’s salary she had not hesitated. She couldn’t come to the land of perfumes and not buy any. That would be sacrilege and she refused to be any part of it.
Drying her hair in front of the mirror of the dressing table, she almost couldn’t recognize the girl that stared back at her.
The thin slender girl had developed curves and her eyes sparkled with an inner knowledge that was known to her heart but had still not reached her mind.
She bent her head and guided the hot air from the dryer over the back. She had to hurry if she did not want to be late for the meeting.
She combed her hair with her fingers and allowed the hot air from the dryer style her hair in an attractive wave. She planned to leave her hair open which she never ever did, usually. She was feeling a bit bold. Is this what Paris did to people?
She would always have sweet memories of this place, she knew that. They were leaving tomorrow. Though she missed her home, she would be really sad to leave but then sweet memories were made of the special moments you shared with those you love, given an opportunity.
Lost in her rambling thoughts she, at first, did not hear the ring of her mobile phone. When she heard it, she thought it was ringing on television. With a start she realized that the television was off.
And then she recognized the ringtone of her own mobile. Who was calling her on this number? On the insistence of her grandmother, she had bought a local calling card when she reached Paris.
VK had activated international roaming on his phone and his number had already been given to all the families of the team members so they did not really feel the need to buy a card.
By the time she went to pick up her phone, she saw it was disconnected. She did not recognize the number but she recognized it was an Indian number.
She called back but it was engaged. She tried again but the response was the same.
She felt a sense of trepidation and quickly tied up her hair and tidied the room. She would try again before the meeting started.
Just then there was a knock on her door. She wondered why Rati would need to knock. Maybe it was the housekeeping staff.
She walked to open the door at the same time the person pushed the door open at the other end and she bumped into him. It was VK.
“Wha…t” she began sputtering. “I am sorry, am I late? I was just coming for the meeting.”
But VK had a look of such intense pain in his eyes that for a moment she was afraid to even take his phone that he was silently holding out to her. She stared at it and wondered why he was giving it to her. And then she saw the number. Was it the same number that was on her mobile?
Yes, it was, and a strange coldness enveloped her heart when she lifted it to her ear.
“Hello.” Her voice was very quiet.
“Babu, it's me, Gramma.” Her grandmother had called her babu. She only did it in very stressful circumstances.
Shivalika was sure something was terribly wrong and she felt VK’s hand on her shoulder supporting her. She wondered why she would need support?
“I’ve got bad news for you, babu.” Shivalika felt her heart grow even colder and her stomach started rumbling with the levels of tension shooting up.
“What happened...”she began.
“Is VK with you?” her grandma asked.
Shivalika looked at VK with worried eyes and she nodded and then knowing her grandmother couldn’t see, she said, “Yes.”
“But why are you asking? What's the matter?” Without realizing it, she had raised her voice.
Her grandma’s voice was broken and unclear due to the static and her sobbing.
“Babu, your Aie and Baba had an accident. Aie is no more in this world...on the spot...major accident. Baba is seriously injured, he’s in ICU. I spoke to VK, he has said he will leave with you just now from Paris. He said he will take care of you and will bring you home. I am so sorry, babu.”
Shivalika screamed and screamed and screamed and continued to scream till VK gave her a stinging slap on her face. She burst into sobs so heartbreaking that even VK felt tears prickling his eyes. He quickly gathered her in his arms, holding her tight, till she had sobbed herself out. Rati entered the room just then. She looked confused at the scene in front of her. But VK quickly explained the circumstances to Rati.
“Rati, I’ll need you to pack Shivalika’s bags. We’re leaving for Mumbai immediately.” VK was still holding Shivalika in his arms, when Jayesh reached there in response to VK’s message.
“Jayesh, make sure you have visited all the booths and met their owners. Rati, I want you to get in touch with Omex Interiors and give them our proposal. I’ve already made arrangements for your travel to the airport. I’m messaging you both the details. Misha won’t be travelling with you, so you’re on your own but I’m sure you won’t have any problems,” VK said.
Shivalika had quieted down, even though sobs burst out from her on and off. VK gently lowered her into a chair and handed her his handkerchief.
Removing Shivalika’s card from her phone, he handed it to Rati. “Please call your families just now and share this number with them as my phone will not be accessible when I am on the flight. Make sure you share it with Misha too,” he said.
VK held Shivalika’s hand and gently lifted her up to make her stand. Rati
hugged her. Jayesh, totally looking like a fish out of water, shook her hand. Shivalika was totally oblivious to all this, continuing to sob softly. VK shepherded Shivalika to the car that was waiting outside to take them to the airport.
******
VK had used all his contacts to get them tickets for the flight that was going to leave in four hours and would reach the country in 12.
Shivalika had no sense of what was happening and like a zombie she followed VK wherever he led her. He held her hand throughout and did not let her go. She had been sobbing non-stop and she just could not seem to stop.
VK quickly checked them in and hurried her towards the boarding gate. Though most of the seats were taken, he found two that were a little away in a secluded corner so she could tend to her hurt heart in peace. His own heart pained to see her hurting. He wanted to hug her and hold her tight and protect her but he was not sure that would be a good idea seeing what she thought of him.
A gentle buzz stayed in the air as the passengers chatted with each other in soft whispers.
He brought her water and a cup of coffee. They had a long wait in front of them till they boarded the plane and lunch had been a long time ago.
She drank the water and refused the coffee.
He gently prodded and persuaded her to have the coffee too. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her, holding her tight. Shivalika was surprised that she did not feel at all awkward with him. She felt protected and was shocked to realise it felt so right to rest her head on his shoulders.
She began talking and then it was like a torrent as she poured out her heart and the pain she had been bearing since she was a teenager. And when she cried, silently, she felt him wiping her tears and this made her cry even more to see his gentle side which he always tried to keep hidden at work.
She told him about that incident that had shaped her whole life. “Mom and Dad always fought ever since I can remember. Rather, it was Mom who used to start the fights and Dad, being so kind and gentle, used to listen quietly.
One day, I must have been fourteen at that time, I came home earlier from school as I was not feeling too well. I knew Grandma would be out on her voluntary service. My mother suffered from migraine so she often had to go to the clinic for treatment. I always kept one of the house keys with me in case no-one was home when I returned from school.”
Sobbing softly, she held VK’s handkerchief to her nose to stop it from running. By sharing her innermost secret, a secret that only her friend Aloka was aware of, she was treading dangerous territory.
VK was quiet as he listened, holding her in his warm embrace, his chin resting on her hair.
“I took meds from our family doctor whose clinic was across the road. I hoped I’d be alone at home so I could take the meds and go off to sleep. I opened the front door and entered the house. I heard rustling sounds and whispers from the kitchen, which meant Mom was at home. But as I reached near the door of the kitchen I heard both male and female and I thought, “Oh, both Mom and Dad are at home” and I happily entered the kitchen.
“It was my mother but she was not with my dad. The other person was the young neighbor who used to come very often to our house, sometimes for a cup of sugar and other times for some starter for yoghurt. He had come from some other city and was staying as a paying guest in our neighbour’s house.”
A sob escaped from Shivalika’s throat. Twisting the handkerchief in her hands, she continued speaking. “I didn’t know what they were doing but it looked like they were embracing. He was holding my mom very tightly. It looked and felt very wrong. How could my mother do such a thing to my father?
My mother looked shocked when she saw me. I just turned and ran away from there. I could hear her calling after me, but I just could not go back. I went to my friend’s house. She was not at home but I made some excuse to her mother and sat there till my grandmother came home. From that day I have never spoken to my mother unless it has been very important or unavoidable.
I never saw the neighbour again. Mom tried to approach me but I completely avoided her. I lost all faith in love and marriage. That day I decided I would never fall in love or get married. But recently I tried to understand her from a woman’s perspective and realised I might have wronged her.”
Now the tears began to flow faster. Shivalika wiped her eyes but they would not stop.
“I told myself that when I got back from this trip I was going to make amends with her. But now it’s too late. I will never be able to tell Mom that I am sorry.”
She looked so desolate that VK gathered her in his arms and held her tight. She buried her head in his shoulder and he soothed her till the sobs died down. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t need to. He had been witness to the whole process of catharsis she was going through and he had seen her healing in front of his own eyes. She still had a long way to go to accept her loss but she had at least taken the first step towards it.
He looked down at her and at that same moment Shivalika looked up and her lips brushed his. And as helplessly as a magnet is drawn to iron he was drawn to her and he pressed his own lips gently against hers.
Her startled lips offered no resistance. Her lovely, delicate, rosebud mouth opened inviting him in and as he tasted her sweetness, a groan escaped him.
He felt her hands tighten on his jacket. Her hands slowly travelled up and laced around his neck. Shivalika held him close and he tightened his arms around her. They explored each other, their breaths mingling and then coming together in short spurts of harmony. Shivalika’s heart beat a rhythm so deafening that she felt dizzy. But VK’s lips on hers felt so right. It was like she’d come home.
They clung to each other. The kiss deepened and they pressed closer to each other. They fit so right with each other that they didn’t want the moment to end. But at that very instant, the announcement for boarding the flight was announced and they separated with a start.
VK pushed his hand through his hair. He had kissed Shivalika when she was in a most vulnerable frame of mind. It was totally wrong of him to have done that.
Without saying a word, they started moving towards the long queue. He kept his hands around her till they were settled inside the plane. She shut her eyes and slept. Sometime during the night, when her head came to rest on his shoulders, he kissed the top of her head. Some hours later he woke her up and forced her to have some food else she would be sick when she reached home.
He did not let go of her till he had deposited her in her grandmother’s hands. He had promised her grandmother he would bring her home safely and he had. Shivalika had spent herself and all her tears in front of VK and now she was able to be a comfort to her grandmother who broke down on seeing her.
When her grandmother quieted down, Shivalika went to look for her brothers. They were sitting in their bedroom talking to a young girl. She didn’t look much older than Shivalika who wondered whether it was their teacher who had come to offer condolences. But before she could say anything, the girl saw Shivalika and came quickly towards her and hugged her saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Shivalika.”
Shivalika was confused and looked at her brothers for clarity. They just shrugged and ran away to the other room. They were still too young to understand the enormity of their loss. Shivalika looked at the girl who looked familiar but she still could not place her.
Just then VK came to the room and the girl ran to him and hugged him. VK hugged her back and kissed her on her forehead. He then turned to Shivalika and said, “This is my younger sister Nandini. I asked her to come here to help your grandmother till we arrived.”
Ah, that was the reason the girl looked so familiar. She had the same shape of eyes as VK’s, but hers were brown and not grey.
It suddenly struck her that VK was being such a pillar of strength. His sister was looking at him with adoring eyes. He was definitely her hero. And deep within her heart, Shivalika knew it was the same with her. The path ahead was going to be really difficult but sh
e knew that there was no going back now.
CHAPTER 14
Shivalika had taken to moping about all day, feeling guilty about her mom, when she was not helping her dad with his physiotherapy or helping her kid brothers with their homework which was more an attempt to help them get over the loss of their mother.
Another highlight of the day was the call she received from either Rati or Jayesh every day of the working week promptly at 11am. She could set her watch by it.
“Just one more hand flex, Baba,” Shivalika said. She was glad to see him recuperating well. He was back home after two weeks in the hospital. Though Shivalika helped in the mornings, the physiotherapist came in the evening for one more session.
After the exercises were done, Shivalika plumped the pillow at the back of the chair he would sit on and led him to it. He would be here till lunch time, reading and writing.
Just then her mobile rang. She looked at her watch. 11am.
She kissed her dad on his cheek and went to her room to take the call.
Shivalika had been a bit miffed at VK. He had not called her even once after the funeral though he’d asked her to take a month’s break before leaving. After that, nothing.
She could not get their kiss out of her mind. No doubt, she might be an innocent or even gauche as Misha had apparently described her, but even then she had sensed that VK was as equally involved in the kiss. He had wanted it as much as she did. She wondered what would have happened if the announcement for boarding the plane had not happened.
The continuous ringing of the mobile interrupted her thoughts.
Today, it was Rati on the phone.
As always, she began by asking Shivalika about some office-related work and then steered the conversation to her and her home conditions.
By now, both Rati and Jayesh were already aware of all the details of her daily routine. They also asked her again and again if she needed anything.