“Well—us.” I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. “Where this is going—what Hudson said. Maybe I don’t have to leave after all.”
“What do you mean?” Preston narrowed his eyes at me and the expression on his face immediately twisted into a look of concern. “You know he doesn’t really love you, right?”
“I—are you sure?” I blinked in surprise.
“No. If you want to fuck, we can do that, but that’s all this is—that’s all it’s ever been.” There was a coldness to Preston that had never been directed at me, and his tone was rather harsh.
“But…” My words trailed off for a second. “Hudson said…”
“Hudson was confused.” Preston folded his arms across his chest. “He just got caught up in the heat of the moment.”
“He said that?” I felt my legs trembling as I processed Preston’s words—they cut into me like a knife.
“Yes.” Preston nodded quickly. “You can go ask him yourself if you want.”
“He—really said he was just confused?” I felt my lip quivering.
“Yes. We love fucking you—but that’s all we love.” Preston’s eyes narrowed further, and his nose twitched. “Did you really think two guys that shared you were going to decide you had a magic pussy and want to turn that into a relationship?”
“No…” I looked down at the floor. “I guess not.”
This was a huge fucking mistake. I should have never come here.
“Go to California, fuck every guy you meet. I don’t give a damn what you do. If you ever come back to Andalusia, I’ll bend you over a table for a quick fuck, but that’s all I’ll want from you. If you’re not going to take off your panties, then this conversation is over.” Preston motioned towards the door. “Either take off your clothes or hit the road.”
I couldn’t even respond. Preston was so cruel—so cold. That wasn’t the guy I had spent my summer with. It couldn’t be. I was a fucking fool. My knees were shaking, and my legs were about to give out. I should have left things where were—and let Hudson’s moment of weakness be my last memory of the Anderson brothers. Instead, something that had meant so much turned into a nightmare before my eyes. The breath was sucked out of my lungs. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I grabbed the pieces in my hands as I ran towards the door. I made it to my car, catching myself before the spinning in my head made me fall to the ground. I looked over my shoulder at the house that held so many memories—memories that were good ones before Preston soured them. The door opened, and Hudson walked outside. He stared at me for a moment, but I wasn’t brave enough to let him destroy me too. Preston said all there was to say.
This fucking town. I’ll never come back. I’ll never let myself believe in a fantasy again—now I know that there’s more cruelty in the world than I ever imagined.
9
Preston
Present day
“We’ve got another call.” I ran towards the locker room and motioned to Hudson. “It’s a real fire this time—there are people inside.”
“Shit, really?” He ran up beside me. “Where is it?”
“It’s the Bed & Breakfast downtown. The fire started in the kitchen and there are a few quests trapped upstairs.” I ran towards the truck with my hat in my hand.
There were no arguments about who was driving, or what we would do when we got to the location of the fire. We were trained to save lives, even if we didn’t get an opportunity to do it very often. It wasn’t going to be the two of us responding, it was all hands on deck. I hopped into the passenger seat, Hudson hopped in the driver’s seat, and the other five firefighters on duty climbed up on the truck. When we got to the scene of the fire, it was chaos. The workers at the Bed & Breakfast ran up to our truck and started screaming about the people trapped inside. I put on my mask and started towards the Bed & Breakfast with Hudson behind me. The smoke was thick already and the fire was at the base of the stairs. The Bed & Breakfast was old, and the wood might as well have been kindling for the inferno.
“I’ll go upstairs.” I motioned toward the fire.
“No!” Hudson grabbed my arm. “We need to get the fire put out before we try—it’s too dangerous.”
“I’ll be okay.” I pulled away from him and charged towards the stairs.
There was solace in danger. I didn’t have a death wish, but I would give my life for someone else if that was what it took. The people that loved them didn’t deserve to lose the ones they cared about. I felt the heat scorching my skin when I got to the bottom of the stairs, but I pushed through it. My coat wasn’t going to burst into flames, but there was only so much it could do when I was literally wading through fire. The window next to me shattered and water started to cover the stairs as I walked. At least I didn’t have to worry about the fire spreading while I was upstairs. The smoke cleared out some as I got to the top floor, but I could hear screaming. It sounded like a child, which made my stomach clench. The fire hadn’t reached the top floor, but that didn’t mean someone didn’t get hurt stumbling around in the smoke.
Fucking hell. Where are they?
Between the roar of the blaze below me and the helmet, I couldn’t pinpoint the exact location of the sound. I started running to the doors, driving the point of my ax into the wood, and checking to see if anyone was inside. I finally found the room I was looking for and saw a woman lying on the floor with a little girl kneeling beside her. The little girl was screaming for her mother to wake up, and I saw burn marks on the woman’s arms. She had tried to get through the fire and gotten hurt in the process. She also had a wound on her head, which suggested she had fallen. I scooped her up and grabbed the kid. I don’t think the little girl understood what was going on because she started kicking and screaming, but I didn’t have time to explain. I ran back to the stairs and saw that the fire hadn’t spread thanks to the water, but it was worse at the bottom of the stairs. I couldn’t run through the flames with both of them in my arms.
“Preston!” I heard Hudson’s voice and looked down to see him on the edge of the stairs. “Lower her down!”
“Right.” I nodded quickly and shifted my weight.
Dropping someone over the railing was a risk, especially if she had a head injury, but I didn’t have a choice. I also couldn’t do it safely with the little girl going berserk in my arms. I tried to calm her down, but once she saw that I was trying to sling her over the railing of the staircase, she started to freak out even more. Hudson motioned for me to drop her, and before I had a chance, the railing crumbled. I nearly lost my footing entirely, balancing on the balls of my feet as I contemplated life and death in an instant. I had to drop the girl. Hudson had to catch her. There was no other alternative. I released my grip and she clawed at my arm as she fell. I was afraid to even look down but let out a sigh of relief when I saw her land safely in Hudson’s arms. He bolted towards the door and one of the other firefighters we worked with motioned for me to lower the woman. She was unconscious so it was a lot easier to hold her by the wrists and release her safely into his waiting arms—it was the best I could do under the circumstances.
Now how the fuck am I going to get out of this mess?
The water wasn’t doing enough to slow down the blaze, and I saw that they had even brought out the reserve hose to hook it up to the fire hydrant nearby. The house might as well have been a matchbox. I looked out the window next to me and saw that I was definitely too far up to jump. The lower part of the house was elevated, so while I could get the woman to safety, I couldn’t exactly jump. My knee was far too fucked up to survive a fall like that without shattered the reconstructive work I had done. If forced to choose between my life and my knee, I’d definitely choose my life, but it wasn’t a choice I was going to make easily. Suddenly, I heard something outside—it was a loud noise—an engine roaring. A few seconds later there was an explosion and the wall at the bottom of the stairs was torn open as a car smashed into it. I looked down and saw Hudson in the driver’s
seat.
Oh my god, he’s a fucking lunatic—but he’s a genius.
I was able to make the jump from where I was to the hood of the car without much trouble and then crawl over the top. Hudson couldn’t get the door open, so I smashed the back window of the car with my ax and helped him crawl through it. We dropped safely to the ground and headed back to the fire truck. The other firefighters were stunned as we approached. Obviously, they had never seen a man drive a car through a Bed & Breakfast to save his brother. It wasn’t the first time Hudson had saved my life, although the first time hadn’t been quite as theatrical. I ripped off my helmet and mask, tossing both of them on the ground at my feet. I could practically taste the air on my tongue and the sky looked like a brighter shade of blue than I remembered.
“Thank you.” I walked over and gave Hudson a hug.
“No problem, bro.” He embraced me quickly. “You didn’t think I was going to let you die in there did you?”
“The owner of that car may not be very pleased with your methods.” I looked over at the car that was jutting out of the side of the Bed & Breakfast.
“Let the mayor pay for it.” Hudson shrugged and looked towards the building that was still burning. “If we had better equipment, we could have gotten you out of there a lot easier.”
“That’s probably true.” I nodded.
And just like before—my brother saved me when I needed him most. I don’t even fucking deserve him. Especially after what I did to him all those years ago.
* * *
Three years ago
“Give me another one, Sam.” I motioned to the bartender in front of me.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough, Preston?” He walked over and put his hands on the counter.
“I’m fine. If I’m not drinking here, I’ll just be drinking at home.” I pointed towards the bottle behind him. “At least here I know the people who talk to me aren’t just in my head.”
“You need help.” Sam shook his head back and forth, but he reached for the bottle.
“Yeah, maybe so.” I shrugged and waited for him to finish pouring the glass of whiskey. “Some people aren’t worthy of redemption though.”
Least of all me.
Taking that shot to the knee on the field in Bryant-Denny Stadium was the end of everything for me. My football career. My future. Everything I cared about. I returned to Andalusia as a broken man, but I wasn’t the only lost soul wandering those small town streets. My brother was shattered—he was a shell of the man he should have become. He became a firefighter, just like he planned, but there was no life left in his eyes. The worst part of all? I was the one that snuffed it out. I was the one that betrayed him. I stole his one chance at happiness because I was nothing more than a selfish fuck afraid of my own feelings. I thought I had the world at my feet, but I couldn’t even stand on them—not without feeling the pain that was a constant reminder of what I chose over what I could have been.
“Okay, you’re cut off.” Sam took my glass. “You can’t even hold your fucking head up anymore.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I grimaced as I put weight on my knee and started to stumble towards the door.
I lied to Hudson when he asked me why Eliza stopped by. I told him that she came to say goodbye and didn’t reciprocate any of the feelings he had for her. He watched her drive away, believing that she was the one who chose to leave instead of knowing the truth—I drove her away. I crushed her with my cruel words, even when saying them made me sick. The reality—the harsh reality that I refused to admit to myself, was that I was in love with Eliza too. The two months we spent together changed who I was, and that scared me. I had my future in front of me—I couldn’t let feelings get in the way of that. If I had an ounce of my brother’s bravery, I would have fought to make her stay—I would have told her how I really felt. I wouldn’t have broken her heart and ruined everything that meant so much. I walked back to my father’s house after leaving the bar—technically it was my house. My father had moved out and so had Hudson. They let me wallow in my misery, which is all I really deserved.
“What are you doing here?” I looked up as I approached the steps and saw Hudson sitting at the top of them.
“I’m worried about you man.” Hudson stood to his feet. “Sam called me.”
“Sam’s a fucking idiot. He should appreciate having a paying customer.” I started walking up the steps without even looking at Hudson.
“Don’t shut me out.” Hudson reached over and grabbed my arm as I passed. “You’re better than this.”
“Am I?” I pulled away and shoved my key into the lock. “I lost everything. This is who I am now.”
“So fucking what?” Hudson followed me into the house. “Yeah, maybe you would have made it to the NFL—maybe not. Maybe you would have still ended up right here in Andalusia, living with a bunch of fucking regrets.”
“Regrets?” I turned towards him. “Are we talking about me or you?”
“Don’t…” Hudson shook his head back and forth. “Don’t make this about her. I deal with it every fucking day. I get up, go to work, come home, and I don’t try to kill myself in the process!”
I’m too fucking drunk for this.
“You want a little harsh dose of reality, brother?” I walked up to him and pushed his shoulder. “She loved you—she wanted to stay here in Andalusia with the both of us.”
“What?” Hudson’s face twisted into one of confusion. “But you said…”
“I lied!” I was practically screaming as the words came out of my throat like a pent-up rage that had to be released. “I’m the one who pushed her away. I told her that she was nothing more than a cheap fuck when she just wanted to be loved.”
“You…” Hudson took a step back. “You son of a bitch. Why?”
“Because I loved her too.” I dropped my head and sighed. “And that scared me more than anything else in the world.”
“You fucking asshole.” Hudson’s words were flat—but they were as cold as ice.
“Hit me.” I reached out and pushed him. “Do your fucking worst, because that’s the kind of man I am. I’m the world’s punching bag—I just choose to punch myself so nobody else has to.”
“No.” Hudson started to shake, and his fists balled, but he didn’t swing. “You aren’t worth it.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying all along.” I walked into the kitchen and grabbed another bottle of liquor.
Hudson should have left me to die in that house. He should have never spoken to me again. It was several weeks before he returned, but he forgave me for my betrayal. In that forgiveness, I found a semblance of my humanity. My brother was a lot bigger man that I could ever hope to be. I don’t know what I would have done if the roles were reversed, but I don’t think I would have ever forgiven him. I would have probably swung—beat him until he was a pool of blood on the floor. That’s what I wanted him to do to me. That’s what I deserved.
He helped me get into the fire academy, become a firefighter, and in time, we were like brothers again. I harbored a lot of guilt. It was impossible not to feel that way. I told him he should try to find Eliza—to see if she felt the same way—but it had been two years since she left. I think he was afraid of finding out that she had moved on. The memories gave him something to cling to, even if he would never hold the woman he loved again. Two months of our lives that were supposed to be spent saying goodbye to high school and celebrating the start of our lives. We spent them falling in love when that was the last thing we should have been doing. Then I ruined that for both of us—and I drove her out of our lives forever.
10
Eliza
“Um, Eliza?” Melanie gently knocked on my door. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah.” I stood and walked over to let her in. “What’s up?”
“Preston Anderson is downstairs.” She raised her eyebrows and motioned towards the stairs. “He says he wants to talk to you.”
“What?” I blin
ked in surprise. “No, tell him that I don’t want to talk to him—at all.”
“Why?” I could see the bewilderment on her face. “I guess I should be asking why he’s here in the first place, but why does he want to talk to you?”
“Go ask him yourself.” I started to push the door closed. “But please get rid of him.”
“Okay…” Melanie shrugged and started walking back towards the stairs.
I really didn’t care what Preston had to say to me. I didn’t even care if he had come to apologize. There was no apology that would erase the truth—no words that could remove the scars. I certainly didn’t need his pity. I fell in love with the Anderson brothers, and that was my hurt to swallow. Hudson let his emotions get the best of him after we shared an incredible experience, but he never truly loved me. Preston was just an asshole. They were mistakes from my misguided youth—the innocence I let them destroy.
I wasn’t that girl anymore, and I wished I had enough strength to go downstairs and throw whatever I could find at him. I would never let him reduce me to tears again, and I didn’t have any forgiveness to give. It might have been different if he actually cared about me, but I knew what he wanted. I wasn’t his slut—nor would I ever be. I had no interest in climbing into bed with either of them just so they could get their rocks off like they did when they acted like they gave a damn about me. Coffee? Catch up? Hudson wanted the same damn thing. I saw right through them.
“Um, Eliza?” Melanie was at my door again.
“Yes?” I walked over and pulled the door open, feeling a little agitated.
“What was that all about?” She tilted her head to the side.
“It’s a long story.” I left the door open and walked back to my bed.
Sizzle & Share: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 9) Page 7