by Tori Fox
I return to their table and set down all the drinks. “You guys have quite the party going on. What’s the occasion?”
Mason walks over to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Starlight Studios just got a huge job.” I glance over at Noah and his jaw is once again tense. “Dee talked to some friends and he got a huge up-and-coming band out of LA to record here.”
“No way. That’s amazing! Congratulations!” I give Mason a hug and hear Noah cough behind me. I roll my eyes at him. “Well I need to get back to work but I’ll try to celebrate with you on a break.”
I can feel Noah watching me as I sling drinks the next hour. His eyes follow my every movement as I serve tables. He watches me closely as I go up to Mason, Asher, and Darnell who are playing darts in the back. It starts to get annoying and I want to yell at him but Sera knocks over the table of drinks and I rush to go clean it up.
I run back behind the bar and grab more towels and a bus tub for the glasses. Sera, Carson, and Noah help me clean up the mess. Noah sneaks in small brushes against my hand as I do. He helps me carry the dishes to the kitchen. And I thank him as I walk back to the bar and throw the wet towels into a bucket.
“You know you have my towel still.”
“What?”
He gestures toward the towels I just threw. “Reminded me of that night.”
My cheeks flush. “Well, I’m keeping it as payment for embarrassing me.”
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“You saw me buck ass naked, it was completely embarrassing.”
“You saw me naked too.”
My cheeks go redder at the thought of Noah naked. Thank god for the dim lights of the bar. “Yeah well you seem to not care.”
He grins at me. “I don’t and neither should you.”
“Why’s that?”
“There is nothing embarrassing about that body you are hiding under those clothes.”
“I thought we said we weren’t going to talk about this anymore,” I say as I look around to make sure no one can hear us.
“Nah, you said you weren’t, I never agreed.”
Mason walks up to us with the darts in his hand to turn back in at the bar. “Agree about what?”
“That time I saw Anna nak—” I cover his mouth with my hands before he can finish the sentence. No doubt trying to find a way to get Mason to stop flirting with me.
“Nothing,” I say. I look over at Mason who is glaring at Noah. I hope they haven’t talked about the fact they both want me. Well, Mason does for sure; Noah is questionable. But I can tell he does not want me dating his brother.
I walk away from them both to go check on my tables.
Noah yells at me. “I’m going to need that towel back.”
I shake my head. I have no problem giving him the towel back but I really do like it. He just doesn’t need to announce to the world or his brothers he has seen me naked.
By the time midnight rolls around, I am dead tired. The long day starting with early morning yoga and no nap is getting to me. It finally slows down enough for me to take a break. I grab my coat from under the bar and push my way out the back door to the patio to get fresh air despite the cold temperatures.
I nearly scream when I feel a man come up behind me. The patio is closed tonight but we don’t lock the door for fire reasons. And I know a few patrons prefer to come out back to smoke rather than use the front door.
I check my pockets for pepper spray but then the smell of soap infiltrates my nose and I know it’s Noah. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry, I said your name. I thought you heard me.”
I turn around to face him and shake my head. “What do you want, Noah?”
“I told you we need to talk.”
“Talk,” I say a bit short. I don’t mean for it to come out that way but I am tired and grumpy and all I want is my bed or a shot of tequila.
“What’s going on with you and Mason?”
Okay, I definitely need that shot of tequila now. “What do you mean?”
“He has been acting weird around you.”
“And you haven’t?”
He grips the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about Thanksgiving. I just—I’ve been dealing with things I haven’t dealt with in years.”
“What kind of things?” I ask as I prop myself on the edge of a table.
He looks me straight in the eye. “Feelings.” He takes a deep breath before he continues. “I was married, Anna. To the woman I thought was the love of my life. And then she just walked away from me. She left me and to this day I haven’t let myself feel anything for anyone because I don’t want to go through that pain again.”
I bite my bottom lip as I process what he is saying. “You mean you haven’t felt things about anyone since she left?”
He nods.
“How long ago was that?”
“Five years ago.”
I grab the rings around my neck and fiddle with them. “And you mean to tell me you have feelings for me?”
He walks up to me and braces his hands on the table on either side of me. “Yes.”
“Then why don’t you act on them?” I ask boldly, making my intentions clear.
He drops his head down before he answers. “I am afraid if I let someone in I will hurt them in a way I don’t know and drive them away.”
“You think you are the reason she left you?”
He nods.
I grab his chin and force him to look up at me. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”
“I know. But that’s why it’s so hard to let you in.”
I understand what he means. And this is probably the reason we will never work. So I change the subject. “Your brother asked me out.”
His eyes snap to mine. “No.”
I push him away from me and stand up. “No? Are you telling me I can’t go out with him?”
“Yes.”
“You just said you can’t be with me because it’s too hard to let me in.”
He sighs as he walks back up to me. “I think I want to try though.”
I scoff at that. “You think you want to?”
He pulls on the short strands of his hair. “This is hard for me, Anna.”
“And you don’t think it’s hard for me? I lost my fiancé. I hardened my heart to love. You know that. And here I am finally offering my heart to you. For us to see what we can be and you won’t take it.”
“I just need more time.”
“I can’t wait any longer, Noah.”
“Please don’t go out with Mason.”
“It’s too late. I already told him yes.” I lie. I head back to the door to head into the building.
“Anna?” Noah pleads.
I turn around and look at him but don’t say a word as I head back into the building.
I don’t see Noah come back in. He never rejoins Mason’s party so I can only guess he snuck out and went home.
The next day I go to the studio to work on music with Mason and tell him he can take me out when we are done.
18
Noah
I pace my living room. If the carpet on the floor didn’t already have holes in it, I would have worn them in any way.
Mason so kindly texted me that I was an idiot two hours ago. He said he was taking Anna out on a date because I was too much of a pussy to get over Claire and be with Anna.
I know it’s my fault. I told Anna last night that I wanted her but that I couldn’t move on after Claire.
Truth is, I am being a goddamn idiot. Just like mom told me I was.
I punched a hole in my wall after Mason told me he was taking Anna out for dinner.
I know I will never move on. I will continue to live with her ghost if I don’t allow myself to try with anyone else.
But I don’t want to try with just anyone. I want Anna.
I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe it’s her smile, those freckles, her laugh. We connect in a way that I ha
ve never connected with anyone.
And maybe that is why I keep pushing her away.
I feared the way she made me feel. Vulnerable. Because she pulled at the pieces of my soul without either of us realizing it.
I need to do whatever I can now to make her see I am the man for her. Not my idiot brother who doesn’t share the connection we do.
I take Brutus on a walk, trying to pass the time as best I can. He survives a two-mile walk. When we get home Anna’s lights are still out. I hope Mason brings her home rather than taking her to his.
I grab a beer and sit on my porch in the dark and wait for him to show up.
I know it’s ridiculous, but I hold on to hope that he brings her home. Knowing Anna, I don’t think she would sleep with him right away. But they do spend a lot of time together. Maybe she is more into him than I realize.
I finish my beer and grab another. When it’s halfway gone, I see headlights on the street. Then I notice it’s Mason’s Bronco.
He pulls up outside her house. I try to make out what is happening through the windshield but it’s too dark to see.
Anna gets out of her car and walks to her front door.
Asshole could have at least walked her to the door.
She waves at him from her porch before heading inside and turning off the porch light.
Mason waits a few seconds before pulling away but he doesn’t drive off. He pulls into my driveway.
He gets out of the car and finds me on the porch. I stare at him but don’t say a word. He knew how I felt about Anna, still feel about her and it was a low blow to ask her out.
“You are a creepy bastard, you know that?” he says to me as he leans against the rail Anna and I built.
“How was your date?” I cut to the chase.
“Awkward.”
That perks my ears up.
“She is a good friend but not really my type.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
He shrugs. “I like her man. I like her a lot. But she isn’t my type. Hell, I don’t even know what my type is. But I could tell from that date we are better off as friends.”
I stare at him as I twist the beer bottle back and forth between my hands.
“Fuck dude. You are an idiot.” He stands up from the railing at starts pacing. “That girl wants you more than anything. I can tell by how she talks about you, looks at you. And you are a fucking idiot if you don’t do anything about it. Hell, I only asked her out because I thought it would wake your ass up. I heard what happened at Thanksgiving. I was at the end of the hall. It was fucked up, man. You two are perfect for each other and I was hoping that by trying to cut my way in it would wake your ass up.”
“You used her?” I shout as I stand up from my chair.
Mason throws his hands up to hold me off. “No man. I did want to go on a date with her. But from when I first asked her it was clear she only had eyes for you.”
“This is fucked up, man.”
He shakes his head at me. “Maybe you should go change this whole situation.”
“By doing what?”
“Go over there,” he yells, pointing at her house.
I follow his gaze and take a deep breath. Maybe he is right. I should just go over there.
“I’m going to tell you this and you need to promise not to punch me in the face.”
I look back at him.
“You loved Claire more than anything in your life. She was your entire world. But you weren’t hers. She never loved you the way that you loved her. I know that’s hard to hear but it’s the truth. I saw her multiple times when she was out with her girlfriends. You don’t want to know what she would say and I’m not going to tell you because you don’t need to hear it.
“But you do need to walk next door and let that beautiful girl know how you feel about her. She is special. She is special in so many goddamn ways but she isn’t the girl for me. She was meant for you. Your ex-wife left you. And if you don’t get over that fact, Anna will leave you too. She will move on. And I don’t think you want that to happen.”
I don’t know what to say to my brother. This is probably the most honest he has ever been with me about my relationship with Claire and my relationships in general.
I take a deep breath and nod.
He doesn’t say anything more to me as he walks down the porch steps and climbs back into his Bronco.
I watch him drive away before I head inside and throw my beer bottle in the recycle bin. I pull out the picture of Claire and me and look at it one last time before I rip it up and throw it in the trash.
Mason is right. I am never going to move on if I don’t try. Claire might not have loved me like I loved her but I am sure the girl next door can love me more than Claire ever did.
I shut my front door and march across the driveway to her house.
I take a deep breath and knock on her door.
I wait for what feels like hours for her to answer.
I’m worried she might already be asleep.
I go to turn around and head home when her porch light flips on.
The door creaks open and she looks at me in surprise. “Noah? What are you doing here?”
I don’t answer.
I don’t think I can find the right words right now to say to her.
So I do the one thing the two of us have been denying each other for the last month and a half.
I push open her door and walk in her house, forcing her to step backward to let me in.
I shut the door behind me as I grab her waist and bring her tight to my body.
“Noah, what are you—”
I don’t let her finish the sentence. I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers.
And she is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted.
19
Anna
The date with Mason was a doozy.
I felt awkward the entire time we were out. I didn’t know how to act around him as a date. As a friend it’s easy. But the whole time I felt like I was on a date with my nonexistent brother.
There were no fireworks. Not even a spark to light a flame.
When he dropped me off in front of my house, I was glad he didn’t get out of the car. I didn’t want him to try to kiss me again.
The only lips I was thinking about were Noah’s.
In fact, the entire date I was wishing it was Noah sitting across from me, not Mason.
I pin my hair up on top of my head and wash my face, glad the date is over.
I never should have agreed to go on it.
There is a knock at my door. I jump when I hear a second knock. Did Mason come back to kiss me goodnight? I hope not.
I finish drying my face off and walk to the door.
I turn on the porch light and open the door. My heart skips a beat when I see Noah standing there.
What is he doing here?
“Noah? What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t answer me, just pushes his way into my house.
He closes the door behind him as he reaches for me.
My heart starts beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings when he pulls me against him.
I try to ask him again what the hell he is doing. “Noah, what are you—”
But I can’t finish my sentence because his lips are on mine.
And it is the most amazing feeling in the world.
It doesn’t take me long to wrap my fingers behind his neck or open my mouth to his so his tongue can collide with mine.
He pushes me against the wall in my foyer and I groan as he presses his body harder into mine.
His lips are full and soft but hard and determined to prove a point. He bites on my bottom lip and I groan. This kiss isn’t meant to be a delicate first kiss.
No, this kiss is meant to shatter walls.
He moves his lips down my neck, pulling my t-shirt down so he can lick my collarbone.
I groan out his name and he presses his body harder into mine. I can feel his erec
tion pressing into me and I grind against it. My body has a mind of its own when it comes to Noah Taylor and it wants him, all of him.
His lips return to mine and he moans into my mouth as he devours it.
Kissing Mason was fun.
Kissing Noah is like riding the tide during a hurricane. Dangerous, wild, reckless. Like if you let go of the rails you will sink to the bottom of the ocean but if you keep holding on, you’ll see stars as you ride the wave.
This kiss doesn’t just have me seeing stars.
It has me seeing the whole damn galaxy.
I didn’t think a kiss could be like this, taste like this.
It’s passionate, crazy, untamed.
And I want more.
Noah must want more too because he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me into my bedroom and throws me on the bed.
I giggle as that lopsided grin he gave me once before takes over his face. “Mayberry.”
I pull him by his shirt so he collapses on top of me.
I just want more of him.
More kisses.
More smiles.
More everything.
I push him over and roll on top of him, grinding over his hips as I do it.
He pulls me down so I am flush on top of him as he goes back to devour my lips.
His hands roam over my ass as he pushes me further into him.
I have never been more turned on in my life and I want nothing more than to give this man everything.
But then it hits me that we haven’t said a word to each other.
I try to pull away but he flips me over and cages me in with his arms.
He gives me a slow, lascivious kiss before pulling away. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. It’s just—what is happening?”
He bends down and places a brief kiss to my lips. “I was wrong.”
“Wrong?”
He brushes an errant strand of hair away from my face. “I never should have told you no. I never should have let you go on that date with Mason. I should have made you mine from that first night we almost kissed.”
I blush at his words. “What made you change your mind?”