by H. L. Burke
“Shh.” Zephia raised her hand.
“I never should've listened to you or Gan.” Lucan covered his face with his hands. “Oh gods. Oh, Laidra, my child, forgive me. If only you could forgive me.”
The image blinked out. Laidra took the opal and rubbed its smooth surface. The swirling, clouded colors mirrored the confusion in her heart. She swallowed. “He couldn't really mean it. When I was at the palace, he never bothered to speak to me, and he let Gan take me with barely a word of protest. Even with the danger, I feel as if I belong here more than there.”
“I cannot see into your father's heart, but he had no reason to fake his grief. At the very least, he would not turn you away if you were to return to him. Remember, you are not a prisoner here.” Zephia stood. “Excuse me, I would be there for Calen when he recovers. Will you be all right on your own?”
Laidra nodded. She needed to think long and hard about her place in this world—and her feelings for Calen.
As Zephia strode away, Laidra closed her eyes. If she really could cure Calen by agreeing to be his bride, she would do it. Yes, he might not love her in that way, but he had saved her life, and it wasn’t as if she could expect love. Some kings took more than one bride. He could lie with her for the cure then set her free to use her gift to heal while he searched for a woman he could adore, who could adore him.
Though if adoration is called for, I think I could muster it. Even questioning his motives, she savored the memory of his touch, of his companionship. No, I deserve better than to be used and cast aside, but healing gives me joy. Wouldn’t removing Calen’s curse be the ultimate cure? If he asks, I will. I won’t offer, but if he is honest with me and asks, I will give him that.
A thrill shot through her as she imagined yielding to his touch. It would be pleasurable, she knew that somehow. Calen was strong but gentle and considerate. Yes, she would be his bride, if only for a night. She would serve a purpose, but only if he asked.
***
Calen moaned and opened his eyes. He sat up.
“You are hard on the furniture,” a familiar voice hummed.
He turned. His mother stood in the corner of the room, eyes behind a blindfold. He swept his gaze over Laidra’s chamber. Her chairs and table were toppled over, and the sleeping couch had splintered in half.
Calen grimaced. “Things went poorly. Volen was here last night.”
She nodded. “I know. That’s why I’m here now.”
“Yes, well, I sought to comfort Laidra, and it all fell apart. She doesn’t trust me.”
“It's hard for her. After all, her parents betrayed her.” Zephia beckoned to him, and he crossed to her. Her hand caressed his shoulder, and a smile flitted across her mouth. “For once, you do not flinch. Interesting. The girl has been good for you.”
His face warmed. “She’s kind. I’ve enjoyed our time together.”
“You know she could break your curse.” His mother tilted her head.
Calen dropped his gaze. “I can’t use her that way, Mother.”
“Is it using, though? To give a girl your affection?” Her fingers strayed to his cheek. “Calen, I know she isn’t fair, but her heart is good. Perhaps, in spite of her looks, you could —”
“Her looks aren’t the problem.” He pulled away. A storm brewed within him, shaking his certainty. Even now, when he tried to remember her face—the skin he knew to be blotched and craggy, her lank hair—her eyes shone through the imperfections, blinding him to all else. Thinking back, he couldn't remember looking another person in the eyes before. His curse had always been triggered before he had a chance. The intensity of seeing another human, gaze to gaze, overwhelmed everything else in a way he couldn't explain, even to his mother. “Laidra deserves happiness. Yes, her curse has taken its toll, but she makes me smile, and I think—” His throat swelled nearly shut, and he swallowed. “I think I love her.”
“Oh, Calen,” Zephia breathed. “That’s wonderful!”
“No, it’s not!” He clenched his fists. “I tried to kiss her, and she ran. She doesn’t believe me, and she knows about her sister being a cure for the curse. She’s too smart not to put together that she’d be the same cure. She already thinks I’m faking caring for her, but if she decides it’s because of selfish motives, to save myself from a life as a monster, she’ll never speak to me again. I’ll lose her.” He sat on the floor with his face in his hands. “I’ve never felt like this before, and I have no idea what to do. I’d all but resolved myself to losing my humanity, but now that she’s here, I want to be a man for her. I need to be a man for her.”
Zephia knelt beside him and draped her arm about his shoulders. “And you can be. Just ask her.”
“No. Not yet. I need to find a way to make her believe me first. She needs to know I’m asking not to save myself, but because she’s the one I want. No matter what she looks like, no matter if she cures me or not, she’s the one.” He let out a long breath.
“I understand, but Calen, please remember your time is limited. If Volen attacked you here, that means he’s getting desperate.” She stroked his hair.
“And when I’m cured, Volen will be cursed.” He gazed at his mother, searching her face. The corner of her mouth twitched. “Are you all right with that?”
“No, but he and your father rejected my offer to try and save both of you. It seems, whether it is my will or not, I will have to make my choice and sacrifice a son.” She took his hand. “Perhaps it sounds cruel, perhaps it is unnatural of me to make such a judgment, but I truly believe you are the worthier of the two. I think Laidra knows this as well.”
Hot and cold warred in Calen’s chest.
His mother stood. “Your brother and father worry me. I would like to be somewhere I can keep an eye on them. Lead me to the window.”
Taking her hand, Calen guided her around the shattered and upended furniture. He pushed open the shutters, flooding the room with sunlight. She stretched her hands forward as if in prayer, and a cold sea breeze sprang up about them. His mother’s body disintegrated like a handful of sand and whipped out the window on the wind.
Calen smiled. He never tired of seeing that. Though her powers had not descended to him and his brother, they were a thing of beauty, and he admired them.
Chapter Fourteen
Volen thrust aside the curtain to his father’s sitting room. Gan burst from his couch, almost knocking over the pale-haired slave girl who had been fawning over him. She dropped her eyes, flushing bright pink.
The prince assessed her. She appeared to be from Saxonia, milky-skinned and exotic. His father’s taste in women had always been fine, but today he didn’t have time for such distraction.
“Back from Oleva so soon?” His father raised his eyebrows.
Volen huffed.
“After your sudden departure, I put things together.” The king shook his head. “You couldn't resist attacking your brother, could you? From your dour expression, I’m assuming it didn’t go as planned?”
“He slipped through my coils. I would’ve had him, but he wasn’t alone.”
Gan nodded. “Your mother, eh?”
“No, I believe it was the missing princess.”
His father’s jaw dropped, and Volen felt a momentary twinge of pleasure. It was good to see the old man taken aback for once.
“Princess Laidra? But she drowned!”
“Apparently not.” Volen sat beside his father and rubbed his hands together. “I have more control of my actions while under the curse’s influence than Calen seems to, but it is still difficult not to let the bloodlust of that form overwhelm me. If I’d devoured her, would the curse have settled upon me?”
“It is likely. That is why I was so sure of it as a way to end your brother’s half-life.” Gan stood and paced.
The slave girl tried to slip behind the couch, but Volen pulled her onto his lap. Objectively, the Olevan princess was fairer, though not as unique, and a princess did give more prestige than a slave girl
on a man’s arm. “Do you think Calen will lie with the ugly one and end his own curse? How desperate would a man have to be for that?”
“If my understanding of the curse holds, it would need to happen after an officiated ceremony, though your mother could easily arrange that. You must remember, your brother can only visit with her in darkness.” Gan sighed. “She wouldn’t be so distasteful under such conditions.”
Volen traced the edge of the slave girl’s jaw. She quivered under his touch but remained mute. New to the palace, probably fresh from the markets. I wonder if she even knows any of the local tongues? “We need to act fast. I lied about my intent on this journey, but perhaps rather than return, I should’ve gone straight to Oleva.”
Volen admired the light blue of the slave's eyes. Yes, the Olevan princess might be a little less yielding, but flesh was flesh. If that is what his curse required for its undoing, he would consider himself lucky. “I’ll leave in the morning.”
Gan shrugged. “Go if you wish. It may not be necessary, though. Await my messenger dove before you commit to anything with the Olevan princess.” His father stood and motioned towards the slave. “Come along, girl. You can attend me while I consult with the guards.”
Volen's heart faltered, and he gripped the girl's arms, holding her back. “Must you see to that now, Father? I was hoping we could dine together tonight.” While Gan wasn't the best company, he was the only family Volen had, and he didn't feel like being alone right now. Not after he'd come so close to cursing himself to a lonely, mindless life as a massive reptile.
Gan snorted. “You're a grown man, Volen. I'm sure you can find other ways to entertain yourself.” A smirk crossed his lips. “How about I let you have the girl? I imagine she would be a far more scintillating companion than myself.”
Volen forced a rakish grin. “Yes, perhaps she would.”
As Gan departed, Volen ran his hands down the girl's soft, pale arms. At least with her, he wouldn't be alone. Though not the type of companionship he desired, the warmth of her body would console him.
***
Laidra held her pipes to her lips and played a mournful tune. The sad notes echoed about the room. She had yet to speak with Calen since their awkward encounter the day before. He’d returned to his human form and even replaced her furniture himself, dragging in pieces she’d recognized from other rooms, but conversation? No.
Perhaps he was avoiding her. There were many possible motives for that. She had fled from him when he’d kissed her, and she’d foolishly triggered his curse. Perhaps, after some time to consider her appearance, the horror of it had finally sunk in. Perhaps he no longer wished to be with her.
Her song swelled to fill the emptiness about her. A tear trickled from her eye. Please, don’t let him despise me. I don’t need love, but I need his friendship. Please.
Someone rapped on the door. She set down her instrument and called in a quaking voice, “Yes?”
“It’s me.” He cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”
Laidra jumped up and pressed herself to the door, her heart leaping within her. “No, I should be the one to say sorry. I shouldn’t have run away, and I definitely shouldn’t have looked back.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s just… I couldn’t think of the right thing to say, and in my head, a kiss said something. I guess it didn’t translate, huh?” He gave a half-hearted chuckle.
“It startled me, that was all.” Thinking back, she could almost feel the warmth of his lips on hers. Oh, why hadn’t she stopped to savor that? It wasn’t likely something she would experience again.
“Yes, I should’ve known that it would’ve.” A gentle thump vibrated through the wood of the door, and she wondered if he was leaning against his side as she was against hers.
She swallowed. “Calen … I …” I what? I want to heal you? I wish I weren’t hideous? She forced her thoughts into submission and tried again. “Whatever happens, I want you to know I’m grateful for so many things, for you saving my life out there on the water, yes, but also for giving me a place to stay after my family rejected me. Most of all, however, for being my friend.” She rested her palms against the cold, polished wood, wishing she could touch him. “You don’t know how much it has meant to me to have a friend.”
“I think I might have some idea.” He sighed. “Laidy—is it all right if I call you that?”
Something fluttered within her. “Yes,” she smiled. “I like it.”
“Laidy, you’re not the only one who was desperate for a friend. I can’t imagine anything more valuable than what you have given to me, and … I think I would sacrifice anything rather than lose your friendship.”
Her emotions grabbed her by the throat, and for a moment she couldn’t speak. She closed her eyes and tried to wish away the door between them.
“I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all!” she exclaimed.
“Good. I’m new to all this, and I can’t help but feel I’m doing it badly.”
“You aren’t. You’re wonderful.” Her cheeks burned the instant the words slipped from her lips but not from regret. No, she meant every word.
He laughed, not his usual half-hearted, apologetic chuckle, but a good, hearty, honest laugh. Every bit of her melted.
“As a man or as a giant, monstrous serpent?”
“In all fairness, I haven’t gotten a good look at the serpent.” She tried to laugh, but it came out weak.
“If I have it my way, you never will. As much as I try to control that form, it seems to act on instinct alone.”
She slipped to the floor and sat with her eyes closed, savoring his voice. “You’re inside it somewhere. It can’t be pure evil, not with you at its heart.”
“On the other hand, can I truly be good with that somewhere inside me?” The self-doubt in his voice made her ache.
“You are good. No one else would be here speaking with me after what they saw yesterday.” She hung her head.
“Oh, Laidy, no. Look, I failed to find the words, but that’s not because of you. The curse ravaged you, but there’s something beautiful beneath that, near perfect, in fact. The outside doesn’t matter, and even there, it’s not all bad.”
She let out a staggered breath. “I wish I could believe that, but I know how kind you are.”
“You didn’t tell me you had green eyes, for instance.”
Her stomach flip-flopped. “I didn’t really know. When you look like I do, you learn to avoid reflective surfaces.”
“You should look at least once, just at your eyes. It’s a shame. Because of my curse, that’s the one part of you I will never be able to truly appreciate, but I’ll never forget that glimpse in the hall. Whatever happens to me, I’ll treasure that forever.” The door shifted slightly. “I’ll let you get back to your music.”
“You could play with me.” She stood. “I’ll put out the lights and close my eyes when you enter.”
It took a few breaths before he answered. “I'd love that. My lyre's in my quarters. I'll have to fetch it.”
“I'll get everything ready in the meantime.” She grinned, hurrying to snuff the oil lamps as his footsteps faded down the hall.
After a moment of fumbling in the dark, Laidra reclaimed her pipes and began to play again. The song lilted about her like frolicking birds.
Chapter Fifteen
Laidra awakened with a jolt. A cold breeze tickled her face, making her shiver. Pale silver moonlight flooded through a window she couldn’t remember leaving open. Rubbing her eyes, she crossed her bedroom.
She and Calen had stayed up late talking and laughing. Had he left before she’d fallen asleep? She had a vague memory of him pulling the blankets up around her chin and stroking her face as she drifted off. Perhaps he’d opened the window before departing.
Putting her hand to the shutter, she blinked. The sea stretched out like a black field, but the breakers shone white in the moonbeams. Fla
mes of orange light dotted the beach.
Someone’s on the island? Is it Volen? Gan?
Something rustled behind her, and she whirled around. A hand clamped over her mouth and jerked her into the shadows.
“Got her!” a rough voice said.
Laidra sank her teeth into the man’s hand.
“Yeow!” He yanked away.
She bolted for the door, but a shadow loomed before her.
“Calen! Run!” she shrieked, uncertain if he was near enough to hear.
The second man grabbed her. A grimy, sour cloth went into her mouth as cords bound her arms. She struggled, but her attackers simply tightened her bonds. The second swung her over his shoulder. Unable to free her hands, she drove her toes into his chest in a series of frantic kicks.
“Feisty little witch,” the man grunted.
The other snorted. “Be glad we weren’t sent after the prince. At least this little hag isn’t going to turn into a serpent in your arms.” They started down the hall. A few of the oil lamps still flickered, giving off weak light, but the men extinguished them as they went. Instead of relying on their eyes, they followed a rope strung through the halls.
An arc of moonlight revealed the open castle door. A smaller man, perhaps a boy, rushed up carrying a torch.
“Put that out!” the man carrying her barked. “The king doesn’t want the prince to turn until he’s good and ready.”
Panic sliced through Laidra’s chest like a blade. If Gan was behind this, it didn’t bode well for either of them.
The smaller man dropped the torch and stomped on the flame until only sparks remained.
Laidra kicked and grunted, though the gag muffled her voice. I have to warn Calen.
“That’s it, you can walk!” The man dropped her to the ground and gave her a push.
Unsteady without the use of her arms, she toppled face-first into the sand. She tried to worm away. Her captor snatched her up by the ropes and dragged her along. Laidra dug her heels into the loose ground.