CHAPTER XXXV
THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER
When the rain ceased and the moon began to shine, Jess was still fleeinglike a wild thing across the plain on the top of the mountain. She feltno sense of exhaustion now or even of weariness; her only idea was toget away, right away somewhere, where she could lose herself and nobodywould ever see her again. Presently she reached to top of Leeuwen Kloof,and recognising the spot in a bewildered way she began to descend it.Here was a place where she might lie till she died, for no one ever camethere, except now and again some wandering Kafir herd. On she sprang,from rock to rock, a wild and eerie figure, well in keeping with thesolemn and titanic sadness of the place.
Twice she fell, once right into the stream, but she took no heed,she did not even seem to feel it. At last she was at the bottom, nowcreeping like a black dot across the wide spaces of moonlight, and nowswallowed up in the shadow. There before her gaped the mouth of thelittle cave; her strength was leaving her at last, and she was fain tocrawl into it, broken-hearted, crazed, and--_dying_.
"Oh, God forgive me! God forgive me!" she moaned as she sank upon therocky floor. "Bessie, I sinned against you, but I have washed away mysin. I did it for you, Bessie love, not for myself. I had rather havedied than kill him for myself. You will marry John now, and you willnever, never know what I did for you. I am going to die. I know that.I am dying. Oh, if only I could see his face once more before Idie--before I die!"
Slowly the westering moonlight crept down the blackness of the rock. Nowat last it peeped into the little cave and played upon John's sleepingface lying within six feet of her. Her prayer had been granted; therewas her lover by her side.
With a start and a great sigh of doubt she recognised him. Was it avision? Was he dead? She dragged herself to him upon her hands and kneesand listened for his breathing, if perchance he still breathed and wasnot a wraith. Then it came, strong and slow, the breath of a man in deepsleep.
So he lived. Should she try to wake him? What for? To tell him she wasa murderess and then to let him see her die? For instinct told her thatnature was exhausted; and she knew that she was certainly going--goingfast. No, a hundred times no!
Only she put her hand into her breast, and drawing out the pass on theback of which she had written her last message to him, she thrust itbetween his listless fingers. It should speak for her. Then she leantover him, and watched his sleeping face, a very incarnation of infinite,despairing tenderness, and love that is deeper than the grave. And asshe watched, gradually her feet and legs grew cold and numb, till atlength she could feel nothing below her bosom. She was dead nearly tothe heart. Well, it was better so!
The rays of the moon faded slowly from the level of the little cave, andJohn's face grew dark to her darkening sight. She bent down and kissedhim once--twice--thrice.
At last the end came. There was a great flashing of light before hereyes, and within her ears the roaring as of a thousand seas, and herhead sank gently on her lover's breast as on a pillow; and there Jessdied and passed upward towards the wider life and larger liberty, or, atthe least, downward into the depths of rest.
Poor dark-eyed, deep-hearted Jess! This was the fruition of her love,and this her bridal bed.
It was done. She had gone, taking with her the secret of herself-sacrifice and crime, and the night-winds moaning amidst the rockssang their requiem over her. Here she first had learned her love, andhere she closed its book on earth.
She might have been a great and a good woman. She might even have been ahappy woman. But fate had ordained it otherwise. Women such as Jess arerarely happy in the world. It is not worldly wise to stake all one'sfortune on a throw, and lack the craft to load the dice. Well, hertroubles are done with. Think gently of her and let her pass in peace!
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