by Julie Hall
“So, um, would you mind if I come in? I actually wanted to apologize for earlier this evening. You know, after I was leaving the training center. And I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind talking a bit. I just have some stuff on my mind I was hoping I could talk about.”
I stared down at the mat, feeling rather dejected as she left me hanging outside. And then Romona’s hand came to rest on the same shoulder I’d shrugged her off earlier. With relief, I sensed through the empathy link that I was already forgiven. She gave me a reassuring squeeze before letting go.
“Of course. Come on in so we can talk.” She held the door open for me.
My jaw dropped as I walked through the door. Romona lived in a ballroom. Domed ceilings soared at least thirty feet in the air, meeting at a point in the middle where a crystal chandelier dropped down like a pendant to light the room. The walls were draped with rich velvet fabrics and adorned with gilded mirrors. Intricately inlaid wood covered the large square floor from one end to the other. And a wall of glass held a breathtaking view of the distant mountain range.
“What do you think?” she asked
“It’s empty,” was the first thing out of my mouth. “I mean it’s incredibly beautiful, but you don’t have any furniture.” And then as an afterthought, “And how did this all fit behind your door? There’s another door not a foot away from yours!”
She lifted her eyebrows. “I would have thought after we finished your room, you’d realize spatial rules don’t really apply anymore.” She shook her head, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “And I do have furniture, I just put it away sometimes. I like the peace of the empty room. It keeps me from getting distracted.”
She circled the room, pushing points on the velvet walls and inlayed floors. Within a matter of moments, the area was transformed. Thick rugs appeared, expertly placed beneath lounging chairs and couches. A wood-burning fireplace popped out of the far wall opposite a lavish dining room table with eight seats.
“I swap the bed with the table in the evenings,” she offered before I even realized it was missing.
“This is so . . .” I couldn’t finish. I was entranced.
“It’s home for now. But you said you wanted to talk?”
“Yeah, ah, that would be nice.”
I took my time getting settled in a peacock-blue wingback chair. Romona sat perpendicular to me on a tufted brown leather couch. She remained silent while I collected my thoughts, but I didn’t get the sense that she was angry . . . just waiting.
“I really am sorry for how I acted earlier today.”
“Thank you, but it’s already forgotten. We all have our bad days.”
“But that’s just it. You’ve been nothing but nice to me. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I feel extremely bad for repaying your kindness with sharpness.”
“Audrey, none of us are perfect.” When I tried to object, she held up a hand to silence me. “We all have our breaking points, and while I was hurt, you’ve come to make amends, and that’s really all that matters. Don’t you agree? Our friendship goes deeper than one sharp exchange. We’re kindred. There’s nothing to have lingering guilt about. But there’s more you’d like to discuss, isn’t there?”
I nodded. Of course she was wise enough to realize something had set me off. The lightness I’d felt at her declaration of friendship was weighted down by the reminder of my troubles.
“Yeah, that. I had a pretty hard workout today. All the attention we got from being on Earth was awkward. And I met a new hunter today, which threw me for a little bit of a loop.” All true.
“Well, the last part at least sounds like good news. You need to meet some more people. It will make you feel more part of the team.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
She folded her hands and leaned forward a little. “There’s something I’m missing, isn’t there? You’ve had rough training days before. Who exactly did you meet today?”
“I mean, it probably shouldn’t matter, but it was another girl. Her name was Kaitlin. I don’t think she’s from around here. But she knew Logan pretty well.”
Romona looked thoughtful for a moment.
“Kaitlin. Hmmm, yes, I’ve met her. Logan introduced us a while back. If I’m not mistaken, I think they knew each other back on Earth.”
That rocked me. But what did I care if Logan had history with a very blonde and leggy friend? I shouldn’t, as long as it didn’t interfere with my training. The uncomfortable and confusing knot in my stomach refused to be convinced.
“Oh, well, that explains why they were so friendly.” I tried to sound nonchalant instead of unnerved. “I supposed I’m just not used to seeing other girls around the training center. Do you think she’ll be around for long?”
Was I really doing this? Pumping a friend for information.
Romona shrugged her shoulders in indifference. “I suppose it depends on what she’s doing here in the first place. If it’s just for a social visit, then probably not. But she could be here on assignment. In that case, there’s no telling how long she’s going to be around. She might even have a permanent transfer for all we know.”
I tried hard not to show my panic. Seriously, why did I even care? Why were my insides churning? Shouldn’t having another girl be around be a good thing? Yes, it was a good thing. I could use another girl to relate to. And why not Kaitlin?
The ugly answer rose in my gut faster than I could ignore. Jealousy. That’s why. I was jealous of Kaitlin without knowing much more about her than her perfect ponytail. Disgusted by my own weakness, I sighed heavily.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. It would be good to have another girl around.”
“That isn’t what that sigh sounded like.” Romona eyed me carefully.
I sighed again. “Okay, truthfully I was a little intimidated by her.”
Romona only nodded to let me know I could go on, as if she knew there was a deeper core to the matter.
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
She shook her head gently. “Not if you don’t want to. But I think you may feel better if you do.”
“It’s just . . .” I struggled to get the feelings out without betraying any connection to Logan. “She seems to be everything I’m not. I’m not picking this up quickly, Romona. I’m horrible at it. I know I sound like a broken record, but sometimes I think I’m actually getting worse. And if nothing else, Kaitlin seems to fit in so easily. She reminds me of what I’m not. And it puts me on edge.”
Romona’s brows creased deeper as I spoke. When it was quiet, she spoke up.
“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.”
“Ha! I don’t think Logan would agree with you.” I kicked myself as soon as the words were out—I wasn’t supposed to be bringing him into this conversation.
“I think he would. That’s the impression I got from talking to him about yesterday.”
My heart skipped a beat. “You talked to Logan about yesterday?”
“Yes. After you snapped at me, I was worried something worse had happened than what I’d heard. He said it was your quick thinking that got both of you out of the jam. He also mentioned you weren’t completely horrible at surfing, which I’m guessing is pretty high praise from him.”
A smile played at the corners of her lips. And she was right— “not completely horrible” was just about the highest praise I’d received from him. My heart still beat erratically. I couldn’t imagine Logan telling her we’d kissed, but the knowledge that they’d talked about yesterday made me nervous.
“Well, anyway, that’s just how I felt today. Kaitlin reminds me of my weaknesses.”
“Your differences from the other hunters are not weaknesses, Audrey. You have no idea yet what you are capable of. What special gifts the Lord has given you. You’ve hardly even begun to figure them out. Kaitlin is absolutely going to excel in some things you don’t, but that doesn’t mean you are any less important,
any less gifted than she is. We’re not supposed to be looking to the right or left to see how we measure up.”
Even delivered gently, the reproach in her words was loud and clear. I found myself both humbled and hoping it was true. Humbled because of how I’d treated Kaitlin and hoping that I was special—uniquely created for a purpose.
“Do you really believe there’s something special about me?” I asked quietly.
“Absolutely! I have no doubt about that at all.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Romona. I needed to hear that.”
She smiled back and squeezed my hand. This time I didn’t even flinch. I welcomed the compassion she always offered so freely.
“Here, let’s have something to drink. I think it’ll make you feel better.”
She reached under the coffee table and pushed a button. A panel slid back, and a polished silver tray holding a teapot, two teacups, cream, sugar, and a few small round cookies rose in the middle of the table. I went for the cookie first as she poured tea.
“So, ah, what’s the deal with people falling in love here anyway?” I asked around a mouthful of cookie.
Romona choked on her tea but managed to gracefully regain composure.
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
Why had I asked that? It had just slipped out. I picked up a delicate cup and took a sip, refusing to look anywhere but out the window. Romona’s room faced the outdoor rec area, and a smudge on the glass was suddenly very interesting.
“What made you think of that?” Romona’s tone was soothing and nonthreatening, as if she was trying to coax the truth out of me.
I shrugged, still staring intently at the smudge. “Nothing, it just randomly popped into my head. I’m always curious as to what the rules are here. Having missed orientation and all.”
Romona stayed quiet just long enough to make me believe she was going to let the topic slide.
“Yes.”
“Huh?”
“Yes, you can still fall in love,” she answered.
“Oh.” I should have left it at that. “So, have you like . . . you know . . . met anyone or anything?” My face warmed as I spoke. I snuck a quick glance at Romona. There was a wistful smile on her face.
“I’ve already met the love of my life.” She took a deep breath and let it out. She was remembering something, perhaps even savoring a memory. She pegged me with clear eyes after the moment passed. “I’m waiting for him here.”
“So you mean he hasn’t died yet?” I crinkled my nose. “Won’t he be kind of old when he gets here?”
Romona burst out laughing even as I literally clamped my hand over my mouth. She laughed so hard she had to put her teacup down to keep from spilling. It took her several minutes to calm down, but she’d started to hiccup. I stared at her with raised eyebrows.
“Well . . . hiccup . . . I guess you can just say . . . hiccup . . . I like older men.”
Ew. I was doubly sorry I’d asked.
13
A Second Chance
When I arrived at our training gym the next day, I found a note waiting for me in Logan’s distinct handwriting.
There are some things I need to tend to today. You’re on your own. You can use our gym or find another to continue training.
Under the brief message was a list of exercises and drills. There was no signature.
Holding the message in my hand, I contemplated the likelihood of being able to blow off training without being caught. As soon as the plot started to form, I dismissed it, sighing heavily. Regardless of whether he’d find out, using his absence to skip didn’t sit well with me. And besides, I was unexpectedly enticed by the idea of training for a day without a mentor. It sounded almost peaceful.
I surveyed the familiar gym. No, if today was going to be different, even special, I needed a change of scenery. Someplace that didn’t remind me of Logan so much. Grabbing my bag and shoving Logan’s note into one of the side pockets, I set off to find an empty gym.
Craving solitude, I walked to the remote reaches of the training center, assuming a gym this far on the fringe would be vacant. Without thought I shouldered the doors and barged in on someone. Surprising us both.
“Oh, geez, Kaitlin, hey. Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. I’ll ah, get going. Good luck.” I mumbled the hasty apology while backpedaling out the door.
“Hey Audrey, wait up a second.”
I froze with my left leg over the threshold, facing the freedom of the hallway. I’d almost made it out. I let out a quiet breath of frustration before slowly turning, all the while silently reminding myself that she really hadn’t done anything to deserve my scorn.
“Sure. What’s up?” I plastered what I hoped was a pleasant smile on my face. It might have worked, because she relaxed and smiled back in return.
“You can come back in. I was hoping to find an opportunity to talk to you anyway.”
I reluctantly stepped back into the gym. The door swung shut loudly behind me. I wished it stood as a barrier between us rather than confining us together.
Kaitlin brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. “Listen, I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot yesterday. I was hoping for a fresh start. I think we could be friends, maybe even good friends. I know yesterday didn’t go that wonderfully. I want you to know I really was only trying to be helpful. Well, that and I was trying to be funny, but I see now it fell flat and I just ended up embarrassing you in front of Logan. I really—”
I cut her off. “You didn’t embarrass me in front of Logan. I mean, it doesn’t make any difference to me what Logan thinks. He’s just my mentor. Why would you think I cared?”
I wanted to slap a hand over my mouth again. I could imagine the gears working in Kaitlin’s brain to make sense of my outburst. Before she could think about it too much, I continued, “But anyway, yeah, I’m sure we could be friends. Why not, right? And you know, don’t worry about yesterday. It was just kind of an off day for me in general.”
She twirled a piece of her ponytail as she considered my words. I knew she wasn’t buying it.
“Well, I should get going. Lots of fun workout stuff to do today.” I took a step backward and searched blindly for the door with my hand.
“Are you sure, Audrey? You seemed a little upset with me yesterday. I would really like to make amends.”
My fingers found the door handle. “Yeah, I’m sure. It wasn’t you. Like I said, it was just an off day.”
“I guess I can understand that. Especially considering what had happened on Earth the day before. Logan seemed a little off as well,” Kaitlin said, still twirling her hair and scrunching her perfectly shaped brows together thoughtfully.
It took an extreme effort to keep my features schooled. “Yeah? Not so sure about that. I’ll let you get back to it. Have a good workout.”
With a quick turn of the handle and a step backward, I was breathing in the free air of the hallway. I took off to the left but slowed to a stop after a few hurried steps. Touching my forehead to the wall, I sucked in a huge breath. What was wrong with me? Was I just a naturally nasty and distrustful person? Is that what I had to look forward to when I reclaimed my memories? Kaitlin had been perfectly nice, and I basically ran out of the room in a panic. Why did I have to react negatively to everything? Why was I incapable of giving Kaitlin a fair chance?
I knew the answers to all my questions. It was because I felt threatened by her. Her very existence made me insecure. It didn’t have anything to do with Logan—or at least it didn’t need to have anything to do with him. I needed to get over this. And quickly.
Before I could consider what I was about to do, I marched a few purposeful steps back to Kaitlin’s gym and pushed open the door again. She was in the middle of a series of kicks on the punching bag. She stopped and gave me a quizzical look.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you again. I wanted to let you know I really do want to try to be friends. I’m just in kind of a weird place here.
This,” I used my hand to indicate the gym we were in, “is a little more difficult for me than I think for everyone else. A little less . . . natural. I’m still getting my footing. For some reason, seeing you yesterday threw me off. If you really meant it, and if you can get over my weirdness from yesterday and today, I would like to try again.”
Yikes! It wasn’t my intention to share that much, but there it was. I was taking a leap of faith that Kaitlin was sincere. I hoped I hadn’t made a mistake.
Kaitlin’s eyes softened considerably. “Thank you,” she finally said. “Thanks for trusting me with all of that.”
It was a relief that she understood the risk I’d just taken. “I didn’t give you a fair chance. And I’m trying to be . . . better, I guess.”
“I understand.”
“I hope you aren’t offended that I find that hard to believe.” My words were free of their usual acid this time—I was being sincere.
She nodded. “I know what it’s like to feel like you are alone in all of this.”
“Really?”
“Yes . . . I didn’t settle into all of this as easily as you might think. I had a learning curve too. And there were lots of things I needed to come to terms with as well. I figured there might be some things you wanted to talk about. I know you have Romona, but I hope you know I’m here as well if you ever need another ear. The guys here are all great, but well, there are just some things they won’t get.” She finished with a lopsided smile.
“Ha, that’s for sure.” My barriers were starting to crumble and with it the tightness I carried around inside, loosen a notch.
“Anyway, I know the chance you were taking by coming back in here, and I want you to know I don’t take that lightly. And I’ve got a good feeling about you.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant. I gave her a look that said as much.
She laughed. “Don’t look so scared! It’s a good thing. I’m just saying I think you have some amazing things ahead of you. I’d like to do what I can to help you reach them.”