by Julie Hall
My heart was heavy. I needed to know that we had a clear purpose. Not a hidden one we didn’t know about, but a real, solid, concrete reason for what we were training to do. And I needed to know that it was good.
“Why are we called to protect people, to fight off demons, to fight off evil? What is it about us that got us chosen for this job? Why does God need us at all?”
I opened my eyes and propped myself up on an elbow to watch him. His face was a bit melancholy. Again with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Logan put the sword carefully back down before speaking. “I think,” he began, and then paused to inhale and exhale, “I think for each of us the answer to that question is different.”
Too vague. I was looking for someone to make sense of things. Of at least one thing. I needed to be assured there was a reason we were all here.
“Do you know what the answer is for you?”
Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I thought for a moment he wouldn’t answer. “I assumed there would come a day when you asked me that.” When he opened his eyes, he turned his head to look at me. There was a storm brewing in his blue depths. “For me, I believe it is about redemption.”
What did that mean? Logan continued without my prodding, but he turned his head away to surveying the clearing as he spoke.
“I lived my life like I was out of control. There was always something new to chase. A new sensation, a new high. And I was very creative at finding new experiences. My life was lived without regard for others. It was only at the end that I realized the damage I’d caused to those who loved me and how little I’d actually given to anyone.”
Logan’s face, even though I was only privy to his profile, was as closed off as I’d ever seen it. His expression was a blatant contradiction to the vulnerability of his words.
I wondered if he thought revealing some of the more unsavory details of his life would make me think differently of him . . . less of him. I wondered if regret over the way he’d lived his life was what caused his pendulum to swing so far in the other direction. He was so disciplined, even rigid at times. It made sense that he might believe one extreme would balance out his sins. But there had to be another reason for the distance he kept—the wall he erected to shield himself. I was getting a glimpse, but not the full picture.
“So you’re trying to work off the deeds of your life?”
“No. I know it might sound like that. Real redemption, salvation, is a gift, not a penance to be worked off. There’s no way for any of us to work off our regrets. No amount of good deeds could cover the bad ones in our lives, in any of our lives. There’s only one way to cover those sins, and it has nothing to do with what works we do here in eternity. But even so, my spoiled life did have an effect on me after death. I believe I was chosen for this job, this duty, because of what I was supposed to have accomplished on Earth. I believe the plan for my life was greater than what I lived out. I think I’ve been given the second chance to live that purpose. And to realize that no matter how many good things I do, there is only one covering for my sin.”
I turned Logan’s words over in my head. They forced me to look introspectively. Did my afterlife fit into any plan? Could I expect to have a great purpose? I secretly feared waking one day to be reacquainted with a person I wished had stayed forgotten. A person full of hate and ugliness. What if that reality became true? It sounded like for Logan, it had. How would that change me now?
“Logan, how long did it take you to remember?”
“Not long. I remembered my life almost right away. It was important that I remembered so soon.”
“Why was that?”
“Before I died, my heart had started to change. Things were different, but by then it was too late to make a real difference. When I woke up here, I needed to remember what had happened for the change to be complete. It only furthered my desire to serve the living, to help protect them. But it’s been a journey to realize where true redemption comes from. I’m still making the journey. I understand here,” he pointed to his head, “but I’m still working on believing it here.” He pointed to his heart.
I couldn’t stop the questions from falling out of my mouth. “What changed you then?”
Logan reached down and plucked one of the small golden flowers from the ground. He brought it closer to his face to inspect it with a small smile on his lips.
“I met someone.”
Something in my stomach dropped. I didn’t want to hear anything about Logan’s romantic relationships on Earth. Seeing him with Kaitlin was hard enough. To break the bond I needed to let go of him, but that was getting harder as we grew closer.
“It was the most important, life-altering relationship I’ve ever had,” Logan continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “I was loved for being me and accepted unconditionally, even with all the black marks in my past. When I started to truly see the mess I’d made of my life, it was hard to think that anyone could love me like that. Realizing someone would accept me in that state, well, that will change a person. I only wish I’d discovered it sooner.”
My heart continued to drop. How do you compete with something like that? And did I even want to? There was a physical ache in my chest I wanted to ignore.
“It was a relationship that convinced me I was worth something. That my life was worth something. That everything ugly I’d done would be forgotten and it was possible to leave my old life in the past.”
A stillness hung in the air, and Logan’s next words were very gentle, almost a whisper.
“Audrey, I think you know this person as well.”
And that’s when I knew he’d really lost it. I sharply swiveled my head to find him staring back. There was a depth to his eyes that I couldn’t begin to understand.
He might have gone on, and I might have questioned him further, but instead something came crashing through the trees.
20
Angelic Encounters
I was on my feet an instant after Kevin loudly stumbled into our clearing. He was out of breath and a bit scratched up.
“You guys gotta come quick.” He paused to swallow another gulp of air. “We’ve been called in for duty.” He looked at Logan. “Level One combat.”
Logan’s jaw set, and he nodded once before scooping up both our weapons. He handed me the sword. I caught Kevin taking an apprehensive look at the weapon before I sheathed it.
Logan headed for the trees without a word, and I took after him at a jog. The idea of another mission so soon sent a bolt of something through me—whether fear, apprehension, or even excitement, I wasn’t sure.
“Kevin, what’s going on?” I asked.
“Some sort of crisis. They called a bunch of us in to help. Some hunters have already headed down to start the attack. Or perhaps prevent one.”
Logan’s head swung around. “Who’s down already?”
Kevin looked nervous. “Alrik and Romona. And some of the hunters from the northern region, including Kaitlin. I would have gone too, but they wanted me to find you guys first. They want us to meet up with them at the safe house as soon as possible.”
“This is something we’re working on with another region?”
Kevin nodded once.
At that, Logan faced forward and continued his fast trek through the foliage.
“Kevin,” I tried not to let my voice carry too far, “is there something wrong with that? What’s the big deal with working with another region?”
Kevin dipped his voice as well.
“It’s just unusual. We have enough hunters here that we don’t usually need to work together. It only happens when something big is going on.”
We were through the trees and walking into the training center in record time. I bent over with my hands on my knees to catch my breath, and pinched my side where a stitch had formed. Logan went to get the details of our mission and returned almost immediately. “Kevin was right; a group of hunters has already been dispatched. We’re to meet
up with them on Earth to get the full rundown. We need to get into our gear and leave immediately.”
He looked at me pointedly. “Make sure to bring that sword of yours.”
I nodded once as my stomach flopped. He thought we were going to be in a situation where I would need it. Since one touch of the sword seemed to slice through demons like a knife through warm butter, they most likely hoped I would be an asset.
“Audrey, do you have body armor here?”
My heart dropped. “It’s in my bedroom.”
“Use this, then.”
Logan closed his eyes in concentration, and a moment later a puddle of liquid material formed in his upturned hands. He tossed the fabric to me. I caught it midair and shook my head.
“How do you even know my size?”
Logan simply lifted his eyebrows, looked me up and down quickly, and gave me a wicked smile. After that, he turned on his heel and headed down the hallway, his own armor quickly melding to his body. I was left staring after him, speechless and flushed. If I didn’t know better, I would say that had been rather flirty.
Halfway down the hall, he threw an order over his shoulder. “We’ll meet you in five minutes in the gym. Get that sword strapped to your back so you don’t accidentally set someone on fire.”
Kevin jogged down the hall after Logan with a small smile for me. I hurried to the girl’s locker room. This time I didn’t stop to admire myself in front of the mirror. I only spared a moment to make sure I’d put the armor on correctly before shoving through the doors to meet Logan and Kevin.
Minutes later we were standing in an alley on Earth. I was so jumpy that my hand itched to grab the sword from its sheath on my back. I willed it to stay. I’d draw attention the moment it roared to life. Attention we were looking to avoid.
“Audrey, stay here.” Logan’s voice made me jump from the tension, though I wasn’t tense enough to instantly comply.
“What do you mean? Why can’t I go with you guys?”
“We’re going to make sure the coast is clear and figure out where we’re meeting the other hunters. It must be somewhere close by. You’ll be safer here.”
The alley dead-ended not far to the right.
“Oh come on! You’ve got to be kidding!”
The look he shot me said he wasn’t. I changed tactics and appealed to the easier target.
“Kevin, come on, this is silly.”
Kevin shifted nervously from one foot to the other, his eyes moving between the two of us. “Sorry, Audrey. Logan’s your mentor, it’s up to him.”
I leaned against the wall. “Fine, go off and do your thing. I’ll just follow after you’ve rounded the corner. I’m getting a little tired of the overprotective act.”
Part of me meant that. Another part was scared out of my mind and secretly fearful of being left alone. I firmly put a lid on the latter emotion and concentrated on the annoyance.
Logan forced my attention. “Audrey, you know I’m not asking for permission.” His voice sounded menacing. He was trying to further intimidate me by trapping me against the brick wall. I stiffened my neck. “Kevin, would you mind giving Audrey and me a minute? I’ll catch up with you in a moment.” He didn’t take his eyes off me when he spoke.
Kevin’s footsteps retreated. Logan was using his eyes to their full advantage. I was reasonably certain that this time he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Audrey, we’ve talked about this before, and you need to promise to do everything I say today. I can’t have you challenging every order, not here, not with the reality of these stakes. We’re not in the training center anymore. This isn’t a game or a joke or even a battle of wills.”
My throat was so dry I couldn’t find my voice. Logan took a half-step forward to take hold of my shoulders. I sucked in a quick breath. He was always so careful not to touch me, so when he did, even without the empathy link, it was a shock to my system. Standing here like this in the dimly lit alley, it was very hard not to remember the last time the two of us had been in a similar location.
Logan’s mind wasn’t in the same place as mine.
“Audrey, do you understand what I’m saying? I need to know that you’ll listen to me. That you’ll get yourself to safety if I tell you to.” There was an edge of desperation in Logan’s voice. It was his vulnerability that finally broke through my pride.
I was only able to nod once as Logan’s eyes searched my face. When they lingered on my lips a moment longer than they should have, I flushed. Perhaps he was remembering the same thing.
He dropped his hands. Still standing close, it seemed he wanted to say more, but with only a nod, he abruptly turned and followed Kevin out of the alley. I couldn’t move until Logan had disappeared around the side of the building. I kicked an empty can out of frustration, and it ricocheted off the opposite wall loudly before bouncing to rest not far from where it had first been. Why were things with Logan always so confusing? I had an answer for that almost as quickly as I thought it. That stupid kiss. And I had a suspicion that Logan had just effectively used it to manipulate me.
When this was over, I was really going to have to figure out what to do about the bond. In the meantime, the innocent Coke can received another kick for good measure.
I wasn’t sure if it bounced back to the same spot because what happened next blasted me off my feet.
The powerful bright light sent me sailing, ending with a bone-shattering butt landing. For a few horrible moments, the world was nothing more than a burst of red and yellow behind closed lids. And then with a blink, the world returned to normal, and I was on the pavement with a very sore backside. My body armor had saved me from scrapes along my hands and arms. I shook my head once to clear the fuzz.
“I seem to have startled you.” The strong voice echoed off the walls of the alley and again through my head, rattling painfully even after he stopped speaking.
I put a hand to my ear before looking up to see who had spoken. My eyes widened.
Lounging against a brick wall in the single ray of sunlight that had defiantly snuck between the buildings was the most beautiful angel I’d ever seen. In fact, the most beautiful being I’d ever seen.
His skin, smooth like polished stone, sparkled in the light, reflecting a myriad of colors. He wasn’t looking at me, but was instead inspecting a speck on the knife he held. He turned it this way and that, letting the sunlight glance off the weapon as he moved it, blinding me occasionally. I was truly stunned speechless.
Without looking up, he addressed me again.
“You seem to have lost your way.” It was an observation, not a question.
“Ah, not exactly.”
“Is that so?” Still looking at the knife, he arched a brow.
“I was just waiting. Is there something I can do for you?”
That seemed to amuse the angel. He smiled.
“Perhaps. But it’s a little too soon for that.”
His words befuddled me. Something in his voice caused the thoughts in my head to jumble whenever he spoke—like talking in a dream, where things made sense without making sense. Something inside nagged at me that I should do something, but I only sat and stared.
The angel continued, almost as if he was speaking to himself.
“It is strange he would pick one such as yourself. Burdened by weakness and easily controlled by your passions. I would have thought a bigger challenge was in store, but it appears that is not the case. Disappointing even.”
His words cut sharp and deep. Just like the knife in his hand was capable of doing.
“I suppose if he really cared, he’d have picked a more worthy opponent—but then again, he has always enjoyed sending a sheep to the slaughter.”
The words became like ice in my gut as I struggled to understand the angel’s strange musings. Struggled to do anything but sit there and stare.
“Nevertheless, it is what it is, so I suppose we shall play another round.”
The angel heaved a sigh. Was
he bored? Frustrated?
“So what is it exactly that you have there?”
Without my permission, my hand inched toward my sword. My fingers were just about to wrap around the hilt when a flash of white and gold landed in front of me, shaking the ground.
Gabriel.
His appearance halted my hand. He stood between me and the other angel, who hadn’t even looked up at the intrusion.
“What do you want?” Gabriel’s words, booming in my ears, were surprisingly harsh.
“Nothing, dear brother. It was just a bout of curiosity. It appears to have been a waste of my time.”
“I doubt it was only that.”
The angel shrugged—he didn’t care what Gabriel thought. He was still fixated on that knife, casually turning it over in his hands again and again.
“This one is under my protection for now.” Gabriel took another step to shield me with his body.
“Hmmm, for now, you say. I was once a guardian myself. I wonder how long you will be in the position.”
Gabriel began to glow. His hands clenched into fists and heat radiated off him, growing hotter every moment. Sweat started to trickle down the back of my neck.
“It would be good of you to remember whose domain you are in now, brother,” the angel said.
“It would be good of you to remember how long that will remain true,” Gabriel retorted.
A small clench of the jaw was the only thing that gave away the mysterious angel’s anger. He covered it quickly with a slow smile as he shrugged again. “Perhaps.”
Finally sheathing the knife in a holster on his belt, he turned in my direction. I gasped. Where his eyes should have been, there were none. Instead was just blackness, a fathomless abyss. Even with no eyes, I knew he was staring straight at me, perhaps straight into my soul—the real me who I didn’t even know. Enthralled as well as repulsed, I had the sensation of falling into empty space before he broke eye contact to stretch his arms above his head. A pair of wings, made of shadows that spanned the height of a man in either direction, unfurled from behind him.