‘I think it may have been a murder–suicide,’ I say, trying to rally my voice.
‘You think your father killed your mother?’ she says.
I slowly shake my head. ‘No. I think it was the other way around.’
TWENTY-FOUR
The morning following our argument was a true test of our relationship’s mettle. We rose at the usual hour, had a quiet breakfast of blueberry Eggos, then went downstairs and climbed into the Jeep. For some reason, I was sure that was when Brody would break. He’ll know, I thought, he’ll know I screwed Ethan in here. It might as well be written in lipstick on the rearview mirror.
But Brody turned the ignition and pulled onto Tusitala without a word. By the time we reached downtown Honolulu, I felt like we were through the worst of it.
We parked in a garage on Bishop Street and headed toward the Dillingham Transportation Building, where a lawyer named Philip Kopec maintained a solo practice specializing in personal injury. Kopec had agreed to meet us at his office first thing but cautioned that he had to be at a deposition several blocks away by nine.
Before we left Church’s suite last night, Jesse provided us a contact number ‘that’ll be good for forty-eight hours’, should Brody and I require his assistance investigating Nate.
‘Know what?’ Church said. ‘Why not just take him home with you?’
He grabbed the speaker box from the table and tossed it in our direction. Brody, luckily, had fast hands.
‘How do we turn him on?’ I asked.
Church said, ‘Some cartoon porn and a pair of egg-and-cheese Hot Pockets should do the trick.’
While I had been up North Shore getting laid, Brody and Jesse had begun their research on Nathan Jakes. Although I wasn’t privy to much of the evening, Brody, in an email to Church that I was generously cc’d on, summed it up thusly:
Performed relevant keyword search of office and private Gmail accounts, which yielded no pertinent information. Searched multiple databases of Hawaii State Judiciary and discovered an open grievance with the Disciplinary Board filed by Philip R. Kopec, Esq. for nonpayment of fees in an injury lawsuit. Contacted Attorney Kopec and arranged meeting at his office 8 a.m. tomorrow.
‘I went to law school with the son of a bitch,’ Kopec said, pretty much as soon as we walked through the door.
My eyes went immediately to his ego wall and spotted the juris doctorate from University of Hawaii at Manoa, William S. Richardson School of Law. He’d graduated same year as Nate.
‘Hasn’t changed a single iota since then,’ Kopec said. He was a round man with a headful of shaggy blond hair. ‘Always looking for the easy way out, and to hell with anyone in his path.’
‘Were you ever in his path back then?’ I asked.
‘Me? No. But plenty of my friends.’ He paused, grinned. ‘Well, they’re my friends now, thanks to Facebook. No one ever spoke two words to me back then.’
‘What did he do?’
‘Well, it wasn’t so much what he did, as what he didn’t do. Which was to take the study of law remotely seriously. Never read the assignments, hardly ever appeared in class. Then, when exam time came around, he’d con some poor bastards into handing over their semester’s work so that he wouldn’t fail out. Even paid some geek to complete the take-home tests.’ He shook his head in disgust. ‘Derek Grasman. Some douchebag, listened to Rocky theme music to pump himself up before every exam – and was proud of it.’
‘Not a fan?’ I said.
He shrugged. ‘I would’ve done the take-homes for half the price and put in twice the effort.’
‘So,’ I said, ‘Nathan Jakes’ academic dishonesty was your main beef with him then?’
‘No, he also screwed around with half the girls in class, while he was newly married with his first kid on the way.’
‘Did you know his wife?’
‘I knew of her. She grew up one town over from me in Mililani. Pretty girl – Cheyenne Oh, I believe her maiden name was. Poor thing.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Nate never wanted her – not long-term anyway.’
‘He told you this?’
‘No, I overheard it.’ He laughed. ‘You pretty people think we uggos are as nonexistent as we are invisible. But we’re not. We’re there, we have ears, we hear things. Nate never really wanted her, never even wanted to go to law school. He knocked her up, and her family convinced him to get a graduate degree, to “make something of himself”.’
‘He never considered any of the alternatives?’
‘I’m pretty sure he did. But something tipped the scale, and that something was her old man’s money. Her father is a businessman in town, has millions, but the family has always lived modestly. They still live in central Oahu, far as I know.’
Kopec appeared winded. He checked his watch for the second time in five minutes.
‘We think he’s still messing around behind his wife’s back,’ I said.
‘Wouldn’t surprise me one bit. Like I said, he hasn’t changed. Which is why I filed that grievance against him recently. I had this huge case against Matson, the big shipping company here. My client literally lost an arm and a leg in the accident. Got them trapped under one of those gigantic shipping containers. I worked the case for almost six years, through two deadlocked trials and numerous appeals. Nathan Jakes – and he’s known for this, ask any injury lawyer in town – poaches my client, settles the case because he’s buddy-buddy with the insurance lawyers, who undoubtedly get a cut, then wholly ignores my lien on the case and takes the entire fee for himself. Tried to settle with me for pennies on the dollar.’
‘You never got paid?’
‘I got paid,’ he said. ‘Nickels on the dollar. I had no choice. I’d just been through a nasty divorce. He had me by the short and curlies, if you’ll excuse the expression.’
‘Mind sharing the client’s name?’ I asked.
‘Not at all, it’s public record now.’
‘Who is he?’
‘It’s not a he at all. It’s a she. It’s always a she with this guy.’
In the elevator on the way downstairs, I asked Brody whether our interview with Kopec further convinced him that Nate was sleeping with Piper.
‘We know he was,’ he said.
‘Not necessarily. Trace evidence winds up in the strangest places, for millions of different reasons. One of Nathan’s pubes could have theoretically found its way into Piper’s bedroom via—’
‘It wasn’t found in Piper’s bedroom. Church just said that to lessen the blow. He was afraid Ethan would go ape shit.’
‘Where in the house was it found then?’
‘It wasn’t found during the police search at all. It was discovered during the autopsy. While the pathologist was combing through Piper’s own pubic region.’
That evening we sat on Church’s terrace, passing a joint as the sun dipped into the Pacific. There were five of us again tonight, but Nathan Jakes wasn’t here. To our great fortune, Marissa Linden was with us instead. In fact, Church announced soon after we arrived that Marissa was joining the defense team now that we had multiple leads. (Yay!) In better news, Tahoma had boarded a plane and was on his way back from Australia. Church wouldn’t allow Tahoma to discuss the details over an international call, but it was clear from their conversation that Tahoma’s trip to Melbourne had been fruitful.
Upon learning the truth about the discovery of the pubic hair, Ethan finally resigned himself to the fact that he had been betrayed, both by Piper and his own brother, and he was prepared to move forward.
‘I’m going to hold a press conference,’ Church said.
‘Why now?’ I asked.
‘The discovery of this new evidence.’
Ethan shook his head. ‘No way, that’s not what I want. All of Oahu doesn’t need to know Piper cheated on me.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Church said. ‘All of Oahu – i.e. our entire jury pool – needs to hear this as clearly and as often as possi
ble over the next few months. An enlarged graphic of that pubic hair is going on the one-sheet for the documentary. By the time this case is over, that pube is going to be as iconic as the fingerprint for Scott Turow’s Presumed Innocent.’
‘Let’s hold off on the one-sheet for now,’ I said. ‘Ethan, Church is right.’
Church scoffed. ‘Why do you always refer to me by my last name?’
‘It’s just easier, OK?’ I turned back to Ethan. ‘The public is going to find out anyway. It’s going to come out at trial regardless. Only the prosecution will introduce it early to get it out of the way, make it seem to the jury like it’s no big deal. We might as well allow Church to maximize its impact.’
I felt Brody’s eyes on me, more penetrating than any camera. I’d just taken another step into the story. I could no longer hide behind the guise of an objective observer. Now I was, undeniably, one of the players on Team Ethan.
‘I’m not sure introducing it now is the best strategy,’ Brody said. ‘First, it’s too close in time to the Breakers incident. The media will tie the coverage together and dilute the hair’s impact. Second, assuming we receive copies of the lab tests from the prosecution this week, waving that pubic hair around right away may make us appear desperate.’
Church bowed his head, almost humbly. ‘BQ’s right. We need to get it out there some other way.’ He rested his elbows on his thighs and his chin on his fists. ‘How do I come off as more credible?’
Marissa leaned in. ‘You act more like yourself.’
‘Sexy? How’s that going to help?’
‘I was actually going for sleazy.’
‘You think I need to come off as a sleazoid?’
‘You need to get into character,’ she said, eying all of us now, knowing she was maybe, possibly, being brilliant in front of the cameras. ‘You need to act like a lawyer.’
TWENTY-FIVE
Back in the editing room following my appointment with Dr Farrockh, I scan my log to find Church’s first press conference, which took place later that week. It’s brief but impactful. I key in the time code and press PLAY.
‘Good morning,’ Church says onscreen. ‘I know there’s been some speculation about whether this press conference will be about new evidence unearthed in the case, but I’m afraid it’s not. In fact, my first press conference in this case will be my last press conference in this case. Effective immediately, I’ve withdrawn from the case as Mr Jakes’ attorney due to the discovery of a conflict of interest.’
‘What’s the conflict?’ Kalani Webb calls out.
‘I didn’t want to go into details this morning, but I suppose it’ll be made public anyway. Frankly, new evidence has been discovered, and it implicates the individual who was paying my client’s tab.’
‘How is that a conflict?’ Kalani says.
‘Well, aren’t you a rambunctious little guy? It’s a conflict of interest because I’m interested in money, and my client doesn’t have any.’
‘Isn’t that a little harsh?’
‘Harsh? No. Because the introduction of this evidence will surely convince Ms Lau to drop the charges against Ethan Jakes and to indict the proper party.’
‘What if she refuses?’
‘If she refuses, Ms Lau will be embarrassed at trial, because this new evidence is so clear cut, it vindicates my former client entirely.’
I pause the video and smile. On the terrace, I had objected to that line. I’d said, ‘People aren’t going to believe something just because you say it.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Church had said with a theatrical frown, ‘were you not on Earth for the last presidential election?’
I hit PLAY again.
Onscreen, Church says, ‘At the end of the day, it won’t matter who represents Ethan Jakes in this case. It’s an open-and-shut acquittal if ever I’ve seen one. Any jackass can take it to trial. Just not this jackass.’
‘What is the evidence?’ Kalani calls out again.
‘I’m sorry,’ Church says, ‘I didn’t catch your name.’
The cameras turn on him. ‘Kalani Webb, Hawaii Action News.’
‘Kalani,’ Church says in a condescending voice, ‘have you recently noticed hair growing on your body where there was no hair before?’
I’d objected to this line as well, but Church insisted that ‘we need to sear this pube into people’s brains; I mean really get it in there’.
‘For those of you in the cheap seats,’ Church said loudly, even though there were only about a dozen reporters gathered around, the farthest maybe ten feet from him, ‘I’m talking about pubic hair. A pubic hair belonging to someone other than Ethan Jakes.’
I pick up the script and read along.
KALANI
Discovered at the scene?
CHURCH
Discovered on the body.
CHURCH pauses to allow the words to sink in.
CHURCH (CONT’D)
During the autopsy, a pubic hair belonging to another man was discovered on the victim’s body.
KALANI
Where on the body?
CHURCH
The pubic hair was discovered by the pathologist during a preliminary comb-through of the victim’s own pubic region.
KALANI
Who does the hair belong to?
CHURCH
I’m sorry. That I’m not at liberty to say at this time.
KALANI
Who was paying your client’s legal fees prior to this discovery?
CHURCH
(with zero hesitation)
My client’s brother – Nathan Jakes.
CHURCH raises his palms.
CHURCH (CONT’D)
That’s the last question, thank you. Before you leave, don’t forget to tip your bartenders.
Yours truly had the distinction of slipping Kalani the 500 dollars I’d offered him earlier in the week, following our strategy session on Church’s deck.
Kalani didn’t look happy. ‘What the hell was that?’
‘Church ad libs,’ I tried.
Kalani tried not to smile, but his cheeks turned a familiar mauve. ‘Next time he ad libs about my groin, tell him I’m going to go to work on his with my dad’s power tools.’
I smiled back. ‘I’ll be sure to pass that along.’
TWENTY-SIX
I like to get paid for it. Even though it wasn’t in our contract, in a rare gesture of selflessness, Church paid me and Brody for our services throughout the investigation and trial. Although the influx of cash was desperately needed, at times it felt so much like a conventional job that I feared Brody would quit just on principle. When he was a child, his mother kept him holed up in a cluttered little clothing store she owned. Paid him a full twenty-five cents an hour but forced him to buy his own food. Five hours after school would earn him a slice of pizza from the Italian joint next door. A full twelve-hour day and he could add mozzarella sticks to his order. While other children were out riding bikes and playing ball, Brody Quinlan was selling inexpensive cotton dresses to plus-sized women for basic sustenance. One night in bed after sex, I asked him why he hadn’t told anybody. He said he didn’t even realize at the time that child labor was wrong; in fact, he often wondered how kids whose mothers didn’t own clothing stores that paid a quarter an hour ever ate. Besides, between the physical assaults, the emotional blackmail, the constant barrage of hateful words and unabating humiliation, twelve hours on a summer’s day locked away alone in a cramped clothing store seemed almost like a vacation.
Sitting next to each other now in the editing room, I place my hand on his and kiss his clean-shaven cheek.
‘I think we should go with a montage here,’ he says. ‘Kind of sum up the months of tedious investigation with just the highlights and lowlights leading up to trial.’
‘We can try that,’ I say, ‘but let’s lead in with a pertinent interview – the older lady two doors down from Piper’s house.’
‘Yeah, but that’s pertinent only in the sense
that it corroborates that Nate was visiting Piper regularly. And we’ve already given away the store on that news with the introduction of the pubic hair. Maybe this scene should come earlier.’
‘I disagree,’ I say. ‘If it comes earlier it lessens the impact of the pube – and the Introduction of the Pube scene is one of the most dramatic scenes until trial.’
‘Chronologically, though, this interview came before the pubic hair, at a time before Nate was suspected of anything, and our reactions to her answers reflect that.’
‘Not necessarily. And we can edit out our reactions if necessary.’
‘Let’s play the scene,’ he says.
‘I don’t need to, I know it by heart. You, me and Tahoma—’
‘Pre-Australia Tahoma.’
‘Are you going to let me describe the scene before you start pointing out everything that’s wrong with it?’
‘Aren’t we debating this? Isn’t that why we’re talking the scene through in the first place?’
I raise my palm. ‘Kindly reserve all questions for after the show.’
Brody smirks.
‘What?’ I say.
‘That was quintessential Church. Not only what you said but how you said it.’
‘Are we really having this argument?’
‘I think it’s fair for me to point it out when you’re being glaringly hypocritical. Since we started post, you’ve accused me of speaking like Church, acting like Church – you even accused me of stealing his smell.’
‘His scent. And it was the same scent.’
‘Because it was complimentary from the Four Seasons.’
‘You’ve never worn cologne before, and suddenly you want to smell like a nightclub at the Jersey Shore?’
‘Ugh.’ He throws up his hands. ‘All right, you want to know why I used the cologne at all? Because during the trial, things were happening so fast, I didn’t have time to shower for a few days.’
‘Oh.’
‘Is that vintage Church?’
‘No,’ I concede, defeated. ‘That’s vintage Brody.’
TWENTY-SEVEN
‘Sometime’ after the weathergirl died, Brody, Tahoma and I were back on Mount Tantalus, hitting the homes where no one answered the door first time around. Our first stop was one house down from Kalani’s, two from Piper’s. Kalani had been the only person I’d recognized from television thus far, but that changed when ‘Neighbor’ (you remember, that upper middle-age Caucasian female in the boho muumuu who appeared on the news report announcing Piper’s death) opened the door.
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