by Nia Arthurs
Jo chased his hand and held it tightly. “No, don’t let go.”
He watched her, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Finally, he looked away and cleared his throat. “Let’s ditch this place then.”
Jo followed him happily, but when she saw his car, fear clamped around her heart. She knew that if she got into Sun Gi’s truck, he’d take her straight home. The ride was what? Ten-fifteen minutes?
That wasn’t enough time.
Her inhibitions were almost non-existent right now. She’d never allow herself to get this close to him sober and she didn’t want the night to end so soon.
Just two hours. She’d stall him for two hours and then she’d go home.
Jo thought fast and clamped an arm around her stomach, moaning pitifully.
Sun Gi stopped in his tracks and bent toward her. “Are you hurt?”
“My stomach. I think I want to throw up.”
He glanced back and forth. “Wait a minute. I’ll find a trash can.”
“No.” She held his arm when he tried to move away from her. “It’ll pass. I just need to walk it off.”
Sun Gi bit down on his lip. She could sense his hesitation.
Jo shrugged. “Or you could take your chances with the car—”
“Let’s take a walk first.” Sun Gi led her to a nearby park, but he didn’t hold her hand.
Jo didn’t push for more. If this was all she’d have with Sun Gi, if this was the most her crush would amount to, at least she’d have this one night. For her memories. For her regrets. It was better than not being with him at all.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Jo would be his secretary—professional, composed, and emotionless.
Tonight, Sun Gi was hers.
25
Sun Gi glanced at the beautiful woman striding beside him. He wasn’t exactly sure when his feelings for her had become so strong.
Maybe it was the night they survived a mugging together and he found out she was Nightingale.
Maybe it was the day he found her curled up with Brighton in the department store.
Maybe it was gradual, like summer shifting into the rainy season, powerful yet unnoticed.
It didn’t really matter. At least he knew now.
Jo had regained some of her coordination as they circled the park. For that he was grateful. His heart still thudded from holding her close when she’d tripped in the bar. A repeat of that would put him into territory where he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
Jo hadn’t said anything yet. Instead, she’d kept her eyes closed and seemed to enjoy soaking in the sea breeze.
The Belize City Park was fairly busy for a Monday night. Children trampled the grass, their little fingers hooked around kite strings. A few crawled all over the slide on the playground. Parents supervised from their perch on brightly colored benches.
Vendors in a cluster of huts sold fried tacos, hot dogs, garnaches and other snacks. The Caribbean Sea thrashed against the dark lit horizon.
Jo giggled.
Sun Gi looked at her. “What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking that my grandmother would cry with joy if she saw us and thought I was dating you.”
“Why?”
“You’re the perfect Asian son-in-law—handsome, respectable, rich.” Jo shook her head. “She’d come to the wedding and try to make up if I married someone like you.”
Sun Gi focused on her almond-shaped eyes. “Did you get into a fight with your grandmother?”
Jo stopped and faced the sea. “She fired me after finding out that Joon and Sky were together.”
“That seems illogical.”
“Not to Halmoni.” Jo glanced at him with a sad smile. “Relationships like that really bother her. She tried her best to keep my parents apart, but nothing worked. Instead of curing her ignorance, she just got more stubborn.”
“Give her a little time. She accepted you, didn’t she?” He tilted his head.
“She did that out of duty, not love.”
“How do you know?”
Her voice cracked. “Because of what Halmoni said when she fired me.”
“What did she…?”
Jo crossed her arms in front of her chest. “She said I shouldn’t have been born.”
Sun Gi’s jaw slackened. Anger, the kind that blinded, seared his chest. How could anyone ever say that to a person—much less a grandmother to her grandchild?
“I’m sorry, Jo.”
“It’s okay. You know—” She brushed away a tear. “I don’t let things like that bother me.”
Some people would rather hold onto their hate than embrace love. That’s not your fault.” Jo looked like she needed a hug so Sun Gi put his arms around her shoulders and brought her into his chest.
Her tears soaked his shirt. He encompassed her fully, wrapping her up so she could cry without being seen. His hands trembled. This was dangerous. Jo was breaking, and he was taking advantage.
He should let go.
He didn’t.
Sun Gi loved the feel of her. Near. In his arms. She felt right there, just as she had earlier when he prevented her from falling.
He ducked his head into her hair. Felt the softness of the curls. They released a fragrance similar to jasmine—clean and sweet.
Jo smelled like a dream come true.
The wind buffeted his shirt, but he sheltered her from the cold and soaked in her warmth. In the back of his mind, he knew he was toeing a line—if he hadn’t already crossed it—but he couldn’t drag himself away.
Like the waves were at the beck and call of the moon, Sun Gi was at Jo’s mercy. Everything inside him gravitated to her. It went beyond anything he’d ever felt before.
Consuming.
Enrapturing.
Like her voice when she sang.
Jo pulled back a little, but he was as unwilling to let her out of his grasp as she was to leave. “Was it hard,” he asked, “being hated for who you are?”
“I used to pray every night that God would make me either black or Korean. I hated that I was both.”
He listened, not saying anything and allowing her to get it all off her chest.
“It was so frustrating.” Jo huffed. “I was black, but not enough. I was Korean, but not enough. I wasn’t enough.”
He brushed away a lock of hair that the wind tossed into her face, letting his fingers caress her cheek down to her jaw. “You know that’s not true, Jo,” he whispered. “You are enough.”
“I know.” She pulled away from him suddenly. He saw her delicate throat bobbing and her eyelashes struggling as if she was using all her strength to keep her composure. “I’m sorry, Sun Gi.”
“For what?”
“I shouldn’t have called you tonight. Hanna must be waiting for you to go back to your date.”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets as a substitute for her warmth.
It didn’t compare.
“Hanna’s in Korea.”
Her eyes whipped up. “What? Since when?”
“She left today for personal reasons. I was at home trying to decide if I should eat the beef-flavored Ramen noodles or the chicken-flavored when you called. So I’m grateful.”
Jo covered her mouth as she laughed. “In that case, I’ll take back the apology and treat you to dinner instead.”
“You said that last time and we got mugged.” He went for his wallet. “I’ll take this one. But are you up to eating? Aren’t you still nauseous?”
“I wasn’t really sick before,” Jo said, a red flush growing on her cheeks.
It continued to astound him, the way she reddened. He’d always assumed that black women didn’t blush.
Sun Gi smirked. “So you lied to me?”
“It wasn’t a lie. It was acting. That’s different.”
He decided not to argue with her or try to dig deeply into why she would trick him. He just went with it.
Jo stuck close by his side as they walked to the nearest vendor. The tears that had been g
listening in her eyes when she talked about her Halmoni and her struggles with her multiracial identity were gone, replaced with an almost child-like exuberance.
It was contagious. Sun Gi found himself smiling easily and ignoring the people who shot them weird looks. Jo had an uncanny ability to fill his entire world so that everything else faded into obscurity.
They got their orders and settled around the park bench to eat. He opened Jo’s water bottle for her and handed it over. She accepted it easily, as if they’d done the exchange a hundred times before, and unwrapped her serving of Orange-Walk-style tacos.
“Are you gonna eat all of that?” he asked.
“Watch and learn, buddy.” She licked her lips and dove in.
He watched her, enjoying the sight of her smiling so much that he forgot about his own food.
Jo noticed him watching and wiped her hands on a napkin. She studied him unabashedly the way—he was sure—he’d been appraising her. “So, I showed you my deep, dark secrets. It’s your turn.”
“Mine?”
She nodded. “What’s the deal with you and Joon?”
“Is being nosey a drunk quirk of yours?”
“Nope. That one’s available in both settings.” She smiled sweetly. And he found his own mouth tilting up in response. Jo shook her head so her hair flailed down her back. “Did you start fighting because of Hanna?”
“No. We were fighting long before then. Drove our dad crazy.”
“Bo Young mentioned that your dad died when you were about to go to college. I’m sorry.”
He leaned back. “Did she tell you about Joon getting stuck in Korea too?”
Jo nodded.
Sun Gi stared thoughtfully at the dark waves. “Everyone could see that Joon was closer to Dad. I tried not to let it bother me. I figured I’d get to prove myself eventually. But I couldn’t.” He shrugged casually. “I guess I wasn’t enough either.”
Jo reached out and put her hand over his. “You’re more than enough, Sun Gi.”
Feeling exposed, he got up to throw his trash away.
Jo met him as he returned to the table.
“I’ll take you home.” Sun Gi remained quiet and thoughtful on the way to Jo’s. The only thing that broke the silence was when she gave him directions. He parked in front of a sprawling split-level and cut the engine.
“Thanks for the ride.” Jo climbed out.
He debated walking her to her door but remained inside. His emotions were all over the place right now and if he spent another minute with Jo, he’d either kiss her or shake her.
Neither option was acceptable.
In the distance, he noticed that Jo had gone still on the pathway, unmoving. He was just about to pop the door open when she spun and sprinted toward him.
He lowered his window as Jo threw herself against the door and climbed onto the running board so she was eye-to-eye with him.
“There’s one more thing I need to say before I’m sober.”
He cocked his head. “What?”
“I like you,” she blurted. Then Jo angled her head through his open car window and kissed him.
An explosion went off in his chest.
Jo pressed her soft mouth against his and his mind went blank. Before he could decide if he should kiss her back, she dragged her lips away and smiled shyly.
His hand, with a mind of its own, stretched toward her face and cradled her cheeks. His thumb brushed her soft brown skin, traced the cupid’s-bow line of her top lip. His body ached with need for her.
Just as Sun Gi leaned in to kiss Jo properly, Hanna’s face popped into his mind—“Would you give me a chance? Three months. Date me.”
He froze, his lips a millimeter away from Jo’s, his nose caressing hers. He’d made a promise to Hanna and as much as he wanted, with his every breath, to ravish Jo until she was flat against his car door… he couldn’t.
Sun Gi pulled back and stared straight ahead. His voice escaped rougher than he wanted when he said, “Go inside.”
Jo’s eyes widened and without a word, she fled.
Bastard. Coward. Idiot.
Sun Gi started his car and cursed himself all the way home.
26
Jo’s eyes burst open. Her heart skittered like a crazed drummer giving the performance of his life. She rolled to her side as a wave of pain crashed against her head and moaned pathetically.
What happened last night?
She sat up with a huff, her hair falling all over her face. With trembling fingers, she raked it back.
A glance down revealed the button-down shirt and tight pencil skirt that she’d worn on her first day at work as Sun Gi’s secretary.
Why was she still in her office clothes? Jo usually wore pajamas to bed.
She swung her blanket off and twisted around to scoot off the mattress when a memory crashed into her. Sun Gi’s breath on hers. Her lips grazing his mouth. Her fingers digging into the crevice of his window.
Jo gasped and clutched her throat. “No way. That has to be a dream.”
“I like you.”
She whipped her head to the left. That voice. It sounded like hers.
The memory burst to the forefront of her mind in HD.
“There’s one more thing I need to say before I’m sober…”
“No, no, no!” Flailing her arms, she twisted around on the bed and yanked the ends of her hair. “Please, God. Please kill me now. Or better yet, turn back time.”
There was no lightning. No mighty voice raking the foundations of her home. Nothing. Jo was stuck with the drunken mistake she’d made to her engaged boss.
A knock sounded at the door.
“Joana?” Her mother shuffled in with a pot of tea and a frown. She set the tray holding the tea on her nightstand and sat on the edge of her mattress. Long, black hair swayed over her shoulders as Min-seo placed a palm on Jo’s forehead and tested for a fever. “How are you feeling?”
“Mom…” Jo cried, “I think I need to quit my job. How do you feel about a bum as a daughter?”
Min-seo smacked her behind. “Not under my watch.”
“What about taking a trip, huh?” Jo scrambled closer to her mother, eyes gleaming maniacally. “You love visiting Korea. Maybe we should go tomorrow.”
“I have work, honey. I can’t just hop on a plane to Korea.” Min-seo glanced at the clock on Jo’s side table. “And so do you. Didn’t you hear your alarm this morning?”
Oh crap!
Jo shot out of bed and raced to the closet. Her head swam from the sudden movement, but she ignored the sensation and rummaged through her cupboards for something to wear.
“What are you doing? Min-seo called in concern. “I brought you some ginger tea. It will help with the hangover.”
“I have no time. I have to help Sky at the bakery.”
“Do you think you’ll make it? It’s already six o’clock.”
“I’ll just take a bird bath and hope for the best.”
“Nasty.” Min-seo scrunched her nose.
Jo chose not to comment and disappeared into the bathroom. Five minutes later, she emerged—looking more like a human being. She’d caked on a load of makeup and gargled two cups of mouthwash to mask the stench of alcohol that still managed to linger on her breath.
Even if she decided to avoid Sun Gi by running into incoming traffic, she couldn’t let Sky down by not showing up to work at all.
Jo hopped to the car on one leg as she struggled to put her flats on while poking her key into the lock. She drove like a madwoman through the streets.
A few minutes later, she dashed into Sweet Treats and skidded to a stop in front of Sky and Jewel.
“Sorry”—she sucked in a deep breath—“I’m late.”
“I thought you wouldn’t make it,” Sky said, staring curiously at her. “Your mom called and said you stumbled in drunk last night and that you’d overslept.”
Jo groaned. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you after the morning rush.”<
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Sky nodded soberly.
Jewel just ducked her head and kept quiet.
The women worked together, serving their customers. As usual, the stuffed jacks flew off the shelves. Jo threw her all into being as cheerful as possible as if her kindness to the community could make up for her sordid behavior last night.
Sky served the woman and then whirled toward her. “Okay, things are slow now. What’s up?”
“Run away to Korea with me.”
Sky’s jaw dropped. “Girl, you crazy.”
“I’m serious. I’ll teach you the language—you said you wanted to learn it so you could talk to Joon Gi in Korean. We can rent a little apartment together and teach English at an academy.”
“Jo, what is going on?”
“I made a huge mistake last night.”
Jewel, who had just been opening the door, shirked back and whispered, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, you can stay.” Jo beckoned. “Stay and learn from the mistakes of someone who’s older than you.”
Jewel gave Sky a questioning look.
Sky just nodded. “We’re listening.”
Jo told them everything—starting with the birth of her crush on Sun Gi to singing to him at The Hidden Reef and finally, the goodnight kiss.
“So he didn’t kiss you back?” Sky shook her head in disbelief. “At all?”
Jo rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. I just remember going for it.”
“But then he caressed your face?” Sky turned to Jewel and demonstrated, running her fingers along the girl’s dark skin. “Like this.”
Jewel giggled.
It was the first time that Jo had seen her laugh. She looked even more stunning when she lightened up.
“Exactly. He moved in to kiss me.”
“This all happened through the car window?”
“Yup.”
Sky chuckled. “I can’t imagine it.”
“It’s tattooed on my eyelids.” Jo flung herself over the counter and tapped her forehead on the surface. “He stopped just before kissing me and said ‘Go inside’. I was so embarrassed I almost died.”
Sky snickered.
“Someone’s life is about to end here. Do you think now’s a good time to make fun of me?”