Then for the first time my spirit was brought up through prayer between heaven and the air. I saw with the eyes of my soul in heavenly bliss the beautiful humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I recognized in his sublime countenance the Holy Trinity-the eternity of the Father, the suffering of the Son, the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. Then I saw an angel, to whom I was entrusted through baptism, and my devil. Our Lord said:
When the soul looked at the two angels, oh, how completely was she unnerved in humble impotence, and she prostrated herself at the feet of our Lord, thanking him and urgently protesting that she was quite unworthy that princes such as this should be her chamberlains. One of the angels was from the Seraphim, and he is an igniter of love and a holy beacon for tender souls. The other angel was from the Cherubim; he is a keeper of the gifts and orders wisdom in the loving soul.
When the soul looked upon the terribly hideous devils, she shivered a little, commended herself to our Lord, and quite freely accepted them. The one devil is a deceiver with beautiful angelic garments. Oh, what a lot of false cunning he presented to me at first! Once during mass he came down from on high and said: "I am so beautiful; don't you want to worship me?"
The soul replied: "God alone shall one worship in all good things and in all distress!"
He said: "Don't you want to look up and see who I am?" Then in the lower air he displayed a beautiful sham radiance, which has seduced many a heretic, and said: "In the throne room upon this seat you alone shall be the most exalted virgin, with me the fairest youth next to you."
But she replied: "A person would not be wise to take the worst when he could easily achieve the best."
He said: "Since you do not want to surrender yourself to meyou are so holy and so humble-then I shall worship you."
She said: "No grace shall be given to you because you worship a foul cesspool."
Then he showed her the five wounds painted on his feet and hands and said: "Now you well see who I am. If you will live according to my advice, I shall give you great honor. You should tell people about this special favor; then much good would come of it."
She said-and his idle talk annoyed her greatly; nevertheless, she listened to it freely so that she might become more shrewd"You are telling me that you are God. Well then, tell me, who is that who is the Son of the living God now here in the true priest's hands?" He then wanted to depart, and she said: "By the almighty God, I admonish you that you now listen to me: I well know your intentions. If I were to tell everyone the secrets of my heart, things would be quite nice for me in the short term. But then you would intently strive to make the fun end badly. You would do this so that I might fall into doubt, sadness, unbelief, impurity, and thereafter into everlasting anguish. Another reason you are doing this is so that I might imagine that you come to me thus because I am so holy. Ha! You old archdeceiver, as long as God stands by me, all your efforts are for naught."
Then he cried out: "A plague on your magic; just let me get away from you. I'll never bother you again!"
The second devil who was assigned to me was a troublemaker and a master of concealed lewdness. However, God forbade him ever to come to me himself. Instead, he sent perverted evil people to me as his messengers who spoil good things for me and take what they can of my honor by their words. He also strives for this: where good people are together and are talking idly in a lewd manner, this cannot help but trouble poor me. Up to then that had never happened to me.
One night I was at prayer before my first sleep. This same devil came passing through the air and took a close look at the sinful earth. He was huge like a giant. He had a short tail and a crooked nose. His head was large like a tub. Out of his mouth fiery sparks came flying covered with black flame. He laughed with cunning malice and a horrible raucous voice. The soul asked him why he was laughing, what he was looking for, and what he was up to.
He answered and said: "I am glad, indeed, since I may not torment you myself, that I find so many who look like angels and are happy to torment you for me." Then he continued: "I am the chamberlain of religious persons and I look for two kinds of weakness in them that will separate them from God in an instant. One is concealed or secret impurity. Whenever a person in religious life seeks the comfort of the flesh without real necessity and in all his five senses, they become impure; that is, crass and lazy; and true love of God grows cold. The other is hidden hatred in open discord. This is a very useful sin for me. Wherever I find it unrepented overnight, there is a win for me, for it is the foundation of long-lasting malice and the loss of all holiness."
Then the soul said: "Since by your nature you have absolutely nothing good about you, how can it be that you can give a morally profitable explanation of your evil?"
And he replied: "Wherever I turn, God has me so firmly in his hands that I cannot do anything except what he directs me."
I, unhappy person, in my early childhood committed such a great sin that, if I had remained without repentance and without confession, I would have to have stayed in purgatory for ten years. But now, dear Lord, when I die, I shall cheerfully suffer torment there for love of you. I am saying this not from reason; love bids me say it.' When I entered religious life and took leave of the world, I looked at my body. It was fully armed against my poor soul with great fullness of strong power and with the energy of a complete nature. I saw full well that it was my enemy, and I also saw if I were going to escape eternal death, I would have to strike it down; conflict was inevitable. I also looked at my soul's weapon. This was the glorious passion of our Lord Jesus Christ. With this I defended myself. I had to remain constantly in great fear and throughout my youth had to deliver great defensive blows against my body. These were sighing, weeping, confessing, fasting, keeping vigils, scourging with rods, and constant adoration. These were the weapons of my soul by means of which I so completely conquered the body that in twenty years the time never came that I was not weary, weak, and sick-mostly from repentance and suffering, but also from holy longing and spiritual toil and, in addition, many a difficult day of sickness from my nature. There was also the violent force of love, which pressed me so intensely with these marvels that I did not dare remain silent about it. Still, because of my naivete, I had much to suffer. I said: "Ah, kind God, what do you see in me? You know quite well that I am a fool, a human being sinful and needy in body and soul. You should be giving these things to wise people; then you would be able to receive praise."
Then our Lord got very angry with little me and asked me for my judgment:
Then our Lord said: "You shall obey and trust me in these matters, and you shall also become sick for a long time, and I shall take care of you myself; and everything that you need for body and soul I shall give you."
Then, a wretch trembling in humble confusion, I went to my confessor, told him the whole story, and begged for his advice. He said I should boldly go forward with a light heart; God, who had been leading me, would certainly preserve me. Then he gave me a command that often makes me ashamed and causes me to weep because my utter unworthiness is obvious to my eyes; that is, he commanded me, a frail woman, to write this book out of God's heart and mouth. And so this book has come lovingly from God and does not have its origins in human thought.
3. Sinners Fall Away from God, of Three Gifts of Wisdom; of the Stone; of the Praise of the Virgin Who Is Christianity2
Just as one soothes a dear child, so does one spank a nasty one. Just so does our Lord act, saying: "Whoever has nothing good about him shall never enter my kingdom; and whoever cannot be made full by transitory things shall be satisfied with hunger for eternity. And woe to him who has goods that stick to his heart and who wants to set himself above other people. He shall slip away from me into the bottomless valley."
To this, holy knowledge replies that God has given us three different gifts in true wisdom from which we should take our fill and by which we should preserve ourselves from all injury.
The first is priestly wisdom and Christian teaching,
as God revealed them to me in great glory. With the true eyes of my knowledge, effortlessly and in sweet bliss, I saw a stone that was like a well-shaped mountain and that had grown out of itself and had taken on the beauty of all kinds of colors and gave off the strong fragrance of precious heavenly spices. I asked the very delightful stone who it was, and it spoke thus: "I am Jesus."' Then I went out of myself in love4 and leaned my head on it. I saw that outside it was shut off from all darkness and was filled inside with eternal light.
Upon the stone there stood the most beautiful of virgins that was ever seen aside from our dear Lady St. Mary, but she is her playmate. Her feet are adorned with a stone called jasper. This stone has such great power that it drives out base cupidity from the feet of its desire.' It also bestows pure fragrance and stimulates holy hunger. It drives all darkness from one's eyes. This pre cious stone is Christian faith. The virgin stood on two feet. The one is the bond, the other is the loosening of holy power.' All Christian believing priests have these. She carries in her right hand a chalice filled with red wine, which she drinks alone in untold bliss. The angels never get a taste of it. The wine is the blood of the eternal Son, which fills her spirit so full that she gives us many a sweet teaching. In her left hand she wields a fiery sword that is full of golden cymbals hanging from it that sound so sweet that everyone must approach her who strives toward the Holy Trinity. I asked the virgin why it was that she carried the sword in her left hand and the chalice in her right hand. She said: "I am supposed to threaten because on the last day of each human being God shall strike his blow. I am also supposed to give away his blood with my right hand, just as Christ is turned to his Father in glory."'
She also has great strength in her hands with which she draws all to herself who choose God and casts off from herself as well all who deliver themselves over to the devil. Ah, she has such a fair countenance. I look at her with ever increasing joy. Unguent flows from her throat; this is mercy, salve for sin. In her mouth she has golden teeth with which she chews the celestial junipers. These are the sayings of the prophets. From her tongue drips honey that the bustling bees, the holy apostles, have sucked from the sweetest wild flowers. She wears on her mouth blossoming roses and her nose is adorned with sweet violets.' She wears on her brow verdant white lilies.' This means she is a mother to widows, a dear friend to married people and a glory to all virgins. Her eyes sparkle full of delight, just as the sparkling sun prods on before it the pale green dawn. And just as her eyes are threefold and yet one, so it is with the Holy Trinity. The white refers to the Father, the green to the Son, the radiant sun to the Holy Spirit." When they gaze at one another from their hearts, no greater joy can ever come about. This virgin also wears on her head a crown that is wrought from red gold. That is lofty counsel and holy action which one has from holy teachers. This crown is like a fortress with battlements before which lies a great pitiful army, and they have a terribly disloyal lord-that is the devil and his fol lowers-who is a treasonous wretch. Within the crown resides a praiseworthy army in full power with abundant defenses. They have a loyal Lord; that is Jesus our Redeemer. He constantly directs the defense of those under attack and leads the exhausted to the wine cellar.
In the crown there is a threefold horn"; in it the hardy shall dwell who are devoted to great love. They have to be the archers and sentries if the weakest are to survive. In the crown there is also a tower. The blessed who shall live there do not often need to enter the fray, but no one can climb up to it unless his complete earthly will has been taken from him by love. The crown has on the top of its battlements a great number of costly precious stones. These are those who have now gone from here to heaven. Inside in the heart of the virgin I saw a living spring flowing forth. Heathen children, all leprous and blind, were being brought there. Above this spring stood a deeply spiritual man. No one but him could reach into it. This wasJohn the Baptist. He bathed the children in the spring that they might become seeing and radiantly healthy. I asked the virgin who she was. She said: "I am she whom you love so well, and I am your playmate. I am Holy Christianity and we both have the same Bridegroom." This is the virgin of blessed priests who so often gaze upon her with love.
The second wisdom comes from our natural faculties by means of which one can do both: lose and win. In this wisdom resides a throng of perverse lay persons and false priests and cunning religious." Never does a person become so holy that he learns how to guard against these three completely. So vicious are they that they pervert everything that is good. No one becomes spiritual from this gifts" unless he also is a fool for the sake of God's love. For pure holy simplicity is the mother of true divine wisdom. What good does it do that a refined gentleman has a lot of money and yet buys nothing but hunger, thirst, long-lasting disgrace, and eternal interior torment as well?
The third wisdom comes from grace and orders all of God's gifts. It never becomes so abundant that it dare compare itself to the lowest creatures. Their distress never saddens it; rather, it rejoices only in God's will. Also, it cannot bear that a single virtue remain locked outside its door.
4. Two Dissimilar Paths: the First Descends into Hell; the Second Ascends to Heaven14
After our dear Lord had revealed this to me, he then said: "He who considers how good I am always holds himself fast on me." To that end help us, Lord, for the sake of your own honor!
5. Our Sin, Future Fall, Earthly Being, the Kingdom of Heaven. God's Gifts Should Be Clearly Before Our Eyes
Lord, my guilt through which I have lost you stands before my eyes like an immense mountain and has created an exten sive darkness between you and me, and an eternal distance of you, alas, from me! Ah, Love above all loves, draw me back into you!
But, Lord, a future fall's stands before my eyes like a fiery dragon mouth that at any time would like to devour me. Ah, my only Good, now help me that I might flow spotless into you!
Lord, my earthly being stands before my eyes like a parched field on which little of value has grown. 0 dear Jesus Christ, send me the sweet rain of your humanity and the warm sun of your living Godhead and the gentle dew of your Holy Spirit, that I might lament my heart's suffering.
Lord, your eternal kingdom stands open before my eyes like the most splendid wedding feast and the greatest celebration and the longest banquet. Alas, my Darling, there you shall forever draw your love-craving bride to your embrace.
Lord, your whole gift that I have received from you appears to my eyes like a wretched box on the ears, because your most sublime gift here makes me seem so worthless. Thus does God who gives it all speak:
6. Being Chosen by God Cannot Hurt Anyone; True Repentance Earns Remission and God's Grace, and Frees from Purgatory
A despondent person asked me to pray for him, which I did with fear and special concern. God heard me with his gaze, with his words, and with his true voice, saying: "There is no lamb so white or so pure that it cannot be vanquished by wolves; yet no one can deter my determinations. I have made this clear to him in three ways. First, I was merciful in regard to his guilt. Second, I have given him my grace. Third, I have never allowed untrustworthy people to exercise any power over him."
Then I lamented for him thus: "Lord, he still has great fears that you have not completely forgiven him his guilt."
Thus did God reply: "That would be impossible. Whoever is sorry for his sins I forgive. Those who repent with deep compunction I grant my grace; and whoever so repents them that he would sacrifice his life before he would ever do it again and remains constant in this shall not be condemned to any punishment after this life because of his guilt, unless he commits real venial sins and is found unrepentant of them.
7. How a Free Soul Speaks to God in Total Love
Lord, because I was subservient to all creatures, you have drawn me up above all things to yourself; and, Lord, because I have no earthly treasure, I do not have an earthly heart either. For you, Lord, are my treasure, just as you are also my heart; and you alone are my good, but I am ca
pricious in all things.
8. Concerning God's Body, Which a Sick Person Vomits Up, and Concerning Power
That a sick person who is vomiting may not receive the Body of God-I was so naive about this that I did not know how to figure it out completely by my own powers of thinking and my own faith, because one can lose God only by sinning. So my soul asked our Lord in the union of love what the truth of the matter was. Our Lord gave this reply: "You are right. One can only lose me by sinning, but one's body can lose my body through sickness." In these words I saw in the Holy Trinity this explanation: Whenever we receive God's Body, the Godhead unites itself to our innocent soul and God's humanity mixes itself with our hideous body, and thus does the Holy Spirit make his dwelling in our faith. This blessed union we should preserve with great care.
9. Four Kinds of Offerings to Priests
Then our Lord said to me that priests should receive offerings from four things and from nothing else: from the altar; from bringing God's Body to the sick-but the sick person should give an offering for the last anointing according to his means and according to what he thinks is good; from the field" he should take what one wants to give him. A priest should not determine and should not demand, because what a sick person has given he should receive only as a favor and not as something rightfully his."
The Flowing Light of the Godhead Page 13