I do not know how the enemy found out when God gave me this knowledge at night and I was united in it with great joy. He came to me and spoke to me in confidence because he wanted to trick me. I heard his voice with my fleshly ears, and I saw his form with spiritual eyes-black, filthy, and like a frightening human. But I was not afraid of him. This is why: Whenever God's grace is present in the soul and occupies the senses, the body cannot be afraid in his presence. But when the body is still occupied with useless activity-if he comes then, the body suffers such pain in his presence that I have never suffered that amount of pain in my life.
Then he said to me: "I dreamed at night that I was rich and had a lot of possessions."
He wanted me to think that this holy union of God with the soul was just a dream. The housewife of the body, the soul, said inwardly: "You are not truthful."
And he said: "Yes, and I shall exist as long as God lives."
And the soul said: "You certainly are smart. Tell me, what should I do?"
The devil went too far: "You should be happy and should make a show of this great event in your demeanor."
The soul: "Unfortunately, I am not so small that I can grasp through the eye of the needle all my enemies to the heavenly gates of my everlasting land."
The devil: "You are shielded all too well."
The soul: "In your words I recognize your falseness, doubt, empty glory, and arrogance. Even if a steel wall up to the clouds were around me, my heart would still never be free and safe from my enemies."
Then he stood there and trembled before me. Oh, how full of falseness that seemed to me to be! Then he tore out his hair and sprang away angrily.
8. How a Person Seeks God
When God chooses to withdraw from someone, that person seeks our Lord God and says:
In this distress the soul noticed her Lover near her, resembling a fair young lad, so fair that it cannot be described. And yet she would have hidden herself. Then she falls at his feet and greets his wounds. So sweet are they that she can no longer feel any of her pain or anything of her age. And she thought: "Alas, how much you would like to look upon his countenance, but then you would have to abandon his wounds. And how much you would like to hear his words and wishes." Then she arises clothed and adorned in spotless propriety.
Then he says: "Welcome, my dearest love." In the sound of the words she knew that every soul that serves God in his favor is his dearest love.
Then he said: "I must temper you as to pleasure, both yours and mine." The pleasure is beyond describing.
He said: "Receive this crown of virgins." Then the crown went from him and came onto her head. It shone as though it were of pure gold. The crown was double and was also the crown of love.
Then our Lord said: "This crown shall be displayed before the whole army of heaven."
Then she asked: "Lord, are you going to receive my soul tomorrow after I have received your holy body?"
"No," he said, "you are to become richer still in suffering."
"Lord, what should I be doing here in this convent?"
"You should illumine and teach them and should remain with them in great honor."
Then she thought: "Ah, now you are here alone with our Lord."
As she thought this, she saw two angels standing next to her. They were as worthy of respect as secular princes are in comparison to poor people. Then she said: "How can I now hide?"
They said: "We shall bring you from suffering to suffering, from virtue to virtue, from knowledge to knowledge, from love to love."
That a sinful mouth should and must say all this is difficult for me; and yet, before God and because of obedience, I dare not omit it. May I keep a human sense of shame and fear of God all my days!
9. How the Loving Soul Praises Our Lord with All Creatures
The loving soul never has enough of praising. That is why she gathers within herself in her longing everything that God ever created and then calls out to heaven: "Lord, if it were possible that all these people were as perfect and as holy as your blessed mother, Mary, that still would not be enough for wretched me for praising you fully with your only begotten Son. Lord, can one ever praise you enough? No, and that makes me happy."
To this our Lord replied: "Those virgins who have long served me shall praise me."
10. This Happened at a Time When There Was Great Turmoil
I prayed to our Lord for distress caused by war and for the many sins of the world. And our Lord answered and said: "The stink of sins nauseates me from the abyss of earth to the heavens. If it were possible, they would drive me out. Sins once did drive me out; then I came in humility and served the world until my death. Now nothing like that can ever happen again. Now because of sin I must sometimes bring my justice into play."
"Dear Lord, what then should we poor wretches do?"
Our Lord said: "You should humble yourselves under the restless hand of God almighty and fear him in all your actions. I shall yet free my people from all distress; they are my friends. Prayer in common appeases my heart. I shall show how I am disposed. I hear with pleasure the prayers of religious people who mean it from the heart": Our help is in the name of the Lord. Praise the Lord all ye nations. And the Son is glorified. The kingdom of the world. My heart leapt up. Whom I saw. Glory be to the Father and the Son."
"Lord heavenly Father, accept your service and your praise from your downcast children and free your people from this present distress and release us all from all our bonds except from the bonds of love. May they never be taken from us!"
11. How Our Lord Was Seen Looking Like a Worker
Our Lord showed me an allegory that he realized in me and still does. I saw a poor man get up from the ground. He was clothed in poor linen cloth like a worker. In his hands he had a carrying frame. On it lay a burden similar to the earth. I said: "My good man, what are you carrying?"
"I am carrying," he said, "your sufferings. Turn your will toward suffering; lift, and carry."
And the person said: "Lord, I am so poor that I do not have anything."
Our Lord said: "This is what I taught my disciples when I said: `Blessed are the poor in spirit.'12 This is the case when a person can do nothing but would like to-that is spiritual poverty."
The person: "Lord, if it is you, turn your face toward me so that I can recognize you."
And our Lord said: "Recognize me within."
The soul: "Lord, if I were to see you in the midst of thousands, I would easily recognize you." My heart turned me within into a guard and I did not dare dispute with him that it was he. So I said: "Dear Lord, this burden is too heavy."
And our Lord said: "I shall put it so close to me that you can carry it quite well. Follow me and see how I stood on the cross in the sight of my heavenly Father, and remain like that."
She said: "Lord, give me your blessing for it."
"I bless you without ceasing. There will be good help for your sufferings."
"Lord, help in this all those who willingly suffer torment for love of you."
12. How a Person Should Resist Vain Honor and Temptation
Whenever a person thinks well of himself, vain honor immediately leaps forth out of a corner of the human heart along with sinful desire and tries to sprawl out into the five senses. Then one should take oneself in hand and instantly beat one's breast in humble fear and bless oneself with the sign of the holy cross. Then it will immediately disappear, as if it had never existed. I in my wretchedness have often had this experience. One should do this same thing the minute evil thoughts come shooting in. They, too, disappear because of the power of the holy cross-if one is really sorry for them.
13. How Our Lord Was Seen Looking Like a Pilgrim
I, a poor unworthy person, shall disregard myself and tell what I have seen and heard in God. One night I saw our Lord standing there in the likeness of a pilgrim. He acted as if he had been trudging through all of Christendom. I fell at his feet and said: "My dear pilgrim, where are you coming from?"
He said: "I'm coming from Jerusalem." By that he meant Christianity. "And I have been driven from my shelter. The heathens do not acknowledge me, Jews do not want me, Christians attack me."
Then I prayed for Christianity. And our Lord made clear in fine detail his innocence regarding the great shame that he suffers from Christianity and explained how much good he has done for Christianity from the beginning and how he has labored for Christians and day after day still searches for ways to pour his grace into them.
Then our Lord again complained and said: "People drive me from the shelter of their heart with their selfishness, and when I find no room in them, I let them be in their selfishness. And when they die I judge them as I then find them to be."
Then I prayed for the convent: "Dear Lord, do not let them perish."
["I shall let no one perish."]" "I shall put a light in their cemetery. In it they shall know themselves."
14. God's Choosing and Blessing
Another night, while I was at prayer and filled with longing and oblivious of myself, I became aware of our Lord. He was standing in the cemetery and had the whole community before him lined up according to when they had entered the convent. And our Lord said to them: "I have chosen you. If you choose me, I shall give you something."
Then I said: "Lord, what shall you give them?"
And he said: "I shall make of them on earth shining mirrors, so that all who see them shall recognize their life in them. And in heaven I shall make them radiant mirrors, so that all who look upon them will know that I have chosen them." Then our Lord stretched forth his hand and gave them his blessing saying: "I bless you with myself. Choose me in all your thoughts."
The ones who choose our Lord in all their thoughts are those blessed who praise our Lord fittingly.
Then I said: "They are going to ask me in what form and fashion I saw you."
And he said: "There are some among them who know me."
15. How a Person Who Loves Truth Should Pray
The person who loves truth likes to pray thus: "Ah, dear Lord, grant me and help me that I always seek you in a holy manner with all my five senses in all things, for I have chosen you in preference to all lords and all sovereigns as Bridegroom of my soul. Grant me also, Lord, that I might find you with all my longing, burning or spent though it be. I desire also that I may enjoy you with the flowing love of all your gifts. Give me, Lord, abundantly of your outflowing, that it fill my heart and mind so that pain, scorn, and bitterness may ever feel pleasant to me. Grant me that it may ever turn out that way for me through your favor, generous God; now grant me this. Help me also, Lord, to keep you by giving up completely my own will according to your desire. Then I would never, ever lose that love that never ceases to burn. Amen."
16. How a Person Spoke and Prayed
For a long time a person desired more than all gifts and suffering that God release her soul with a holy end. And our Lord said: "Wait for me."
The person said: "Dear Lord, I cannot control my longing; I would so dearly like to be with you."
Our Lord said: "I longed for you before the beginning of the world. I long for you and you long for me. Where two burning desires meet, there love is perfect."
17. How Knowledge Speaks to the Conscience
Knowledge said to the conscience: "No matter how much people despise you and inflict suffering upon you, nevertheless stand pure in God."
Conscience: "Lady Knowledge, you have put it very well. To feel comfortable in all kinds of trouble a person must have a humble heart."
Knowledge: "Lady Conscience, you have such a fine mirror in which you frequently examine yourself very meticulously. This14 must indeed be the living Son of God with all his works. It cannot be that you are so wise by some other means."
Conscience: "Lady Knowledge, when I examine myself in it, I experience both pleasure and pain. Pleasure, because God comes to me as a flowing goodness; pain, because I am so feeble in good works."
Knowledge: "Lady Conscience, in all things you prefer God's will and God's glory to your own benefit for body or soul. You are hell for the devil and heaven for God. To what can one compare you?"
Conscience: "Lady Knowledge, everything I have from God was given me on loan, so that with it I might gain praise and glory for him and for my own benefit as well. For if I am to pay him back, I shall certainly need his grace."
Knowledge: "Lady Conscience, you are very much fettered by the sins of the world, and the imperfections of religious people cause you much heartache. They have freedom of choice to go to heaven or to hell or to a long stay in purgatory. That is a heavy burden for you."
Conscience: "Lady Knowledge, I do not complain because I am met with dislike or because I have days of suffering. Rather, I feel sorrow for the sins of the world just as I do for my own. Suffering cleanses the body of sin and sanctifies the soul in God. This is why we joyfully stand ready for its command."
Knowledge: "Lady Conscience, the well-intentioned high and mighty in the world offer up to God their possessions and their alms. Religious people offer their flesh and blood in his service, offering up to God, above all things, their own will in obedience. That weighs more, that has greater value."
Conscience: "Lady Knowledge, that is not enough. If we want to enjoy God in the heights, we must have the crown of humility and pure chastity, from birth or chosen later, and the pinnacle of love before all else."
This same delightful garment is worn by the Holy Trinity: the Father-the pinnacle of love; the Son-pure, humble chastity that he imparted to all his chosen ones; the Holy Spirit-on fire with love for us in all our good actions in true humility.
Knowledge: "Lady Conscience, steadfastness in good things: that is a love that toils. One cannot do without it if one wants to possess with God the highest honor, both here and in his eternal realm. Happy the person who here strives for it."
18. Suggestions for the Seven Hours15 for Honoring the Passion of Our Lord
At matins:"
Remember, dear Lord, that I must carry out your holy will to a good end in all I do and leave undone in my whole life to honor your Holy Trinity and for all those who are with me and in your name are your friends and mine.
At prime:
0 wretched shame, 0 dreadful pain that killed your glorious body and sweet heart. Help me, dear Lord, that I can and shall make the best of being despised and of all my interior suffering in your love, as it may please you in your eternal glory.
At terce:
O heavy burden, 0 wretched weight that you carried for us, Lord, under your cross! Carry us, Lord, through all our distress into eternal life.
I commend to you, Lord, my soul at my final end, that I may unceasingly and forever more be united with you just as your heavenly Father was and is. Grant this to me and to all who love you faithfully.
I beseech you that my five senses may and shall constantly rejoice in the bloody lance and in the wound of your heart, and that my lonely soul shall eternally rejoice therein, along with those for whom I shall and want to pray according to Christian practice. Amen.
Fulfill now, Lord, your prayers in us and sanctify us in truth, and give us the depths of all humility in which we may bow low beneath all creatures, since creatures resist someone who does not do as we do. Grant us, Lord, the breadth of all generosity, and that we, for love of you, fulfill willingly the rule of our order; and give us, Lord, the heights of your love that it may preserve us pure in you and uncorrupted by all earthly things. Amen.
19. The Greeting of Our Lady
20. How One Should Pray the Ave Maria to Our Lady
Hail, celestial Empress, Mother of God and the dear love of my heart. Receive, lady, your Ave Maria today as praise and honor for the blissful sight of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which is wonderfully unconcealed and opened to the virginal maternal countenance, filled with all happiness. Ali, lady, remember all my longings and all my prayers, all my torments and all my distress and all my interior suffering,
my honor, my soul, and my final end, when I leave this deplorable exile. I commend all of this ever and again to your motherly faithfulness and your maidenly honor and your womanly goodness and, in addition, I commend all those with me who are my friends and yours in the name of God almighty, my dearest Lady, Mary, noble Empress!
21. How One Should Examine One's Heart Before Going to God's Tablet'
You" want to have instruction from me, but I myself am uneducated. What you are searching for you can find a thousand times better in your books.
Whenever I, in my unworthiness, am about to go up and receive the body of our Lord, I examine the countenance of my soul in the mirror of my sins. There I see myself as I lived, as I am now living, and as I shall live in the future. In this mirror of my sins I see nothing but alas and woe. Then I cast my face to the ground and weep plaintively, if I can, because eternal incomprehensible God is so kind that he wants to bow down to the filthy puddle of my heart. Then I call to mind that injustice it would be fairer if one were to drag my body to the gallows, like a thief who had stolen from his rightful lord the precious treasure of purity, which God gave me in holy baptism.
If a person did not confess a sin and has no intention of confessing it, he should not receive God's body.
22. Praise of the Heavenly Father
It is well for me that I praise you, God, all ways for your noble goodness, that you have chosen me for your holy service. Sanctify my heart and mind, that I might receive all your gifts with holy inwardness and might remain with you in joy.
23. How One Should Thank the Son
It is well for me to thank you, imperial Son of God. I shall thank you always that you took me, in the world, out of the world. Your holy pain that you suffered for my sake is mine. All that I ever suffer I want to give to you in return. Even though this is an unequal bargain, it nevertheless makes my soul free. Keep me always in your favor, so that you may be praised forever. Jesus, my dearly Beloved, loosen my bonds; let me remain with you.
The Flowing Light of the Godhead Page 25