by Mark Eller
Chapter 7— Nursemaid
Thump, drag, thump, drag, thump, drag.
“Berferd is almost useless. There must be some way I can get some other help.” Phrandex reached the rock wall of the nursery and turned around to pace the other way.
Swoosh. Thump, drag, thump, drag, thump, drag. Chomp!
Painfully wincing, Phrandex looked down at the teething demon locked securely around his leg. Drool coated the black and copper colored scales on the baby’s face. The devil smiled at his young charge. “By the Dark Lord, you are a cute one! But there are just too many of you.”
Phrandex turned his attention back to pacing. The child mewled and hissed and began dragging itself up Phrandex’s leg. Long, scaly arms rasped against his upper thigh as the child pulled itself up to the older devil’s waist. It found a soft spot on Phrandex’s hip and sank its fangs into him.
Phrandex winced again. He didn’t mind the teething so much, just, of late, so many new demons were being born lately. He couldn’t take care of them all, especially when the new babies started teething about the time the older ones decided they were ready for solid food. Every inch of his six-foot frame was often covered in biting, hissing— and most often angry— demon babies. Of late, it had become so bad he barely kept things under control. If he were not careful he would eventually lose one of the little demons into the belly of several others.
Phrandex shuddered at the thought. If he were to lose one, Athos, the lesser lord of Hell, would personally see to tearing his scales off one by one until he was a bloody mass of exposed tissue. Athos would then allow Phrandex’s scales to re-grow and do it all again. He might even invite their shared father, Zorce, to join in. Neither of the hellgods would tolerate a hint of a delay to their planned takeover of the upper world.
“What is it those humans use to take care of their young?” Phrandex mused. “Milk maids? No, no. I’ve had one of those before.” He grunted. “Taste nothing like milk. Hmm. And maids clean. What was that confounded name again? I know it has something to do with a human woman.”
The baby climbed onto to Phrandex’s back and clawed its way up to his horns. Phrandex sighed at his young half-brother. “Orloc, please go to sleep. I need to think, and you’re not helping.”
“I’ll take him.”
Phrandex whirled around, accidentally flinging the baby from his head. Inertia carried the demon across the cave and into the arms of the similian standing in the doorway. He laughed nervously. “Nice catch.”
Scowling, Sulya’s skin turned dark magenta. Two cat-like eyes glared at him as she cuddled the demon close to her chest. She was tall and lithe, and had no need to fear the little demon’s bite because she was dressed in black battle armor. “Careful Phrandex. We’re trying to get you noticed by Athos in a good way.”
Nodding foolishly, Phrandex bowed furiously at the woman. Sulya deserved respect. After all, she served the father of Hell, Zorce, as his general and was considered a nasty bit of work by most of hellkind even though she was not, technically, one of them. “My apologies, my lady. My apologies.” Phrandex hated bowing to the similian. It was demeaning. He was a half-blood devil, a tough as hell being, and she was nothing but weak flesh and blood. But Zorce needed his weapons, and Sulya was his most cunning tool. Not to mention she was not only Orloc’s mother, but Phrandex’s as well.
The baby nuzzled her armor for a place to gnaw. Phrandex thought about warning her Orloc was teething, but he needed some relief. Besides, if the child did manage to bite through the armor Phrandex would enjoy hearing his mother scream. The sound of strained vocal chords often helped him think, and her screams would be more pleasant to hear than most.
To Phrandex’s displeasure the child only nuzzled her. After long moments of cooing, a detestable humanoid trait, Sulya hugged Orloc before walking across the room and placing him in his crib. Asleep.
Phrandex scowled. “How did you do that?”
“I’m its mother, idiot.” Sulya smiled fondly down at her offspring and gently stroked his head. When the baby gurgled, Sulya smiled wider and then turned to sneer at Phrandex. “Not much of a nursemaid, are you?”
Nursemaid! That was what he needed! Yes! Phrandex smiled broadly and shook his head. “No, General. I’m not, but I’ll soon find somebody who is.”