Misconstrued (Mistaken)

by Pixie Unger

  “Being alone is … lonely,” Tybalt whispered.

  “Yeah, that too,” I agreed. I turned to see him still sitting where I left him on the couch. He wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at the now-frosted front window. “Can you tell me why you— that is, the orcs— came here? Iago … didn’t tell me why, he distracted me instead.”

  Tybalt groaned and covered his face with his hands. “We didn’t want war.”

  “Then why invade?” I tried not to sound bitter, but it wasn’t working.

  He looked at me sharply, “Not invade. Came to visit. Share technology. Made trades.”

  I snorted in disbelief. “You came in prison ships! That isn’t a visit!”

  “They didn’t think we would live. We got here. Humans shot at us first!” he protested. “Wanted to help. Then you … broke. Everything went wrong. You shoot us. You shoot each other. You hurt each other. No food, no water, not safety. Didn’t expect to have to feed and care for all of you. Trying hard to keep you safe! So hard! But so many humans and so many dead.”

  I swallowed, “How many dead?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. Half?”

  “Jesus!”

  He made eye contact then, looking sad. “Maybe more. So many! I didn’t want this! I didn’t think this was going to be.” He stopped and shook his head.

  Romeo spoke from the hallway, his raspy voice making me jump, “We didn’t know. Don’t know how to take care. Get it wrong. Humans lie, to us and to others. Food books, wrong, Medicine books, wrong. Talking books, wrong. Still trying to help. Trying to help you, Mina.”

  “Are you supposed to be up yet?” I asked, nervously.

  He shook his head a little, making the marks on his neck pull awkwardly.

  I winced. “That looks like it hurts.”

  “But you can talk to me,” he croaked as a counterpoint.

  I sat, staring at my hands clenched tight in fists held in my lap. Half the world’s population was dead and Tybalt just said that like it was nothing.

  “How many orcs died?” I mumbled.

  “Not as many,” Tybalt admitted. “We didn’t kill each other.”

  “Except for the ones Iago hunts,” Romeo added.

  I shivered. “I need to go find clothes.”

  They shared a look.

  “What?” I asked, just feeling weary.

  Suddenly, neither of them wanted to make eye contact.

  I closed my eyes. “Just tell me. Should I be worried?”

  “No,” Romeo growled firmly.

  I nodded before I opened my eyes and went back to my room to find clothes.

  I could hear them growling at each other through the walls, but had no idea what they were saying.

  ----

  Erika turned up with breakfast burritos and a huge grin that said she had made them herself. They were pretty good, even without the bacon or sausage.

  “Oh my god!” she agreed. “I know! But who even knows how to make bacon or breakfast sausage anymore?”

  I nodded. Eggs, peppers, tomatoes, and onion were all good, but none of them took that much processing. “Where did you get the wraps?” I asked.

  “I made them!” she said proudly.

  “Huh.” I thought of what Mac had said earlier. “So … how was it?”

  “Not hard, I just made naan.”

  “That wasn’t what I mean,” I replied with a wink.

  “Oh!” Erika blushed. “Um …. I have no complaints. Other than, how did you know?”

  “Mac said something,” I admitted.

  “How did Mac know?” she demanded.

  I just shrugged and finished my last bite of breakfast. “Are you going to keep him?”

  She blinked then frowned, “Why do people keep asking me that?”

  “I think it’s because they don’t expect us to,” I suggested. “Mine seem kind of … insecure?”

  Erika looked thoughtful as she ate. “I can see that. Yeah. I’m keeping Lucky for now. I mean, like a boyfriend. I’m not thinking about marriage or anything.”

  I nodded.

  “How about you? Are you getting—”

  “No,” I interrupted, firmly.

  Erika blinked, then giggled. “Are you getting used to yours?”

  “Oh. Um, yeah. I guess.” I thought some more. She passed me some apple slices. “Romeo slept in my bed last night.”

  “Is that why Iago tried to rip out his throat?” Erika marvelled.

  Now it was my turn to blush. “No. That was something else. Mac operated to change his vocal cords,” I admitted.

  “Huh.” We sat in silence for a moment before she added, “That takes some commitment.”

  I turned to look out the window. Romeo and Tybalt were sitting on the front step, watching the street with Lucky, like husbands banished to the benches at the mall while their wives shopped.

  “I suppose it does,” I agreed.

  ----

  It was like being called into the principal’s office. Largely because we had literally been called into the school’s actual principal’s office to talk to the warden. Or at least the guy in change. I wasn’t even going to pretend I understood how the orcs’ internal ranking system worked.

  He looked at us while absentmindedly tugging on his right tusk. I gave Erika a side eye, only to realize she was watching Lucky.

  “You!” he announced, pointing at Erika and making us both jump. “You should be relocated to a better facility.”

  Now she looked at me nervously. My heart leapt to my throat.

  Lucky took a step closer to her. My four just shuffled nervously.

  “But, it has been suggested,” the warden continued, with a glare at Iago, “that you will be unwilling to leave your friend and it is unwise to disturb social bonds.”

  I just waited to see what was going to happen. He wasn’t talking to me and I didn’t feel like I had any agency in this. Erika looked at me. I shrugged.

  “I want to stay social,” she hazarded.

  He nodded.

  Lucky cleared his throat. “We could all move.”

  The boss guy just glared at me. I squared my shoulders but didn’t look directly at him. He was still only interested in talking to Erika though. “Do you know about Earthships?” he asked, his voice low, like he didn’t want to be overheard.

  “What?” Erika blinked. “I don’t want to go on a ship!”

  The warden groaned and rubbed his forehead, “What do you want for staying social?”

  She was looking at me too, now. “Can I ….” she trailed off and chewed on her lower lip for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and blurted out, “Can I have Siobhan Hall?”

  I gasped, “What?” even as the warden demanded the same thing.

  She squirmed and shrugged. “It’s a big stone building. With a walled orchard. I think the kitchen is big enough to feed … all of us. Me and Lucky and Mina and them.” She waved a hand airily at my four.

  The warden was back to his eyebrow pulling. He narrowed his eyes at her. Erika, for her part, was wearing her ditzy “dealing with assholes” smile, giving every impression of idiotic symplicity.

  I hated to be the one to throw cold water on her idea. I really did. If it had worked, it would have been like going home. Or as close as possible, under the circumstances. But I didn’t want orcs descending on the place. I coughed awkwardly. “There aren’t any beds at Siobhan Hall. And I can’t imagine that the whole place hasn’t been looted.”

  “That isn’t a concern,” the warden snapped.

  I looked over at my four. Iago slowly shook his head, I swear he was silently pleading with me to shut up. I looked at Mac, who just looked worried. He wasn’t normally the worried-looking one. Romeo or Tybalt, sure. Even Iago, who was perpetually concerned I was going to kick him out. The only time Mac had ever been anything less than fully confident was when he thought I was asking him about why he was in prison. They wanted me to be quiet, but none of them looked confident in what w
as going on either.

  “Pick two more,” the warden ordered.

  Erika and I both stared at him in confusion.

  He tilted his head like a dog and considered us. “Pick two more,” he repeated. Then he pointed at me. “She has four. You need at least two more. Build a sustainable household and I will arrange a house for you to hold.”

  The colour drained from her face. I reached over and squeezed her hand; I was pretty sure I knew exactly what she was feeling. “You already have two living with you. Would you take them with you?” I suggested.

  “That’s it?” Erika asked carefully. “I just need to bring them along?”

  “You would have to name them. We have learned you don’t consider others to be people unless you know their names,” he explained.

  “What kind of bu—” I started, then let the curse die on my lips as I was suddenly the focus of his attention again.

  Erika looked at me; I looked at her.

  “What happens,” she asked, slowly, like she was talking to a deranged person, “if I don’t like them once I get to know them?”

  “Then,” he responded, equally slowly, like he was talking to an idiot, “you find someone else to take their place.”

  I looked from one to the other, then over my shoulder at my four. “Just because I’m learning that there are a lot of significant cultural differences here,” I hazarded, “what is the point of insisting we have a large household?”

  They all looked at me like I had asked why two plus two equals four and not five.

  Erika chimed in with, “Yeah. I don’t get it either.”

  That let me relax a little but made every orc in the room tense. It was not comforting to watch the guy who was supposed to be in charge of us all gaping like a fish, unsure of how to respond to that.

  “If you claim us, we are your responsibility. It is fewer that he needs to worry about,” Iago explained.

  “Any one of you is twice as big as I am,” I pointed out. “How am I supposed to keep you in line? What happens to me if you run amok?”

  “You don’t need to keep us in line,” he grumbled. “We will do that for each other, trying to win attention.”

  Erika and I both turned to stare at the warden, who shrugged and nodded.

  “Somehow,” she hesitantly said, “that doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better. But I don’t want to stay here.”

  That made the old guy finally stop staring at us.

  “Yeah, okay. Those two, too. Um… Rosencrantz and Guildenstern—” Erika suggested.

  I choked a little. “Why?” I demanded

  “What?” Erika just looked confused. “We’re working with a theme here, Mina. I’m just going along with it and those are the only two I remember.”

  I waved it away. “Nevermind.”

  The orcs were growling amongst themselves. The warden waved and a three-dimensional map of the city appeared on his desk. “Where is it that you want to live?”

  Erika pointed.

  “There are other buildings over here,” I said, pointing to what had been one of the more expensive neighbourhoods before they arrived. “Those houses are big enough to have a bedroom for each of us. Sioban Hall is a lot smaller than that.”

  The warden shook his head. “We like settlements closer to the river. That will take some time to arrange.”

  The other orcs nodded the way soldiers might salute and then politely herded us out of the office.

  “That was weird,” Erika muttered.

  “Yeah,” I agreed.

  Erika looked over at Lucky and asked, “Now what?”

  “Now we find things for home,” he replied.

  “How can we do that,” I asked, “if we don’t know the condition of the building?”

  The orcs all looked at me. Then they looked at Iago. Iago tensed, then nodded and left.

  I had to know. “What was that?”

  “He go look,” Tybalt translated. “We go eat.”

  “Should meet Jolene,” Lucky suggested.

  “Who is Jolene?” Erika demanded.

  There was a collective growl of orcish discussion. “Not important,” Mac explained. “You know where you want.”

  I knew the answer. I hated the answer. I had to ask the question anyway. “Why is Iago the one to go check out the place?”

  “Because he’s a hunter?” Erika replied, like it was obvious.

  But none of the orcs could meet my gaze.

  “Or is it because he thinks he’s disposable?” I asked.

  “Don’t be stupid!” Erika snapped. “Of course he isn’t!”

  “No,” I agreed, “he isn’t. I’m just not entirely convinced he knows that.”

  ----

  I cornered Tybalt on my way to bed. Well, I say cornered, but what I mean is pull him away from the others and into the hallway while trying to avoid Romeo’s hopeful expression.

  “Is Iago going to be back tonight?” I asked, even as I realized it was a bad idea to ask.

  “No. Not next night. Day after that, maybe.”

  I frowned at that. The building was less than five miles away, and it was in a burnt out part of the city. What would take thirty-six hours to do there?

  “You are unhappy,” he murmured.

  I shook my head, no, but what I said was, “I like it when people include me in plans that affect me.”

  “You want Iago to sleep with you? We get him back,” Tybalt offered.

  “What?” I demanded.

  “Romeo sleep with you last night, now you want Iago,” Tybalt replied patiently.

  “It was just sleep!” I protested. Then I looked up into a face that hadn’t internalized the euphemism. He was just calmly watching and waiting for me to start making sense. “You know you’re extra scary because I don’t know what you did to get sent here,” I snapped. Then I immediately felt guilty as he looked worried.

  He ignored that and replied with, “Want Romeo again?”

  “I don’t know what I want,” I grumbled. “A better bra. My chest hurts.” That didn’t help, now he looked really worried.

  “Get Mac?” he suggested.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do with you, Tybalt. You flat out warned me that you get possessive, and I don’t know what horrible thing you did to get sent here.”

  His face scrunched up in disgust, his lips curling into a snarl. I took a step back. He leaned in really close and whispered in my ear, “I wasn’t sent.”

  “What?” I demanded.

  “Not sent,” he repeated. “Sneaked.” Then he pressed a finger to his lips and shushed.

  I stared at him in horrid fascination. “Why?” I whispered.

  He shrugged. “Angry mens hunting me. I sneaked. I hided.” Then he burst into such a happy grin, that I tried to take a step back only to slam into the wall right behind me. “I met you. Best day ever!”

  I snorted in disbelief and tried to adjust my coveralls over my aching chest. What was going on with me? My boobs only ever hurt when I had PMS, and that hadn’t happened since shortly after the food riots started.

  Until whatever wonder drug had been attached to my belly.

  Shit.

  “Maybe I should talk to Mac.”

  ----

  Mac had given me a pain killer in patch form and was currently sitting on the floor next to my bed rubbing my back. Romeo and Tybalt were sitting on the other side of the bed watching.

  “You should go to bed,” I grumbled.

  They all shook their heads.

  “Damnit.” I didn’t like this. “Okay, let’s all be rational. I’m not going to be magically not cranky in the morning. You should set up a shift rotation or something,” I pointed out.

  Romeo stood up and went out into the hallway. There was much grunting and snarling. Mac was the only one who stayed.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked nervously.

  He hummed his agreement. “Tybalt next, then Romeo, then Iago will be back. We will take
care and turns.”

  I wanted to point out that’s not how that expression works, but Mac was humming and his hand was huge and warm as it rubbed my back. Sleep claimed me before I could muster the argument.

  ----

  The thing that none of those zombie movies ever talked about was having your period during an apocalypse. I mean, I get it. It just always made me laugh. We can dismember humans on TV, but god forbid we let women be portrayed accurately. Like the blue in pad commercials. Girl, if your body is leaking blue, you have bigger issues than what brand of pantyliner you’re wearing.

  Nothing in my life had prepared me for the reality of a post-civilization cycle.

  It’s amazing what you can get used to when you have to.

  Currently, I was getting used to Romeo rubbing my feet as I was grumpy about missing yoga in the enclosure. I don’t know what happened, but they were suddenly not letting me or Erika go back in there. It was worrying. Had something happened? What had I missed?

  “Earth to Mina?”

  I blinked. “What?

  Erika shook her head. “You’re spacing out on me again. What’s up?”

  I shook my head. “I’m just wondering how much of the city, outside of this neighbourhood, is left.”

  Erika sighed and looked over at where Lucky was standing, basically in the corner. He was always watching her with the same nervous expression mine had. “I don’t know. Not much, I would bet. It’s been a few years. I have no idea how you lasted so long on the outside, to be honest.”

  “I was careful,” I replied. “And I was lucky. I found a space to hunker down and avoid people.” There didn’t seem much to say to that. The clothes had been the hardest part. Winters got some snow, but weren’t impossible to survive. I had just made like a bear and tried to put on body fat in the fall. There was still fish and rabbits to catch in the winter. Mostly, there was a lot of holding still and trying to stay warm.

  The Easter egg hunt took on an entirely different meaning when I would start looking for eggs in the spring.

  “But they still found you,” Erika pointed out.