“What are you trying to say Steven? That if I took this drug that I would’ve caught you? That’s absurd, and you are off your rocker you know that?”
Steven became a little more agitated from arguing his standpoint. He said,
“Really is it so crazy that you stared at those pictures of that family all those nights when you couldn’t sleep. Staring into their lifeless eyes, haunting you, begging you to come save their damned souls but you were already so close weren’t you? It was like staring through a glass mirror of the image. You could feel it, you could see it, but you could never truly touch it could you? When you did dream the nightmares would take over to the point where you didn’t want to sleep did you? Ah yes see you truly are a rare breed Jonny boy, a rare breed indeed. You think how we think, you see how we see, hell you can even feel how we feel. That’s what made you so good at what you do. You are always walking that very fine line. You teeter totter over that edge once in a while don’t you? “
Jonathon stood up and pushed himself out of the chair. He pointed his finger in Stevens face as he said,
“That may be, but there is a big difference between you and I Steven. I never actually killed anyone. That area is black and white!”
Steven became suddenly frustrated and slammed his fists down on the steel table. The anger that flowed through him was so vitally furious, that he was practically frothing from the mouth. He roared back in response,
“You still don’t get it don’t you? It’s not about the kill. It’s about where your mind can go at that point. How you can learn from it. You of all people should be able to understand this. It is purely on how we work on the point of learning from our mistakes. We can practice it, harness it. Make it better!”
Jon yelled back,
“Make exactly what better? So that you can kill easier, more quickly, more efficiently? I already know about that Steven. I have been tracking down monsters like you all of my life. ”
“Aha, so you do understand what I am talking about. See she was my first and to be honest I will always hold her true to my heart. But she definitely wasn’t my best. I just broke my cherry and I had so much to learn Jonny boy. All I needed was that first leap of faith and then, then I was into a new realm, a new era, a new chapter in my life…….I was awakened.”
“So what happened after that?”
Steven placed his hands over his face as he laughed and said,
“You know I saw the rage in your eyes when you grabbed me. I can feel it stirring inside of you just like us.”
Steven then slowly moved his tongue around his lips. He smiled a sickening smile that made Jon’s stomach flip into a putrid sense of horror. Jonathon looked into his eyes and asked,
“What do you mean us?”
Steven ignored the question and continued,
“You actually enjoyed releasing that anger didn’t you? Are you that insane like us? Do you enjoy inflicting pain as much as receiving it? Without pain how can we tell the difference to what reality is and what isn’t? Don’t we pinch ourselves to see if we are dreaming? Don’t we relish in the fact that pain is just the receptors to our body, telling us something is wrong. In the end pain is just an illusion my friend. It’s nothing more than a feeling you get when you receive a hug from a loved one. You have much to learn Jonny boy.”
Jon then flipped the tape out of the recorder. He slipped another blank one inside and proceeded to hit record once again. This was getting way too deep. Not only was he describing what he was doing when he killed his victim, but he was actually articulacy explaining why. Plus he was referring to himself sometimes as in more than one. Using we instead of I or me. Jon was scared for the first time in his career. It actually was not only intriguing, but quite fascinating. He could somewhat start to understand where his mind frame was coming from; to understand his perspective and go into the mind of a psychopath. That sheer thought that he was giving into what Steven Willis desired made him shiver. The cold shudder ran down his spine, gripping his very soul.
Chapter 5
“I pondered for months about my first kill. She haunted me in my dreams constantly. I would go embrace the scenario in my mind over and over again. It was the kind of pure bliss that I couldn’t wait to indulge myself with my secret. It was sheer torture just plunging myself into my thoughts. At first I thought I was sick for feeling the way I felt. For doing what I did, but I learned to overcome my fear. We all learn to overcome our fears. Mine were just a little bit more dark then others. Most people have fears of learning how to ride their bike for the first time, maybe the first time they took a plunge into the deep end of the swimming pool. Mine was already overcome. They say that the only thing you have to fear is fear itself. That is a bunch of bullshit. It is constantly around us, in our minds, in our thoughts. Haunting the very essence of who we are. It keeps us sharp, keeps us safe, or so we like to think.
We decided to move on from my hometown at the age of eighteen. I completed high school with mediocre marks. I could have done better, but saw no real point in trying. What they were teaching seemed to be no use for me. I decided to enroll in college with never the real intention of going. Before we left I knew I had to go back to what made me. We had to not only say goodbye but evolve once again. It had been over a year at this point and I felt the rage at the pit of my stomach as I approached the grave site in the woods. We dug her up and already her flesh was starting to decay. I then felt this sudden urge that I had to keep something of hers. I decided to remove her mandible. With a knife this was quite the task. The jaw is stronger than people may think. The muscle tissue was tough, the smell was putrid, yet the stench was intoxicating. The inside of the body was rotting away and the blood no longer had any oxygen to what used to give that bright red. Now it was blackish green, thicker, along with the rotten flesh that was exposed from the wounds to the skull. I carved my way through and wrenched out the mandible and covered her back up. I was about to embark on something new.”
Jon sat back in his seat in awe thinking, there he goes again going back and forth from I, and then referring to himself as we. Detective Cratick replied,
“So you actually went back to the dump site a year later where you buried her. All because you wanted to take a piece of her with you? You actually cared for the memory that much that you needed a piece to remind you of that day.”
“Well yes, like I said we all have our trophies. I felt I needed her jaw. At the time I was so stupid. I didn’t know how to dispose of a body, let alone what to do with a souvenir so to speak. I was sloppy in that part, quite careless. I just didn’t know how to do things properly. However we all have to start out somewhere. With me I was no different, but the killing instinct that I had. Now that…. that was just second nature. Not many people can do what I did that day. It’s like finding something more than what is in yourself. Almost as if to say in a religious sense, a leap of faith. Once you take that first step there is no going back. It’s only a matter of time before it happens again. Trust me Jonny boy, the rage was turning, dormant, but always there. We have these instincts that can take us to places where we dare not know. Society just hides them, makes them…….disappear.”
Jon sat back in awe looking back down at the tape recorder to make sure it was still recording. He thought about Steven’s statement. He referred to himself as we again. He keeps jumping back from himself to as if he was speaking about two. Jon nervously leaned forward and said,
“Okay so what did you do next?”
Steven looked up for a moment to gain his train of thought and continued,
“So I packed my bags and moved out west to where the beaches were making my way towards BC. I decided to hitch hike. It was an adventure that I have been day dreaming of since that day I wanted to get out of North Bay, Ontario. The freedom of the open road called to me. The over satisfying feeling of no one knowing who you are; or what you’re capable of.”
Jon leaned forward in his chair and asked,
“Y
ou went on a hitch hiking killing spree? On your way to college for a summer road trip?”
Steven let out this playful laugh.
“Well when you put it that way, you make it sound so silly?”
“Really I make it sound silly? You are talking about killing people.”
“Well you may be right but none the less, doesn’t make it any less of an experience. I think you of all people will appreciate the flaws I have made to making it almost too easy.
We were on the road for four hours. Just a back pack, some jeans, white t shirt and sun glasses. It was June and quite hot. The road seemed to go on for hours on end and as I was saying I was embarking on my trip to British Columbia. The summer breeze that was flowing was so wonderful. The sun was beating down on my back and I was growing tired. The first car that pulled over was a man, and that was the last hitch hiker he was ever going to pick up. I introduced myself and he outreached his hand as I climbed into the truck.
“Name’s Mark. Nice to meet you Steven. Where ya headed?”
“Oh you know how it is, on my way to school. Decided to see the country before I started my first year.”
“Wow that sounds great man, what you think you’re going to be majoring in?”
Already my heart was pounding. I never anticipated to be picked up by a man, let alone a man the size of Mark. He was a big build, mid-thirties, decent shape. He looked like he could snap me like a twig if he really wanted to. I hesitated for the first time about my plan. I tried to calm myself down. Just focus Steven and this will all go more smoothly then you anticipated. He doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know what you’re capable of. To him you’re just some small town kid on his way to University. He doesn’t know that you have killed and tortured animals since the age of fifteen, let alone killing a girl by the age of sixteen. You have more experience in the past two years then his whole life. I replied,
“Ugh I’m not sure what I am going to major in yet. But I was thinking of taking something in anatomy? “
“Anatomy huh? You thinking of bein a doctor or something?”
“Like I said I haven’t really thought about it. I guess the human body just fascinates me.”
“Well good luck with that Steven I hope it works out for you.”
I thought to myself, Yeah good luck on that indeed. I am going to open you up and see what your anatomy looks like when I tear you apart. Steven said out loud,
“Thanks Mark. So why are you so dumb?”
Mark looked at Steven baffled and replied,
“What did you just say?”
We then lashed out with all the rage I had built up inside of me. I smashed Marks face off the steering column with enough force to break his nose. I repeatedly beat Marks head three or four times as the truck veered off the side of the road and onto the shoulder picking up speed. His foot was pressed down hard on the gas. I then quickly grabbed the steering wheel and made a hard right, slightly tipping the truck on two wheels. We wrenched the wheel to the left with a slight jerk simultaneously pulling the e break. The truck pitch pulled then slid to a screeching halt in the middle of the road.
Our heart was racing like a jack rabbit. The adrenaline rush was nothing like I had ever felt before. His hands were gripping so tight to the steering wheel that his knuckles went white. Mark let out a mournful groan as his eyes began to flutter open, another series of fists landed upon his face.
I knew we had to move quickly. I got out of the truck and took a glace around. No one had seen us. The road was still vacant with just Mark and me. I leaped out of the truck and ran around to open the driver side door. I leaned in and unbuckled him quickly. The dead weight of Mark was tremendous. Just pulling him out of the truck was like dragging a 200 pound boulder. As we grabbed under his arms Marks weight was more than I had anticipated. The body slipped through my fingers and he hit the pavement with a hard thud. I rolled my eyes and grabbed him by his legs, then dragged him down into the ditch. I then ran back towards the truck and drove it a few feet up the road to hide it on the dirt path.
Mark started to come to and was still trying to visually line up his surroundings. He was now in the woods lying on his back. He grabbed the side of his aching head that was still throbbing from the massive blows of Steven’s fists.
“What the hell happened?” he muttered.
“You had a bit of an accident. Don’t worry I made sure we got out safe.”
Mark then tried to stand up but realized the situation he was in. His hands were bound behind his back as well as his feet.
“What is going on here?”
“Well I’m sorry Mark, but you really shouldn’t pick up strangers on the side of the road. Never know what kind of psychos you will run into. Nowadays you just can’t be too careful you know.”
Steven then reached under his belt and pulled out a twelve inch buck knife, feeling up the side of the blade with his thumb as Mark cried out,
“Oh no, no, please don’t hurt me, I’ve got a wife, kids. Take all the money in my wallet and the truck. I won’t call the police.”
Steven had this hard, stern look across his face as he grimaced,
“You think this is about family or money? Oh no, no, trust me Mark, I know you won’t call the police. See out there in society, I’m just some little pip squeak of a kid that is just striving to get by.”
Steven then raised his voice to a bellowing yell that echoed throughout the forest disturbing the birds that took flight from the tree tops.
“BUT OUT HERE, I’M THE MASTER OF MY DOMAIN!
I don’t care about money, family or vehicles. Like I was saying, I want to learn a little bit more about the human anatomy.”
Steven then grabbed Mark by the back of his neck and through all of his weight into his stomach, wrenching and twisting the blade inward. He stared into Marks eyes as they widened in fear and agony. Steven then pulled out the blade and sliced upward towards the chest stopping at his rib cage.
“You know the abdominal area is the worst place to get stabbed Mark. It’s because you won’t bleed to death right away. Well not for a couple of hours at least. You can feel the most pain from that though can’t you?”
Mark let out a painful scream as he threw his head back. His breaths were becoming shorter and faster. Steven then wrenched the knife, twisting the blade while it scraped against his spleen.
“Do you know what fascinates me the most Mark? The purest of intentions is really not to just hurt or inflict pain on you. It is what is inside someone that really counts don’t you think? I don’t mean to be so ironic about it, but truly that is how I feel. See I have dissected and gutted enough animals in the past to know what will kill you right away. We are a lot like pigs you know. Our skin, the structure of the organs, almost everything genetically points us in that direction but yet we theorize that we come from apes. When you think about it, that is just a preposterous way of thinking?”
Mark let out a low agonizing whisper “Please, don’t do this.”
Steven looked at Mark with this kid like wonder in his eyes and started to jab and jive the knife into the bloody cavity of the open wound he had just created exposing the intestines.
“I just sliced into your spleen up in under your ribs.”
Then he slit the knife once again into Marks side.
“That piercing pain you feel right there. Yeah I just punctured your liver. But don’t worry I intentionally missed your portal vein, see I wouldn’t want you to bleed out so quickly. Did you know the human body can only lose up to two to three pints of blood then you pass out? Your body goes into shock and any more than that you die. Now where would the fun in that be? See it’s your eyes that I find so unique, so wondrous. It’s almost as if to say you are seeing god in colors for the first time. I think I might want to keep those now I mention it.”
Steven then grabbed Mark by the back of the head and lifted the knife under the eye. He grasped his hand across his face and pried open his eye lids. Mark started to shuffl
e and scream but Steven just grinned from ear to ear. He plunged the tip of the blade in under the eye and began to carve his way around the cornea. Blood started to seep and spurt out of the eye socket as he gave a tug on the optic nerve. He could feel the wet, slimy veins against his skin as he gently held up the eye in between his index and thumb to examine it.
“So beautiful isn’t it?”
He looked back down at Mark whom was now going into shock. He let out a sigh and exclaimed,
“Oh well, I guess I have had my fun for now. May as well put the pig out of his misery.”
He then slid the knife across his throat, exposing his jugular.
There was this uncertainty that overcame him as he dragged that body down into the dense forest ground. It wasn't guilt, but a new type of unfamiliarity that had overcome him. Normally it never started off like this. It was a built up pent up rage he could never describe. It made him more than just that unsettling nerve of anger. Something else stirred inside. Something, dark, twisted, torn and abused. It was a feeling he never had before. Hell to even feel something was normally a good thing. But this was different. He didn't feel satisfied with just the kill. The release wasn't there. He used to get it when he seen their eyes go dull and dim. But now there was that unsatisfied feeling that was underlying in the woodworks of his mind. It haunted at him, playing with his mixed emotions. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. Startled by this Steven dropped the body on the ground. He was so shaken up he stumbled a couple of steps back. What was this? A feeling? A mixed emotion drawn by a stranger? No it was more primal. This was a mark etched in his history and he knew it.
Profile of the Gemini Serial Killer Page 4