by Lili Zander
It would be so easy to seize that explanation. After all, who would know any different? The Okaki have lengthy lifespans, but anyone who laid eyes on me is long dead. Nobody alive would recognize me.
But as tempting as it is to run from my guilt, I can’t bring myself to lie to Lani. The words stick in my mouth. “No,” I force out. “It wasn’t First.” I breathe in the scent of her, one last time. “My orders were to destroy the LoreLords. To destroy their spawn, their temples, their seats of power, and their civilization.”
I make myself look at Lani. It doesn’t matter that I was acting under orders. Orders or not, I killed those people. I deserve every bit of the contempt she will have for me. “A thousand years ago, I destroyed the LoreLords, and Nestri became a part of the High Empire. I’m the Draekon Conqueror.”
17
Lani
For a minute, I’m so shocked that words escape me. Gervil said that the Draekon Conqueror destroyed Nestri. He had killed the LoreLords, torched their temples, and basically wiped out the Okaki civilization, all so that the Zorahn Empire could swoop in and take over.
“You killed thousands of Okaki?”
He sighs heavily. “Will you walk with me for a bit?”
It’s still chilly. The sun’s warmth hasn’t yet washed away the cold of the desert night, and now that I’m not pressed up against Ruhan’s body, I’m starting to wish for the warmth of Taen’s tavern again, and the soft comfort of my bed.
I’m rocked by Ruhan’s announcement, and I want to be alone with my thoughts. But I glance up at him and change my mind. There’s so much pain etched in his face. So much anguish.
He’s done some bad things in the past, that’s for sure. And he might be a bad person, though my heart isn’t ready for me to believe that. But I know one thing: I owe the cocky Draekon my life. After everything he’s done for me, the least I can do is listen.
I tuck my hands into my coat pockets. “Sure.”
We continue down the road. I have a million questions about Ruhan’s bombshell revelation, but I keep silent. Yes, I’m curious about the past, but satisfying my curiosity isn’t the priority right now.
“Eleven hundred years ago, the Zorahn Empire spanned about seven hundred worlds. It was big, but not enormous. It was a prosperous time for the High Empire. The Zorahn geneticists had conquered most of the diseases that affected the population. People lived long and healthy lives.”
“Except if you were Lowborn,” I interject acidly. I’ve learned some things about the Zorahn culture in my seven months outside of Earth, and their caste system is reprehensible. The Lowborn cannot become doctors, they cannot become scientists, and they are stuck, generation after generation, as laborers, all because of their blood status.
“Except if you were Lowborn,” he agrees. “The Zorahn obsession with blood purity is a fatal flaw, one that will eventually destroy the empire from within. You cannot withhold opportunity from the majority of your people without risking revolution.”
We pass a pair of Okaki guards, and I move closer to Ruhan, who senses my discomfort and puts his arm around my shoulder. “I know I’m being ridiculous,” I say once we’ve out of earshot. “The Okaki here haven’t given me any reason to be afraid of them, but…”
“It’s okay, Lani,” he murmurs, his voice caressing me with its warmth. “You spent three months in constant fear. Of course you’re wary. It’s a normal response.” His grip around me tightens. “Nestri is now home to many species, not just Okaki. Here, it’s considered uncivilized and savage to eat a sentient. The pirates are outcasts.” He flashes me a reassuring smile. “And I promise, I will protect you.”
I’ve never been able to resist him. Whenever Ruhan tells me I will be safe, my heart fills with certainty. It’s a powerful weapon, that smile.
“You were saying,” I prompt. “The Zorahn Empire was at peace.”
He doesn’t let go of me, but he seems to withdraw into himself. “The Empire was at peace, but threats were building against it. The Adrashians were much better at tech. Their ships were faster, their weapons more destructive, and they were bent on expansion. And the Makpi Alliance was growing quickly as well. The Empire had to respond.”
I’m not sure what any of this has to do with Ruhan being the Draekon Conqueror, but I don’t interrupt. Ruhan rarely answers a direct question, much less volunteer information. This conversation feels like a gift.
“Adrashians had tech, but we had genetics. The scientists had already dabbled in biological weapons, but as the threat from the Adrashian Federation grew, they got more ambitious. They needed soldiers.” He pauses for a long moment. “So, they made some.”
I give him a sharp look. “What do you mean, they made some?”
“They made the Draekons,” he replies, his voice matter of fact. “They made me.”
My mouth falls open. “What?” Once again, shock blankets me and robs me of speech. “How?”
I don’t understand what he’s saying. Is Ruhan a bot? He seems real enough to me. I poke tentatively at his muscled bicep, and then realize what I’m doing and snatch my fingers away, my cheeks going pink. “Sorry.”
He laughs. “As reactions go, yours is fairly mild.” His smile fades. “The scientists grew us in artificial wombs, manipulating the genes of the embryos until they were able to create the perfect soldier.” His lips twist in a bitter smile. “It was a race. Many scientists tried, because great glory awaited the one who succeeded. Irul’vi was the first to do it. She made six Draekons. She didn’t bother naming us; names were for people, and we were tools of war. I was Third.” He gives me a sidelong look. “You’re not running away screaming.”
I still don’t know what to say. I’m both horrified and fascinated by Ruhan’s story. “Is that a common reaction?”
“Sadly, yes.” He sounds resigned, not upset. “We were the first set of Draekons ever made,” he continues. “We were supposed to be a proof of concept, nothing more. But the commanders got greedy, so Irul’vi fitted us with controls to keep us obedient and sent us off to fight.”
“Controls?”
“The rathr,” he says. Before I can ask him what the word means, he elaborates. “It’s a parasite. I’m not a scientist, so the precise details are murky, but it is customized for each one of us. It warps our DNA and fills us with constant pain.” His expression is cold. “Irul’vi used the pain to control us.”
Fills, he said. In the present tense. “You’re still in pain? Even after a thousand years of stasis?”
“Yes,” he says. “Even now. Except when…” His voice trails away for a long moment. “Never mind. That’s not important right now.”
I notice the hesitation, but my focus is on his earlier sentence. “She used pain to control you? You’re saying she tortured you.”
He lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I could bear the pain if I had to. We all could. After all, we were built to withstand it. But none of us could see the others in agony.”
Oh God. They tortured his brothers to make him obey. I stare at the gorgeous Draekon with newfound respect. After everything he’s been through, it would be so easy for Ruhan to be bitter and uncaring, but he’s not. It would have been so easy for him to decline to find Mandy and me, but instead, he unstintingly put his life on the line for two strangers from a distant planet.
“Which brings me to Nestri.” Ruhan’s voice is flat. “A thousand years ago, Nestri’s mines were rich in cinnacar, a substance that made teams of soldiers perform better in simulations. But the LoreLords considered cinnacar sacred and wouldn’t trade with the Empire.” He grimaces. “The Empire wanted cinnacar. I was sent in with orders to kill the LoreLords, their spawn, and everyone who resisted. I did.”
A thought strikes me. “Hang on, if you killed the LoreLords and their spawn, who are the present-day LoreLords?”
“Oh, that.” He looks uncomfortable. “I had no choice but to kill the adults, but I couldn’t bring myself to kill the younglings. I’m assuming
these are their descendants.” His eyes meet mine. “Don’t make me a hero, Lani. I’m not. People fear me for a reason. I’m a killer.”
There’s so much pain in his gaze. “Are you?” I ask quietly. Ruhan’s determined to hate himself, but now that I’ve heard the whole story, I don’t. “Did you go off on a homicidal rampage and kill defenseless Draekons? Or did you just follow the orders you were given? You’re a soldier. You did what you were told to.”
“Is that an acceptable excuse?” he asks dryly. “Am I not responsible for my own actions?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m not a military lawyer. I teach kindergarten.” I take a deep breath and touch his arm. “You knew nothing but war. You were tortured until you obeyed, and you still saved the LoreLords’ children.” I stare into his green eyes. “I would have done anything to escape the scientists, Ruhan, and I would have done anything to escape Gervil. I’m not going to stand in judgment of you.”
“I don’t want your pity, lovely Lani.”
He’s so bleak, and I don’t know what to do. I desperately want to make him laugh and cheer him up, like he’s done for me so many times.
I stand up on tiptoe and brush a kiss across his chilled lips. “Good, because you’re not getting it,” I tell him. “I still think you’re too cocky for your own good, and if you don’t stop calling me by that annoying nickname, I’m going to punch you.”
He flashes me a grin. “Is that so?” he asks. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a size mismatch between us.”
Relief floods me. He’s smiling again. “I’m stronger than I look,” I tell him airily. “I’ll be fine.”
Sometime in the middle of our conversation, the sun has risen. I’m exhausted. “Shall we head back to our room?”
And then what?
The unspoken question hangs in the air, but neither of us broaches the subject.
Earlier this evening, before we were interrupted by Taen, I was ready to sleep with Ruhan. Now, after seeing this hidden side of him, after learning how much he’s gone through, I’m even more ready.
My face breaks into a yawn, and I smile ruefully. I’m definitely ready to sleep with him, but I might need a nap first. Otherwise, I’m set to do a repeat of last night, where I climaxed and fell asleep right away.
And that really wouldn’t be good.
18
Lani
“Hey.”
I squint my eyes open. The blinds are still drawn, and the room is dim. I’m draped all over Ruhan. I’ve sandwiched one of his legs between mine, and I’m using his shoulder as a pillow, and, oh dear oh dear, I’ve drooled.
Kill me now.
A slow smile breaks out on Ruhan’s face. “Hey. You hungry? It’s too late for the morning meal and too early for the afternoon one, but I’m sure we can persuade Taen into finding us something to eat.”
I’m sure we can too. This morning, when we’d returned to the inn, we’d found Taen in a tizzy. The village perimeter shields were malfunctioning, and no one was having any luck fixing them.
Ruhan found the problem in minutes, and he didn’t even need Blue, who is still hiding out of sight somewhere. The village has collectively decided that Ruhan is their new hero. He can ask for anything he wants, and he’ll get it.
Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes. “You look wide awake,” I accuse. “Have you been up long?”
“I went out an hour ago. They brought in Mardex. He’s responding to the healer’s treatments.” His lips quirk. “You were still sleeping when I got back, and I didn’t have the heart to wake you, so I decided I’d join you instead.”
He’s naked to the waist. I run my eyes over his muscled body. God, I want him. “I am hungry,” I whisper. “But not for food.”
A smile stretches over his face. “That sounds like a problem I can help you with, lovely Lani.”
I give him a mock-frown. “What did I say about that nickname?”
“But you are lovely, Lani,” he says. He rolls me on my back and looms over me, hot need written on his face. His arms bracket me. “And impossible to resist…”
He bends his head. I tilt my face up, anticipation zinging through me. Our lips touch, sweetly at first. His tongue teases the seam of my lips, a light, maddening touch that has me aching for more.
I twine my arms around Ruhan’s broad shoulders and draw him closer. My mouth opens, and his tongue slides in, hot and possessive, and I lose myself in his kiss.
A rumble rises deep in Ruhan’s rock hard chest. His skin is heated. I wrap my legs around him, tugging him closer. I rock my hips, grinding against the steel bar of his cock. My asseh is in the way, as are his pants, but I don’t care. I refuse to let that stop me; my need won’t be denied.
He lifts his head and looks at me, a smile in his jewel-green eyes. “Is this what you want?” he asks, angling his hips so his cock rubs me just the right way.
I shiver, every nerve ending flaring to life at the contact. “Yes,” I whisper raggedly. “Oh God, yes.” The layers of clothing between us are forgotten as I grind against his hard shaft, like a teenager making out with her boyfriend in the back seat of a car. My breathing quickens. My muscles tense, and my toes curl.
“Ruhan!” I grab his hips, trying to force him closer. He gives me a wicked grin and keeps his steady rhythm, nudging me closer and closer to the edge. Then the dam bursts, and I fall apart with a cry, my fingers digging into his golden biceps, my heels drumming his back.
“Oh wow.” The aftermath of my release leaves me breathless and shaking. That was intense. We’re still clothed. There’s a damp patch on my asseh, and a corresponding one on Ruhan’s pants, where I ground up against him. Oops.
Ruhan smirks, a satisfied smile crinkling his eyes as he looks down at my flushed face.
You’d think my orgasm would have taken off the edge, but he’s still looming over me, and I want him. “Take off your pants,” I urge, tugging at my loops of fabric, trying to free myself from the asseh. This garment is just as hard to take off as it is to put on. It shouldn’t be this hard to get naked, should it?
Ruhan watches me flail, his lips compressed in mirth. “Why is it so hard to get out of this thing?” I grumble, my cheeks red.
“Let me help you,” he says, but it’s too late. In my impatience, I’ve become hopelessly tangled. My arms are caught behind me, my breasts bouncing as I struggle to free myself. The fabric loops have come loose, winding above and below my breasts, framing them perfectly.
Ruhan’s expression takes on a predatory look. “On second thought,” he murmurs. “I like this result much better.” He trails his thumb over my engorged nipple, his touch light and teasing. “So pretty.”
He dips his head. His tongue flicks at my nipples, and then he sucks them between his teeth, first the right one, and then the left. As he sucks one nipple into his mouth, he squeezes the other between his thumb and forefinger, twisting slightly.
“That’s not... Ruhan... ahhh, yes, like that…” Whimpering in pleasure, I squirm, trying to get my arms free so I can pull him closer. I writhe on the bed, and I arch my back, wordlessly begging for more.
I throw my head back and close my eyes, almost overwhelmed with how good his touch feels. “Please,” I whisper. I need to feel him. I don’t want to waste another second without him inside me. “I want you.”
Ruhan gets naked. His cock jumps out, huge and erect. I felt him last night, and I have an idea of how large he is but seeing him in the daylight sends a pulse of shock through me. He’s beautiful. He’s the most physically perfect man I’ve ever seen.
And there’s no way that massive cock is going to fit inside me. None at all. “Oh fuck,” I groan. “This isn’t going to work.”
“You don’t want to do this?” He stops in place, his eyes locked on mine.
“You’re too large.” I’m intimidated by his size, but that doesn’t stop me from closing my fingers around his thick length, and it doesn’t stop me from strokin
g the velvet steel of his erection. He groans, arousal etched in his face. His skin sears my palm, and my pussy spasms in need.
Okay, yes, he’s huge. But I’m up for a challenge.
“You’ll take it slow?”
“I promise.” He moves over me, his body pinning mine to the mattress. “But before that, there’s something I need to do.” He slides down between my legs and parts my thighs. Slipping his giant hands under my ass, he lifts my lower half to his mouth. His biceps and abs flex as he holds me aloft. Then he dips his head and—
His tongue circles just the right spot. “Ooooh—”
“You’re so sweet.” His voice is muffled, his entire face pressed against my flesh. His tongue probes my entrance, and sweet stars above, it’s hot and thick enough to send another spasm through me. I clench down on him, my inner muscles clamping around his tongue.
He growls right into my pussy, hungrily lapping and sucking every inch of me. His tongue circles my clit again, and he sinks two fingers into my wet heat. Blood rushes to my head, and I tip into release again with a wail. My thighs quiver and I try to close my legs involuntarily, but he holds me open and continues his pleasurable assault. My fists clench in the sheets. Orgasm after orgasm crashes over me. I’m babbling, begging him to stop while simultaneously begging him for more.
When he finally lowers me to the mattress, I’m shaking, my skin damp with sweat. Ruhan lifts his head up. His face is shiny with my arousal, and when he smiles at me, I see pure male satisfaction in his gaze.
“I want you,” I say again. His mouth was magnificent, but I need his cock. I need him deep inside me, thrusting into me with wild abandon, groaning with the strength of his desire. I want to watch him unravel. For me.
He positions himself between my legs. He rubs his cock against my wetness and spanks my clit with his thick length. Electricity shoots through me. “Oh, fuck, Ruhan!”