Tears burned her eyes at the possibility of never collecting her things, and she glanced around the street again. It might be stupid, but if she got free, she could go home, pack a few things, and get out of there fast.
As if he sensed her thoughts, he spoke again.
“I’m the only protection you have against the vamps who captured you; if you run from me, you’re on your own against them. Humans have no idea what they’re up against when it comes to them. As soon as the sun sets, they’re going to start tracking us; can you survive against them on your own?”
She wasn’t sure if she could survive against him, but he’d gotten them this far. As much as he unnerved her, she couldn’t deny that she would be dead if it weren’t for him.
“Why did you take me from there?” she asked. “Why didn’t you take one of the other women? Why didn’t you kill me? You tried, and I know you wanted to. I felt it.”
Lucien tugged at his filthy hair again. He hadn’t wanted to kill her, but as he tried to deny it, the ugly truth burrowed through him. Yes, he did. The second his hands touched her, he had every intention of draining her dry. So why didn’t he?
He frowned as he tried to puzzle it out. What he wouldn’t give for a shower and some blood to clear his mind. His gaze fell to the pulse in her neck, and he licked his lips as he recalled the delicious, honeyed taste of her.
When her pulse skyrocketed and she stepped back, he tore his gaze away before he scared her more. He couldn’t continue like this. His strength was dwindling, his ability to control others was gone, and if he didn’t feed soon, he might collapse or snap. And what would happen to her if either of those things occurred?
The thought spurred him into action. “We have to move.”
“Are you going to answer my question?” Pushing him was a bad idea; she saw the hunger in his gaze when it fell on her neck, but she didn’t understand any of this, and she deserved answers.
“We can walk and talk.”
His urgency caused Callie to glance warily behind her. However, the street remained mostly deserted. From a few houses away, people emerged from the open doorway and descended the stairs, but they didn’t look at them.
She was alone with this man—no, this vampire, but he was the only one who knew the truth of what happened to her, and he could protect her. Which was kind of laughable, considering he looked as if she could push him over.
Resigning herself to her fate, Callie started walking. If he later turned against her and killed her, she would have no one to blame but herself. However, she couldn’t stand there doing nothing.
Lucien returned to the sidewalk and cupped her elbow. He stayed to the shadows while he led her down the street.
“Why did you take me from there?” Callie asked again. “Why didn’t you kill me or take one of the others?”
“I don’t know,” Lucien gruffly admitted.
“You don’t know?”
“That’s what I said.”
She glowered at him. He’d saved her life, but he was kind of a prick.
“I have no idea what compelled me to grab you and run when all I craved was drinking every last drop of your blood. It’s all I still want to do.”
He shouldn’t have admitted it, and the second the words left his mouth, he started kicking himself in the ass, but he’d never been one to hold back or bite his tongue. Still, he was trying to help her feel safe, and he wasn’t helping with that at all.
Callie tried to pull her arm free of his grasp, but he refused to relinquish her. She resisted the childish impulse to kick him. It would probably result in her death, but she’d love to kick him in the nuts. At least she’d get to hear him squeal like a baby before he killed her.
“I won’t harm you,” he said.
“Those words aren’t exactly reassuring after you just admitted to wanting to kill me.”
“If I planned to kill you, I would have done it in that pit. And then I would have killed the other women. It’s what they intended for me to do; it’s why you were there and why I was there.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
When his gaze shifted to her, she forced herself not to flinch away from those red eyes, which were the most unnerving things she’d ever seen.
“Because of you,” he stated.
“Me?”
“Yes, you. I don’t know what it is about you, and I’m too fucking thirsty to figure it out, but I stopped because of you.”
CHAPTER 10
Before she could reply, he pulled her into an alley. A cold sweat broke out on her skin as she realized no one could see them in here. She highly doubted anyone on that street would have helped her, but having people around had given her a little security. It was gone.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Until I feed, I’m not much good to either of us. I can’t….”
Lucien lowered his head and, using the heel of his hand, slapped his forehead a few times as he tried to regain control of his jumbled thoughts. But the word hungry had started to replay on incessant, whiny loop in his head. He didn’t know if he despised his lack of control or that whiny tone more.
“Feed on what?” Callie asked nervously.
“Right now, I don’t care what it is, as long as it has blood.”
Callie tried to tug her arm free, but his grip tightened. She suppressed a wince when his fingers bit into her skin. Memories of Carter flashed through her mind, and she tried to bury the panic swelling within her like a rising tsunami.
“Let go of me!” she cried.
He released her as if she’d burned him. “I’m sorry…. I’m not…. This isn’t who I am. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I won’t…. it won’t happen again.”
Lucien couldn’t recall the last time he ever apologized to anyone, or if he’d ever apologized to anyone before, but suddenly he wanted to crush her against him as he wrestled against the madness threatening to consume him. However, he didn’t dare touch her for fear he would injure her again.
He was making a massive mess of this. Making a mess of what?
That was a good question, and if he could think straight, he might be able to figure out the answer. But right now, all he could think about was keeping her safe and with him.
Callie rubbed her arm as she studied him. The confusion on his face and the anguish in his voice all made her think he truly meant what he said, but she wasn’t an idiot; most abusers spewed apologies after committing their crimes.
It was clear he was unstable and on the verge of losing it. An unhinged vampire seemed about as safe as a nest of pissed-off vipers, but the sorrow in his red eyes touched something in her.
Unable to stop himself, he touched her cheek. As he connected with her, she flinched away before recovering and lifting her chin. Her eyes blazed with defiance, but he’d seen something in them… something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
He’d seen it before, but it was clearer this time. It was more than terror, more than disgust and distrust. It was raw and primal, and he hoped never to see it from her again.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
Callie nodded, but Lucien sensed her hesitation and wariness of him. She had every right to distrust him. He kept scaring her when it was the last thing he wanted to do. He slapped at his temples as he tried to clear his mind.
It didn’t help.
When he lifted his head to take her in, he saw the look of a cornered animal staring down the throat of their enemy. It withered something inside him. He deserved that look, but he would prove to her that she could trust him. He just didn’t know how when he kept fucking everything up.
He hadn’t even realized he was scaring her this time. Until he fed, he was a threat to her, and he couldn’t allow that to continue.
At the end of the alley, he scented the air and turned to the right. They made their way through a few more side streets before coming to a neighborhood that looked as if only a bulldozer could save it.
M
ost of the houses sagged with decay and age; many of them had no windows or plywood in place of glass. The cars on the street were missing tires or sat on flat tires. Some looked as if they might still run, but others were shells that housed countless rodents.
Without thinking, Callie stepped closer to Lucien as she nervously eyed the buildings. “We should leave,” she whispered.
“There’s a food source nearby. I have to feed.”
Repulsion raced through her, and she edged away from him.
Lucien reached for her again before lowering his hand. “This way.”
Callie’s feet remained plastered to the cracked sidewalk as he took a few steps away from her. When he started to turn back to her, she reluctantly walked toward him. She didn’t have any other options.
Her revulsion battered against him, but the lure of heartbeats pulled him onward. He stopped in front of a rundown house. Plywood covered its lopsided windows, and the front door was gone. Concrete blocks had replaced the front steps.
The fading and chipped yellow paint suggested this home was once cheerful and cared for, but that was years ago. He didn’t know what happened to those owners, and he didn’t care. All he cared about was the pounding of the hearts inside the home.
“This way,” he said as he started up the cracked and broken walkway toward the blocks.
He was halfway up the sidewalk before he realized she wasn’t walking beside him. He turned back to discover her standing at the end of the walkway with her arms folded over her chest.
“Let’s go,” he said.
“I’m not going in there to watch you kill people.”
“I’m not going to kill them.”
Or at least he hoped he wasn’t. He didn’t know what would happen once his fangs pierced their flesh and their blood flooded his mouth. He was as stable as the ground during an earthquake.
However, he would do whatever it took not to lose control of himself in such a way, especially if she was there.
“Isn’t killing what you do?” she asked.
“We can feed without killing; some vampires choose not to, but I keep my victims alive. I won’t kill them, and I’m not leaving you out here.” He detected more heartbeats as he glanced up and down the road. “It’s not safe out here.”
Callie stared at the ruined houses surrounding them. Though she couldn’t see anyone, she sensed them standing in the shadows of this ruined place, watching and waiting. Waiting for what, she didn’t know, and she didn’t want to find out.
The idea of going inside made her skin crawl, but it was the better option. She stalked up the walkway toward him and halted a foot away. “Let’s go so you can torture some innocent people.”
“I’m not going to torture them.”
“As someone who has experienced your bite, I can tell you that you are going to torture them.”
Lucien winced at this reminder. He’d never been one for self-hatred and regrets. Shit happened; it was as simple as that. Until her, there was only one thing he wished to change, but the past was as untouchable as the sun, and like the sun, it could destroy him if he lingered on it.
However, he regretted everything about their original encounter and many of the things that followed. He would give anything to start over and do it right, but it was too late for that. Even if he could control her mind and change her memories, he realized he wouldn’t do it.
No, he’d made his mistakes, and he would live with the consequences of them, but he would not mess with her head.
“It’s not painful if you don’t fight it, and if I could take control of their minds, they wouldn’t know I was doing it,” he said.
He turned away before she could question him further, and after some hesitation, she followed him into the house.
CHAPTER 11
Once inside, Lucien clasped her elbow again. She almost jerked it free, but his tender touch helped guide her around the broken board in the rotting floor.
A rank, mildew scent filled the air. It mingled with the stench of something more acrid—urine and feces. Her nose wrinkled, and she pulled her shirt up to cover her nose and mouth. The thin material did little to block out the stench as he released her.
When she retreated a couple of steps back toward the open doorway, Lucien turned to look at her. He prepared to chase her if she bolted, but she didn’t look ready to run; she simply looked horrified and slightly green.
“We won’t stay long,” he assured her.
And then he hated himself for making her stay here at all. Somehow, he would make this up to her. He had no idea how and no idea why he cared, but he would do it.
He picked his way carefully across the floor, but the boards were surprisingly steady and didn’t sag under his weight. Crossing through the doorway, he stepped into another room that he assumed was once the living room with its brick fireplace and numerous windows. Those windows were all boarded over now, but one of them still had checkered blue and white curtains surrounding it.
He held his hand back to keep Callie away, but she crept forward. He tried to block the doorway, but she peered around him to take in the people in the room.
Two of them shared the same dirty mattress as they slept together. One sat against the wall with an empty bottle of whiskey by his side. A fourth lay on another bed with sheets and a small blanket tucked around her. Spread around the woman were a few personal items, including pictures of a family.
Upon closer inspection, Callie realized the woman stood proudly in the middle of that photo. She looked far different than the vibrant woman beaming at the camera. She had her arms draped around the shoulders of two children who were hugging her back. That woman’s brown hair shone; this woman’s graying brown hair was lank and dull from grease. Her face was far more lined, and she was a good twenty pounds thinner.
Callie couldn’t tear her gaze away from the photo. This whole place was horrible, but there was something infinitely sad about the woman, her small space, and the picture. The needles, drug paraphernalia, and liquor bottles spread around the others revealed what demons the other three possessed. Still, there was nothing to indicate what brought the woman to this place.
“Stay here,” Lucien said to her.
He didn’t look back as the incessant thump of the hearts lured him further into the room. He was practically drooling by the time he knelt in front of the man slumped against the wall.
Though he didn’t think the man would wake up, he pressed his palm over his mouth as he leaned closer. Usually, the stench of booze and cigarettes wafting from the man would turn him away, but it did nothing to dull his excitement.
Some dim part of his mind realized he shouldn’t do this in front of her. However, he’d been pushed past his breaking point, and nothing would deter him.
He kept his hand against the man’s mouth as he sank his fangs into his throat. A small twitch was the only reaction the man gave, but he didn’t wake.
Lucien tasted the alcohol in the blood fueling him as it seeped into his system and dulled the fire in his veins. He gulped the blood down as he drank more greedily than ever before.
Dimly, he heard the sounds of slurping and realized he was making the noise. He’d become more demon than human, but that realization didn’t slow him. When he bit deeper, more blood spurted into his mouth, and he suppressed a groan as he finally fed.
So lost to the frenzy of his bloodlust, he didn’t hear her approach until Callie rested a hand on his shoulder. He recognized her touch but didn’t acknowledge her.
Callie watched in horror as Lucien took more and more blood from the unconscious man. She’d been around animals her entire life; she’d grown up on a farm and knew one of the worst things anyone could do was get between an animal and their prey, but she couldn’t stand by and watch him destroy this man.
It could be the biggest mistake of her life, but she shook him; he didn’t acknowledge her. Growing increasingly scared for the man, she shook him harder. His shoulder bone dug into her palm
as she yanked on him.
“Lucien,” she whispered as the color faded from the man’s already pale face. “Lucien, stop!”
Lucien’s blood thundered in his ears as he hunched closer to the man while Callie jerked on him again. Finally, he released his bite and spun toward her. She gasped and, staggering back, held out her hands to ward him off.
Lucien was about to launch himself at her when reality crashed down on him. He pulled back and rested his hand on the ground as his shoulders hunched and his head bowed. He’d been about to kill the man, and then he’d been about to kill her.
Even with the fresh influx of blood in his system, he was still on the verge of losing complete control. He took a deep breath as he grappled for control. When he was sure he wouldn’t attack, he lifted his head and met her wide, unblinking eyes.
“You’re safe with me,” he promised.
He realized how insane that sounded, considering she was standing in the middle of an abandoned house with an unhinged vampire and surrounded by garbage, drugs, and who knew what else creeping through the shadows.
“I’m better,” he said and hoped it was true. “I still need more, but I’m better. Why don’t you go stand in the hallway?”
“No, I’m staying,” she said and glanced at the woman behind her.
Lucien realized she didn’t trust him enough to leave him alone with them. He didn’t argue with her; he didn’t trust himself right now either.
Rising, he started toward the couple but staggered to the side. He almost crashed into the wall when the blood rushed to his head. It was more than the influx of fresh blood that left him dizzy and unsteady; it was also the amount of alcohol in the man’s system. Normally, he might get a small buzz when he fed on someone who was intoxicated, but he maintained control.
Now, he weighed a good thirty pounds less than a month ago, he had little food supply to absorb the alcohol’s effects, and he was feeling it a lot more than usual.
Bound by Danger (The Alliance, Book 6) Page 6