Madison turned away, quick tears coming to her eyes. He is a very kind man, she thought, and he was making something awkward and embarrassing into nothing. And he was taking her side over Roger’s!
“My eldest son, Thomas, is studying medicine, and he explained to us about Roger’s accident and what kind of rehabilitation it’s taken. I’m sure that you’ve been a great help to him.” When Frank said this, he glanced at Madison to see her expression.
But she looked away for a moment so he couldn’t see her face. No doubt this sweet man believed that Roger had round-the-clock nurses and a wife who played tennis at the country club, only returning occasionally to check on the progress of her injured husband. It was something that Madison had encountered all her life: people assumed that beauty gave you an easy life.
“So, Madison, how tough are you?” Frank asked as they pulled onto the highway and headed north.
“Tough?” she asked, puzzled. “You mean, can I play touch football with the guys? That sort of tough?”
Frank laughed. “Not at all. I think that if you played football with the guys, there’d be one big, collective tackle and that would end the game.”
“You’re wonderful for my ego. Want to have an affair?”
At that Frank let out a shout of laughter that made Roger, who was sulking in the back and holding suitcases away from his legs with his canes, turn and glare at them through the back window.
“I would love to,” Frank said, “but I don’t think my heart could take it.”
“Or your wife,” she said, smiling and loving the teasing. It had been so long since she’d talked of anything except Roger’s physical problems.
“She’d probably be glad to get rid of me for the day, or the week, however long I lasted.”
“Now, why do I doubt that?” Madison said, leaning back and looking him up and down.
Frank was looking out the windshield of the truck, but he was smiling and his face was warm from the pleasure of flirting with a pretty girl. “No, I mean ‘tough’ as in what you can take in the way of jealousy.”
“Jealousy?”
“I think I better prepare you. In college my son and Roger had quite a few girlfriends.” He gave her a glance out of the corner of his eye to see how she would take this.
“I’ve known Roger for years. You’re not going to tell me anything about him that I don’t know. I used to be the one who did his homework for him.”
“I have a daughter a year younger than Roger and Scotty, and she brought a distant cousin and a girlfriend with her. The three of them will be staying at the cabin with us.”
Madison waited for him to go on but he didn’t, so she looked out the window and thought about what he’d told her. After a while, she smiled, then turned to him. “I see. They don’t know that Roger has a girlfriend much less a wife, and they certainly didn’t know that she was arriving with him, so there might be a little . . . What should we say? Cat hair flying?”
Turning, Frank grinned at her. “You’re smart, aren’t you?”
“I thought you were a college professor. Don’t you know that it’s a law of physics that a beautiful woman can’t be smart?”
“You’ll do all right,” he said, looking out the window again, his hands on the steering wheel.
“How much time before we get there?” Madison asked.
“About fifteen minutes,” he answered.
“Could you make it twenty?” she asked as she picked up her tote bag from the floor and began to rummage in it.
When she withdrew a tube of lipstick, Frank said, “There’s a diner on the way. How’d you like a rest stop?”
“Thank you,” she said, and five minutes later, Frank pulled off the highway into the gravel parking lot of an old-fashioned diner. He waited outside, standing beside Roger and vaguely listening to his complaints, while Madison went inside.
Inside the diner, Madison asked where the rest room was. The woman behind the counter frowned. She didn’t like tourists to stop and use her rest room without ordering anything. Grudgingly, she nodded her head toward a small door to the left.
Once inside the tiny rest room, Madison put her tote bag on the toilet seat and unzipped it. Maybe it was Frank’s flirting, maybe it was the idea of facing three young women who had the hots for her husband, but Madison wanted to do what she could to look her best when she walked into that assembly.
As she looked into the tiny mirror with the single bulb over it, Madison wasn’t sure she remembered how to apply makeup. For years now her only concern had been Roger and his recovery; she hadn’t had time to think about making herself look like a woman.
But when she touched an eye pencil to her lid, her memory returned. Not too much, she thought, just enough to emphasize and enhance. Quickly, she applied pencil, mascara, a bit of base, lined her lips, then filled in the color. She bent over, which, for someone who was almost six feet tall, was nearly impossible in the tiny room, but Madison managed to hang her head down enough that her hair, unleashed from the elastic band, nearly touched the floor. She sprayed her roots, then swung her hair to dry it, then flipped her head back and voilá!—lion’s mane.
She unbuttoned her blouse enough that the tiny bow on her bra was exposed, then lifted the back of her collar. She let her denim jacket fall back on her shoulders just a bit, then straightened her shoulders, stiffened her spine, and left the rest room. As she walked through the diner, she kept her eyes straight ahead, but she knew that she had the attention of every person in the small restaurant.
When she opened the door to the outside, both Frank and Roger looked up. Frank’s mouth dropped open and Roger frowned. As though Roger weren’t there, Madison walked toward Frank.
“Am I ready to meet them?” she asked softly.
For a moment all Frank could do was stare at her; then he threw back his head and laughed. “My wife is going to enjoy this immensely. And to think, just last week she suggested that we go to Paris this summer instead of to the cabin. She said the cabin was too much of the same thing, year in, year out.”
In answer, Madison just smiled at him, then started to open the door to the passenger side of the truck, but Frank beat her to it. When he had closed her door, he walked around the front of the truck.
Roger, who was still in the back of the truck, as it was too much trouble to get in and out, leaned over the side toward Madison’s open window. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re not going to some sleazy bar, you know. These people are—”
Smiling, she looked at her husband. “You know something, Roger? Educated men like pretty girls too.” With that she rolled up the window, then turned and smiled at Frank as he got into the truck and shut the door.
Six
The “cabin” was just as Madison had imagined it would be. It looked like something the Roosevelt clan had owned. It was one story, made out of logs that had aged a deep brown. On the front was a porch that had to be twenty feet deep and at least sixty feet long. Lots of old log chairs and benches were scattered about, each one covered with fat chintz-covered cushions that were fashionably weathered.
“Not even their upholstery looks new,” Madison said under her breath; then Roger glared at her as though to remind her not to betray her origins. For a moment, Madison halted and she thought about asking Frank to take her back to the airport so she could go home. But then she thought, Where is home? With her mother gone her only home was with Roger.
Frank’s arm under her elbow made her come back to the present.
“Nice place,” she said with a weak smile at him as she followed Roger up the stairs. She’d started to help her husband, but he’d jerked away from her, so she walked beside Frank.
As Madison stood on the porch, she looked at the lake that ran behind the house, crystal blue water as far as she could see. Great trees and boulders dotted the shoreline. There were no other people or cabins in sight. Nor were there boats on the water, and Madison was sure that Frank’s family owned everythi
ng within their vision.
“It’ll do,” Frank said with a little snort. “It’s from my wife’s family, not mine,” he said under his breath. “My dad was a plumber.”
It was as though he were reading her mind, and in thanks, Madison turned a dazzling smile on him.
For a moment Frank blinked at her. “And my mother took in washing,” he said, making Madison laugh. She knew the last statement was a lie and that he was saying it just to get her to smile again.
“And I have an uncle who’s a taxi driver.”
Madison was still laughing when she got to the door and she was glad because she needed to laugh. Running out of the house, their attention a hundred percent on Roger, were two pretty girls—and the very look of them cried out, “Money!” They had on those colorless clothes that looked the same in the store as they did after ten years of wearing. But Madison knew that they were clothes that cost what her mother had earned each year at three jobs.
The girls were pretty but not in an obvious way. If they wore any makeup, it was so light that it was impossible to detect. They were girls who lived by rules such as, Get dressed, then remove one piece of jewelry. Of course the jewelry they owned was real and it had been given to them by their grandparents.
Standing back and looking at them, Madison suddenly felt too tall, too made-up, too flashy. Once again, she wanted to run away from this place. She didn’t belong here.
Then, from out of the cabin came another girl, this one small and trim, with short, dark hair, big brown eyes, and as she stepped forward, the other two moved out of her way.
“Roger, darling,” she said quietly; then with what was certainly a practiced gesture, she stood on tiptoe, hooked one arm around Roger’s neck, drew his head down, and kissed him on the lips.
Beside her, Madison could feel Frank stiffen, but the odd thing was that Madison felt nothing. There was part of her that was standing to one side observing this action and remarking on it. “There’s a woman kissing my husband. I should be wildly jealous. I should be pushing her away.” But instead, Madison just stood there watching. When Roger had returned from college with a fiancée on his arm, Madison had been nearly insane with jealousy. Just to see the woman standing near the man Madison was so madly in love with had nearly pushed Madison over the edge.
But now all Madison thought was, Maybe someone else will look after him and I can have some peace and quiet.
It was Frank who broke them up. “Terri!” he said loudly, “I think there is someone here you should meet. This is Roger’s wife.”
At that all three of the young women turned to look at Madison. Terri still had her hand on Roger’s shoulder, and she didn’t look as though she meant to remove it.
“Wife?” one of the girls whispered, looking at Roger.
All Roger did was shrug, as though a wife were something that had happened to him and it wasn’t his concern.
As smoothly as he could, Frank introduced the three young women. There was his daughter, Nina, her cousin Terri, and Nina’s friend, Robbie.
When the three girls looked up at Madison—she was, after all, several inches taller than they were—she sighed, for there was hostility in their eyes. All Madison thought was, Too bad, for she would have liked to have made friends with them.
I don’t want this, Madison thought. It’s been too long a day for a cat fight. Turning, she smiled at Frank. “I think that flight has tired me out. Maybe you could show me . . . our room?” Her ego couldn’t resist that one little emphasis.
“Certainly,” Frank said, then made his way through the girls, Madison close behind him.
The inside of the “cabin” matched the exterior, with big, comfortable couches and chairs, Native American rugs that were probably now worth the earth scattered across the pine floors. They walked past a living room the size of a bus station. At one end was a fireplace made of rocks that had to have been set in place with a crane.
Down a hall, Frank opened a door and motioned her inside. There was one bed, one small clothes cupboard, a couple of little tables, and a chair. “We’ll have to switch rooms for you, since we didn’t know . . .”
“It’s fine,” she said, letting him off the hook.
“Don’t let them bother you. They’ve known Roger a long time, and he’s . . . well . . . ”
“He’s a catch,” Madison said, smiling at Frank. “I know. He’s rich and he’s good-looking. What else could they want?”
A frown crossed Frank’s face for a moment; then he gave her a small smile. “If you need anything, let us know,” he said as he put her suitcase on the floor, then left the room, closing the door behind him.
Within moments, Roger entered the room. Madison glanced up from her unpacking and saw that he was ready to start a fight.
“I don’t see why you couldn’t have been polite. These people are used to courtesy. Maybe you don’t know about manners like theirs, but—”
She wasn’t going to take his bait. Long ago she’d learned that when Roger knew he was in the wrong, he compensated by attacking. When she spoke, it was with a quiet, calm voice. “What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell them that you were married and that you were bringing your wife.”
She’d heard Roger coming down the hall and he had been swift and sure on his canes, but now that they were alone in the room, he was limping. As though in great agony, he lowered himself onto the side of the bed. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t start one of your fights.”
She had to swallow a couple of times before she could reply to that. But again, she was not going to be bullied by him. Roger wasn’t an impulsive person; everything he did was for a reason. “I just want to know why, that’s all. I came here thinking that I was an invited guest, but I get here and find that they know nothing about me.”
“All right, calm down,” Roger said, as though Madison were on the verge of hysterics. “I never told Scotty or his family about you because, well, it’s just a guy thing. We—”
“Being unmarried made you more macho?” she asked softly. Oddly enough, she wasn’t angry at him. In fact all she was feeling was curiosity.
“Yeah!” Roger said. “So what’s the harm in that? I haven’t felt very male in the last years, so what if I let my best friend think that I was still a free man?”
“Free man?” she said under her breath, and it went through her mind all that she’d given up for him. “If you want your freedom, just let me know.”
“Maddy, honey, you know that I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He reached out for her, but she stepped away.
“No, Roger, I don’t know that you didn’t mean to hurt me. In fact, lately I’ve thought that most of the pain you inflict on me is intentional.”
Roger ran his hand over his face as though in extreme exasperation. “Couldn’t we have just a few days without your nagging? Is it possible for you to enjoy yourself? Look, I know you’re upset about the baby, but—”
“Not just one baby, Roger, all babies. Forever.”
“Is that my fault? Is that what you’re saying? I did the best I could to get to a telephone. I—”
Madison turned away as tears came to her eyes. Would she ever get over this feeling that her life was over? She was missing a uterus, true, but she had other things. People didn’t have to have children to have a full life.
She turned back to face Roger. “All right,” she said. She couldn’t bring herself to apologize, but maybe she could soothe the situation. Anyway, she was too tired to fight. “Okay, we’ll call a truce. No fights for as long as we’re here. How does that sound?” Roger looked relieved.
Suddenly, Madison couldn’t bear to be in the same room with him. If she stayed near him much longer, she’d start screaming. But she paused, her hand on the door latch. There was something she needed to know. “If you knew you’d not told them you were married, why did you insist that I come here with you? I wanted to remain in Montana.” For a moment Roger just sat there on the edge of the bed and didn
’t say anything.
She knew him so well. “Out with it,” she said.
“Mom and Dad said they needed a break.”
“I see,” Madison said, then turned away. She wasn’t going to allow herself to dwell on the injustice of that statement. She had left New York to return to Montana to nurse their injured son. She’d spent her days and nights waiting on him. The only “time off” Madison took was to read textbooks lent to her by her friend Dr. Dorothy Oliver, in an attempt to learn how to better rehabilitate their son. But yet his parents had declared that they “needed a break” from Madison.
“Maddy?” Roger said, and she turned back to look at him, but he didn’t say anything else.
“What else?” she said, because she knew that he had something big he wanted from her.
“Let me have a good time,” he said softly. “Just for the time we’re here.”
It took her a moment to understand what he meant. A “good time” to Roger meant drinking and laughing and being the high school football hero again. And that meant girls, lots of them, all looking up at him adoringly. All of them imagining what a great lover he was. But Madison knew that most of Roger was show. He liked sex now and then, but he liked it short and over with quickly. What he liked best was the adoration—something that Madison no longer gave him.
“Sure,” she said. “Have a good time. I’ll—” She didn’t know what she was going to do with herself, but if she could sit down on a rock and look at the water for one uninterrupted hour, that would be more than enough for her. “I’ll leave you alone,” she said after a moment. “Anything else?”
“No,” he said, then smiled at her in a way that he hadn’t done in years. For a moment she was the head cheerleader and he was the captain of the football team and everything was perfect. Madison smiled back at him. “Thanks,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” she answered and meant it; then she opened the door and left the room.
Maybe it was cowardly of her and it was certainly being a bad guest, but Madison found a side door and slipped outside without searching out her hostess to say thank you. Outside was what looked like a deer trail between the trees, and Madison took it. This had been one of her problems in New York City: she was a country girl and she wasn’t used to a place that had no wilderness. She liked to walk for hours alone in a forest, drifting about, looking at the trees and the tracks left by the animals.
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