I’m a horrible mother. Selfish, short-sighted, and careless. Tears well up in my eyes and I try to blink them away. Audrey stomps beside me, all but pulling me toward the McCoy hotel.
When we get there, she pushes the door open and guides me to a couch in the lobby. She sits down beside me and lays her head on my shoulder. I lift my arm and snuggle her into my side, squeezing her and kissing the top of her head. I inhale the scent of her hair and my heart squeezes again.
She puts her arm on my leg and takes a long, shuddering breath. After a moment, she looks up at me.
“Mom, what happened with the fire?”
My chest squeezes and I shake my head. “Don’t worry about that, Audrey. It was before I got here.”
“Tell me,” she says, and the maturity in her voice surprises and saddens me. “I want to know what happened.”
I take a deep breath and glance at her before shaking my head. “I’m not sure, baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” she says automatically, and I smile. It feels like my face is cracking from the effort, but the weight on my heart lifts just a little.
“No, you’re not.” I answer, almost to myself. “Well, all I know is that there was a big hotel being built, and people were worried that it would bring lots of people to the area that wouldn’t care about the mountains. So some naughty people burned it down.”
“Was Ethan one of those naughty people?”
My heart breaks all over again and I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. Finally, I nod. “Yeah. He was.”
Audrey is silent for a while. We both turn toward the sound of footsteps and I hurriedly brush the tears from my eyes. I breathe a sigh of relief when Katie appears. Her face is drawn and she rushes toward the two of us.
“I heard what happened,” she breathes. “Are you okay?”
“How did you hear what happened already?” I ask, frowning. “We only left a few minutes ago.”
Katie looks at me and cocks her head to the side. She grins and shakes her head. “It’s Lang Creek, Zoe,” she chuckles. “News travels fast.”
Her eyes turn to Audrey and she kneels in front of us. She pulls out an envelope from her bag and holds it out toward Audrey. “Can you find Mara and give her this?” she asks in a somber voice. “It’s very important. She’s in the office.”
Audrey is still for a second and then tentatively takes the envelope. She nods once, and then turns to lay a kiss on my cheek. I try to smile at her, and inhale deeply as she walks down the hallway toward the office.
Katie slides on the sofa beside me and takes a deep breath.
“Katie, what am I going to do?” I hate how whiney I sound. I hate how small and thin my voice is, and how painful it is to say those words. Katie turns toward me and puts her hand on my forearm.
“You’re going to breathe. Right now you’re just going to breathe. Then you’re going to go to work. You’ll do your job, and you’re going to be there for your daughter. Do not for a second think that you’re going to run away from this. You’ve seen how Audrey has brightened since she moved here. You told me she was being bullied back in Seattle, and even after the accident she seems happy here. Plus, you said yourself that this job is a huge step for you.”
“Yeah, but…”
Katie shakes her head. “The Clarkes are sexy, irresistible men,” she starts. She looks at me and grins. “Trust me, I know. I’m a little jealous that Ethan is so in love with you.”
“He’s not–”
“Please, Zoe,” Katie grins. She shakes her head. “He’s in love with you. But all three of them have a wildness to them that no one can tame.”
“He’s an arsonist.”
“He did what he thought was right. Most people here agreed with him, for what it’s worth.”
My heart shears again and I shake my head. “I can’t approve of something like that. He lied to me about it.”
Katie is quiet for a while. She pats my arm and takes a deep breath.
“Yeah,” she finally says. “He did.”
I look at my friend and the pain in my chest is almost unbearable. I finally felt like I’d found a place for my daughter and me to be happy. I’d moved up in my career. I’d found a man that I cared about. I thought he cared about me. But do I even know him? He committed a felony, and most importantly, he lied to me. To my face! I asked him a direct question and he didn’t even have the guts to be honest.
“I’m just not sure if I can get over that,” I finally say.
Katie takes a deep breath and nods. “That’s understandable.”
I brush hot tears off my cheeks and shake my head. My thoughts are muddled and I feel like a failure and a fool. I feel like a bad mother and an even worse daughter. I thought my life was going to get better by moving here, but it’s only gotten worse.
“What do you want to do?” Katie asks. I look at her and see real concern in her eyes. I see friendship in them, too. I haven’t had a real friend in so many years that the look in her eyes shocks me.
I open my mouth to answer when a blood-curdling scream floats down the hallway where my daughter disappeared. Both of us jump at the sound. I scramble to my feet.
My heart stops as my blood runs cold. I can only say one thing in a breathless, panicked whisper:
“Audrey.”
34
Ethan
Zoe isn’t answering her phone, and my heart feels like it’s dropped to my stomach. The anger that consumed me when I saw Margaret McCoy at the festival has disappeared. In its place is a dark hole in the center of my chest. I just need to explain to her how I feel about her.
My hands are shaking as I dial Zoe’s number again. Dominic’s heavy hand drops on my shoulder and I take a deep breath.
“She’ll come around,” he grunts. I turn to look at him and see real concern in his eyes.
I shake my head. “I don’t know if she will.”
Dominic says nothing, and the two of us wander out of the fair grounds. I glance down the street toward my house, and I wonder if Zoe went there.
Maybe she’s getting all her things, packing them up to leave. The thought sends a sharp pain straight through my heart, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I fucked up,” I say, looking at my brother. Dominic’s eyebrows draw together, but he says nothing. He takes a deep breath and looks down the road with me. “I should have just told her the truth when she asked about the fire.”
“You couldn’t,” Dominic says gently.
I sigh. I’m not sure how long we stand there. Dominic seems to understand that I don’t want to say anything, but I appreciate his presence. Before long, Aiden’s truck pulls up in front of us. His face is dark as he looks at us, killing the engine and sliding out to meet us.
“I heard what happened in there,” he says, glancing behind us at the festival. I follow his gaze and scowl. Hearing the laughter and chatter and fair music is like a slap in the face. “What did Margaret say?”
“I don’t even know anymore,” I reply, suddenly exhausted. “I just snapped. I just got sick of pretending like I don’t have this hatred for her inside me. Or like I didn’t enjoy burning down that fucking hotel.”
My brothers are quiet for a few moments, until Dominic clears his throat. “You guys want to get a beer?”
Harold’s Bar is just a few doors down, so I shrug. “Sure.”
The three of us walk in silence, with me flanked on either side by my brothers. Once again, I’m grateful that they’re not talkative. I’m not even sure what I would say. The way I feel right now is hard to describe. It’s like I have this searing pain in my chest, but at the same time the rest of me feels numb. When we sit down at the bar and I grab the beer that Harry puts in front of me, I can hardly feel the cool glass in my hand. My fingers are tingling slightly, but apart from that I feel nothing.
“She was the best thing that ever happened to me,” I say when I’ve drank half my beer.
My brothers don’t respond, and I take it as
agreement. She was the best thing I ever had, and now I’ve lost her. Her, and Bernie, and Audrey. All three of them are beyond my reach.
I lift my beer to my lips as my phone starts buzzing. Just when I reach into my pocket to grab it, Dominic’s phone starts ringing as well.
“Zoe,” I say, just as Dominic says “Mara.” We look at each other, and then at Aiden before answering the phones.
“Zoe,” I answer, breathless. My heart is beating furiously against my ribcage, when a minute ago my chest was hollow.
“She’s gone,” Zoe’s panicked voice answers. “Where is she!”
“Who’s gone? Slow down, babe, come on,” I say, my heart racing as I try to keep my voice calm.
“Audrey! I came to the hotel. I sent her to go find Mara and now she’s gone and the baby’s gone too!”
I can hear Mara’s panicked voice behind her and I glance at Dominic. The blood has drained from his face and my heart starts thumping.
“I’ll find her,” I answer. “I’m sending Aiden to get you.”
“Where did they go?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “But I’ll find her.”
I hang up the phone and all three of us stand up at the same time. Aiden tosses some money on the bar and stalks toward the door.
“Audrey and Hailey are gone,” I explain as we go outside. Dominic is seething beside me, his face completely white and his hands balled into fists. I look at Aiden. “They’re at the hotel. Go get Mara and Zoe. Dom, you go check your house and my house. Maybe Audrey took Hailey for a walk, or something. I’m going to head toward the airport.”
Both brothers stare at me. “Airport?” Aiden says with a raised eyebrow.
My face darkens.
“You think Margaret McCoy has something to do with this? Skipped town with the kids?” Dominic growls.
“I don’t know, but you know Margaret’s history of disappearing. You saw her face back there.”
Dominic nods and starts jogging toward his truck, parked down the street near the festival. I follow him and head toward mine. I nod to Aiden. “Call me when you’re with Zoe and Mara, and go check the community center and the rest of the hotel.”
Aiden nods without a word, and jogs toward his truck. I jump in the driver’s seat of my vehicle and start the engine, gripping the steering wheel with both hands and trying to ignore the thumping of my heart.
My blood runs cold with fear as I rush down Main Street toward the freeway. I press the pedal down a little bit further as my mouth goes dry. I need to keep my hands on the steering wheel to keep them from shaking. My phone rings, and I put Dominic on speaker.
“Not at my house,” he says. “I’ll check yours. Any luck?”
“Not yet,” I say with a strained voice. “Hold on, Aiden’s calling.” I hang up and answer Aiden’s call. “Yeah?”
“They’ve checked the hotel from top to bottom. They’re not here. The baby’s diaper bag is still here and there’s no sign of Audrey. It’s like they just disappeared into thin air.”
“Smells like Margaret,” I say through clenched teeth. Aiden grunts in response as my heart hammers in my chest. My eyes narrow as I stare down the highway, trying to see a car in front of me. If I’ve gone the wrong way, I’m speeding in the opposite direction and I’ll never find them.
My eyes widen at the thought. “Fuck,” I say under my breath. If Margaret did take them, she’ll be banking on me racing toward the airport. I’ll get there in three hours and by that time she’ll be long gone.
Following my instinct, I check my rear-view mirror and slow down to do a quick U-turn. Soon, my foot is pressing the pedal down and I’m racing back toward Lang Creek. My heart is in my throat and my vision is blurring along the edges. I lean forward until my chest is almost touching the steering wheel, and all I can do is take short, shallow breaths to keep myself from passing out.
I need to find them. Hailey is my niece, and Audrey is becoming like a daughter to me. My phone rings again and I see Zoe’s number.
“Ethan,” she says as I put her on speaker. The anguish in her voice pierced through my heart and I take a deep breath.
“I’ll find them, Zoe,” I say. “I promise.”
“I’m sorry,” she breathes. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about? Stop it, Zoe.” I struggle to say as a lump forms in my throat. “I love you and I love Audrey and I’m going to find them.”
She sobs, and my fear turns to anger. I’ll find them, and Margaret McCoy should pray for her life if she’s the one who took them.
35
Zoe
I’m shaking. Panic is coursing through my veins like a drug, and I cling to the dull hope that Audrey is somewhere safe with Hailey.
“Maybe Audrey took Hailey out for a walk,” Mara says, staring at me with the same blind look in her eyes. Her face is paler than I’ve ever seen it, and she’s shaking just as hard as I am. “You know how she loves to spend time with the baby.”
I try to swallow past the huge lump in my throat. I nod. “Maybe,” I reply. “It wouldn’t be like her to just take off like that though.” The stroller was still there as well, but I don’t mention that.
Mara says nothing. She stares out the window as Aiden drives us toward Ethan’s house. The anger I felt only an hour ago has completely disappeared. Now, I want nothing more than to feel Ethan’s arms around me and to have Audrey beside us. I’ve never felt happier than when I’m with both of them, and a lie that Ethan told to protect his brothers seems trivial now.
My heart is thumping as we drive up to the house. It’s completely dark, exactly how we left it this morning. Both Mara and I fall out of the truck and stumble toward the house. My hands are shaking as I try the doorknob and find it locked, and then struggle to fit the shiny new key that Ethan just gave me into the old lock. When I finally open it, we rush inside, but I already know the girls aren’t there.
Mara hangs onto my arm, her nails digging into me as she looks up at my face in anguish. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out, and I hear the soundless scream of her agony echoing with my own.
Aiden’s face is dark as he checks the yard. He comes back around the front and shakes his head. His lips form a thin line.
“Walk me through it again. When was the last time you saw the girls?”
“I was putting Hailey down for a nap,” Mara says impatiently. “I’ve already told you everything!”
“Go through it again.”
“I put Hailey down for a nap in the nursery and went over to the office. It’s just down the hall!” She says, clinging onto me. “I didn’t hear a thing! Audrey came up to me then, with the sales figures from yesterday. She said Katie had given them to her.”
“She did,” I say. “Katie was with me.”
“Then, Audrey left and I assumed she’d be with you. I finished my paperwork and went to check on Hailey, and…”
Aiden scowls. “Right. So either Audrey took Hailey somewhere, or somebody else took them both. They had to leave through the side door for neither of you guys to have seen them,” he reasons. “Who has access to the side door? Is it locked?”
Mara nods and I can see her struggling to swallow. She puts her hand to her forehead and takes a long, shuddering breath.
“Who would take them?” Mara says. Her face is drawn, and the pain is written all over it. I put my arm around her to distract myself from the pain in my chest.
I take a deep breath. “We left the festival after the scene with Ethan and Margaret. She was staring at me with such hatred,” I shiver, remembering the look the woman was giving me. “I was so focused on Ethan,” I continue.
I look at Mara. “Do you think…?”
Mara’s face crumples. “Do I think my own mother could have taken my daughter? Is that what you’re asking me, Zoe?”
My heart breaks all over again and tears start falling from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mara, I didn’t mean it.”
Mara laughs
, but there’s no humor in it. She shakes her head. “I’m upset because the answer is yes.” She looks at me and her eyes are so full of pain that it’s hard to hold her gaze. She shakes her head again and tears fall down her cheeks. “Yes, I think my mother took my daughter and yours, and I don’t know where she’s going or what she’ll do. I thought if I let her get to know Hailey, that maybe… I don’t know!” She says, staring up at the ceiling. She shakes her head. “Maybe we could fix this fucked up relationship. Maybe my mother could be a part of my life.”
She’s still holding onto my arm, and she squeezes it tighter. Fear grips my heart like a hand, squeezing the life out of me as Mara’s words sink in. She thinks her own mother took her daughter, and mine too. I don’t know if Audrey was just caught in the crossfire, or if Margaret has some malicious intent toward me, too.
“Right,” Aiden says, and we both jump. His voice is deep and commanding. “We’re going to operate on the assumption that Margaret has the girls. Where would she go?”
“I have no fucking idea,” I respond, looking at Mara for an answer.
She shakes her head, and tears keep falling down her cheeks. “I realized when she left last time that I know nothing about her. I don’t even know who my mother is.”
I wrap my arms around Mara and squeeze her close, then pull away and put my hands on her arms.
“Mara, you’re the strongest woman I’ve met in a long time. You gave birth to your daughter in your own house without a complaint, and we are not going to let that woman take our girls away from us.”
Mara nods, and I look at Aiden. “Where do we look?”
“Well, Ethan has gone in the direction of the airport. He’ll try to overtake her, but it’s unlikely that she’ll be taking the highway, so he might have to drive to the airport and wait it out.”
“The airport is hours away! What if she didn’t go to the airport?” I ask, glancing at the wilderness that surrounds us. “She could be anywhere.”
Aiden’s face darkens and he grunts. Despair starts seeping into my bloodstream, and I fight to hold it off. This is all too much. From my mother’s death, to finding out about Ethan and the fire, to now losing Audrey, I feel like every strand of love in my life is slowly, tortuously being unraveled. The pain is almost too much to bear.
The Clarke Brothers (Complete Series) Page 47