by Andrea Wolfe
Well, as long as it didn't involve sleeping with him or something, it couldn't hurt to try, could it?
The rest of the day passed by in a haze. I felt delirious, like I was sick with the flu, minus any real symptoms. The world was hard to perceive and understand as it stood.
I came to a couple of conclusions as the day dragged on, night rapidly overwhelming the city. No, I wasn't ready to ask Jack for help, especially not since I had temporarily broken things off with him in an attempt to assert my dominance as a functioning, productive, working member of society. I didn't want to be wishy-washy.
I didn't want to tell Jesse about it either. He didn't need any additional stress from me, especially not when my poor decisions could negatively affect his living situation. I had to do whatever it took to ensure that my fuck up stayed as far away from him as possible.
The burden would have to fall on my parents. I couldn't subject anyone else to it. They had already witnessed me at my most humble more than one time in my life. I would probably be scolded, but I guess a verbal lashing would be better than being homeless and penniless.
As I prepared to attempt to dial my mom's number, Jesse knocked on my door. "Hey, Effie. Do you want me to deliver the checks tomorrow?" He talked through the wood, and I was okay with that.
Fuck.
"Uh. You don't have to," I said. "You always do it, so I guess it's my turn."
He opened the door and stuck his head in. "Effie, it's really no problem. I know the landlord well. He's super nice."
I gulped, hoping that it wasn't too apparent that I had been sobbing. I needed an excuse. "I don't know where my checkbook is right now and I wanna finish this movie first. Just let me take the checks to him, okay?"
He looked at my buried position on the bed, my whole body under the blankets, my laptop sitting on my chest. "Yeah, okay. Just don't forget!" he said.
"Yeah, yeah, Jesse. I won't." Little did he know, rent was essentially the only fucking thing I could think about, even with the movie blasting from my speakers.
He went back to his room after that and my heart rate slowed to normal. Dammit, I wasn't going to be able to call my mom tonight. Today had been rough enough to me already. I would call her tomorrow—if I could physically bring myself to do it.
I really wanted to think about Jack. Every moment that I spent thinking about him calmed me, brought me back to that place where everything seemed to effortless and obvious. And then, I'd return to the very painful fact that I didn't have a plan for myself.
Back and forth, all night long.
***
The next morning I awoke covered in sweat, my dreams having been nothing but nightmares. My plan for the day involved calling my mother and begging for both help and forgiveness. I wasn't going to tell her that I lost my job, just that I had overspent like an idiot and needed money until my next paycheck. I couldn't even start to explain to her why I had lost my job.
I couldn't even imagine how badly that would have gone.
Yeah, mom, I lost my job because I got fixated on this hot guy who I've only known for about a month who’s been perfect to me who happened to be a potential client at the record label. I definitely used my best judgment, I swear. You gotta believe me!
After I got her approval—I was convinced I could pull this off; that didn't make it something I was looking forward to, however—I would write my check and take the checks to the landlord and ask him not to cash it for a couple of days. Shouldn't be a problem at all, and it would give me some breathing room.
I paced around the apartment for most of the morning, making myself some eggs and more shitty coffee instead of calling. By the time I actually picked up the phone to even attempt the deed, it was mid-afternoon.
Very surprisingly, I managed to choose her from the contacts on my second try. I started laughing when I realized she had a call tone, something I would have assumed she would have labeled a waste of money. It was a soothing snippet of classical music, one that was far funnier—and far less soothing—than I should have found it. When I heard her voice, my amusement ended abruptly.
"Effie? Hi."
"Hi, mom," I said quietly. "What's up?"
"Your father and I are on a shopping trip. We're going to pick out some new furniture and then get groceries. That cats did a number on that old couch."
"That's cool," I said, feigning interest the very best I could.
"You haven't called in so long. We've missed you!"
I knew that was coming. "But you always keep me posted with your texts. And it's so busy here."
"I suppose I do, and I suppose you're right. What's new with you? Are you on your lunch break or something?
Well, that was one thing I hadn't considered very well. I guess I was going to straight up lie.
"Yeah, just having a quick bite to eat. Listen," I said, pausing to try and keep my composure. "I, uh..."
Through some maternal magic, she sensed my unrest. "Is something the matter, Effie? Did something happen? Do you need money?"
She had pressed that button and I was helpless. And she mentioned money before I did! I started to sob again, but I wasn't about to be totally honest. "I don't have enough money for rent and I won't get paid for another week."
"Honey, I told you—"
"I'm so sorry," I whined, sniffling between each word, interrupting her before she rubbed more salt in the wound.
"I think it's clear you know you messed up," she said, apparently trying to attach a lesson to her approval. "And I'm not going to turn away my only child."
"What?" I asked, confused by how easily she was giving in.
"Effie, you know we haven't been that open with each other. I'm just glad you came to me to ask for help. It shows that you trust me. You can always tell me anything."
God, I couldn't believe how frail I had become. I felt even worse now about lying, realizing that she was using my moment of weakness to try to rekindle our relationship. It was okay. "Thanks, Mom," I said sheepishly. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"You know how much we love you. We're so proud that our daughter has a job in New York City! Everyone is so excited when we tell them."
I knew she was just trying to be nice, but I needed to end this because I was about to become even more of a wreck than I already was after witnessing her pride. "Mom, I have to go back to work now. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Call us anytime. When we get home, I'll transfer the money to your account."
"Thank you so much," I said, meaning it more than I ever had in my life. "I love you guys."
"We love you, too."
The call ended and my crying began again. A different sort of tears this time.
***
My hands shook as I carried the checks to the landlord's "office." It was room on the ground floor with an open door and a desk inside. Although I was fairly sanguine about my situation in that moment, I still retained my doubts.
I didn't want to be that person, the one that always needed just a couple extra days.
It'll never happen again, I swear!
After lightly slapping myself on my cheek, I took a deep breath and moved on. There was no reason to assume the worst about this. I hadn't done anything yet, and as far as the landlord was concerned, I had always paid on time. This wasn't about to become a habit.
When I got into the office, the landlord was seated at his desk, staring at a computer screen that was facing away from me.
"Hi, Mr. Hunter" I said meekly.
He looked away from the screen, somewhat surprised by my appearance. Mr. Hunter was an older man—I think he was fast-approaching eighty, per Jesse's insider info—who had lived in this building his whole life. I had talked to him a little bit when I first signed the amended lease, learning about his daughter that lived in Seattle and his dog, Terri, an aptly named Yorkshire terrier.
The dog's bed was empty at that moment. "I'm sorry," he said, scrunching up his features and squinting through his gl
asses. "What was your name again? I definitely remember you. I'm sorry."
"I'm Effie. From 317 with Jesse Carver."
"Oh, yes, yes, Jesse. I was expecting to see him today. I always like our monthly chats."
Great decision, Effie. Now you're depriving him of his favorite encounter of the month.
"I'm sorry. I decided to give him a break this month. He's been working longer hours than usual."
"Aren't you just the sweetest, then, huh?" He smiled at me and moved his hands from the keyboard and mouse to the middle of the desk. "Jesse's a real hard worker, I can tell. And you can call me Edwin."
I continued to awkwardly hold the checks in my hand, not sure if I should hand them over before asking him for the extension or not. "I can take those," he said, clearing up my confusion immediately. I leaned forward and breathed slowly as I handed him the checks.
"Listen, Edwin," I said, swallowing a lump in my throat. "Is it possible to wait a couple of days to cash my check? The money should be in my account by tomorrow or the day after."
He laughed. "I can always tell when someone's nervous about something." Edwin didn't say anything after that, but clicked away at his computer again.
I stood in an awkward silence, waiting for something to happen. I fake laughed. "Yeah, I just hate inconveniencing people. I always feel bad even when people say it's no problem."
"Let me check the records." A concerned look broke out across his face, further contributing to my growing horror. I felt wobbly and disoriented, so I discreetly—and calmly—sat down in the chair next to me. He eyed the checks carefully, looking over the antiquated frames of his glasses as he attempted to identify some apparently minute detail.
"Is everything all right?" I asked, my voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. I suddenly doubted my ability to pay rent at all. Had I forgotten to pay for the last few months or something?
"I can't accept this, miss," he said, sliding my check back toward me.
A whole macabre chorus of alarms went off inside of me. I didn't know what this was, but it sounded fucking scary as hell.
"What's the matter?" I stammered. "Is everything okay?"
Edwin seemed to freeze up as if confused. "There's no trouble. Your account is in the black. For the rest of the year. I'm not going to keep taking money. It'd make me a greedy landlord." He smirked.
I took in a huge gulp of air, as my mind struggled to come to terms with this development. In a way, it felt like I was at some awards ceremony, receiving something that literally made no sense for me to receive. "I don't understand." I said it at the exact moment I thought it.
"Your, uh, brother, came by yesterday. Paid me cash. Real nice fella."
"My brother?" Had I stumbled into a sci-fi movie by mistake? Was this identity theft or something? My eyes stared at the floor. "I'm an only child."
"Miss, that's between you and God. Or whatever you subscribe to. Money's there, nothing you can do about now. Jack convinced me to take it. And he said he was your brother."
That sneaky little fucker! A devious smile broke out across my lips when I heard him say it, but I fought it, trying not to be too obvious about it. God, and what a creep. My brother?
Just play along, even if it's gross.
"Wow!" I said. "What a surprise. I can't believe it." It sounded like I had read it off a teleprompter. Edwin didn't seem to notice.
"Well, he surprised me too. Said he had good reason for it. Family inheritance that he wanted to share or something. I don't give a damn one way or another. Money's all money to me."
I heard some tapping on the door behind Edwin and he leaned back and opened it. Terri ran out of the room, bounding in my direction and hopping on my leg. I wholeheartedly welcomed the whimsical distraction.
"You old fool!" Edwin called. "Leave the customers alone. Get in your bed." Terri didn't listen.
"It's okay," I said, smiling and petting the dog's soft fur. "She's fun." I guess the landlord was the only one allowed to have pets in this building. The dog seemed just as excited as I was. It softened me a lot. Terri oozed unconditional love, her tail wagging back and forth with a frenetic energy that I could never match.
"It's less fun when you deal with her every day and night. She never tires out."
"I can imagine." I grabbed the stray check on the desk and neatly ripped it into quarters before shoving the pieces into my pocket. Edwin seemed to be focusing on his computer screen again, so I decided to make my exit. "I'm gonna sneak out," I said. "Thanks again, Edwin."
"Don't thank me," he said. "Thank your buddy, Jack."
"I'll try."
Edwin tried to regain control of Terri and succeeded this time. The dog settled into the oversized plush bed and suddenly looked comically small next to the huge doggie furniture, which added to the already overwhelming cuteness.
I stepped into the hall and made my way back up the stairs, feeling like every step I reached was another accomplishment independent of the one that came before it. Honestly, I felt somewhat euphoric but also uncertain. Something told me there was some condition attached to Jack's gesture, something that I hadn't uncovered just yet.
After walking back in the apartment—I had left it unlocked, assuming that I wouldn't be long; probably not the best idea, but whatever—I sat down at the table and poured myself a totally rotten cup of coffee. It tasted like shit, but hey, why did I care? My day tasted better already.
I realized I needed to get in contact with Jack. He had done this without my input, and while I was a little disappointed to rely on his charity—defending my honor still felt like a real thing whether it was stupid or not—this brought a ton of relief. I had some time to get my shit together, some time to reflect on the bullshit that had taken place. Sam had been literally vicious, like a rabies-stricken dog. Had I stuck around, he probably would have ripped my throat out until my blood soaked the carpet in the office.
I wasn't ready to die.
Fueled by some fresh caffeine, I went head-to-head with my broken phone. My patience was freshly renewed after the surprise downstairs, so I figured now was the time to make a move. I sat down on my bed, staring through the broken glass, trying my hardest to navigate my contacts.
I got Jack centered on the screen, but every time I pressed his name, it chose the contact directly above or below.
"Dammit." I was clenching my teeth. The very simple act was feeling quite arduous, as I predicted it would.
I kept my cool, but yeah, this was tough. Finally, I got his number centered on the screen and slowly brought my finger against the green call button. I delicately tapped against it, hoping not to accidentally trigger some other part of the screen.
Bam! I got it. The call began. I fell onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
"Hello?" Jack's voice carried a hint of sarcasm, like he knew exactly why I was calling him before I said anything.
"Hi, Jack. Do you have something you'd like to say to me?"
I heard what sounded like some papers shuffling around. "I miss you."
Was he going to play dumb? Maybe he didn't think I would have noticed.
"Jack, I think there's something else you need to tell me." I held my ground.
He quietly laughed. "Maybe you need to tell me something. Like thanks."
"Jack, you asshole! I didn't ask for anything." I wasn't sure if I was actually perturbed about his random act of kindness or not.
His quiet laughing became a guffaw, and I couldn't help but join in. "I'm going to stay at my suite tonight. Where we first met. I want you to come stay with me."
"We first met at MCI," I reminded him. "I don't wanna stay there."
"I'm not kidding. We need to talk. Seriously."
I dug my toes into the comforter on the bed, my free hand mindlessly toying with my hair. "At the Palace?"
"Yeah. I'll send a car whenever you're ready."
"But I never agreed to anything," I said, delicately walking the line between saying yes and no.
> "Effie, I'm serious." He actually did sound serious, free from his usual jovial tone. "I've been thinking about this a lot and we need to talk about it."
This was weird but in a good way. I had called him to talk, and here he was asking me to talk while we talked. "Okay, Jack. You're on."
"Okay. I need to finish up some work, but after that, anytime is good. Do you want me to make dinner?"
"Sure." I had nothing better to do.
"So six-thirty is okay?"
"Yeah."
"Be ready then," he said. "See ya, Effie."
The call ended and I sat there in silence. I figured he had some apology to give, some insight into why things were happening as they were. I was intrigued for sure, but I had no idea what direction this would go.
And now my fucking apartment was paid off for the rest of the year. Was he just trying to make me some slacker who sat at home all day doing nothing? I didn't like that idea one bit—but then I realized it was actually up to me to find another job. I had one less bill to pay for the time being, and that wasn't bad. I wondered if should I call my mom and tell her to call off the money transfer.
No, not yet. She liked that she had the opportunity to help me after I had turned her away so many times in the past. My humbling of myself had actually turned out to be a good thing.
I packed some clothes in my backpack and sat there on my computer, watching episodes of TV shows instead of looking for jobs. I didn't know what Jack had up his sleeve, but wondering about it was really driving me crazy. I couldn't focus on anything. In this situation, mindless entertainment would distract me better than job searching, I was sure of that.
Obsessively watching the clock, I allowed the day to fade away slowly. I needed to savor these long summer nights, because winter would be arriving soon and it would be cold as hell. Why couldn't it just be summer forever?
Finally, it was time. The limo was waiting outside, ready to take me to that fancy hotel where all of my troubles had really begun. Jesse hadn't arrived home, so I left him a note on the table that just said "Out with Jack."