by S M Mala
She didn’t want to remember in March when she felt at an all-time low, worried about money and supporting her and a baby. With the news of her father dying, her devastation seemed more intense.
‘I had to make sure the mortgage was covered, the gas and electric were paid for. I inherited some money from my father’s estate so that helped. Eventually, Harry handed over some cash. I understand why the women in the refuge return to their men.’ Sophie closed her eyes. ‘Sometimes desperation makes you do stupid things.’
He pushed her off and took the book off the side, opening the front page before turning to look at her.
‘Read this,’ he said, handing it over.
She took the book and looked down.
‘Soph, I love you. Be with me. Jonah.’
Speechless, she read it again and again before looking at him.
‘You see, Sophie James.’ Then he frowned. ‘Is that still your name?’
‘I’ve changed it back to Mills,’ she replied, watching him start to smile.
‘Good,’ Jonah said, kissing her forehead. ‘I knew as soon as I saw you this morning that was it. I was going to be with you and Milly.’
‘Are you sure?’ Sophie started to laugh at his offended expression.
‘Does Harry know where you live?’
‘No, and please don’t tell him. I don’t relish the idea of him turning up on my doorstep. He’s not allowed in a one-mile radius of me. That was another agreement. I think he liked that one.’
Sophie read the words on the page while thinking hard.
‘I got tested for sexual infections and everything after we split.’ Sophie whispered. ‘I wasn’t sure how safe he’d been and luckily all was good. I was mad, to be honest, and I felt pretty dirty.’ She could see Jonah getting upset. ‘But I came through it and I’m as fine as can be.’ Kissing his cheek, she shut the book and held it against her bare breasts. ‘This is special.’
‘Do you feel the same way?’ he asked, stroking her face.
‘What do you mean?’
‘As I wrote in the book. Tell me.’
‘I love you and I want to be with you, but it’s not going to be easy. Especially when it comes to Harry.’
‘I’m in love!’
He sang loudly when he got back home the following morning. ‘Love, love, love!’
‘And I’m in pain with your out of tune warble,’ said Ross, packing a case. ‘I take it all went well.’
‘It went amazingly!’ he replied, throwing himself onto the sofa. ‘And I love you too! Why didn’t you tell me? Ah, she asked you not to.’
‘Ah, you look very well for someone who spent the night in the home of your agent’s wife and baby.’
‘Ex-wife and he doesn’t want anything to do with Milly.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘Got a job in Barcelona for a few days.’ He stopped walking about and grinned. ‘Should I ask about Onya?’
‘You can ask but it’s over. Sophie won’t share me and I don’t want her to.’ He rested his head against the back of the couch and grinned. ‘I want her all to myself.’
They waited for Amelia to have her morning nap and then went straight back to bed.
This time, nothing held Sophie back.
And the sex was full on but still a little quiet.
He had buried his head where he wanted to, kissing her until she came, and then her mouth had caressed him so gently; he had to stop himself from doing the same between her lips.
But there was no doubting it. Sophie was the best sex he had ever had.
Even if she were the worse, he would have helped her along but there was no need.
The woman knew what to do with very little coaxing.
In daylight, she looked soft, round and he would have gladly buried himself in her body forever. Knowing he had a busy Thursday, Jonah would have preferred to go back to bed with her.
‘Snap out of it, photo man,’ he heard Ross say, holding out coffee. ‘Loved up as you are, this is not going to end on a happy note.’
‘They’re not together.’
‘But you’re with him, and look what he has done for you. Are you going to tell him to stick it as you stick it in his ex? Pardon, the expression.’
‘Ross, I love her and she loves me.’ Jonah sipped the hot drink and smiled. ‘He doesn’t want her and the child, but I do. Milly’s so pretty. She looks like her mum.’
‘I see you’re not listening to a word I say.’ Ross sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. ‘Understandable. Sophie’s one hot woman and this will land you in hotter water, but on the other hand, I don’t like Harry.’
‘So you didn’t set this up for me and her to meet?’ he asked, seeing Ross try to stop his grin. ‘All because you don’t like him?’
‘Listen, he did something bad that night when he came round. Reminded me of my kid brother when he used to get in trouble with the police. All so shifty and guilty.’
Jonah remembered what Sophie said and Ross cottoned onto it.
There was no holding back as he relayed to Ross what had happened.
‘Take her! Fuck him! What a bastard shit!’ It looked like Ross was going to explode. ‘I never told you this but my dad used to knock my mum around, and it’s wrong! Why didn’t she call the police or you?’ Then he grimaced. ‘Because she believed what he said?’
‘I think she didn’t know what to think.’
‘And shagging some woman on the baby changing table? What sort of man does that?’
‘Harry James.’ Jonah stood up. ‘I came back for some clothes and a bag. I’m going to stay round Soph’s for a while. We need to catch up and I wasted enough time without her.’
‘Slow down,’ said Ross, looking up at him. ‘She has had a hard time and needs to get used to you being on the scene.’
‘It feels right,’ he replied, stretching out and wishing he was with her. ‘I can’t explain.’
‘And how are you going to explain this to Harry and Onya?’
‘I’m working on it.’
‘Is she asleep?’
Jonah was standing by Amelia’s room as Sophie stroked her baby’s head. The little child seemed to have a smile on her lips as she slept. ‘Have the hiccups gone?’
‘You made her laugh too much,’ she whispered, turning to look at him.
The pang of happiness hit her chest when she examined him standing barefoot, wearing old jeans and a t-shirt. He arrived late afternoon and played with Amelia, much to the little girl’s delight.
She could tell her child was also smitten with him.
It was hard not to be.
‘What do you want to do?’ he whispered, and she knew from his smile what was on his mind.
‘We have to be quiet.’
‘I can be silent.’
‘Jonah, you look well, do you know that?’
‘Sophie, you always look well.’ He grinned. ‘Will you come to my studio this weekend so we can sort out the prints?’
‘I have to pay you.’
‘Pay me in kind.’
‘Jonah.’
‘They’re yours, and you are mine, so no cost.’ Jonah put out his hand so she would take it. ‘You are mine, aren’t you?’
‘Back on the scene for only a few minutes and you’re being demanding already.’ Grabbing his palm, she pulled him away from the bedroom and towards the kitchen. ‘And I know we only saw each other yesterday for the first time in ages and talked a bit, but we do need to sort out me and you.’
‘Bed then talk.’
‘Listen to me. You can’t tell Harry about us.’ Sophie noticed he frowned before letting out a big sigh. ‘He’s not going to be happy.’
‘I’m angry with him, Soph. He never told me anything and I didn’t want to ask.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Because I would have dropped everything to come and find you.’
‘I’m not sure
you would have.’ She touched his face, looking at his strong jaw. ‘The reason you didn’t want to ask is that you probably didn’t want to know.’
‘That’s unfair.’
‘Is it?’ She noticed he scowled in response. ‘You didn’t split with Onya, though you said you were unhappy.’
‘That was-.’
‘I want to make sure there are no mixed messages.’
‘Like what?’
‘You’re bullshitting me for a screw.’
‘When we spoke last, you were upset. I went away and all I could think about was you.’ Jonah shook his head and looked down before glaring up at her.
‘While you screwed her?’ She bit her lip and avoided eye contact momentarily, before looking back. ‘Don’t play me for a fool like he did. That’s not what I deserve.’
‘You deserve better than that.’ Jonah moved closer and placed his palm against her face. ‘I guess you don’t trust me. How could you?’
‘You should have told me about the others.’
‘You were pregnant. How would that have helped?’
‘At least I wouldn’t have got slapped in the face when I saw it first-hand. I was scared of the man I married. And then when the blood dropped onto my baby’s head, I was frightened she’d got hurt.’ Feeling the tears scraping her eyes, she didn’t want to cry. ‘He’s angry; I saw it with my own eyes and furious that I’ve got some of his money for his flesh and blood. How’s he going to feel if he ever gets wind you and I slept together?’
She was surprised when he kissed her quite hard and held onto her face as he stared into her eyes.
‘I’m not like him. You should know that. And I’ll never let you down because I love you. I probably have for a long time but I never thought you’d feel the same way about me.’
‘Please don’t be with me then go back to Onya. I’d hate that more than you’d ever know.’ Letting out a little sigh of frustration, he moved closer and kissed her again. ‘I think we should cool it until you’re sorted with her. It’s only fair.’
Even she couldn’t believe what she was saying, but no way was she going to sink to that tart’s level.
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘No, we’re not going to cool it. I’ll speak to her tomorrow, and tell her we’re over.’
‘And where did you say you were tonight?’
‘Working on a special project.’
‘Are you going to work on me?’ Sophie asked, before starting to laugh and noticed his eyes travelled across her breasts.
He pushed her into the bedroom, making sure to close the door.
Sophie took in a sharp intake of breath when he pulled off his t-shirt and undid his jeans.
Suddenly she felt self-conscious, remembering his stick thin woman humped a cheating Harry.
‘I need to lose weight,’ she suddenly blurted out. ‘It’s harder to shift than I thought.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I should have started exercising a while back, but I never did.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with you.’ Jonah walked up to her in his underpants and frowned. ‘Whatever he said about you was wrong. You’re perfect.’
‘He told me a few choice parting words,’ she replied, remembering his ‘too fat to fuck’ comment.
Shaking her head, she forced a smile then drew the blinds, blocking some of the light out. He stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, before stroking all the way down to her fingers.
She could have had an orgasm from that one action.
Then he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck while pulling her towards the bed.
Sophie knew she was confused about what was happening.
Yes, he told her he loved her, and she did believe him.
She let out a sad sigh.
‘What’s’ wrong?’ he asked, turning to look at her with a puzzled expression. ‘What was that for?’
‘Just thinking.’
‘About what?’
‘You.’
‘I see it in your eyes. That look of mistrust. Do you know you used to look at Harry like that?’ His face creased in pain. ‘That’s not how I want you to look at me. I love you and I want to be with you.’
‘How can you know that after a few days?’
‘Did you think about me?’ he whispered, leaning down.
Now she had to be honest, as she had nothing to lose.
‘All the time.’
‘Me too.’ Then he smiled. ‘Let me show you how much I love you.’
He started to slowly undress her, all the time looking into her eyes. When she was in her underwear, he slowly sank to his knees, kissing down from her throat until he got to her stomach.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he whispered into her skin. ‘And I love you.’ Sophie looked down at him looking up, stroking his thick mop of hair. ‘I don’t want anyone else.’
Then he pushed his nose into her knickers as she held her breath, hoping she smelt fresh. His tongue was pushing through the material, trying to nibble at her. She felt his hot breath against her most intimate area. Slowly he removed her knickers.
His tongue now touched her and she stood, gently stroking his hair.
Closing her eyes, she felt his movement and how her body was reacting to him. His hand had caressed her breast before his mouth moved in deeper.
‘Let’s go to bed,’ she groaned, knowing if she came, her body might simply collapse from excitement.
Jonah kissed all the way up her body and she smelt her scent on his face, unsure whether to kiss him.
Sophie had always disliked the way Harry would want to kiss her afterwards as if making a point of what he had done. It made her dislike her scent even more.
But when Jonah kissed her, her scent was sweet.
He kissed her neck, then walked her to bed, laying Sophie down before opening her thighs. His head went back to where it had been and she bent her legs in anticipation.
Second by second he teased her, rubbing her gently until she gasped; unable to hold onto the pulling of her groin and tightening of her hole, coming very quickly.
Jonah didn’t stop.
He carried on until she came again and she panted in shock as he fingered her very quickly before turning her around. Raising her bottom higher, he pushed himself inside, as she rested on her elbows.
Then her body was raised up so he could get closer while holding into her hip with one hand as the other hand squeezed her breast. His lips remained on her neck and she gulped hard, hoping not to choke, then came again; squeezing the dear life out of what was between her legs.
Her muscles contracted around him and she heard him groan, the sound vibrating through her hair and body, as he continued to screw her. Then she felt his skin against hers as he held her tightly while gently pulling her down onto the bed.
They stayed joined for a while as she listened to his heavy breathing and felt his hands explore her body.
The thing she realised is that Jonah made love to her.
In the handful of times they had been together, she felt a connection to him she never had done with Harry.
And for the first time in ages, she felt happy, and both physically and emotionally loved.
‘Why meet for breakfast?’
Onya’s greeting was that of confusion and frustration. ‘I need to get to work.’
Jonah felt like he was walking on air.
His mind and body had been taken over by his desperate love for Sophie.
Now he had to tie up one of the loose, and dangling ends in his life. He would have to be honest with Onya.
For the past year he had lived a lie regarding how he felt about her.
Now was the time to put it straight.
There was no smile from Onya as he sat down.
‘I’m starving,’ Jonah said, not kissing her on the cheek but reaching for the menu. ‘Did you have a good night?’
Glancing at her, he could see she was tired by
the amount of powder on her skin, and concealer under the eyes.
‘I’m not hungry,’ she replied, sipping her coffee. ‘What’s on your mind?’
‘We need to talk.’
‘Have you looked at any properties?’
‘No,’ he replied, turning to a waiter. ‘Could I have the full breakfast with fried eggs and wholemeal toast, plus a cappuccino?’
‘Certainly,’ the man said, walking off.
‘Jonah, you’re not trying, are you?’ Onya groaned, looking at her phone and scowling. ‘This weekend I thought we’d set time aside and speak to some estate agents.’
Examining the busy café off Hatton Garden, he looked at the people talking over breakfast. He wished he had stayed at Sophie’s to share some cornflakes but knew he had to nip Onya in the bud.
Sitting in front of her, he didn’t quite know how to start off, so waited for his coffee.
What he didn’t expect was to see her examining him closely.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked, leaning closer. ‘You’re giving off some glow.’
‘Excited about work, I guess,’ he guiltily replied.
The light hit her face and he noticed something which he had never done before.
There was a harshness in her expression. A steely resolve behind the eyes which showed she got what she wanted. From how she was looking, she wanted him.
‘Harry said he didn’t know what project you were working on,’ she whispered, now starting to smile. ‘Am I going to get an invite for when you go off again in a few weeks?’
Jonah’s smile slipped.
He had forgotten about the shoot.
The idea of not being with Sophie was totally incomprehensible right now.
Sipping his drink, he smiled for a moment, remembering being in bed with Sophie and Amelia in his arms. The happiness he felt was insurmountable. They were a family, and he loved those two females more than anything else.
‘I need to eat something,’ he said, feeling little butterflies in his gut, knowing he had to check in with Natalie regarding meetings that day.
‘I have to be at the gallery,’ she huffed, sitting back in her chair. ‘You know we’re busy right now. My boss, Gwendolyn, was asking if you would consider putting up some of your work after the exhibition finishes.’