by Jen Calonita
Spa day (hallelujah) w/ Laney, Liz, Mom – Oct. 5
Six: Bliss Interrupted
Liz sighs. “Tell me again why we don’t do this more often?” Her voice is muffled. Our heads are buried deep in plush face pillows as we lie on side-by-side massage tables at the Argyle Salon and Spa in West Hollywood getting four-hand massages. (Two massage therapists working on one person. It’s pure heaven!)
“We should make a weekly appointment.” I feel relaxed and woozy from the scent of the Jacqua Buttercream Frosting lotion that Liz and I requested for our massage. “I think I might have to reserve us a permanent room here.”
“If you don’t, I’ll ask Dad to do it for us,” Liz says, her voice jumping as the therapists pound her back. “I still can’t believe this was your mom’s idea.”
“I know.” The masseuses are busy working out the tiny knots that have taken up permanent residence in my neck and shoulders thanks to the recent bashings in Hollywood Nation and on Celeb Insider this week about my supposed bad behavior on set. I could blame them on Sky. She seemed agitated when we had that confrontation outside my dressing room after Alexis’s line-tweaking delay last week. And she’s done it countless times before. But Sky doesn’t seem immune to the bad press either. No, Nadine and I have talked about it and we’re convinced Alexis is behind this latest wave. Not that we have proof, but Nadine is working on it, and until she has it, I’m determined to keep quiet. I just don’t understand Alexis’s motive. She’s getting enough great press to last for years. Why is she determined to take us down in the process?
“Mom even had Nadine cancel an interview I had today so that my schedule would be clear,” I add. “She said I needed a day off.”
“That’s a first,” Liz teases, her voice echoing in the cavernous room. Mom reserved Argyle’s oversize spa suite, which can host up to eight people at a time, and invited me, Liz, and Laney (I thought Nadine would be upset about not being included, but she was thrilled to have a “Laney-free day,” as she put it). The room is like a super-lush hotel suite, with fabulous silk drapes and a giant ninety-eight-gallon soaking tub for body treatments that is filled with rose petals and tiny candles. There was even a breakfast spread waiting for us when Rodney dropped us off. Since the spa is tucked inside the Sunset Tower Hotel, you can have meals catered to your room. Laney had a breakfast, and Mom said she had an appointment, so neither of them will be here till eleven, which is fine by me, because it gives Liz and me some much-needed bonding time.
“We’re finished, Kaitlin,” one of my masseuses whispers in my ear. “Take your time getting up. The herbal tea you requested is waiting for you on the table. Your manicure and pedicure appointments will start in half an hour.”
“Thank you.” I sigh happily. “That was incredible.” We both lie on our tables till we hear the door close, and then Liz and I slowly get up, tuck ourselves into the plush white robes and slippers the staff have left behind, and meander over to the couch. On our packed schedules today are a group manicure and pedicure, facials, and then private body wraps. Liz and I chose the Argyle Signature body wrap, which is a mix of avocado, chocolate, almond, coconut, clove, cinnamon, orange, and vanilla. I rest my head on a pillow and breath in the deep scent of freesia that pervades the low-lit room. The only sound I hear is ocean waves, courtesy of the relaxation CD playing in the room. “I want to hear everything you’ve been up to this week.”
“I think they should make this place a prerequisite for taking the SATs,” says Liz, her wild curly brown hair tucked in a ponytail and a Louis Vuitton head scarf. “That’s honestly all I’ve been doing — studying. That and working with Daniella on your movie. Wait till you see some of the scenes at the private screening in December, Kates. You look so fierce. You’re definitely going to give Angelina Jolie a run for her money in the action business.”
“I don’t know about that.” I laugh. My face feels so fresh for a change. Maybe that’s because my ivory complexion isn’t covered under a mask of foundation and bronzer. I didn’t even wash my hair this morning. Instead, I fixed it into a low bun to keep the creams and oils away from my highlights. “Did I tell you I asked Monique to give me some SAT practice tests? They’re really hard, but I think they’re helping. I may not know what I’m doing about college, but at least if I get a good score, I’ll have options.”
“I think that’s really smart, Kates,” Liz agrees.
“Oh, I’ve got some other news too. I think I’ve figured out the perfect birthday gift for Austin.” I can’t help but smile at the thought. “You know how he loves watching NASCAR? Well, I talked to Rodney and he said that the Las Vegas Mo-tor Raceway gives rides on the track. I thought we could fly to Vegas on his birthday — it’s only an hour flight — and he could be a passenger in a race car. Then we can have dinner at SW Steakhouse at Wynn Las Vegas before flying back. What do you think?”
Liz frowns and her eyes shift downward.
“You hate the idea, don’t you?” I worry. “Why? Do you think it’s too over the top? I thought taking Austin somewhere rather than buying him an expensive present would make him less uncomfortable. Do you think I’m wrong? Or is it our moms? I didn’t think about this, but maybe they won’t want us flying out of state for a date.”
“Kates, calm down,” Liz says gently. “I think Austin would love the idea.” I breathe a sigh of relief. “But there’s still a problem.”
“What?” I bite my lip.
“Austin’s birthday falls on Homecoming this year, which wouldn’t be a big deal except that yesterday the nominations were announced for Homecoming court.” Liz pauses. “Austin is up for the court. That means he’s supposed to ride in the Homecoming game parade. Technically, he doesn’t have to go to the dance, so I guess he could go to Vegas in the afternoon, but I’ve never heard of a nominee bailing on the dance. Maybe he could forfeit his nomination,” Liz suggests.
I shake my head. “That’s silly. I’ll do the Vegas thing another day.”
Liz smiles. “Definitely!”
“I wonder why Austin didn’t say anything about the nomination,” I question. “We went out for sushi last night and he didn’t say a word.”
“You know boys,” Liz says dismissively. “He didn’t tell me either. He told Josh. Josh said Austin knew you’d been planning a birthday surprise and he didn’t want to disappoint you. Josh told him to ask you to the dance instead, but Austin didn’t think you’d want to go after what happened at the Spring Fling.”
“The paparazzi showing up and ruining the school dance again wouldn’t make me that popular with the student body,” I agree. “I’d be banned from Clark for life.” I look up at the creamy white ceiling hoping for an answer. “The dance sounds fun,” I say. “And if it’s on Austin’s birthday and he has to go, that’s where I want to be too. I wish there was a way I could go with him.”
We’re both quiet for a minute. Then Liz says, “Why can’t you? What if the paparazzi had no idea you were going to be at the dance?”
“They’ll find out.” I frown. “They always do.”
“Not if Austin thinks you’re not going to the dance either.” Liz sounds excited now. “This is what you do: Tell Austin you just found out you have reshoots for Pretty Young Assassins on his birthday. Apologize profusely and tell him you’ll celebrate with him on Sunday instead. Austin’s such a good sport, he’ll feel obligated to go to the dance and won’t feel bad about it anymore. When people ask if you’re going to be his date, he’ll obviously say no. The press will think you’re not going. Then, that night, you can show up at the last minute, when it’s too late to alert the paparazzi. That would be the ultimate birthday surprise!”
“Liz, you’re a genius.” I hug her. “I’ll take Austin to Vegas on Sunday. He’ll get two birthday presents.”
“You see? I knew we’d work it out.” She grins. “I’ll buy you a ticket for Homecoming this week so you have it. Austin has to buy them ahead of time and he won’t get you one if he thinks you
’re working.”
“Perfect.” I hear the door open.
“Morning, Katie-Kins!” my mother sings. “Are you and Liz having fun?” My mom is dressed casually in Genetic Denim jeans and a three-quarter-length sleeve ballet-neck navy T-shirt with flats.
“This place is amazing, Mom,” I tell her. “You’ve got to ask them to use the Jacqua Buttercream Frosting lotion for your massage.”
“Is that what smells so overpowering in here?”
Who said that?
I do a double take. Walking in behind my mom is Alexis. In addition to a super-sized smile, she’s wearing hip-hugging J Brand jeans and a bedazzled burgundy tank top. Her long red hair is a little frizzy, but perfectly curled at the ends, like she’d gone to a party the night before and it hadn’t been redone since. Laney is standing behind her and she looks really ticked off.
“Hey, Alexis.” I manage to compose myself quickly. “I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”
“I invited Alexis to join us so we could tell her all about how Burke Management has enhanced your career,” Mom explains happily.
What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
There goes my blissful Saturday.
I can feel my heart palpitations kick-start. With work being so busy this past week, and Mom’s social calendar more packed than Nobu on a Saturday night, I haven’t had a chance to tell her or Laney my suspicions about Alexis or about the stunts she’s been pulling on set. Thankfully, from the look on Laney’s face, I take it Nadine’s told her a thing or two. But it’s obvious Laney hasn’t discussed them with Mom yet.
Laney slips out of the BCBG blazer that I gave her and plops down next to me. “I had no idea she was coming till I pulled up and saw her flaming red hair in your mom’s Beamer,” she whispers to me while Mom is busy introducing Alexis to Liz. “I was wrong about this girl. I want you to know I’m not on board with this, Kaitlin. I don’t represent frauds. Having FA’s biggest star on my roster is enough for me.”
I’m so touched I want to reach out and hug her, but I know Laney doesn’t like to have her neatly pressed clothes wrinkled. Instead, I smile brightly.
“Nadine has been filling me in about Alexis and her blatant attempt to woo the writing staff,” Laney continues, her voice dripping with disdain. “Well, that’s nothing compared with the disturbing set gossip I’ve been hearing.” My heart lurches as Laney’s dark eyes peer into mine ominously. “This girl is no good. I don’t trust her and I don’t like how she’s infiltrated FA. You’ve got to be careful. I mean it.”
“I know,” I say, feeling light-headed. Laney has just confirmed what I’ve been thinking about Alexis for a while and I’m not sure how to process it.
“I’ll straighten out your mother,” Laney promises as my mom whips a large stack of papers out of her green Balenciaga tote and places them on the table in front of me. “Trust me.”
“So is this why you wanted me to come here today?” I whisper to my mother as she takes a seat on the couch across from me. I smile sweetly at Alexis, who is making small talk with Liz. “So that you could woo Alexis?”
Mom purses her lips, which look thin again. I’m sure lip plumping is on her agenda today. “Shh,” she says, looking over her shoulder at Alexis. “Don’t look at me like that. We’re here so you can have a relaxing, well-deserved day of pampering. I just thought it would be nice to write the whole expense off by doing some business as well, so I invited Alexis.”
“Didn’t the spa comp this whole thing because Kaitlin was a guest?” Laney asks. I try not to grin. She’s probably right.
Mom raises her right eyebrow at Laney. Uh-oh. “It can’t hurt to talk to her about my management firm, can it?” Mom asks us.
“I really don’t think that’s a good . . .” Laney stops talking when she realizes Alexis is listening. Alexis walks over and takes a seat next to me.
“I’m so glad we’ve got a chance to bond together today, Kaitlin,” Alexis says to me. “I was just telling your mom that I rarely see you when we’re not shooting.” She looks like a sad puppy in a store window.
“She’s good,” Liz whispers in my ear.
“That’s why you came today, Alexis? To hang out with Kaitlin?” Laney asks politely. “That’s so nice.”
TRAP HER Laney. At least someone other than me — and, well, Sky — sees through Alexis’s sickingly sweet fake act.
“That’s the main reason.” Alexis smiles at me. “I’m dying to know more about Kaitlin Burke! What makes you tick? What do you like to do on your day off?” She stares at me, waiting for an answer.
“Nothing exciting,” I say slowly. “I do the same things everyone else does.”
“You’re too modest!” Alexis laughs. “You can admit how fabulous your life is! I think it’s great. But I have to admit, I do have another motive for coming here.”
I hold my breath, wondering what Alexis is going to say.
“I wanted to meet the fabulous Laney Peters and talk to your mom.” Alexis grins. “I’ve heard you two are an unstoppable PR and management team.”
Now it’s my mom’s turn to smile. All this smiling and someone’s face is going to freeze that way during a facial.
“I didn’t think I needed representation, but now I’m wondering if I do.” Alexis frowns. “This town can be really tough.”
Here we go.
“Hollywood’s not meant for everyone,” Laney says simply, as the door to our suite opens and five Argyle Spa employees file in with a manicure and pedicure cart.
“Oh good, our first appointment,” Mom says excitedly. She glances at Alexis with a look of concern. “Alexis, dear, tell us what’s going on. Are people giving you a hard time?”
“I’m having a problem with my contract.” Alexis starts to tear up.
Wow, she’s an even better manipulator than Sky.
“I didn’t realize when I signed on that it was only for half a season,” she moans. “The Colby character could be a huge asset to this show if they’d just keep her around.”
When I hear Alexis say that, I almost want to laugh. So Alexis thinks my mom, Laney, and I can help her? I shake my head. Alexis’s motives are clear to me now, but I still don’t get what they have to do with me and Sky. Why is she talking trash about us? Is it jealousy because we’ve been on the show forever? There’s still so much about Alexis I haven’t figured out.
“That’s TV,” Laney echoes some of my sentiments out loud. “You signed for a limited story arc and that’s all they’re going to give you.”
Alexis looks annoyed with that answer and turns her attention back to my mom.
“But maybe we can help, Laney,” Mom suggests. She looks at Alexis’s sad face. “Is there anything we can do to change their minds?”
Alexis’s face relaxes a bit. “Well, the more people say they like working with me, the better,” Alexis confides. “FA is such a great TV family and I’d love to be part of it longer. I’m just so overwhelmed about how to do that. I’m not as savvy as Kaitlin, you know? I don’t know all this fancy lingo and how to deal with the paparazzi.” She pauses and turns to the woman preparing to do her man-icure. “After this, I’ll be having a Hamman scrub, an Organic Boost facial, and if there’s time a hot stone four-hand massage.”
“She doesn’t sound savvy at all,” Liz whispers. I try not to giggle.
Across the room, I hear the familiar vibration of my Sidekick and take the opportunity to jump off the couch to retrieve it. Five minutes in the room with Alexis and already I feel my loosened shoulder knots begin to tense up again. I read the message.
WOOKIESRULE: How’s my girl doing? It hasn’t even been 12 hrs. since I saw U and I miss U.
A smile spreads across my face, and for a moment I forget the beauty and the beast scenario I’m currently starring in. I carry my Sidekick back to my spot on the couch, noticing that Alexis has moved over to give me less room, and squeeze myself back into my rightful place. The manicurist sees the Sidekick and gets to wo
rk on removing the polish from my toes instead.
PRINCESSLEIA25: U made my day. I’m in spa hell.
WOOKIESRULE: Spa hell. Is that where supermodels go to die?
I can’t help but laugh aloud. “Who are you talking to?” Alexis asks.
“Probably her boyfriend,” Mom explains, sounding slightly annoyed. I glare at my mother. Did she have to bring him up?
Alexis smiles. “He’s adorable. I was talking to him for a while at the Priceless party when you were off networking. You better watch someone doesn’t try to steal him away.”
I can’t help myself. The words are coming out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Lucky for me, Austin — like most of Hollywood — finds me completely irresistible.” I hit send on my Sidekick and smile smugly.
PRINCESSLEIA25: I’ll explain later, but miss U 2. Especially right now.
WOOKIESRULE: Did U break the news about passing UR permit test yet?
PRINCESSLEIA25: Shhh! No. I wanted 2 wait till after my massage 2 break the news.
WOOKIESRULE: Uh-oh. Good luck. TTYL — if U R still alive.
Very funny! I slide my Sidekick safely back in my bag and resist the urge to hit Alexis over the head with my hardware. If she says even one more word about Austin, I just might.
“Oh, he’s not famous.” I hear Mom saying to Alexis. She’s talking about Austin, I’m sure. “Kaitlin met him when she did that god-awful school stunt last year.”
“School stunt?” Alexis asks, looking intrigued.
“I’m just going to run to the bathroom,” Liz says, trying to slip out of the line of fire. I hear her slippers smack against the floor as she hurries out.
Laney clears her throat. “I feel for you, Alexis, but I really don’t think Meg and I can help you,” she interrupts, stopping my mother dead in her tracks. Mom’s jaw drops, as does Alexis’s. I try to suppress a smile. “Kaitlin is a huge client, and I don’t think either of us have time to take on another client on the same hit show. It would be a conflict of interest.” Alexis looks flustered. “I’d be happy to give you the name of other management firms and publicists at my company though. I hope we haven’t wasted your Saturday. You’re welcome to stay and hang out with Kaitlin, like you said you wanted to do.” Laney’s smile is thin.